40 Days
by CSHL
Summary: This is MY version of the famous Flight to Bespin. A day by day account of the journey filled with love, arguements, possibilities, bets, laughter, tears, nightmares, and regrets. Voted as best Han and Leia Fanfic!
1. Day 1: The Journey Begins

**Hello again everyone! I am very happy to share this second Han and Leia fic with you!**

**This is the first story in my trilogy, is set specifically during "The Empire Strikes Back" and is my version of their flight to Bespin. I always felt like there were so many questions that needed to be asked about this period in the movie, as there are just too many changes between Han and Leia for it to be much less than a month. 40 Days seems to be the common thought on how long the trip lasted, maybe because that's about the time that makes sense for their relationship, or because it just sounds nice. I have absolutely no idea. Either way, I hope this story will answer the questions the movie leaves open, and brings the storyline of Han and Leia together.**

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><p>This is the first fic in the series, and although you can read it as a standalone, I suggest you continue with the other two as they appear on the site. Remember, at this point, this is the only story up, due to the time it takes to write each chapter.<p>

The stories are intended to be read in the following order.

**40 Days (The current story)**

Promises (Set in between "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi" – Will be released November 1st, 2012)

Undetermined Title (Set during "Return of the Jedi")

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, the characters in this story or anything in the Star Wars Universe. I do on the other hand own a Lego Millennium Falcon and a couple Star Wars T-shirts, along with a few other random things…but that's it. Although I do, very much, wish I owned Han Solo (although some have pointed out that I own a Lego Han Solo…which is, in every aspect, true. LOL)<strong>

**This story was officially finished as of September 1****st**** 2012, and since then I have corrected any errors I have found or been notified of. Since this story was not originally beta-read, there is still the possibility that errors are present. I'm not perfect, so if you see something, please feel free to contact me about it and I'll fix it as soon as possible. **

**Also, some material in this story was NOT originally created by me! At the end of the story you can find a full credits list to all authors where ideas originally came from, along with sites that gave me any sort of information. **

**And here's a disclaimer. If you experience any of the following symptoms after reading this story, I cannot be held responsible, as you have been warned: Shaking, screaming, crying, melting into a puddle, giggling, laughing, uncontrollable emotions, death or turning into a force ghost. LOL. **

**And FINALLY, I suggest you look into my blog, called "More Than 40 Days." It is the official location of the latest information involving this story, as well as my other fics. I post pictures relating to the story, hints about upcoming storyline and have polls for things such as Upcoming Story Titles. If you are interested, you can find a web address on my profile!**

**Thank you and Enjoy this story!**

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><p><strong>40 Days<strong>

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><p><span>Chapter One: The Journey Begins<span>

"40 days? Really Han? You've got to be kidding!" yelled Leia.

"Nope Your Worship, I'm not kidding. The _Falcon_'s broken, and there's not much I can do about it!" replied Han.

"What am I going to do? I'm going to die on this ship!"

"Wait, who said I wanted to be stuck here with _you_ for the next 40 days?" Han yelled back at her, now equally angry.

"Ugh! You're impossible!"

The Princess and the Scoundrel had been sitting in the cockpit of the _Millennium Flacon_, discussing, more like yelling, about the duration of their trip to Bespin, a trip Leia was not supportive of even making.

"I can't be impossible! If it weren't for me, Your Highness, you wouldn't even be alive right now!"

"Well that's too bad Han, because being dead would be better than being here!" And with her last words, Leia stormed off out of the cockpit, leaving a very surprised Han behind her.

Although they had some fights, fights that were said to shake the walls of Echo Base on Hoth, they had their good moments too. Like after Yavin, when he had comforted her as she went through the loss of everything in her life. Or the times when Leia would help him fix the falcon, because he knew it calmed her. It let her take her mind off of the rebellion.

But this went too far. It wasn't uncommon for her to insult him, or his ship, but to make such a comment about death brought questions that worried him. This wouldn't be the first time Leia attempted suicide, and if that's what she was trying to do on Hoth, just wait for death to overcome her, he was going to make sure she didn't try again.

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><p><em>Journal of The Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_17th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to write something like this. I've tried before, but honestly, it's seems silly to me that you are acting like you're talking with someone, when you are really not. But I suppose it's like getting your feelings out by talking to someone without having the worry of them telling your secrets._

_Anyway, I found this data pad on the falcon, which, once again, I am stuck on until further notice. It's not exactly a new data pad, probably several years old, but I decided it was better than nothing._

_I'm writing this journal on this data pad for the following reasons: first, to ease boredom on this continuous flight to some strange planet called Bespin. I've never even heard of it, and I've sure got a bad feeling about going there. Second, to create a log of everything that happens on this journey, and third, to write down my thoughts on the idiotic, scruffy-looking, nerfherder, Han Solo._

_For some reason, he feels that since I'm easy prey. That he can just put his moves on me like he does any other girl and I'll just run into his arms and sleep with him. But obviously that's not me. I don't think I could ever bring myself to sleep with the likes of him. He's rude, arrogant and I doubt he cares about anything other than himself._

_For instance, that kiss we shared earlier in the circulatory bay was completely inappropriate. So does that mean I can't say I enjoyed it? Honestly, I did…a lot. Probably more than I'm willing to admit. I've never been kissed like that before. It was just so…intense. Maybe that's why I came running back here to Han's cabin now, maybe that or the fight we just had a few minutes ago._

_Oh yes, I'm supposed to be angry with him, am I not? I guess I was a bit harsh with my words, because I think I would much rather be here than be dead. I guess that's partly because of Han too though. A few years ago I probably wanted to be dead, in fact, there are several times I specifically remember wanting to be dead, but everytime that thought entered my head Han was always there to remind me that I wanted to live. Maybe not always for myself, but for the Rebellion, for Luke and Chewie, and I guess a little bit, for him._

_Oh darn, Han's at the door now. Trying to apologize or something, asking if I really meant what I said, which I already explained here that I didn't._

_Now, where to hide this data pad…_

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><p>"Leia, are you in there? Please open the door!" said Han through the door to his cabin. Yes, his cabin. He had offered it only a few hours ago when they had discussed rooming assignments. So he guessed it was really her room now, not his, and it was where she had run off to after their argument.<p>

"What do you want Han?" came the muffled response from Leia.

"I wanted to make sure you're alright. I'm really sorry what I said back there you know."

"I'm sorry too Han, but please, I don't want to talk about it."

"That's fine by me Your Highness, but I was wondering if you wanted to come out and give me a hand with fixing a few things. You told me once it calmed you down to be helping me."

The door slid open. "You remember that?"

"Yeah, you told me the third time you showed up to help me and Chewie out back on the last base."

Leia looked up at Han, "Yeah, I'll help. As long as you don't make any moves on me."

Han made a hurt look, "Who me? Your Worship, I would never think of doing such a thing!" The two walked to the main hold, where a large hole was opened in the floor. "Ok Sweetheart, I've got to get down there to repair some stuff, so if you could hand me parts and…"

"…tools when you need them. I know Han, just like the last time" Leia finished his sentence as he dropped down into the hole. He grabbed a tool sitting nearby and then disappeared as he went down.

"Hydrospanner" Han's voice said from in the floor. Leia grabbed the tool, a few feet away and then swung her legs over the side of the hole and handed it to him as he came up. He looked at her for a moment.

"Something wrong Captain? This is a hydrospanner, is it not?" asked Leia jokingly. For some strange reason, it felt as if there was peace between the two of them. _'Who knew I just had to kiss him to get him to shut up'_ thought Leia.

"No, nothing. Nothing's wrong…I just…thanks Leia" Han stuttered out. But something caught Leia's attention. He had used her name…again. The last time he had used that was back in the circulatory bay, but before that it was that night when he had given her the bracelet, which was always on her wrist.

As Han bent back into the hole, Leia quickly removed the bracelet and looked at the words engraved on the inside, _'You're nothing short of my everything.' _He had given her the bracelet back on Hoth, not long after they had first arrived there. She had been going through a tough time with a relapse of the emotions surrounding the destruction of Alderaan, and Han had come to her side to comfort her. It had been one of many times, moments when Han and Leia would be equal, not bickering, but comforting each other. She continued to look at the words engraved on the bracelet, but Leia's thoughts were interrupted as Han coughed.

"So Sweetheart, you like that bracelet I got you, huh?"

"Yes. I really do Han. Where did you find it?" she asked.

"Sorry Princess, but if I told you I'd have to kill you, and you know I certainly don't want to do that."

A smile crossed both of their faces. "Is that so, flyboy?"

Han, still in the hole and half Leia's height because of it, moved closer to her. "Yes your Worshipfulness, it is so."

Leia parted her legs without even knowing it, allowing Han to move between them and come up to her body. Han's voice was a whisper now, "And what are you going to do about it?"

"I have some ideas in mind captain, although I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like any of them."

"Oh, if they are anything like my ideas then I'm sure I'll love them Princess," and with that he reached up and pulled her head down to his and kissed her.

Unlike the kiss earlier in the day, this one was forceful. Leia had to admit that she enjoyed the first kiss, and was quite glad that 3P0 was not around to ruin this one. Han's arms moved from her head down her body, one resting just to her side and the other gently rubbing her hip, sending a tingling force throughout her body.

Suddenly Han pulled away, as if he was suddenly forbidden to touch her. "Sorry Leia, I'm sorry" he said before going back to work.

She wasn't sure what had just happened, but she certainly was confused. She had honestly been enjoying the kiss, and Han pulling away was not in his character, not at all. He was the kind of guy that would start a kiss and make it go somewhere, not stop it suddenly. She figured her best plan of action was to just ask him what the problem was.

"Han?" Within seconds he popped back up from the hole.

"Yes your highness? Could you hand me that part sitting there," he pointed to a part sitting a few inches from Leia.

She handed him the part and then noticed he was going to go back into the hole without letting her ask the question. "Han, wait." He looked back up at her. "Why did you stop like that?"

"Stop what?" he asked as if nothing had been stopped.

"You know exactly what Nerfherder."

"No, sorry, I don't your worship. Please enlighten me."

Of course he was going to play this game. He was going to avoid the subject she was trying to get at. So in the end, the best thing to do here was to just hit the nail on the head. He wouldn't be expecting that.

"The Kiss Han, the kiss. Why did you stop kissing me?" She was pretty happy with the surprised look on his face when she actually said what he thought she wasn't going to.

"Well your Highness, I didn't want to ruin what we have now. I don't want to fight with you when we are stuck in close confines for the next 40 days." He went back down to continue working.

Now Leia was really confused. First he suddenly stopped the kiss, and now he was going on about how he stopped because he didn't want to ruin their relationship the way it was now? Did that mean he didn't want to go back to fighting or he didn't want to go further. She figured it was most likely the first reason and the not the second, but still. What the heck was he talking about?


	2. Day 2: Secret Conversations

Day 2: Secret Conversations

As Leia woke the next morning, she glared at the chrono sitting on Han's bedside table. 0427. Frustrated that she had woken from a night of dreamless sleep, Leia flung her legs off of the bed. Realizing how uncomfortable it had been to sleep in her snowsuit from Hoth, she made a mental note to talk to Han about other clothing for the next 40 days.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, and to not wake the other people on the ship, Leia slowly opened the door and snuck into the hall before heading towards the Gallary to find some Caf.

As she slowly headed to the galley, she realized she didn't have to be quiet at all. The voices of Han and Chewie were clearly coming from the galley. It was only when she heard her name that she stopped.

"I just don't know Chewie, I mean, it's Leia!" A woof came from Chewie that signaled his response.

"Well of course I don't want to hurt her!" Another sound from the Wookiee.

"Why? I don't want to hurt her because I love her! Is that what you want to hear Chewie?" Without even waiting to listen for his next words, Leia ran back towards the cabin, not caring if anyone heard her.

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><p>"…Is that what you want to hear Chewie?" Before the Wookiee could even respond to his question her heard a distinct sound coming from the doorway, and it was now running back down the hall. "Kriff, that was Leia, wasn't it?"<p>

Han jumped up from the table and headed to the door way just in time to hear the door to his cabin slide shut. He headed back towards Chewie.

"Yep, that was her. What am I supposed to do now?"

**[Well Cub, you could always try talking to her. That might work.]**

"Yeah right. I don't know about you and Luke, but every time I try talk'n to her it ends up with her being angry with me for a week, or longer for that matter."

**[Maybe it's because you are always joking around? I am sure the Princess does not like being teased all the time.]**

"So you're saying I'm the problem here."

**[I didn't say that Cub. I personally know that you are just as every bit caring and a nice man as you are teasing and scoundrel.]**

"You've been talking to the Princess haven't you?"

**[She may have mentioned the incident in the circuitry bay yesterday.]**

"Wait, wait. Let me get this straight. She has been talking to you about _me_?"

**[The Princess has asked me to not tell you of our talks, but I feel that you should know at this point. You would find out sooner or later anyway, and it would be better leaving it now.]**

"So you two just sit down and have these little chats?"

**[I'd like to point out that we are currently talking about the Princess, just as I talk with the Princess about you.]**

Han gave his co-pilot a glare. "I suppose you're right, but that still doesn't help me in figuring out what to do now. I've never really been good at this relationship stuff."

**[I know you haven't Cub, but neither has Leia.]**

Han looked at the Wookiee before heading out towards the cockpit.

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><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/18/3902**_

_**So I guess I've made the Princess mad now, or something like that. I don't know why, but then again, do I ever know why? This time she overheard my conversation with Chewie, which of course, had to be about her. It's not like it was anything bad though. All I said is that I love her.**_

_**Granted, I think I'd be a little afraid if someone said that to me too, especially if that person was Leia at this point. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know what to do with it. I guess that really does make sense too, with what Chewie said and all, about how she doesn't really know anything about this relationship stuff.**_

_**Then again, she is a Princess. She must have had some sort of suitor that she had a relationship with, right? I think I remember her talking about some guy she had a crush on once, but that was mostly just an overheard conversation she had with Luke. I was just checking in on her though, to ask if she wanted to eat dinner with me and Chewie and Luke, since we had brought back some food on our last run. Maybe it was all just a illusion though, cause we honestly were all pretty drunk. A drunk Leia is sure an interesting one. Luke and I know to watch her alcohol now though, after her first suicide attempt, and the time I found her after the party on Yavin.**_

_**But then again, I don't feel the need to repeat those stories. They are already all in here anyway, so why rewrite them all down.**_

_**I just realized how many entries I have in here. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that knows about it though, and for good reason. I wouldn't exactly want my personal feelings toward Leia getting all out. If she ran off after my discussion with Chewie, think what would happen if she read the discussions I have with my ship in here. I wonder if she keeps a journal?**_

_**Solo Out.**_

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><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_18th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_He loves me? Han Solo, the scoundrel, smuggler, pirate, nerfherder and overall un-nice man, loves ME? Am I going insane? Or is this like in the holo-dramas, where I can't believe he loves me because I love him too?_

_I'm honestly not sure at this moment. It seems that one minute I feel like he is a complete idiot, and the next he's there to comfort me, and it's the only comfort I want. Maybe that tells the difference. Both Han and Luke have always given me plenty of attention since I met them three years ago, but for some reason, when I'm going through a tough spot, It's always Han's arms I want, and it's Han's arms that find me._

_Sure, Luke is an amazing friend, and I really couldn't ask for a better one, but he's more like a brother, and that's how it felt when we kissed the other day. It felt like I was kissing my brother. I can't really explain it, but it was strange._

_Now, when it comes to Han, I've got a complete opposite feeling. Like when he kissed me yesterday, both times, it felt, right. It didn't feel like when I kissed Luke. It felt the complete opposite actually. Maybe it's because Han is a good ten years older than me (although I do not have the knowledge of his exact age) while Luke is my age, to the day._

_So if that's what it is, do I love Han? It certainly is possible._

_I feel I'm going to need a better pass-lock on this thing._

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><p>Leia had just finished re-hiding her data pad when a knock sounded at the door. "Leia, are you in there?"<p>

She opened the door quickly, in her thoughts, a little _too_ quickly, to reveal Han standing on the otherside.

"Is this going to become a habit Princess? Me having to knock on my own door every time I need to find you?" said Han as he gazed down at Leia.

"No Han. Unless you want that to become a habit?"

"Your Worship, it's starting to sound like you're the one wanting to get me into bed!"

"Shut up Han. What did you 'knock' for?"

"I came to ask if you wanted anything, Caf, food, extra blankets. I figured I'd be a bad host if I didn't."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there are a few things that would make my stay a bit more enjoyable, and none of them include a pilot in my bed."

"Well that's just too bad sweetheart. So what do you need then?"

"Clothes, for starters. This snowsuit isn't exactly comfortable."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I don't have anything that would be your size, considering the only beings that have lived on this ship lately are me and Chewie, and we are both a bit bigger than you."

"Chewie, a bit bigger?" Leia laughed.

Han laughed, "Yeah Princess. I might have some old clothes that could work though. Here, let's see." He pushed his way into the cabin and headed towards the set of drawers on the other side, next to the refresher.

Opening the lowest drawer he moved some stuff around. "Here Sweetheart, you could try these for starters. They'll be big on you, but it's probably better than that suit you have been wearing." Han handed her a bundle of clothing.

"Thanks Han."

"Anything else?"

"A hairbrush, toothbrush and some soap would be nice."

"Chewie has a ton of brushes. It will take some work to get the Wookiee hair out, but anything you find in the cabinet in the main 'fresher is up for grabs. As for a toothbrush I know we don't have any extras, but you are welcome to share mine."

"Han, I don't think…"

"Hey, it's not like our mouths haven't touched before" he said, referring to the kisses they had shared the day before. "And I promise to rinse it off real well after I use it."

"I suppose, but you better not tell anyone about it."

"I promise, cross my heart. As for soap, I think you left some here a few trips ago. I was going to bring it back, but I guess I forgot. It's probably in the cabinet in my 'fresher."

"Alright, thanks Han."

"Will that be all Your Highness?" Han made a fake little bow, making Leia laugh for once.

"Well, I'd like to take a shower, and after that, a nice hot cup of Caf sounds pretty nice."

"I'll be waiting for you in the galley Princess." With that, Han made another bow and then headed out the door, leaving a snickering Princess behind him.

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><p>When Leia came into the galley she looked completely different from what Han had ever seen her, and he'd seen her in some different fashions, including drunk, but he'd never seen her like this.<p>

She walked into the room wearing the clothes he had given her, his clothes. She had on a simple white t-shirt, of which actually fit her nicely, a pair of grey sweatpants that had the drawstring clenched tight around her thin waist and a pair of socks that were about ten sizes too big. Her hair was left in a loose, damp braid down her back and she had no make-up on, at all.

There wasn't much Han could do to stop from staring at her. She poured herself some Caf and gave Han a funny look.

"What?"

"Nothing Your Highnessness, it's just…I've never seen you like that before."

"What, like this?" she pointed to her clothing.

"Nope, not once. You were always in your pretty clothing, your hair all done special and everything. Never just a t-shirt and sweatpants."

"Yeah, I normally don't go around wearing a scoundrel's clothing" Leia smiled, teasing Han and making them both laugh a bit.

"Well for the record, I like it. You're more…you."

Leia continued to look at him, and then turned away. "Yeah, I suppose I've always kinda looked a bit, professional, haven't I?"

"Kinda?" Han said as he sat down at the table. Leia sat next to him, a safe distance apart.

"Yeah, just kinda."

"So why are you never dressed like this? I know it's not what you wear when you're by yourself."

"And how exactly would you know what I wear when I'm by myself?"

"Princess, after calming you down after nightmares and everything like that I have gotten a sense of what you wear and what you don't wear."

He had a point. Several times he had come to her side when he needed her most, like the time he gave her the bracelet that she always had on her wrist, or when she was dealing with the initial destruction of Alderaan.

"I suppose" said Leia as she shifted in her seat. "I really don't know why I never dress like this. I guess it's mostly because I never did as a kid on Alderaan. My dad was fine with it, encouraged me relaxing actually, but my aunts would hear nothing of it. This would be like wearing rags to them."

Han was listening intently and asked another question when she finished. "And when you joined the Rebellion?"

"When I joined the Rebellion officially I made the decision to wear what everyone else on base wore. My father raised me to know that it was the right thing. It made me one with the people, not one above the people." She looked to Han, who motioned for her to continue. "And even when everyone else wore just regular clothing, I didn't. I never had worn clothes like that, or this, before, so I just didn't. But I have to say, they are the most comfortable clothes I've ever been in."

Han laughed, "If you say so Princess. I wouldn't think clothing ten sizes to big would be that comfy."

"I wouldn't think so either, but it is."

As the laughing died down the two looked at each other for a moment, and then Han spoke.

"Well no matter if you are wearing senator's robes or a smuggler's shirt, you're still beautiful." And with that, he moved her face close to his, kissed her lightly, got up and headed towards the doorwary.

"Well Princess, It's probably time we got to work. There's a lot to do today."

As Han sat down for the light lunch they would be having, he found Chewie and Leia talking lightly.

"I didn't know you speak Wookiee" Han said as he grabbed a ration bar and began eating it.

"I do a little. I learned some when I was younger, my father insisted I know it. I don't know every word, but I know enough to hold a conversation. Either way, I'm going to ask 3P0 if he can work with me and Chewie so I can understand him a bit more."

The Wookiee made a response.

"I see. It makes sense though. You spend enough time around here anyway. I'm actually surprised you didn't decide to do that sooner."

"Yeah, but I guess I've been so busy the thought never occurred to me."

With that, the trio silenced as they ate their meal. It was a few minutes before anyone spoke.

"So Sweetheart, how is the inventory coming?" asked Han.

Leia had started counting rations, energy levels, medicine amounts and basically everything else that morning, trying to figure out if they would be ok with everything for the remainder of the trip. "It's going fine Han. I finished with the food count this morning, and I'm moving on to the medicine this afternoon. We've got plenty of food, both fresh and rations, although the fresh stuff will only last so long."

"Yeah, I figured. We'll just have to split the meals. One fresh meal a day and two ration meals."

"That's fine with me. As long as I can have on fresh meal! It seems like it's been forever since I ate actual food." The trio laughed.

"Yeah, me too. Even with bringing fresh stuff back from runs I feel like I never eat decent."

"Well it's not the Rebellion's fault though, we just don't have money to fund for better food."

"Yeah, I get it. But I have to say, the Rebellion stuff is a heck of a lot better than the slop they gave us with the Empire."

"Really? I'd expect that with all their power they could at least afford to feed their pilots."

"Not really, it's mostly just watered down stuff. They save the money for stupid things, like death stars." Once again, they all laughed.

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><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_18th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Well, the majority of the day has been quite uneventful. All I've been doing is counting stuff. It seems we have enough fresh food left to have one decent meal a day, with the rest as rations. For dinner today (the designated Fresh meal) Han made some sort of stew. He wouldn't tell me what was in it (typical Han) but it was good never-the-less._

_When we were talking at dinner Han mentioned he knew how to cook and bake, or something like that, and when I said that I always burned everything and couldn't make even a cake, he told me he'd teach me sometime on our trip. A good time-consuming activity he said. I suppose we could all use some entertainment. I figure I'll finish the inventory and then clean up some of the holds, the extra bunk room and Han's room…not that it needs much cleaning._

_The first time I took a trip on the Falcon where I needed a cabin Han had offered me his, and since then he has done so for every trip. I always try to make him use his own cabin, but he always refuses, saying that I need privacy. Who thought that Han Solo could be a nice man?_

_Anyway, so that first trip I noticed that his cabin was actually pretty clean. It's not like he cleaned it before I got in there either, because he wouldn't ever have much time, especially the first time and this time. His clothing was always either put neatly away in his cabinet or in the hamper if it was dirty. I don't know where he washes it all, but he does somehow. The bed normally isn't made, but I normally don't care. I actually like how it's not made, it makes the room feel more like a real home._

_His desk is often covered with books, plans, notes and manuals. Typical for a pilot I figure. I never really looked in the other cabinet, but I'm sure it must be the place where everything random he has is held. I'm going to go through it when I clean, although I suppose I'll have to ask Han first, because I know I wouldn't want him butting in on my private space._

_Overall, the trip is going better than expected. Still though, only 38 days left._


	3. Day 3: A Star Box

Day 3: A Star Box

_**Log of the Millennium Falcon**_

_**4/19/3902**_

_**It's been what, two days, since we started this stupid trip and Leia's not even really mad at me yet…this has got to be a new record. The Kid always said that we couldn't last more than an hour in small confines (such as the Falcon) without tearing out each other's throats. I guess he was wrong. I think he was just jealous, but who could really compare with an amazing guy like me?**_

_**Anyway, I'm not really sure what's up with Leia. She was kinda quiet yesterday, really only talking to me when I initiated the conversation or needed to ask about something. She's probably kinda annoyed with me because of the conversation with Chewie yesterday, but what am I supposed to do? I feel like she would chop off my head if I brought THAT subject off, even if I truly do mean what I said.**_

_**But that's the thing with Leia. You always have to be careful with what you say. So much has happened to her. So many lies she was forced to believe, so much taken away. When something like that is dropped on her, she tells herself that it's not true, even when it is, and only time makes her understand that what she thinks is false is seriously true.**_

_**What have you gotten yourself into Solo?**_

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><p>"Well, that's it for the inventories Flyboy. Everything is counted." Leia walked into the main hold, where Han was sitting looking through a repair manual.<p>

"Already? Gods you're fast! How do you have all of that counting done already?"

"Han, it's honestly not that hard to do if you actually work instead of goof around."

"What do you mean by 'goof around'? I'm pretty sure _you_ were the one kissing me the other day."

"You kissed me first Han."

"But you kissed me back, and that was distracting me from my work."

"Whatever." Leia headed towards Han. "Is there anything else you want me to help with?"

"Well I can't really think of much," he responded, going back to his profession manner, the one he only took on when it involved his ship. "Why?"

"I was just wondering, because if there isn't anything else for me to do, I was going to clean up a bit. I'm sure the crew quarters and basically everything else around here is a mess."

"Yeah, I guess you could work on that. I haven't cleaned out some of the stuff in ages, so good luck."

"Thanks," said Leia, and she turned and headed for the hall leading towards her cabin, but she turned back around. "Han?"

"Yeah Sweetheart," he replied, looking up at her from the manual.

"I was just wondering if I could clean out that cabinet in your cabin? You know, the one next to the desk?"

"Getting interested in my personal life are we?"

"No, not at all…it's just…I was…I stay in there all the time. I get a bit curious you know."

"Well I'll tell you what. How about we go through it together. There's not exactly a lot to do around here at night you know. It will provide some entertainment."

"That's what you always say, entertainment." Leia laughed, "But ok, that sounds…nice."

"Yeah, nice" whispered Han as he watched Leia walk away down the hall.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_19th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Did Han just ask me out?_

_Well, it wasn't really him asking, it was more-so me asking a question and him responding with "We'll do it together" and me saying "Ok." So I suppose it's not really a date, at least not one like I've been associated with. Then again, there really isn't much of anything to do on the falcon once Han decides to stop work, which he dubbed as the time of 1800. I guess it makes sense. You can't be doing work all day._

_Anyway, so if there really isn't anything else to do on the falcon, and Han and I are doing the particular activity together, does that mean it's a date? It sure sounds like one…especially since Chewie and 3P0 are not invited, as far as I can understand._

_Nothing much else happened so far today, and I'm really writing mostly because I'm bored at the moment, and I don't feel much like cleaning yet. I've been taking inventory all morning (thank the Gods that's done!) and Han says I'm supposed to relax a bit on this trip. Here's how our conversation went earlier on this topic…_

_"Hey Princess?"_

_"Why do you work so hard?"_

_"Because I have to Han? Who else is going to run the alliance?"_

_"Well, for starters there's Rieekan, Mon Mothma…"_

_"Ok, I get it. But I still have a job to do."_

_"And that's why you need a break!"_

_"What in the galaxy are you talking about?"_

_"Well Sweetheart, maybe this trip was a blessing in disguise! You get some time off this way!"_

_"I don't think that was the point of this trip Han, it's to get away from the Empire, remember?"_

_"Well either way, it won't hurt you to catch up on some sleep and relax a bit."_

_And then he just walked back out. I'm not sure if he had it all planned out or what, because he probably knew what I was going to say the entire time. He's been around me more than enough to do something like that. Either way, I suppose he is right, I do need a break. Before this I wasn't off base for nearly two months! Even Rieekan was trying to get me to go off base with Han on the next run. I said something about training for troops and then Han was going to leave, and then the whole imperial thing._

_We'll just have to see if the thing later is actually a date to see for sure what he meant by all of this._

* * *

><p>"Well whatever it was you made for Dinner, it was delicious! Where did you learn to cook like that Han?"<p>

"Thanks Princess, but I don't tell all my secrets."

The two were walking towards Han's cabin. They had decided earlier to go through the cabinet after dinner, and that's what they were going to do now.

"I was just wondering! I've never really been able to cook. When I was a kid they tried to teach me. My dad thought learning stuff like that was important, but I just wasn't any good at it." Han pressed the keypad and the door to the cabin swished open. Leia sat down on the bed and Han went to the cabinet. He opened it.

"Well, let's see Sweetheart, what've I got in here?"

"How should I know? Isn't that why we're cleaning?" They both laughed.

"Yeah, I guess so." He pulled out a few books. "I didn't even know I owned these!" He passed them to Leia. She was surprised to find they were just regular books, not stuff like manuals, but books on history. She looked up at Han.

"I never saw you as the history book type."

"Is that so?" He grabbed a stack of stuff from the cabinet and threw it on the bed next to Leia before sitting down on the other side of the pile. "I guess I wouldn't really see myself as that kind of type either. I don't know, I just always liked learning about what the rest of the galaxy was like."

This was one of the first times Leia had heard anything to do with Han's past. Granted, at this point it really wasn't about the past at all, more-so just Han's interests, but still.

"Well that makes sense. I never really had time for reading for fun when I was younger. I really didn't have time for anything."

"Well," he grabbed a book off the bed, "I suggest this one."

"The Origins of Corellia. Sounds like an incredibly interesting book" she said sarcastically.

"Hey, it's kinda about me! You can't say I'm boring!"

"That's true. Everytime I'm around you I'm either arguing or praying I don't die."

"We're not arguing now."

"Who says I'm not praying?" They both laughed again. "You're right though, we're not arguing. It's nice." Han looked at Leia for a moment before turning back to the pile.

"Hey, here's something I haven't seen in a while!" He pulled out a small box and held it up for Leia to see.

"What is it?"

"You can't tell me you've never seen one!"

"I think I am telling you that! I honestly don't know what it is."

"Here, I'll show you." Han stood and walked to the other side of the room and set the small box on the edge of the desk. He went over and turned out the lights before going back and pressing a button. Suddenly the entire room was filled with stars and planets.

"Woah."

"Is that all you have to say Princess?"

"Yeah. I'm still not sure what it is, but it sure is amazing."

"I never really knew the technical name. I got it as a present when I was ten. Call it my star box."

"Who gave it to you?"

"Like I said before Princess, I don't give away all my secrets."

"Well how about this," Han sat back down while Leia continued, "I'll tell you one thing you want to know about me and you have to tell me who gave you the box."

"Sounds like a pretty good deal. Ok. I'll ask first." He pondered for a question for a moment, "Ah, got it. Did you ever have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, I did once."

"And…?"

"Ah, we only agreed to ask one question." She laughed and Han gave her a look of disappointment. "Who gave you the star box?"

He sighed, "Dewlanna. She was the Wookiee that raised me when I was younger. My parents died when I was really young, so young I didn't even know my last name. I was captured by Shrike to work on his slave ship, and she basically became my mom. Anyway, when I was ten she gave me this as a birthday present."

"How did you find out your last name was Solo?"

"Ah, Princess. If you ask another question, then I too get to ask another!"

"Fine. I once dated a boy about my age named Rall Panteer. I guess you could say my father liked him, and he was a good friend, so we dated for a while. But that ended about a week before I was taken on-board the death star."

"Oh, sorry."

"No, it's fine. Now answer my question."

"Well, Dewlanna found it out somehow. I'm not really sure. When I was brought in my Shrike he just told everyone that my name was Han, and that was it. Eventually Dewlanna started telling me I was going to get out someday, and she wanted me to know my actual name. So she figured it out. I would imagine Shrike would be the only one who knew, so she probably made a deal with him or something. She did that a lot, made deals to save me from work or torture."

"What happened to her?"

"I think that's enough questions for right now Princess." Han went back to shuffling through the stack on the bed."

"Alright." As Han continued to look through the pile, Leia got up and walked around the room, looking slowly at each star and planet. "Han, do you think Alderaan would be in here?"

"Yeah, it's right…" he stood and walked a little to Leia's right, "here." Han pointed to a bright planet and Leia followed. "You want to see something even cooler than this?"

"Sure."

"Sit down." Leia followed his instructions and sat back on the bed. "Now watch." He lightly touched the star and its size slowly grew. Han went to sit back by Leia. Soon the planet was the size of the desk.

"That's amazing Han!"

"I figured you would say that."

"Oh my, look at this!" Leia jumped up from the bed and hurried to the picture. She couldn't take her eyes off the planet before her as she pointed to a small beach. "I used to go to this beach every spring with my father. It was our one weekend together away from work every year. He'd pick me flowers…and we'd play games…and…and…" tears began to flood Leia's eyes. Suddenly she felt someone take her hand.

"Leia, I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you upset."

"No, you shouldn't be saying sorry Han, I should be saying thank you. I haven't seen Alderaan in years, and being able to see it again is amazing." She began to cry a bit and Han pulled her into his arms. "Thank you Han."

"No problem Princess" he said, and they just stood there for a while, Han holding Leia as she grieved for her family, her planet, her life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/19/3902**_

_**Alright, I admit it. That probably was a pretty stupid thing to do.**_

_**First off, I shouldn't have agreed to go through that cabinet with Leia. I knew what some of the stuff in there was, like my star box. Considering I generally never talk of my past to anyone, it puzzles me why I feel like I said yes to her because I wanted to tell her about my past. I've never felt that way with anyone, not Bria, not Chewie, no one.**_

_**Second, I shouldn't have brought out the Star Box. I should have known that she would be interested in knowing where Alderaan was on the map, that's why I didn't pull it out sooner. I would have shown it to her years ago otherwise.**_

_**Third, even when she did ask where Alderaan was and I showed her, I shouldn't have enlarged it. That was just plain stupid. Of course I knew she would cry, that's what women do when they see stuff like that.**_

_**The worst part about all of this is that I don't even know why I made these stupid mistakes. I've lasted three years with the girl, why would I all of a sudden pull out the Star box and show her where Alderaan is, or was.**_

_**I guess the only explanation for all of this is that I really am in love. I can't remember a time I acted this stupid since Bria, and that was just a big mistake all together. But I feel like this time, this girl, is going to be a good thing. It won't be a stupid mistake. Maybe it will take a lot of stupid mistakes along the way, but in the end, Leia will never be a mistake.**_

_**If only I could make her understand that.**_


	4. Day 4: The Bet

Day 4: The Bet

When Leia woke the next morning, she was slightly confused. She didn't remember going to sleep. The last thing she remembered was…crying? Had she been crying? Wait…she did! She was crying in Han's arms. But either way, how did she end up in his bunk covered in a blanket?

Interrupting her thoughts, a knock was heard on the door and then it opened, revealing none other than Han Solo.

"Hey Sweetheart, you up?" he asked quietly, as if hoping to not wake her if she had been asleep.

"Yeah, I'm up" came the response from Leia. "Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You were pretty upset after last night."

"Yeah, about that. What exactly happened? I really don't remember anything."

"Well, we were cleaning out my cabinet…and we're not done with it either. We've still got some to clean if you want. Anyway, so we were cleaning and I was showing you my star box and…"

"And you showed me Alderaan" Leia finished Han's sentence and then looked away, just on the verge of crying again.

Han moved to sit next to her on the bed. "Hey" he said soothingly as he stroked her hair, "It's ok. Leia, look at me."

Instead of looking at Han, Leia roughly got up from the bed. "I'm going to go use the fresher" she said and headed towards the door to Han's fresher.

"Leia…" Han started, but she had already gone, the door to the fresher closed.

* * *

><p>Han was sitting with Chewie ready to begin eating lunch when Leia finally walked in.<p>

"Hey Sweetheart, we waited for you."

Leia sat down at the table and looked around at the meal. "Thanks" she said plainly.

"It's not much, just ration bars again, but we can always try to pretend it's better than that" Han said, desperately trying to start a conversation to avoid the awkwardness in the room. When he got no response from Leia he tried again. "I was thinking maybe we could watch a holo tonight? I found a few of them stashed in my cabinet when we were cleaning last night."

"That sounds nice" was the only response he got. He gave a look to Chewie and the trio continued to eat in silence.

Eventually Leia spoke up, starting a conversation. "Did you know they had bets on us?"

"Yeah, I guess I did. How did you find out?"

"I found a flyer in your cabin Han." Leia was glaring at him now.

"Hey, I just took that off the wall to avoid others seeing it Princess" Han shot back, holding up his hands as if to surrender.

"Oh," Leia suddenly finished. Her gaze hurried back down to stare at the food on her plate. Once again Han looked to the Wookiee and they continued their meal in silence.

Eventually, Han decided to ask another question, "Leia? Why would you be so unhappy about what they were betting on? It's all pretty harmless really."

With those words, Leia looked up and gave Han an icy glare. "I am not happy with my personal life being the main interests of everyone around me Han."

"Woah, woah…wait a minute. You don't like it?" he pointed a finger at her, " What about me? Are you implying that I like my personal life getting out?"

"Everyone knows about your personal life. We all know how many of the women on base have been to your ship."

"What in the galaxy are you talking about?"

"You think I didn't know? Funny, because it seems that just about once a week someone comes to me and tells me about how amazing you are."

"Well I don't know what they're talking about Princess, but I don't generally have women on my ship anymore. Maybe I did once, but I haven't in a while. You'd be the first on since we got to Hoth."

"See, now you know how it feels to have your personal life seem like a big lie. Doesn't it feel nice?"

"Is this all about those flyers? I already told you, it's not a big deal, if it was a big deal I wouldn't have…"

**[Han, I wouldn't do that] **interrupted Chewie.

Leia glanced at the Wookiee, but then turned back to Han. "Wouldn't have what Han? What wouldn't you have done?"

"Nothing your Highness, nothing."

"Well it sure seems like something. Come on, tell me!"

"Maybe if it was a big deal I wouldn't have bet."

"And what exactly did you bet on Solo?"

"I bet on us your Worship."

"I can't believe you would do that to me! Is this all just a big game to you? Are my nightmares funny? Is that why you come find me at night? Is it to make fun of me when stuff like this comes up?"

"Is that what you think? You think I come and comfort you to make fun of you? Really? I can't believe you thought that low of me! I know I have a reputation but that doesn't mean I don't care!"

"Then why do you come Han?"

"Has it ever crossed your mind that I come because I care about you?"

"It didn't until the other day, when you proved that statement wrong."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you the other day, talking to Chewie!"

"I know you heard me!"

"Then why didn't you come and explain, or talk to me, or something?"

"Maybe because I didn't want to."

"Ugh, stop acting like a child Han! You can't avoid the truth forever."

"And what's the truth?"

"That you didn't mean it! You don't love me!"

"Well then you're terribly misinformed Princess."

The look of shock on Leia's face ended the conversation, and she ran out of the room, beginning to cry.

**[I told you it was a bad idea cub.]**

Han turned to his co-pilot, "Don't you think I know that?" He then turned to the door and headed out, fuming, towards the cockpit.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_20th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_That stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking NERFHERDER! I honestly can't believe he'd go that far. I can't believe he would join in on those stupid bets. Ridiculous! And he had me convinced for a moment that he actually cared. He convinced me that he loved me, even though he really doesn't, and now he's trying to make me believe otherwise again._

_Wait, maybe the problem here is that I am actually just stupid enough to believe him. That must be the problem. He just prayed on me while I was weak. That's why he brought up Alderaan last night! He brought it up because he knew he would wear me down!_

_I just don't understand how he could use Alderaan like that! Of all things, taking the destruction of an entire planet and using it to get a girl. What a complete laser-brain! I've never known someone so idiotic or self-centered. Does he have no consideration at all for the people who lost their lives on that planet when the Empire blew it up? Does he have any consideration for ME? You'd think that after all this time he would at least care a little bit._

_Well, if he doesn't care, what will it matter if I die? I should just die, like the people of Alderaan before me. Luke's gone to who knows where, we won't see the Rebellion for a while, and Han doesn't even care, so what's the point of living?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/20/3902**_

_**What did I say this time?**_

_**Ok, I suppose it could have easily been what I said about the whole bet thing, but really, it wasn't a big deal. Some of the rogue kids just wanted to have a little fun and I sure can't blame them. Of all the planets the Rebellion chooses for their new base they pick the coldest, most boring one possible? Who in their right mind picks a planet like that?**_

_**I guess she was kind of right though too, It probably is pretty annoying for her to have to worry about her personal life being the talk of everyone. Granted, I don't feel bad about my personal life being the talk because I don't have a problem with it. Everyone is going to find out about my personal life anyway, so what does it matter WHEN it gets out?**_

_**But for Leia, she has enough to worry about. With the rebellion and keeping up with Me, Chewie and Luke, I suppose it is a little much. Plus, she is a bit younger than me, and she's a woman, so she's probably more worried about stuff like that than I am. But still…I can't believe she doesn't believe me. I really do love….wait, what was that noise. Oh sith…**_

* * *

><p>Han jumped up from his seat in the cockpit and ran towards the air-lock, which had for some reason just been breached. He had a bad feeling about what he might, or might not for that same matter, find when he got there.<p>

As he rounded the corner he stopped. There, ready to open the hatch to the air-lock was Leia, crying like he'd only see her cry a few times, and ready to attempt suicide again.

"Leia, please…step away from the airlock" Han said cautiously, trying to keep calm.

"Why should I?" Leia cried, gasping for breath, "No one will care if I suddenly disappear. The alliance will just think I died, you can go off to pay Jabba and have a nice life and no one will ever know the wiser."

"You know that's not true Leia."

"Yes it is. You don't understand" she screamed at Han.

Chewie slowly rounded the corner behind Han but stopped, looked at the situation and then turned back around, knowing he needed to leave the two humans to figure this out themselves.

"You're right Leia, I don't understand" Han admitted, slowly edging closer to Leia. "But just because I don't understand doesn't mean I don't _want_ to understand!"

"Why would you ever care anyway? I'm just an ex-princess who lost her entire life, turned into an icy cold woman who drinks, does drugs and wants to kill herself. Why in the galaxy would you care about me?"

"Maybe because you're smart, beautiful, funny and the most amazing woman in the entire universe?" he said calmly.

"You don't mean any of that" she spat back at him, getting closer to the air-lock.

"But I do. Why else would I have come back for you?"

Leia pondered his words for a moment, taking them in. Han grew even closer to the Princess, but she stepped away.

"Stay away from me Han" she said with a warning tone.

"I'm just trying to protect you from making a big mistake."

"But what if this isn't a big mistake? What if this is what I want?"

"But it's not what you want."

"How would you know? You didn't watch your life die before your eyes! You didn't endure the torture! So how could you ever know what I want?"

"Because…" Han was speechless.

"See, you will never understand. This will all be for the better Han, with me dead. No one cares about me anymore anyway…"

"Now wait just a second, what about Chewie and Luke? They would do anything for you…anything in the galaxy. And you probably would kill Rieekan if he found out that you killed yourself! You're like his daughter Leia! The entire Alliance looks up to you! You're their leader. If you do this now, it's like surrendering!"

"And what about you Han?" Leia glared at him, waiting for him to answer.

"If you go in that air-lock I might as well go with you, because there is no way in this galaxy I'm going to live without you around to keep me in line."

Leia was shocked. Maybe she realized what she was about to do, maybe she figured Han was right. There was so much for her to live for. If not for herself, there was still the Rebellion to think about. Or maybe it was the shock of his last words. Whatever it was, she fell to the ground, her back against the wall, tucked her knees to her chest and began to sob.

Han quickly sat down next to her. Unsure of what to do with the girl next to him, he just put his arm around her shoulder in a comforting move and set his head gently on top of hers. She moved into his embrace.

"I'm so sorry Han."

"No, It's kinda my fault. I never should have bet on that stupid thing and I shouldn't have brought up Alderaan like that. I'm sorry."

Leia looked lightly at Han, but only said two words.

"Hold me."

* * *

><p>A few hours later Leia emerged from the fresher looking more like herself. After her episode with the air-lock Han had sat with her on the floor until she calmed down, and then suggested she take a shower before they settled down for the night.<p>

After a small dinner, of which everyone seemed to enjoy, Chewie pulled out the holo-projector and put in a holo of which would be interesting to only him…_A Hike on Kashyyyk_. About half-way through the film Chewie had fallen asleep in his chair, leaving Han and Leia looking to one another wondering if it was safe to leave. Generally, if Chewie told them to stay for the whole thing, which he had, he meant it. If you left before the end, you may not live long enough to see another holo.

"Do you think it's safe?" Leia whispered to Han from across the room. She felt she had made the mistake of sitting across the room from Han, mostly because it was opposite the door and it would be much harder to sneak out because of it.

"I don't know Sweetheart. You know how Chewie gets!"

"Well how much longer until this thing is over?"

"Probably about another three hours. We're only about half-way across the planet, and this is probably the extended version."

"Are you kidding?"

"Nope, not kidding your worship."

Leia slowly got up, trying not to wake the sleeping wookiee.

"I wouldn't do that Princess!"

"Well I'm tired, it's kinda been a long day…I'm sure Chewie will understand."

"Whatever you say."

"Han?"

"Yeah Sweetheart?" Han grew a bit more serious.

"Would you do me a favor and tell Chewie that I regret I couldn't finish the holo because of how tired I was but I hope that we can finish it tomorrow?"

"I'll tell him yYour Worship."

Leia started to walk out the door, but Han stopped her. "And get some sleep, ok?"

She looked back at the smuggler, now wearing a serious face. "Yeah, I'll try Flyboy."


	5. Day 5: A Life Debt

Day 5: A Life Debt

Chewie was sitting in the galley drinking from his oversized caf mug when Leia walked in. Sleep was evident in her eyes, as there were dark circles underneath them. Her clothes, a different pair of Han's sweatpants and a light grey t-shirt, were messed and her hair fell down her back in a tangled braid. Considering the events of the previous day, Chewie wasn't surprised at her appearance.

The wookiee was surprised, on the other hand, at her sudden outburst the night before. He knew of her thoughts about death before, but her outcry had been so sudden. She had been upset in general the past few days, with the anniversary of Alderaan's destruction coming up, but he never expected her to attempt suicide.

Leia sat down across the table from Chewie with her caf. She looked up at the wookiee from the rim of her mug before setting it down on the table.

"Chewie? Could I ask you something?"

**[You can ask me anything Princess.]**

"I was just wondering about your family back home."

**[I see. Would this have anything to do with you sneaking out during the middle of the holo last night?]**

"I'm so sorry Chewie. I was just…tired…after yesterday."

**[It's fine. I understand. Han said you'd like to finish it sometime.]**

"That sounds nice Chewie, but maybe not tonight like I thought. I'm pretty worn out still, but maybe later in the trip."

Chewie nodded and then continued the conversation. **[You still want to learn about my family?]**

"I'd love to Chewie. I haven't really heard much about them…just that you had one."

**[I suppose so. I don't talk of them much these days, mostly out of protection for them, but I feel you should know.]** He paused, Leia continued to look at him, her eyes telling him to continue.** [I have a small family, and they are settled still on Kashyyyk. I was forced to leave them when I made my life debt to Han.]**

"You left your family for Han?"

**[Yes Princess, I did.]**

"Why?" she asked, completely confused. "I know you have the life-debt, and that means a lot to Wookiees, but why?"

**[Han saved my life, and as a Wookiee, when someone saves your life, we often pledge a life-debt to that person. When Han saved me from the Imperials he sacrificed his entire life. His rank in the Empire, his occupation as a pilot, everything.]**

"He really did all that for you?"

**[Of course he did. Han is more caring than you might believe. He may have had a past princess, but he isn't evil.]**

The Princess seemed to ponder Chewie's words before speaking. "So you have a wife then?"

Chewie sighed, or sighed in Wookiee terms, before continuing. **[Yes, Malla. She's beautiful. When I first met Malla I had no idea she even liked me. It was actually my cousin that brought out our true feelings toward one another.]**

"And then you were married?"

**[Not exactly. There was another wookiee, fighting for her affections. On Kashyyyk it is not uncommon for two males to be attracted to the same female.]**

"It's not that uncommon in any world Chewie." They both laughed.

**[Anyway, another was also fighting for her affections, so he challenged me to an Honor Duel. He eventually lost because he used his claws, which is forbidden for a wookiee and completely unacceptable in an honor duel.]**

"So you had to fight for Malla?"

**[That is correct, but she told me once that she would have been unhappy if she had ended up with that other wookiee.]**

"That's so sweet Chewie."

If the wookiee was going to say anything else, it was cut off as Han walked into the room. "What's so sweet?"

The Leia from the moment before, completely absorbed in Chewie's story, turned into a Leia with walls around her. "I was just saying that Chewie's wife was so sweet to say she would have been completely unhappy with anyone else."

"That sounds like Malla" Han laughed. "She completely adores Chewie here." Chewie stared at Han, waiting for him to continue. "Well, she does!"

**[He is right, Malla adores me and I adore Malla.]** He stood up, having finished his Caf. **[Now, if you excuse me, I had better get to work.]** The wookiee walked out of the room, leaving Han and Leia to themselves.

Leia turned back to her Caf, now more lukewarm than hot as it had been before. Han stood leaving against the counter, sipping his Caf. It stayed silent in the room for a few moments, before Leia stood up, having finished her drink.

"Well, I suppose I should get to work too. I want to clean out the back hold today."

"Sounds good Princess." Han watched as she deposited her mug in the sink and then began to walk out the door. He quickly set down his own mug and grabbed her arm lightly. "Wait, Leia."

The Princess turned around to face the smuggler, looking right in his eyes. "What Han?"

He took a light hold on her shoulders, forcing her to continue looking him in the eyes. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I was worried about you yesterday." His hazel eyes searched her brown ones, looking for some sort of answer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know what came over me yesterday, but I'm fine now."

"You're positive? Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, I'm positive, and no I don't want to talk about it Han. I would like to get to work, if that's ok with you." She pulled out of his embrace and headed towards the hold, leaving Han to stare after her.

3P0 broke Han's thoughts, "Sir, I was wondering what you want me to work on today."

Han sighed, picking up his Caf again, "Why don't you go and help Chewie in the main hold Goldenrod, I'm sure he could use some help."

"Why of course Sir, it would be my pleasure." The droid headed back out of the room, once again leaving Han to himself.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/21/3902**_

_**I've been thinking. Yes, we all know that it's dangerous when I start thinking, but maybe this time it's a good thing. I've been thinking about Leia, mostly. She was talking with Chewie this morning about his family, and I realized that maybe after this whole Rebellion thing blows over I could take her to Kashyyyk. Maybe even before the end of this war. She could really use a break.**_

_**I also remembered that the anniversary of the destruction of Alderaan is coming up. It will be while we are on this trip, so I figure that's why Leia's been so upset. We'll have to commemorate it somehow probably, although I'm really not sure what to do. I feel like anything involving Alderaan makes her upset, so I'm not even sure I can bring up the subject without her wanting to kill herself again. It scares me, it really does.**_

_**I've had some problems in the past, drinking, drugs, women, everything, but I can't ever recall hitting that low. The thought of taking my own life never even occurred to me. Of course, I knew Chewie would never forgive himself if something happened to me, especially something that I did to myself, but even so, I don't think I would have ever done something so drastic.**_

_**I guess Leia was right though. I don't understand what she's going through, not one bit. But I was right too, just because I don't understand doesn't mean I don't WANT to understand. Either way, I'm going to get to the bottom of this new suicide attempt, and I'm sure as heck going to make sure she doesn't try something like that ever again…even if I have to watch her for the rest of my life.**_

_**Granted…maybe spending every minute of the rest of my life with her wouldn't be so bad.**_

* * *

><p>Leia was pulling out another container from the back hold when Han walked in. She glared up at him. "What do you want now? Think I'm going to kill myself with this box?"<p>

Han grabbed another box from the hold and sat down next to her, "No Sweetheart, I think I can trust you as far as cleaning goes, but I just thought you might like some company."

"Well what if I don't want any company? Did you ever think about that?"

"Of course I thought about this Princess. I knew you would tell me to go away, and that's why I'm _not_ going away. I'm going to sit here and help you with cleaning out this hold, whether you like it or not." He opened the box, finding it filled with old clothes. He started sorting through them while Leia continued to stare at him.

"You're so childish sometimes…"

"Don't need you to tell me that Princess…but I like it that way."

"And why do you like it that way Han?"

"I suppose it's partly because I live with a Wookiee, and you've got to have some sense of humor when you live with them. That and I never really had a childhood."

Leia sat looking at Han, thinking about the words he just said, but her thoughts were interrupted as Han held up a white shall from his box.

"Hey Sweetheart, think this would fit you?"

She nodded her head, "Yeah, probably would" she said as she stood up and moved to take the shall from the smuggler. She pulled it on over her shoulders and found that it fit perfectly.

"See, I thought so" Han said.

"Yeah, I does, but how did this get here? How come you have women's clothing?"

"Well, it's probably left over from Lando. He always had women on this ship. It was his originally, his favorite in the entire yard. When I beat him at Sabacc he was forced to let me have my choice in his yard, cause that's what he bet…and I chose this one."

"Oh, well, it fits fine." Leia sat back down and went back to her box, but paused. "Before you said that you didn't have a childhood. What did you mean by that?"

Han stopped and looked at her, "Well, first off, you remember the deal. You ask me something, I ask you something." The Princess responded with a nod. "What I meant was that I really didn't have a childhood. I don't remember much of anything about my parents, like I said before, and because I was on Shrike's ship I was treated as a slave. We didn't have time to do normal things like play outside or even have friends."

Leia looked surprised, as if she couldn't imagine a life without a childhood, but once again, her thoughts were interrupted by Han. "But hey, I would've never had this life if my childhood had gone differently.

The Princess smirked, "You mean you like having a price on your head and your ship being constantly trailed by Bounty Hunters?"

Han laughed, "No, I didn't say that. But I would have never met Chewie or Luke or Lando…" He had stopped working with the box and was looking straight into her eyes. "If I had the opportunity to do anything different with my life, change anything at all, I wouldn't do it."

"Why Han? Why wouldn't you change your life? You could have been rich, profitable, you could have lived with your family."

Han pushed a few stray hairs out of Leia's eyes and spoke again. "I wouldn't have met you" he finished and then leaned towards her.

Leia's eyes closed as Han kissed her. Once again, it was different from any of the kisses they had previously shared. It wasn't forceful like when they had been working the other day, but it wasn't like the first kiss either, which had felt almost forbidden. This one was slow and comforting.

When Han didn't pull away, she leaned into the kiss, deepening it. Leia ran her hand up to the back of Han's neck, playing with the hair at the base of his head. She slowly opened her mouth to Han's, letting the feeling of his lips take her away from her worries.

Slowly Han pulled away, leaving Leia with an empty feeling. He continued to look into her eyes as he took her hand in his and held it tightly. He stood up, tugging Leia up with him and he kissed her again, this time lightly, before he reached down to pick up a bundle of clothing from the box. He handed her the clothes, kissed her forehead and turned to leave.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_21th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_What in the galaxy is wrong with me?_

_First I tried to kill myself last night, which I now realize was an incredibly stupid thing to do, and second, I kissed Han. That's right…I kissed him. Well, it was more of him kissing me and me kissing back, but either way, we still kissed._

_Anyway, so let's get back to problem number one. Attempting suicide was really stupid, and although I admit there were many times that I felt it was the right thing to do, this time it felt different. When I was standing by that airlock ready to pull the handle, I didn't feel like I was giving up because I had to, but because I felt I didn't have a future. There were so many things I wanted to do, and they all blew up with my planet._

_It's been three years since Alderaan, and when I came aboard this ship I wore the strong persona I kept on for the alliance, but on the inside I wasn't healed. When I came aboard this ship I was still denying to myself everything that I wanted._

_Before Alderaan's destruction there were so many things I wanted for my life, but I never imagined wanting someone like Han to be a part of it. So when he kissed me tonight, I'm really not sure what happened. It was like my entire outlook on life changed within that moment. Suddenly I allowed myself to stop denying the things I wanted, and I kissed Han back. Does that mean that I want Han to be a part of my future?_

* * *

><p>"Hey Princess."<p>

Leia had been sitting on the bed in Han's cabin, writing in her journal when Han knocked and entered to the room. She looked up from the data pad to see him carrying a tray full of food.

"Hey Flyboy. What's that?" she pointed to the food.

"It's just some snacks. You never came to dinner and I figured you might want something to eat."

She held the tray as he pulled the side table over to a more ideal position to eat the food while still sitting on the bed. Leia set the food on the table and then moved over to let Han sit next to her. The tray was filled with some fresh fruit and whatever they had for dinner that night, along with two plates and some water in two glasses.

"Why are there two plates?" Leia asked as she grabbed one and began filling it. Han grabbed the other.

"Because I'd like to eat too. Chewie ate earlier while I was still working and I didn't want to eat alone."

"There's always 3P0" Leia smiled. She knew of his dislike of the droid, and teasing him about it would just be fun.

"No thank you. I enjoy your company much more than goldenrod. Why didn't you eat yet?"

"I was busy."

"Busy with what your highnessness?"

She gave Han a playful punch in the arm. "Reading. You know that book you pulled out of the cabinet the other night. I'm about half way through it."

"You're actually reading that book on Corellia? Seriously?"

"Seriously. I actually find it pretty interesting."

"You find my home planet interesting? Does that mean you find _me_ interesting Princess?"

Han took a bite out of the bread on his plate as she answered, "I didn't say that Flyboy. I just said I found the book interesting." Leia looked down at her food and picked up a piece of fruit and shoved it in her mouth.

"So what have you learned so far?" he asked as he continued eating.

"Well, I've learned about the class structure, the imports and exports and about Corellian music. I'm just starting on the section about the geographical features of the planet itself."

"You learned about Corellian music huh?"

"Yeah, isn't that what I just said" she responded before taking another bite of food. "Why?"

"Oh nothing. It's just…Corellian music is pretty interesting."

"I didn't sense anything abnormal about it."

"Well, it's not strange on the surface, but when you get down into the real music, it gets pretty interesting. Especially if you go back a bit further in history."

"What's so strange about it?"

"I'm not sure if you want to know Princess."

Leia shifting on the bed so she was facing Han more directly, "No really, tell me. If I'm learning about Corellia I might as well know the truth about the music."

"Alright Sweetheart, but how about we save this for tomorrow. It's been a long day, and I'm pretty sure we could both use some sleep."

"Sounds like a plan. And don't think I'm going to forget because I'm going to learn about this music if it's the last thing I do!"

"You go with that plan Sweetheart" Han said as he picked up the plates and took Leia's from her as she handed it to him. Leia stood up to help open the door.

"Thanks for dinner. I probably would have forgotten to eat" she said as she touched his arm, prompting him to turn to her. She stretched up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight Han."

"Goodnight Princess" Han said and then headed out the door, smiling to himself.


	6. Day 6: CorPop

Day 6: Cor-Pop

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_22th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_This is a morning of firsts. It's the first time in a long time I've gotten up at a decent hour. It's the first time in an even longer time I've awoken actually awake, not exhausted like I normally am. And finally, it's the first time I've opened my eyes feeling like something other than Alderaan was missing._

_I'm not exactly sure what IS missing, just that SOMETHING is missing. I'm thinking it's because of Alderaan coming up in a few days, which brings me to the thought I had last night. Will Han and Chewie remember? I know Goldenrod (oh Gods, now he has me saying it) will remember and won't forget to remind me of the occasion, but will the nerfherder and his wookiee remember? It's a legitimate question, and I honestly don't know the answer. Maybe I'll ask Chewie later, but I don't think I have the nerve to ask Han._

_Speaking of Han, did you know that Corellia is very similar in appearance to Alderaan. When I was reading the book Han gave to me it occurred to me how similar the two planets are. I only visited Corellia once or twice when I was very young, so I really don't remember what it looks like, but from the pictures in the book, it looks almost exactly like the views I experienced during my childhood on Alderaan. I'm not sure if Han ever came to my planet like I did his though, since we really didn't have a thriving smuggling service._

_Anyway, I'm starved…so I had better go find something to eat._

* * *

><p>"Good morning Mistress Leia" said 3P0 as the Princess walked into the galley. "Is there anything I can do for you?"<p>

"No 3P0, I think I'm fine. Do you know where Han and Chewie are? They're normally in here drinking their Caf about now."

"I saw Chewbacca this morning working on the Navigation Computer, although I have not seen Captain Solo. Were you looking for him Mistress Leia? I could go and find him if you like."

"No, that's fine 3P0. He might still be sleeping and I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate being awoken by a droid."

"Why he is still asleep I will never know. Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior. Is there anything else?"

"No, that will be it. You can power down for a while if you like" Leia said through laughs at 3P0's human behavior comment.

"Alright then Mistress Leia. If you need anything I will be powered down in the back."

As 3P0 headed to go power down, Leia got herself a cup of Caf and proceeded to sit down with her book at the table. She had stayed up even after Han had left the cabin the night before, reading the book about his home planet. She never thought it would be so interesting, especially since it was a book Han suggested.

She didn't get very far before a very tired looking Han walked into the room. Leia looked up from her book and couldn't take her eyes away. He looked as if he had just gotten out of bed, his hair a complete mess. He wasn't wearing his belt, boots or socks, or more importantly, his shirt. Even in his current position, facing away from Leia, she could see the muscles in his back and arms, all perfectly formed.

Leia didn't even notice when Han turned around and gave her a funny look. She raked her eyes up his body to his face, where she found him smirking. "Like what you see Sweetheart?"

"I uh…ummm" Leia stuttered, not able to put any words in her mouth. Eventually, she met his eyes and her trance was broken. "Ye…I mean…where have you been this morning?"

"I was asleep until just now. We were up kinda late last night Princess."

"Yeah, I know. But remember, you still have to tell me about the 'interesting' Corellian music."

"I didn't forget Sweetheart. I'll teach you about it later."

"Alright, but I'm going to keep reminding you just in case."

Han leaned up against the counter and took a drink of his Caf as Leia returned to her book.

"Are you almost done with that? You were only half through last night!"

"Yeah, I read for a while after you left" Leia responding, trying to keep her attention on the book and not on the shirtless Han. "It's pretty interesting and I just couldn't put it down. I had to force myself to go to sleep."

"You sure are interested. I just told you about it to be funny. Didn't think you'd actually read it.

For a moment Leia was speechless, but she then responded, "Oh, well it really is interesting. Now if you have nothing else to do we should probably be getting to work."

Han paused, a bit angry at the walls once again surrounding Leia, "Yeah, I guess so. I'm going to be working in the main hold if you want to help."

"No, I think I'll go and finish cleaning the back hold. It really should be finished."

"Alright then, I'll see you later" Han said as he set down his mug and walked from the room, completely aware of the pair of eyes following him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/22/3902**_

_**See, this is what my thinking does to me…it gets me into tough situations like this one. How in the galaxy am I supposed to explain the interesting aspects of Cor-Pop to the Princess? It's not exactly the most tame music and I'm half expecting her to kill me when she figures it out. But honestly, there's no better way to explain the stupid stuff. Ok, it's not stupid…but I just don't want her angry at me again…**_

_**Any ideas? Of course not…how could you have ideas if I don't have any ideas. I guess I'm just going to have to go and take her into the galley and show her what Cor-Pop is and be done with it. Maybe she'll actually like it! She's seemed to like everything Corellian so far.**_

_**I'll just make a whole thing out of it…and if I am going to I'd better go find Chewie and get started.**_

* * *

><p>When Leia had finished cleaning for the day she headed back to the cabin, but was intrigued by a smell coming from the galley. Curious, she headed towards the smell, but was stopped just outside the door by a smuggler.<p>

"What's that smell Han? It's amazing."

"Nothing, nothing at all Princess. But you see, it's something special."

"You just said it was nothing, and what do you mean by something special?" Leia asked as she crossed her arms and gave Han a smirk.

"It's a surprise, but you can't find out what it is until it's done."

"I see."

"So here's what I want you to do. Go back to my cabin…I mean your cabin…and take a shower and put on something nice."

"Something nice like what Han? Did you forget I have no clothing of my own with me?"

"What, my clothes aren't nice?" he laughed. "I'm kidding. There's always that shall and stuff we found yesterday, you could wear that. And I'm sure you can figure out something to do with your hair."

"Alright Han. How much time do I have?"

"How about an hour and a half" he said. "Yeah, that will work. Have a nice shower Princess!" he said as she turned and walked back toward the cabin.

Han turned back into the galley. The pastries were done, the meatloaf in the oven and the drinks were in the chiller. Everything looked as if it were going to turn out right. Remembering he needed to tell Chewie about his plans, he headed towards the circuitry bay, where the Wookiee had been working for the past several hours.

"Hey Chewie, I need to let you in on my surprise for the Princess."

**[And what kind of surprise would that be Cub?]** the wookiee asked, continuing to work on the valve he was fixing.

"I'm planning a special dinner for her. I know the Alderaan thing is coming up in a couple days and I want to get her mind off of it. Plus, she asked about Cor-Pop last night and…"

Chewie turned to him and cut him off, **[Do you think that's really a good idea Cub?]**

"What?"

**[Cor-Pop. You know what that music is like…are you sure…]**

"Yes, I'm positive. Plus, she promised she wouldn't get all mad when I taught her about it. She was the one who asked, after all."

**[Alright then. So what is this about dinner?]**

"If you wouldn't mind, could you have something to snack on now and then eat some leftovers later. I kinda want it to be…"

**[Just the two of you?]** Chewie interrupted again.

"Yeah," Han put his arm to his neck and pretended to scratch it, "If it's ok with you I mean…"

**[That's fine cub, although I wish you had told me earlier. I would have had a bigger lunch or something. What else have you got planned?]**

"Well, we're going to eat and then…I don't know. I'll just go with the flow."

**[But you're going to dance with her?]**

"Yeah, that was kind of the idea."

Chewbacca turned from his work and faced Han, **[Cub, if I find her upset tomorrow I might just have to pull out your arms.]**

Han pretended to be worried, "Alrighty then, I might just have to be more careful than I thought." Both laughed, "But seriously, we're just dancing…nothing else."

**[Alright then Cub. You two have fun.]** He turned back to his work as Han began to move out the door, but Han stopped.

"Oh, and Chewie?"

**[Yes Cub?]**

"Could you keep 3P0 out of our way too? I don't want him to interrupt anything."

**[I suppose so. Now hurry up, I'm sure you have more to do before your date with the Princess.]**

"First off, thanks. And second, it's not a date" Han said before moving back towards the galley.

**[I hope he knows what he's doing.]**

* * *

><p>After taking a long shower Leia felt amazing. She was incredibly glad that Han took the time to have an actual water shower installed on the ship. He probably had it installed because he had a wookiee on board, and it was just easier for him to wash all his fur with real water versus the sonic showers the rest of the galaxy generally had.<p>

Once she had searched through the drawers of the dresser, Leia pulled out the clothes Han found the day before in the back hold. She looked them over and picked out a simple grey dress, the only one they had found, and the white shall.

After pulling the dress on over her head she found that it fit quite well. It was a bit lose, but it wasn't bad. Leia grabbed one of the belts she had been wearing and put it on tightly around her midsection, holding the dress to the shape of her body, and then sat down on the bed with the hairbrush she had found.

As Leia brushed through her hair, several thoughts went through her mind. The first was a natural thought…what was Han planning? Although he had done some strange stuff since she had met him, this was definitely the strangest. He normally was very forward, but now he was all secrets.

Maybe it had something to do with the Corellian music.

The second thought was a bit stranger. As the rhythmic strokes of the brush turned her tangled mess into a smoother mess, she imagined what it might be like to have Han brush her hair. Him sitting behind her, taking her hair into his hands and slowly brushing through the snarls.

She ended the thought as she decided to simply put her hair in a braid. She French braided it down the back of her head and ended it over her shoulder. Leia put the shall over on top the dress and looked at herself in the mirror.

It had been about an hour and a half at this point and she opened the door to find Han standing on the other side, about to knock. "Oh, Flyboy, I was just about to come find you."

"That's funny, I was just coming to see if you were ready."

"No kidding! Is that why you were outside my door?"

"Nah, I just like knocking for fun." They laughed together. "Anyway, you ready?"

"I just said that didn't I?"

"Yeah, I guess you did. Now come on," he said as he took her hand. "Now walk in front of me and cover your eyes.

"Why?"

"Because, it's a surprise. Now come on, close your eyes."

"You're such a child Han" Leia responded as she put her hands over her eyes. She felt Han's hands land on her shoulders, lightly gripping them and leading her.

"Where are we going Han?"

"The Galley, but that's all I'm telling you" he continued as they got closer to the room.

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"No, just a minute." He let go of her shoulders and told her to wait a moment. "Alright, you can open them now."

Leia opened her eyes to see the galley completely transformed. The table had been moved to the side, leaving a wide space in the middle. On it was a full meal, set for two, with a candle glowing in the middle. The room was darkened and Han stood holding a chair for her.

"This place looks amazing. Why did you do all of this?" she asked as she sat down and Han pushed the chair in.

He sat in the seat across from her, "I just wanted to do something nice."

"You…do something nice?" she laughed.

"Yeah, you don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you. I know you can be nice when you want to. So what's all this food?"

"So many questions Princess. This is a full Corellian meal."

"To go along with the Corellian music, right?"

"That's right Sweetheart." He pointed to the meat on her plate, "That's a Corellian Spice Loaf. It's not hard to make, but it's pretty popular on Corellia. Pretty much everyone has had it, on and off planet."

"I've never had it. Guess we didn't have any Corellian chefs on staff."

"Well all the better then, you get to try it tonight. The pastry is Ryshcate, which is a pastry Corellians generally make while off world to remember their heritage."

"So you've made it a lot?"

"Often enough. And finally we have some Hotcakes, which I'm sure you've had before."

"Yep, I've had those, although never quite like this. What's the drink?"

"My personal favorite, Corellian spiced ale. I picked the smoother kind for tonight, so it's not quite so rough."

"Thanks." They both began eating, eyeing one another between bites. "Han, you never asked me a question last night."

"What do you mean Sweetheart?"

"When we were talking last night I asked you a question and you were going to ask me one, because that's the rules of our question game, but you never did."

"I guess you're right. Let's see, what about this? When you were a kid, where was the one place you wanted to travel to?"

"Like, any place in the galaxy, or just in general?"

"Anywhere you think Sweetheart. Where did you want to go?"

"Well, when I was really young I always wanted to follow my father wherever he went. Because he was a senator he traveled a lot, so I just wanted to see what he did. As I got older I really just wanted to see the far reaches of the galaxy, like Tatooine. I've never been there."

"It's not much Princess" Han said as he took another bite of food. "It's just a lot of sand."

"So Luke has told me. But I still would like to see it someday. What about you?"

"I wanted to just be anywhere but where I was. It didn't matter where I would go, but anyplace was better than Shrike's ship. Once I got older and started flying a bit more I realized that I just liked the beautiful worlds, like Naboo. I've always wanted to see Naboo."

"It's a very beautiful planet. My family had a home there. It belonged to the former Queen Amidala, who was also a senator. My father was good friends with her, and I admired her."

"Did you ever meet her?"

"No, she died not long before I was adopted by the Organas, so I never knew her. I always thought she was so strong, so ready to be the best leader she could for her people. She was half the reason I got into politics in the first place."

"And then you beat her out for the youngest senator, right?"

"Yeah, I was only 16. She was older than that when she became Queen, and then senator afterwards."

"So wait, let me get this straight. You have no idea who your real parents might be?"

"No, nothing. My father always refused to let me know, although I'm sure my mother and father talked about it secretly. Once I heard them talking about it and I tried to listen, but I heard very little. All I know is that my birth mother is dead, she died giving birth to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's fine. I like talking about my family actually. Even before Alderaan I had already lost so much. Both my birth and adoptive mothers died and I had no idea who my real father was. But I learned to accept it."

The room was silent as they finished their food. When all of it was gone, Han stood and picked up their plates and brought them to the counter. When he came back he poured them both another glass of ale. "Ready to dance Princess?"

"Dance? I thought you were just going to tell me about the music!"

"Yeah, but this is a Corellian celebration…and it's not a celebration without dancing. Plus, no one else is around to see us. It's just you and me."

"What about.."

"3P0 is shut off and Chewie's in his cabin. Don't worry." Han pressed a button and started the music. "This first song is pretty classic. Come here" he pulled Leia closer, moved one of his arms to her back and held one of her small hands in the other. "Ready?"

Leia nodded and the two began to dance. "Han, this isn't Corellian, it's an Alderaanian Waltz!"

"I know Sweetheart, but the music is Corellian." The two continued to dance until the song ended, and it was replaced with a slower song. Han tugged Leia closer to him, so she was almost flush against his body."

"Han…"

"Don't talk, just dance." As the beat of the song moved gently, Leia grew softer in Han's arms. She wrapped her arms a bit tighter around the smuggler, prompting him to do the same, and she laid her head on his chest.

He whispered in her ear, "You look beautiful Leia."

"It's just that dress and shall we found in the hold yesterday, nothing more" she mumbled from his chest. She didn't hear whatever Han said next though, because she was completely immersed in the song. Eventually, it came to an end and she picked her head up off Han's chest.

"That was nice. But I don't see anything different about it from normal music. What's so 'interesting' about it?"

"That's not what I was talking about Princess. Cor-Pop is a very diff…"

"Cor-Pop?"

"Yeah, the music I'm going to teach you about here tonight."

"Ah, ok. So let's get going then. I'm very interested in finding out about this music."

He pressed another button on the console and the rhythm of the music changed completely. Unlike the previous song, this one was more upbeat. "Alright, there we go" he said as he grabbed Leia again and began to dance, this time faster.

"It certainly is interesting, but it's still similar to stuff I've heard before."

"Yes, but you don't know what the song means."

"What does it mean Han?"

"Well, some say it has to do with ancient fertility dances, or something like that."

"Is that so?" she asked, flashing a small smile.

"Yep, I promise you I'm not kidding."

"So what does this dance have to do with these fertility dances?"

"It's basically the same dance. Here, listen. You hear that, that's the introduction. Everyone's already naked and ready to get going."

"Alright then" Leia said slowly, forcing the words to come out.

"The beginning percussion, he's kissing his way down her neck, slowly, sensually" Han's voice grew deeper as he moved his head to the side of hers, his lips dangerously close to her neck. "Now he's moving lower…"

With each change in the music Han moved closer to her, his hands roaming over her body slowly, moving her with the music.

Sometime during the middle of the dance Han spun Leia so her back was against him, their arms entwined as they moved to the music. While continuing to dance in that way, Leia gasped as she felt Han's lips land on her shoulder, almost on her neck. He slowly moved up her neck, his pace matching the song.

As his kisses moved further up her neck, Leia couldn't wait any longer. She wanted to kiss him too, the way he was kissing her. She spun around and grabbed his head in her hands and brought his lips to hers.

The kiss was forceful, but didn't show any signs of stopping like previously. Lost in each other's embrace, they made their way towards the bench that had been pushed off to the side. Han sat first, and Leia moved on top of him, their kiss never breaking.


	7. Day: A Hangover

Day 7: A Hangover

When Han woke, it wasn't pleasant. His head was pounding and he had no idea where he was. It certainly wasn't in his bunk in the crew quarters, and not in his bunk in his cabin. Nope, he wasn't even in a bunk. Instead, he found himself on the bench in the galley. How he had ended up here, he didn't know.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the galley Han" came a voice that he recognized as Leia's. He hadn't even noticed her sitting on a nearby chair. "You slept here all night."

"Why would I be sleeping in here?"

"You don't remember anything, do you?"

"Of course I remember…that's why I'm asking what happened" he said sarcastically. "Of course I don't remember your Highness. How did I end up here in the galley with a hangover."

"It was all quite your fault actually."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. You see, you made me a Corellian dinner, and then decided to teach me about the origins of Cor-pop before sitting right there on the couch kissing until we passed out."

"Oh, I remember now. But quite frankly, I believe you were kissing me just as much as I was kissing you, so it can't be all my fault."

"But you got us drunk."

"We weren't drunk!"

"Then why is your head pounding?" Leia asked before the room turned silent.

"Your head hurting too Princess?"

"Worse than after the torture droids on the Death Star."

"They tortured you?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fine, fine" Han said as he slowly moved to a standing position. "Let's go see if we can find some medicine to help these hangovers."

He started out the door and Leia followed him, both walking in a way to try and prevent any further injury to their throbbing heads.

"I really didn't think we had that much to drink" Leia said as she rubbed her temples.

"Yeah, I didn't either. Corellian ale tends to be a bit stronger than some, but we only had a few glasses right?"

"I have no idea. I was too busy with something else to notice."

"You mean you were too busy with _someone_ else to notice."

"Shut up and get the medicine Han."

"Alright Your Highness. Didn't know you were so cranky with a hangover."

"Everyone is cranky when they have a hangover Flyboy."

"Yeah, don't get in Chewie's way when that happens…it's best to stay locked in your cabin." Leia gave a small laugh, but stopped immediately as her head continued to pound.

After rummaging through the med-cabinet for a few minutes Han pulled out a bottle of pills. "Here we go, this should do the trick. I suggest drinking a cup of Caf after you take some and then heading off for a nap."

"Yeah, because we have time for a nap."

"Princess, we're in the middle of nowhere going at Sublight speed, we have all the time in the galaxy."

"I suppose you're right." They walked together back to the galley and each took a few pills before Han poured them each a cup of Caf.

"So we were kissing last night?"

"Yeah, I guess we were."

"And did you like it?"

Leia stared at Han with all the strength she could manage in her current state. "If I say yes you're just going to be a jerk, but if I say no I'd be lying."

"So you liked it?"

"Ugh, like I said before, you're impossible!"

"What? It was a legitimate question Princess!"

"Yeah, well I don't have to answer it. I'm going to go take a nap. Unless you would like a goodbye kiss first or something" Leia said angrily.

"Well, if you're willing to kiss me I'm not going to say no."

"In your dreams flyboy" Leia said as she walked out of the room.

"You're the one who offered Sweetheart!" Han yelled after her.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_23th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_What am I supposed to answer when he asks me if I liked kissing him?_

_So the probable response would be no, I didn't, because that would get him off my back about it. But if I said no I'd also be lying. And as much as Han is frustrating, I'm pretty sure that I'd feel bad about lying to him…especially about something I really liked that came from him. But if I say yes that means I'm admitting to his ridiculous game. So what was I supposed to say?_

_I suppose I should start from the beginning though._

_Last night was very…interesting. Han decided to be all romantic or something and plan this whole special dinner for just the two of us so he could seduce me by teaching me a fertility dance thing from Corellia. I did some research just a few minutes ago about cor-pop and I guess he is right, but did he really have to go through all of that when he could have just told me about it? At least no one was around to see what was going on, especially Luke. I'd feel terrible if he saw something like that._

_Somewhere along the line we ended up drinking more than either of us wanted to and then Han started kissing me. At this point I was pretty drunk and my natural instincts were kicking in…to kiss him back. Yes, this is what I've wanted to do for several months now, but…ok, I'll be honest. I've wanted to kiss Han like that since the day after Yavin…anyway, so I began kissing him back, and it just got heavier and hotter until we somehow ended up on the bench. I'm not sure if Han just landed there and I followed or if I pushed him down and then followed. Either way, we were kissing._

_That kept going for a while, and honestly, I've never felt so amazing. It was like the entire world was made up of just me and Han, and nothing else mattered. It was a good feeling. Maybe that's what Han was trying to accomplish last night, getting my mind off of everything else. If that's what he was intending…it worked. That's for sure. Eventually we stopped and just sat on the bench. I think I ended up stopping it, because I didn't want to get into anything that I couldn't undo. But then we just sat there and I guess we fell asleep. I woke up back in my own bed though, so I guess Han moved me back without remembering to go to his own bed, and instead he went back to the galley and fell asleep._

_So what am I supposed to make of all this? Well, you won't know…because you're non-existent, so you won't be offering much help._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/23/3902**_

_**Well last night went better than planned. I guess I really just wanted to make a nice evening, but that turned into something different. I honestly had no idea what I was doing, so I suppose Chewie was right. All I could hope for was that she wouldn't get all mad at me, because that has seemed to happen a lot lately. I figured if she gets mad at me all the time normally, what will happen when I teach her a dance involving sex. That's just not going to work. She's for sure going to kill me.**_

_**But instead of cutting my life short, she instead danced for real with me…and then we kissed. Oh Gods, did we kiss. I'm always considered myself a good kisser, but that girl is already an amazing kisser. She's only been kissed a few times (from what I can understand) so it's not like she's had a lot of practice, other than the fact that most of said kisses were with me.**_

_**Anyway, tomorrow is the anniversary of Alderaan, and I'm feeling like we should do something special, but not too big. Probably just a small dinner with some Alderaanian food for the three of us (no, Goldenrod is not invited…he just makes her feel worse), and then a movie. I've already got one picked out. It was filmed on Alderaan, so I figure it will be a good experience. That's about it. And then I'll walk her back to her cabin and make sure she's going to be alright and that will be it.**_

_**When did I ever become the romantic one?**_

* * *

><p>When Leia walked into the main hold, she was happy to find Chewie working a few feet away in the circuitry bay. She felt like he was the only one that she could talk to on this bucket of bolts, so it's who she had to talk to.<p>

Normally, Luke would end up hearing her out on her healings with Han, and even though he was always incredibly jealous, he always sat quietly and listened as Leia took stabs at the smuggler. Chewie was different though. She wouldn't talk to Chewie about her anger with Han, but about her mixed feelings. He was the only one that understood Han completely, and it helped her to understand her feelings toward him.

"Chewie, could I talk to you?"

**[Of course Princess, just one minute though…let me finish working.]**

"That's fine. Take all the time you need" Leia said quietly as she moved back into the main hold and sat at the holo-chess table. It took Chewie a few moments to finish his work, but true to his word, he joined her a moment later.

**[What is it you want to talk about?]**

"It's Han. I'm just not sure where I stand, or we stand for that matter."

**[Well how do you feel about him?]**

"One minute I feel like I could kill him, and the next I just want to…to kiss him or something" she blushed at the thought of the night before.

**[And do you think Han knows where you stand?]**

"No, I don't think either of us knows, and that's why it's so awkward."

**[But you care about him?]**

"Well yes. I've always cared about him. I don't know if I always loved him but…"

**[But you love him now?]**

Leia seemed to turn the words over in her head, testing them out for size. "No…yes…maybe? Ugh, I don't know."

**[But the fact that you are asking yourself that question means that it could be a possibility.]**

"I suppose so."

**[Then what do you **_**want**_** to happen?]**

"Well, it wouldn't work out…with you and Han leaving to pay off…"

**[I didn't ask how it **_**was**_** happening, I asked how you wanted it to happen.]**

"Like, in the best case scenario?"

**[Exactly.]**

"I guess I'd want us to be together."

**[There you go then.]**

"So that means I love him?"

**[That is a question only you can answer for yourself Princess.]**

* * *

><p><strong>[Cub, I want to talk to you.]<strong>

The pilot was sitting in the Engineering Bay at the back of the ship, working on the hyperdrive to see what exactly what was wrong. They couldn't fix it now, but at least he could figure out what was wrong with the thing. "What Chewie?" Han said impatiently, as he tried to take apart the drive.

**[Leia talked to me this morning.]**

"Yeah? So?"

**[You tell me.]**

"What? Was she mad?"

**[I wouldn't say that she was mad…more like confused.]**

"Well I'm sure as heck confused too. What'd you tell her?"

**[I told her to trust her feelings.]**

"Sounds like a wookiee's answer."

**[Cub...]** Chewie started.

"Look" Han said in a matter-of-fact tone as he stopped his work and turned to the Wookiee, "I'm not sure what I'm doing here. You know I've never done this kind of thing before."

**[And what about…]**

"Don't even say her name!" Han pointed a finger at his co-pilot. "I told you a long time ago I don't want to talk about it."

**[I was just going to say that you're afraid that your relationship with the Princess will end up the same way.]**

"And what if I am afraid? Plus, it should be her that's afraid of ME leaving. Not the other way around."

**[But you are afraid of it because you don't want to leave, but you have to. You don't want to put Leia through the same situation you were in.]**

"Well it's not like I have a choice."

**[You may not have a choice in your fate, but you have a choice in your relationship with Leia.]**

"Oh, is this some force talk again? You've been hang'n around the Kid too much."

**[Han, you know my feelings toward the force.]**

He turned back to his work as he spoke, "Yeah, yeah. It's some magical being out there controlling all of our lives and you were buds with some Jedi, so you believe in it."

**[Us meeting Obi-Wan in that cantina was not by chance. We were meant to shuttle them to the death star. We were meant to rescue the Princess…]**

"So what, I'm 'meant' to fall in love with her or something? Does the force want us together? Is that what you're saying?"

**[I cannot answer that question Han. The force guides others, and every decision guides the force.]**

"So I'm supposed to just stroll in on the Princess, tell her I love her and we will live happily ever after?"

**[I didn't say that Cub…]**

"But you're implying it!" There was a pause before Han spoke again. "Wait, what did the Princess tell you earlier exactly?"

**[She said she was confused about where you stood.]**

"As in me or us?"

**[The both of you. She wants to be with you Han, but she's afraid that when you return her to the alliance you will leave forever and leave her all alone. We both know that Luke could be dead…his fighter was shot down. She would have no one left.]**

"Don't you think I know that? It's not like I want to leave!"

**[We already discussed this Cub.]**

"I know, I know. So you're saying that I should help her understand that I don't want to leave, but I have to, and that we should make the most of the time we have left together?"

**[Yes, although I'm not sure I'd put it that way exactly.]**

"Well then, if you can come up with something better why don't you?"

**[Han, this is something you have to do for yourself.]**

"Yeah, I'll figure it out."

**[I know you really care about her…don't screw this up.]**

"I won't."

* * *

><p>Han hesitated as he knocked on the door to his cabin…her cabin…to find the Princess. He wasn't sure what might be behind that door. Certainly he hoped she would be open to the next day, and to him.<p>

Leia opened the door slowly, and just a crack. He could see from the small sliver open that she had just come out of the fresher. A white towel was wrapped around her body and her long hair fell in tangles on her shoulders. "What Han?"

"I was just wondering if…could we talk?"

Leia looked at Han in a funny way, but opened the door a bit more. "Sure, let me just finish changing. You can wait in here if you want. I'll just be a minute."

Han slowly moved into the room after her, and she picked up a pile of clothes and headed into the fresher on the other side of the room. Even in the few days she had been here, he could tell a difference in the room. It smelled different, looked different, it even felt different.

The clothing generally scattered around the room was gone, and his desk was cleaner. The room smelled more like…Leia…than the regular grease, and it felt as if there was a mix of both of them in the room.

Han was shuffling through the books on his desk when Leia reappeared, wearing a pair of Han's old fighter pants and one of his smaller shirts. "Oh, sorry if I messed your stuff up. I was bored, so I cleaned up a little."

"No, no. It's fine. It's been a mess in here for a while."

"Actually, when I walked in here for the first time, I was surprised at how clean it was."

"You're saying that I like messes?"

"No, just that it's cleaner than my room ever was."

"I don't know, you're room was pretty clean when I saw it."

"Yeah, but I was never in it to mess it up!" They both laughed at Leia's comment. "So what do you want Flyboy?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. I don't want to leave things the way we did earlier."

"Chewie told you we talked didn't he?"

"He may have mentioned it" Han said as he sat in the chair. "So?"

"I'm going to have to have another talk with that Wookiee…and he might want to watch his arms."

Han laughed, "That's funny Princess. I feel bad for Chewie now!"

"Yeah, he had better watch his back!"

As the laughing grew quieter, so did the room, neither person speaking. Han eventually spoke up, "Listen Princess, I just wanted to run something by you."

Leia sat on the bed, facing Han, "Alright. What've you got?"

"Well tomorrow is…"

"The third anniversary of the destruction of Alderaan."

"Yeah…so I was thinking we could plan something special."

"It's not a day to celebrate you know."

"No, but I'm not wanting to celebrate the destruction. Listen, we were celebrating Kashyyyk and Corellia a few days ago, so why not celebrate Alderaan?"

"I suppose that would alright. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, we would take the entire day off of work. It's not like we don't have time to sit and do nothing anyway."

"That's true."

"So we can sleep in if we want, and then we'll have a light breakfast."

"Sounds good so far."

"Then we can spend the day just having fun, until a while before dinner. I figure we'll eat Alderaanian food, just like we ate Corellian."

"I don't cook Han."

"I never said you have to cook Sweetheart. I know a few Alderaanian recipes myself…plus, I'm sure there's a few stored in the Falcon."

"The Falcon has a recipe system?"

"Yeah, I've stored a bunch of stuff in the system over the years, especially recipes. When you live with a wookiee you need to have a lot of them…unless you want the wookiee to cook."

"Noted."

"Anyway, so we'll have a dinner, just the three of us. You, me and Chewie."

"No 3P0?"

"I figured we would shut him off for the day."

"Good."

"I thought you supported Goldenrod?"

"I hate him just as much as you Han. He has his moments, but he never forgets to remind me several times of the anniversary of the destruction. He certainly doesn't understand human behavior." This comment brought out another laugh from the pair. "And then?"

"We'll watch a holo. I've already got one picked out."

"What is it?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out Princess."

"Whatever. So that's it then?"

"Yep, then we'll go to bed."

"Alright, it sounds like an ok day. I just have one question though."

"Ask away Sweetheart."

"Why are you putting so much time into this?"

Han stood and made to leave, but turned to face her to answer her question. "Because I want you to remember the good things in life, not just the bad things."


	8. Day 8: Alderaan

Day 8: Alderaan

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_24th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_This is it. It's today. Three years ago today my entire life was taken away from me. Three years ago I lost my father, my friends and everything I knew. Three years ago today…Alderaan was no more._

_According to Han though, three years ago today my life changed not only for the worse, but for the better. He says that today we're going to have some sort of special day for the three of us (Goldenrod isn't invited…he won't even be turned on) and that we're going to celebrate all of the good things that have happened in the last three years._

_I suppose he is somewhat right, considering it was three years ago today that I met a farmboy, a scoundrel and a Wookiee. I'm not sure what my life would be like without them anymore. It's kinda like I'm so used to having them be a part of my life that I can no longer imagine my life without them. And so, I will now make a short list of the good things about our little group._

_First, Luke, the farmboy from Tatooine. Honestly, when we first met there was something about him, but maybe I was just so caught up in the rescue. When I thought about it later, I realized that Luke wasn't just that kid that rescued me from the death star. No, Luke was my best friend. After Alderaan, he…understood. He lost his family too, his aunt and uncle killed by the Imperials just as my family on Alderaan. We comforted each other in a way only those who have lost can, and that's probably why our relationship is so strong now. On the other hand, I don't think I could ever see myself with Luke. I know he likes me, probably still does if he's alive, but I don't see him the same way I see Han. It's just…different._

_And then Chewie. When I was younger, I never imagined meeting a Wookiee, much less being friends with one. My father told me once about the Clone Wars, and how the Wookiees bravely defended their home planet of Kashyyyk. I was amazed at the raw size and power of the creatures, although I never wanted to see one in real life. I still remember the first thing I really said to Chewie…"Would someone get this giant walking carpet out of my way?"…Chewie and I laugh about it now, considering how close we have become. I really enjoy his company, because I know that whenever I just need to talk about something, even if it has nothing to do with Luke or Han, I can go to Chewie, and he will listen and help me get through whatever it is I'm dealing with._

_Finally…Han. A smuggler, scoundrel, pilot and amazing friend. Yes, we have our constant ups and downs, but then there are those times when he is really a sweet person. He doesn't like his soft side to show, but when it does, it feels like nothing else in the galaxy matters. Originally, when I was dealing with the destruction of Alderaan, he would find me in my quarters, trying to drink myself to death. He would comfort me until I calmed down enough to go to sleep, and eventually, it became a nightly thing. I wouldn't have to worry, because he was always there, and in the morning, he was always gone. I can't say I didn't want him to stay, because on many of those mornings there was nothing I wanted to do more than to wake up in his arms, securely around me…keeping me from harm. But more than anything, I never thought that the Princess would end up falling in love with the scoundrel._

* * *

><p>"Morning Sweetheart" Han said as Leia walked into the galley. "Did you sleep well?"<p>

"Yeah, not as well as the other night, but well enough."

"That's good. You all ready for today?"

"I suppose so, but I'm still not sure why you're putting so much time and thought into this."

"I just want to make sure you remember the good stuff too," Han said as he stood up and went to stand next to her. "You shouldn't just think of today as a day of grief, it should be a day of celebration too, for all of the great things that have happened in your life."

"You mean like meeting you?"

"Well sure, if that's how you want to look at it, I won't object" he said with a smile, "but you can't forget about Luke and Chewie either."

"Yeah, Luke who might be dead right now" she said, turning away from him.

"Hey, you don't know that."

"His speeder crashed right before we left the command center Han! There a really good chance he's dead. 3P0 said the odds are..."

"Hey, remember. Never tell me the odds."

Leia turned back to him, "but what if this time he doesn't beat the odds? You know that you beat them back on Hoth, and I was able to see you both alive again. And then we beat the odds going through that asteroid field. We can't beat the odds every time."

"I don't care about the odds Princess. All I know is that when we get back to the alliance Luke is going to be there waiting for us."

"And then you'll leave."

Han was silent for a moment, not sure how to respond. "Well, we'll worry about that when we get to it, for now, let's get started on lunch."

Leia paused, part of her wanting to continue the conversation and part of her wanting to drop it. She did drop it, and asked what they were eating.

"Well Sweetheart I figure we'll have some Daggert Steaks and then…"

"I thought today was all about Alderaan? Daggert Steaks are…"

"From Naboo. I know. But you did tell me how you had a vacation home on Naboo, and I figured that since I happened to find some of the steaks in the freezer that it would be a good idea for lunch. I promise there's going to be plenty of Alderannian food at dinner tonight."

"Alright, if you say so. What else are we having?"

"Chewie said he would like to make some Wasaka-berry pudding. I told him we'd have it for lunch. He made it this morning I think."

"What exactly is a wasaka-berry?"

"It's well, a berry, from Kashyyyk. We generally keep some stuff from Kashyyyk around here for obvious reasons."

"And where did you get the daggert steaks?"

"Those things are easier to find than you might think Princess. I usually pick up some food of my own when I go on supply runs."

"Han, how is that fair to the alliance?"

"Remember, I'm not technically a member of the alliance. But anyways, I always share the majority of it. I got the Daggert Steaks for a meal I was going to have with you and Luke anyway. I picked them up on my last supply run, which just happened to run me through Naboo."

"I see. So is that all we're having?"

"Yeah, I've got some other fresh fruit we can eat with it too."

"That sounds good. Wait…aren't we supposed to be eating rations?"

"Yeah, but I figure today is special. We have a little extra anyway, so I figure we'll be fine."

"If you say so. Do we have to start making the food?"

"Yeah, I suppose we could" Han said while moving towards the counter. Leia didn't move. "Well come on and help me your Worship. This meal isn't going to cook itself!"

"Han, I told you I'm not a good cook!"

"Well you're helping either way."

"No I'm not!"

Han moved over and picked Leia up from her seat on the bench, his arms looping around under her knees and shoulders. "Yes you are Princess!" He walked back over to the counter as Leia struggled playfully to get out of his arms.

"Han, let me go!"

"No, you're helping cook. I'm only going to let you down if you promise to help."

"Fine, I'll help…but don't say I didn't warn you!" Han dropped the Princess slowly to her feet. "So what is it you want me to try and do here?"

"We start by getting out everything we need."

"And what exactly do we need?"

"Well for starters…"

* * *

><p><strong>[That was delicious Princess.]<strong>

"Han, did you tell Chewie I made this?"

"I may have mentioned it your Worship."

Leia turned back to the Wookiee, "I had nothing to do with it. It was all your captain here."

"No, you helped!"

**[I don't care who made it]** Chewie interrupted the playful argument, **[I just wanted to point out that it was delicious!]**

"Yeah, it was pretty good huh Pal?" Han said, "What do you think Sweetheart?"

"I have to say," she said, finishing the last few bites of her meal, "that even considering I helped in the preparation of it, it's pretty good."

"I'd say more than pretty good."

"Whatever Nerfherder."

**[You two seem to be getting along.]**

"Yeah, I guess we are, aren't we Sweetheart?"

"I suppose so. I want to thank you though, the both of you, for being here for me today. A couple years ago I felt like my life had ended and I didn't know…"

"Hey," Han silenced her, "Let's not talk about that."

"Seriously though, I'm really grateful."

**[It's no problem Princess. We know how hard it can be to lose so much.]**

"Yeah, but Chewie, remember today was supposed to be about the good stuff, not the bad stuff" Han argued.

"Han, it's about both! Just because I tried to kill myself the other day because of all this doesn't mean I can't talk about it!"

"I'm sorry, I just…"

"No Han, you need to listen" Leia said angrily as she stood up, her finger pointed in the pilot's face. "Everyone thinks that they can't talk about it around me. That if the subject of Alderaan comes up I'm going to cry myself to death or something. But no, that's not how I feel, at least not anymore. Maybe at first I felt that way, but now I'd do anything to just sit and talk about Alderaan. I don't need a bunch of people just wallowing around me pretending to care. I don't need that, I need…"

"I'm not pretending to care Leia" Han spoke quietly as she continued to ramble on.

"…to think just…wait, what did you say?"

"I said I'm not pretending to care."

"Then why do you avoid talking about the destruction of Alderaan? I need to remember the good stuff, sure. But I can't change the past. I need to remember what happened on that day just as much as I need to remember the amazing moments I've had, all the brilliant people I've met. So why are you avoiding it?"

Han was silent, as if unsure what to say.

"That's what I thought. I'm going to my cabin" Leia said as she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

**[You had to go there didn't you Cub?]**

"You're the one that cursed it by saying how well we were getting along!"

**[I had nothing to do with it.]**

He shook his head and got up from the bench, but paused before walking out of the galley. "You were right Chewie…I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_24th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I feel as if I say this a lot, but I can't believe that man!_

_One minute we're getting along perfectly well, and before that we were actually acting like friends…more than just friends actually, and the next I can't stand to even know him! Even though it's Han, I never thought he would treat me this way…like I can't even hear the name of my planet that was destroyed without bursting into tears. Sure, maybe two or three years ago, right after it happened, but now…not so much._

_It annoys me much more to see people try and avoid the subject just to "protect me" or something, because I'm not some kid. Yeah, I lost my family, friends and life, but that doesn't mean I'm weak. I'm just as strong as I've ever been._

_So why is that man treating me as if I can't handle anything? I certainly can't figure it out._

_Ugh…I just want to go back to the way we were earlier today, when we were happily making lunch together. Then he had to go and insist that this entire day was dedicated to the good things in life. But he just doesn't understand…maybe there are times when I wish I could forget the past, good and bad, but that's never going to happen. Today isn't a day of mourning or celebration. I just want it to be the same as any other day._

* * *

><p>Leia was sitting on the floor, her back against the side of the bed when a rapping came from the door. She had been asleep, or as much as one could be while sitting in an upright position, and the sound caused her to jump.<p>

"Leia, are you awake? I was wondering if you wanted to help make dinner."

She rubbed her eyes, trying to wipe away sleepiness from them. "Yeah, I suppose. I'll be out in a minute. You go get started."

"Alright. I'll be in the galley." She could hear his footsteps as he walked away from the cabin door and down the hall, growing fainter until she heard nothing.

"Great, just what I need…more cooking" she mumbled to herself as she pulled on some fresh clothes and checked her hair in the mirror. After deciding it looked fine, she headed out into the hall and towards the galley. She could hear the clank of a pan as it hit the small range and she rounded the corner and stopped in the doorway, leaning up against the frame.

"Who would have thought Han Solo could cook?"

He turned to the source of her voice and smiled, "I thought we discussed this before Sweetheart."

"Yeah," she laughed, "I guess we did. So what are we making now?"

"Alderaanian stew and flatbread."

"That sounds pretty good."

"I figured."

Leia moved to stand next to him, "You figured what Flyboy."

"That you'd like Alderaanian food."

"Nah, it's not like I grew up there or anything."

"Really, 'cause I could have sworn…"

"No swearing nerfherder. How do I make this stuff?"

"Let's see…for the stew we'll need to cut up this nerf"

"Funny, a nerfherder eating nerf meat."

"Yeah, very funny Your Worship."

"It is! I just use the knife and chop it up right?"

"That's generally what you do when you cut things Princess."

"Sorry, sorry" she rose her hands up, "I told you I'm knew at this stuff." She grabbed the knife from on the counter near Han and went to work.

"Wait, wait, let me show you." Leia stepped aside to let Han have room, but he motioned her back. He stood so her back was to him and he wrapped his arms around her, taking her hands in his own and showing her how to cut the steak. "Like this."

"What's so different from cutting anything else?"

"It…ah…keeps the flavor in."

"Sure Han, whatever you say."

* * *

><p>About an hour later Han, Leia and Chewie once again were sitting around the table in the galley, ready to eat.<p>

"Wait just a second, I've got something else" Han said, jumping up from the table and heading quickly out of the galley. He was back in a few moments, with his hands behind his back.

"What are you doing Flyboy?"

"Oh nothing. I just thought that a special dinner like this could use a special drink."

"Oh no, not more Corellian ale!" Leia whined.

"No, no, not more Corellian ale. It's something you'll enjoy much more."

"Well what is it?"

"Close your eyes."

"Not this again!"

**[Just close your eyes Princess…trust me. It will be worth it.]**

Reluctantly Leia closed her eyes. "No peeking Princess" Han said as she heard the pop of a cork.

"Alright, open them."

Leia quickly opened her eyes to find a bottle of wine sitting on the table in front of her. "Han, is that…"

"Alderranian wine? You bet it is."

"But…where did you…"

"I found it a while back. I remember wanting to sell it, but when I met you three years ago I decided to keep it."

"Really? You kept it for me?"

"Of course…only the best for my Princess."

"Your Princess?"

"I mean…you. Only the best for you" Han stuttered.

**[Enough with the tense feelings…pour the stuff already!]** Chewie said impatiently from the other side of the table. His words were enough to break the trance between Han and Leia. The wine was poured and dinner began.

"This is amazing Han. I'm not sure if I'll ever have this stuff again" Leia said after a few sips of her wine.

"Don't worry about that Princess…I've got a few more bottles in the back. But they are only for special occasions."

The room grew silent as the three ate. "Hey, Your Worship" Han finally spoke, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier. I know I shouldn't expect that you don't want to talk about Alderaan."

"It's fine Han" Leia returned plainly before continuing to eat her meal.

**[Princess, why don't you tell us a little bit about Alderaan. I was only there once, so I really don't remember much about it.]**

"Well" Leia started, "Alderaan was a beautiful planet. It had basically every type of environment you could imagine."

"You mean like forests, mountains, beaches…"

"Yeah. I remember when I was a kid my dad would take me to the beach a few times each year, even though my aunts would always throw a fit."

"You had aunts?"

"Yes," Leia sighed, setting her fork down and taking another drink of wine before continuing, "I had three. They were always dolling me up, even though I hated it…and my father knew. I understand a little more now that it was because of my royal status and my position in the senate, but I still hated it." She laughed, "You know the way I was wearing my hair the day you rescued me from the death star?"

"Yeah, the buns."

"Yep, those. That was their favorite hairstyle for me. I even went as far as cutting my hair once to get them off my back about that style, but they made me wear a wig when I argued that I didn't need earmuffs in the summer."

The trio laughed together. **[And did your father approve of their treatment of you?]**

"Somewhat. He didn't like how they were constantly trying to make me perfect and get rid of my personality to make me a 'proper princess', but he also wanted me to have the best education, and for me to look and act like a Princess at all social functions."

"I'm assuming all that schooling didn't help?"

"Not really," she laughed again, "Once I ran in on Tarkin and my father during an important meeting. Let's just say Tarkin and I didn't exactly start off on the right foot."

"Who could start off on the right foot with that man?" Han retorted.

**[What about your mother?]**

"My mother died when I was quite young. All I really had to remember her by was a few pictures, and the faint memories from my early childhood. Most of my belongings were destroyed with Alderaan, although I still have a few with the Alliance and some on Naboo. Speaking of that…when would you like to finish cleaning out that cabinet of yours?"

Leia turned back to her food as Han answered, "I'm not sure Sweetheart. Whenever you feel like I guess. Unless I'm in the middle of somethin' important, I'm free any time."

**[We're still watching that holo tonight right?]**

"Yeah Chewie, don't worry…you'll get your nap."

**[Hey, who said I wanted to watch a holo to take a nap!]** Leia snickered as she struggled to keep her food in her mouth. **[Maybe I actually want to watch it this time!]**

"Yeah, you go with that pal."

Leia had finally swallowed her food, "What are we watching?"

"We're watching Vici of Alderaan."

"I haven't seen that holo in ages! Where did you find a copy?"

"Remember Princess, I've got lots of secrets that can be found on this ship."

* * *

><p>To Leia, the holofilm was a classic. Vici of Alderaan was a popular movie that showcased the lives of Vici and Veni Ramunee. The two characters were ancient Jedi from Alderaan, both very famous, and in this particular action thriller, they used the force to aid them in fighting off rather large reptiles.<p>

When they sat down after washing the dishes from dinner, Chewie moved to his chair, while Leia settled in on the bench. Han sat next to her, maybe a little closer than she would have liked.

After a few minutes of the holo, Leia suddenly found herself nestled against Han with his arm settled protectively around her. She had her head against his upper chest, near his left shoulder, and his head rested lightly atop hers. She had no idea how she had gotten there, but she made no motion to move.

Not even a quarter of the way through the film, Han whispered in Leia's ear, "I think Chewie's out already."

Leia kept herself from laughing, but lightly nodded her head to tell Han she had heard. She pressed herself closer against Han, the warmth of his body making her tired. The light of the holoprojector slowly faded away until…

"Sweetheart, wake up."

"Wha…What?" she said sleepily.

"The holo's over…time to get up."

Leia opened her eyes. She found herself still laying against Han, although her head had moved from his chest down to sit in his lap. She looked up to see Han staring down at her. When the realization of where she was set in, she sat up quickly. "Sorry, I was just…"

"Sleeping? It's fine."

"It's just…I was…"

"Leia, seriously, it's fine."

"Oh, well, I suppose I'll go to bed then."

"Yeah, me too."

Leia stood and headed to go back to her cabin, but stopped and slowly turned around. "Thanks Han, for today, for the past three years, for everything."

Instead of finding Han still on the bench like she figured, she found him standing right next to her. "It's my pleasure Princess. Come on, I'll walk you back to your room."

She gave a light laugh, "What?"

"I said…come on, I'll walk you back to your cabin."

"Han, it's just down…"

"Just walk Princess."

Leia started out ahead of him, but found quickly that her hand was enclosed in his. When they reached the cabin she stopped and turned to face him. "I guess this is goodnight then."

"You're going to be ok, right? No more suicide attempts?"

"No, not tonight at least," she laughed.

"Good. Alright, sweet dre…" Han was cut off by a kiss from the Princess. When she pulled back he finished his sentence, "…dreams."

"Goodnight Han" she responded before giving him one more quick peck on the cheek and heading into the cabin, the door sliding shut behind her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/24/3902**_

_**That went much better than expected.**_

_**When I first decided to do this little 'Alderaan Celebration' I figured I had better just sign away the falcon to Chewie and be ready for death, but I think she actually enjoyed it.**_

_**Ok, there was that little…mishap….earlier during the day, but I'm going to get that figured out, I'm sure of it. If there is something that bothers Leia, I want to know about it…especially something involving Alderaan. After her last suicide attempt something…changed. If I was looking out for her before, I feel like her personal bodyguard now. Just seeing her ready to take her life really affected me. I don't know why, but it did.**_

_**Maybe it's because my entire attitude towards her has changed…for the better I suppose. When we left Hoth just a few days ago I still wasn't sure about it, but now, it's completely different. Instead of wanting to leave, needing to leave to pay Jabba, I suddenly want to come up with some excuse to stay, to hope that everything will work out, and she won't have to face another attempt like that without me there to catch her.**_

_**Then again, we still have 32 days to go…**_


	9. Day 9: The Want to Believe

Day 9: The Want to Believe

"Han, we need to talk," Leia said as she rushed into the engineering bay, where the pilot had been working throughout the morning. He let go of the pipe he was trying to tighten and moved towards her.

"And what would that be Sweetheart?" he asked before pulling her into a kiss. At first, Leia seemed to respond in a good way, slightly deepening it, but quickly pulled away.

"Us" she said sternly.

"What do you mean by 'Us'?"

"I mean you and me."

"Yeah, and?" he asked, trying to kiss her again.

"This is all a mistake."

Han stopped short of kissing her, "What?"

"We can't keep doing this!"

"Hey," Han asked, "What's gotten in to you?"

Leia pulled out of his lose embrace and turned to walk a few feet away. She turned back, "I can't keep pretending that this isn't going to end when we get to the Alliance, or to Bespin or wherever! I just can't anymore!"

"Who said it was going to end?"

"What are you talking about?" she turned away angrily. He came up behind her and stood nearby, looking at her, but he was silent. "Han, you're going to leave! You have to pay off Jabba…and we'll…we'll never see each other again. I can't do this!"

"Leia, it's not like I want to leave! I have to leave. If I stay around longer I'll just be caught by a bounty hunter and then you'll never see me again for sure! I'll be dead!"

With those words, Leia turned around, tears forming in her eyes, "Then that's just it isn't it…I'm going to lose you either way. And that's why we can't be together now."

"Why do you keep fighting it Leia?"

"Why do I keep fighting what Han?" she said as the tears began to fall.

"Why do you keep fighting against what we have now?"

"I'm not fighting! I'm being practical!"

"Practical isn't always better Sweetheart," Han joked as he put his hands on her shoulders. He ran his hands down her arms as he knelt on the floor beside her, looking up.

"But it's the truth isn't it? This isn't worth it…maybe we have time now, but you're going to be taken away, and I'll be left alone again."

"You were never alone."

"Yes I was!" she said, moving away from him again. "What do you call that after Alderaan? You think I wasn't alone? No one understood! No one else lost an entire planet…it was just me!"

"That's where you're wrong. You just can't see past the grief can you? Is that what brought it on? Yesterday? The Alderaan thing?"

"No" she said sternly, but then her voice became unsure, "Maybe? I don't know." Han stood facing her, silent. "I just don't know what to think anymore Han. I feel like everything in my life is going to be ripped away from me one way or another. My entire family was destroyed, my planet ripped from my finger tips. Luke could already be dead, probably is, and you and Chewie could be taken at any moment."

"Then why don't you make most of what you have now? Why do you keep denying yourself?"

"Because even if I live in the moment, I live in the fear of it being taken away. That's why we can't be together…ever…because I'm just a danger to you. As long as you're with me you have a chance of being taken away. It's what happens to everything I love."

"You know that's not true."

"Then why did they destroy Alderaan? Of all the planets in the entire galaxy, they pick mine? It's because I was there Han!"

"It could have been any of thousands of reasons, but it wasn't because you were there Princess."

"And how do you know?"

"I don't but…"

"I didn't think so" she answered back as she turned and walked of the room.

Han wasn't far behind her as she walked down the hall back towards her cabin, "Wait, Leia…"

Suddenly, she stood and turned around to face him, "What."

"I don't care how much time I have with you…I just want to make the most of the time we do have. Don't you wish you could have one more day on Alderaan? Just one?"

"Well, I suppose so, but…"

"I just don't understand why you don't make the most of the time we have left?"

"Because you're still going to leave, and if we do this now it's just going to hurt more when you do and…"

"Leia, I would NEVER do anything to hurt you."

"Then why are you hurting me now Han? We both know what's going to happen, so why do you make it sound like there's hope for us, when it's obvious that there isn't."

"Because maybe I need something to believe in."

"What are you talking about?"

"There sure as heck isn't a lot to believe in right now Leia. I don't believe in my living, it's awful hard to believe in the defeat of the Empire, I can't believe in a future for myself. Sith, I can't even believe in getting to Bespin! So I need something to believe in Leia, and I want that something to be us."

"Well what if I can't believe in that?"

"Kreth Leia!" Han yelled, spinning around and moving a few paces before turning around. "Why can't you believe? Why WON'T you believe in us? I know how you feel! It's obvious now, the way we've been acting since we left that damned asteroid! So why do you keep denying it?"

"I already told you that Han."

"Then what can I do to make you believe?"

"Nothing Han. Nothing" Leia said calmly, standing completely still as she looked at him.

"Well then I guess every battle is lost then" he said angrily before spinning on his heel and walking back to the bay.

Leia, still standing in the hall, quietly whispered to herself, "There's nothing you can do to make me believe Han…but it doesn't mean I don't want to believe."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/25/3902**_

_**What have you gotten yourself into Solo?**_

_**I just don't get it! One minute she acts as if she wants this to happen, as if it is happening, and the next she is completely distant. Maybe it just goes to show me that the last three years HAVE been a complete waste of my time. I could have already paid off Jabba, I could be back in my old lifestyle…a women in my bed every night. Chewie could be with his family, and we would all be happy. But no, I decided to turn the Falcon around and save that kid so I could be with the girl. Why was I such an idiot?**_

_**Of course now I'm in this way to deep to even get out without hurting her, not to mention myself. I admit it…maybe not to her or to Chewie or anyone in the entire galaxy, but I love her…there's no doubt in my mind. I've waited three years for her to show me something that tells me she loves me too, but it's obvious now that she doesn't…or at least she's forcing herself not to.**_

_**But because I'm in this now, I'm going to have to find a way to break down the walls and make her believe, even if it's the last thing I do.**_

* * *

><p>"Mistress Leia?" 3P0 knocked at the door.<p>

Of the three other passengers currently residing on the falcon, 3P0 was not the one Leia wanted to see. In fact, she wasn't really sure if she wanted to see Han or Chewie more, but since things were tense, and she knew the droid wasn't going to leave her alone, she opened the door.

"What 3P0?"

"I just want to make sure you are alright. You seemed rather upset this morning."

"No, everything's fine."

"If I may, you don't seem fine. I could hear your argument with Captain Solo from the other side of the ship."

"Well good for you and your acute hearing." The droid seemed taken aback by her comment, not used to such harsh words from the Princess. "Now if there is nothing else you need from me, you can leave."

"But Mistress Leia, it is my duty to make sure…"

"I don't care 3P0…you wouldn't understand anyway."

"You are correct, I am not quite familiar with human relationships, but there is something else I would like to share with you."

"And what would that be?"

"When I was working with Chewbacca yesterday, I tapped into the Falcon's computer, and since I am fluent in over 6…"

"…6 million forms of communication. I get it, you can talk to ships and stuff. Now what do you want to tell me?"

3P0 paused for a minute before continuing, "I found some rather interesting records in the Millennium Falcon's computer system. It seems that Captain Solo has been keeping a journal for several years within the record log."

This got Leia's attention, "…AND?"

"I was quite surprised to find that many of the entries are focused around you Mistress Leia. I found it rather odd that…"

Leia didn't even hear his next words, because her mind had drifted off to her own journal. "He keeps a journal about me?" she interrupted 3P0, not even knowing if he had been speaking.

"Why yes Mistress Leia. Would you like me to recite some of the entries? I found them rather interesting, so I copied them to my memory system."

"When was the first entry?"

"Right around the time we were situated on the fourth moon of Yavin I believe."

"What did the first one say?"

Leia moved to a more comfortable position as the droid began to repeat the earliest entry…

"_Well, I never thought Han Solo would be writing a journal, but here I am, sitting in the cockpit writing this._

_I suppose the majority of the reason I'm writing this is to get all of these thoughts out of my head. I heard this kind of thing can be good for you, so I figured why not? I'm bored out of my head anyway!_

_I'm currently located on Yavin 4. It's a beautiful moon, I have to say, compete with a warm climate, something that you can't find just anywhere, but the real question comes next, 'How did I get here?'_

_That's a long story, but here's the short version. I'm sitting on Tatooine with a girl, all happy and ready to get a room when Chewie comes over and interrupts me. Says something about a 'Big Break' and forces me away from the girl. I get to this table where an old guy and a kid are sitting. They want passage to Alderaan, to return some stupid droids or something, and say they're going to pay 17 thousand. This is more than enough to pay Jabba back, so I figure we'll take them. We're on our way to Alderaan, and the old guy gets kinda creepy. He was all into that Jedi stuff. When we get to Alderaan, it's not there…just a field of space dust, but we get caught by this space station that is run by the blasted Imperials. Apparently they made a weapon that can destroy an entire planet, which is what they just did to Alderaan. We hid in the smuggling compartments until the kid and I snagged a couple of 'trooper uniforms. We get to the point where the old guy goes off to make it able for us to leave, but by the time we were leaving, we gained a princess, lost the old guy and smelled like some terrible garbage. We get to the Alliance, drop off the kid, Princess and droids and take our money to go. Then I make a ridiculous decision to come back, save the kid's butt and get awarded a medal for it. And so then that brings us to the present._

_I'm still not sure why I came back, although I have a pretty good feeling it was for the Princess. There was something different about her. Most would say that I just want to get her in bed, which is probably partly true, but then there was the fact that she is grieving. She lost her entire planet the other day, and when I lost Dewlanna I promised myself that I would be there for anyone and everyone who had something like that happen to them. I just lost one person, she lost everything. I suppose even if I didn't come back for her, I'm now a part of this hopeless cause, and I'm certainly going to make sure she doesn't lose anything else._

_Solo out."_

"He said all that 3P0?"

"Why yes Mistress Leia."

"You're not lying. He didn't put you up to this, right?"

"No. Certainly you know that a droid cannot tell a lie, especially a protocol droid such as myself."

"I guess I just forgot, sorry. Thanks for sharing that with me. You're free to go work on whatever you need to now 3P0."

"I'm glad I could make you feel a bit better Mistress Leia. If you need me I will be working with Captain Solo in the Circuitry Bay."

The droid exited and Leia was left, once again, with her thoughts.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/25/3902**_

_**Cub, I would like to make you aware that I have known about this log for several years, although this is the first time I have intruded.**_

_**I am sure that writing here is a big risk, and it's possible you will kill me before I can tell the Princess anything about what is located in this log, even though I won't, but I care about you, and the Princess, and I want to see you both happy. It is a part of my life debt to you to make sure you are content in life, and I can clearly see at the moment that you are confused and very unhappy.**_

_**I wonder, sometimes, why you don't tell her how you are feeling. Why is it you hold back? You know as well as I do that the way to make the Princess believe is for you to tell her the truth. You need to tell her you love her, because I know for a fact that she loves you back. She is just too afraid to let it show.**_

_**You have to understand that this is hard for her. The Princess has lost so much in her short life. She lost much more than either of us or even the two of us combined. She lost her world, family, life, hope and future, and there isn't anything we could do to change that until now. You hold her only hope for a future in your hands Cub, because what she wants now is for her future to be entwined forever with yours, but she is also telling herself not to believe that, because she believes it will only result in tears.**_

_**Like I said before, I want to see you happy Cub, and I want to see the Princess happy too. She will understand, but you have to help her understand it. There is nothing else I can do Cub, your future is what you make of it.**_

_**And by the way, you might want to get a better password on this thing. 'LOS' isn't hard to guess.**_

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_25th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I can't believe I'm saying this…but I think 3P0 actually helped the situation here. Maybe not for Han, because he just had his personal thoughts read out loud to the one person he wouldn't want to hear them, but for me, it is helping immensely._

_As I said yesterday, three years ago my life was ruined. I didn't have a family, home or most importantly, a future, but for some reason, since this trip began, I feel as if that future has returned. I can finally see myself happy sometime many years from now, but there is still something different about it._

_For Luke, his future shines as bright as the twin Tatooine suns. He knows exactly what he's doing. He'll become a Jedi, and restore the order and bring peace to the Galaxy. After the war, Chewie can return to his family, and Han will go with him. But what will my life after the war be? I know that until then, I will be at the head of operations, going on missions and doing my best to win in this fight against the Empire. But after that, I have no idea._

_So if I have no idea what my future WILL be, shouldn't I have a choice in what I WANT it to be?_

* * *

><p>Leia was sitting in her cabin, her eyes closed, when she heard the door cycle open, she quickly opened her eyes and stood up.<p>

"What Han?"

Without even answering, he strode across the room to stand next to her and kissed her, forcefully. She responded, kissing him back until he pulled away. "I want you to know that I want to believe in us because it will give me a reason to come back."

"And if you don't?"

"Then I'll have failed, and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I never want to hurt you ever again."

This time it was Leia who initiated the kiss, pulling his head down to seal his lips with hers. They stood there, engulfed in the moment until Leia pulled away.

"Is that why you came back?"

"When?"

"At Yavin. Did you come back because of me?"

"It might be."

"And it's why you purposefully searched me out all those nights after Alderaan, isn't' it?"

"Maybe."

"And it's why you stayed."

"Leia, I'd stay for the rest of my life if it meant you were happy."

"But you still can't, can you?"

"No, but it doesn't mean that I want to leave, and it doesn't mean I won't come back. Leia, if I have to leave to pay off that scum, I'm going to do everything in my power to come back to you alive."

Leia kissed him again, pressing her body up against his and wrapping her arms around his neck. When she pulled away he moved his lips across her jaw to her ear, and then down her neck, settling between her ear and shoulder.

"Han, wait" she said, and he immediately pulled away.

"What?"

She looked up into his eyes. "If you have to leave, then what are we doing now?"

"We're making the most of the time we have left together." He pushed a few stray hairs out of her face, "And there is nothing you can say or do that is going to make me waste it."

"Is that what you want Han, for us? To be together?"

"More than anything in this galaxy."

"Even more than the falcon?"

"Yes, even more than the falcon."

"Then I suppose I can't argue. But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll come back."

"I'll always come back for you. Besides, we both know there's more to me than money."


	10. Day 10: Together at Last

Day 10: Together at Last

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_26th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Is this what love feels like? I can't say I've ever experienced this sort of love, so I wouldn't know. I, of course, loved my family, and I still do even though they are gone. I love Luke, but that's more like a brother-sister kind of love. I love Chewie, but that's a friend kind of love, and I love many others, but it's not like this._

_My love for Han is completely different. I guess I'm still unsure about it because I haven't let myself love until this point, and I'm still not sure why his love broke through the walls surrounding me now. I worked so hard for so long to keep myself from being crushed by love, because we all know that it has to come to an end, at some point. For some, it is sooner than others, and I know that will be the case. But Gods, it feels good to finally let it in, the thing I have been denying myself for so long._

_His confession last night almost made me cry, but instead I found myself kissing him. Eventually, he stopped and told me to get some sleep. Was I happy that he left, no probably not, I could have kissed him all night! But it was for the better. This territory is new for me, and maybe for Han too._

_I'm thinking about asking 3P0 about his log on the falcon again, but when I think about doing that I scold myself, saying that I wouldn't want him to be reading my own words. 3P0 did say that Chewie knew the password though, and when I asked him about it, he just laughed…it worries me. It made me wonder if Han knew MY password._

_And so, I changed the password on this thing to something he'll NEVER guess._

* * *

><p><strong>[Well you know Cub, it really wasn't a very creative password]<strong> Chewie said before taking another drink of his Caf.

"What wasn't a very creative password?" asked Leia as she walked into the galley and poured herself a cup of Caf of her own.

"Nothing Sweetheart" Han mentioned quickly, maybe a little too quickly. "How did you sleep?"

Leia eyed him for a moment, wanting to ask again about the password, but she dropped it. "I slept pretty good Captain, why do you ask?"

He moved towards her, "Well can't a Captain make sure his passengers are treated fairly?"

"I don't know Flyboy, am I really considered a passenger?"

"Are you saying you want to be a member of the crew?" he asked, his face just inches from hers.

"I don't think…" she said before he finally kissed her.

**[Oh get a room!]** Chewie growled from the other side of the room, before walking out. His comment broke the kiss.

"Han, we really should talk."

"'Bout what Sweetheart?"

"About us."

"I thought we already went through this. I told you…"

"No, that's not what I want to talk about Han. I want to talk about us right NOW. What exactly are we?" A puzzled look came across Han's face. "See, I don't know either, and that's why we need to talk about it."

"I think the real question here is what do you want us to be?"

"And what about you? I think you have some say in this too…"

"I'm fine with whatever you choose Sweetheart. I don't want to push you any further than you want to go."

"Well in the best case scenario, what would you want?"

"There never is a best case scenario…you know that."

"But let's just say there was" she said, sitting down on the bench and crossing her legs under her, "then what would you want?"

"I suppose…I don't know Leia." He looked to find her staring at him, as if unable to answer. "What? What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know Han."

"Why is it that every time something finally goes right between us," he yelled, "you have to bring THIS up again and we're back to square one?"

"Because if we don't figure THIS out Han, there will be no US."

"Is that what you want then?"

"No."

"Then can't you just drop it?"

"But…"

"No your Hignessness, I told you last night how I felt…and I certainly don't want to waste any more time with this pointless arguing. We're together for now…and it shouldn't matter officially what we 'are' because no one is here to see it. If you want to have this little fling now and completely throw it out the back door when we get to the alliance, then that's fine, but I'm not wasting any more time with it."

"Why won't you just say it?"

"What?"

"That you love me."

He was shocked by her response, and he forcefully kissed her, pushing her back up against the bench. He kneeled on the floor and moved her legs so they were around him. When he finally pulled back Leia smirked. "Is that how you answer all the tough questions?"

"It might be."

"It still doesn't solve our problem Han."

"Like I said Leia, this is about what YOU want this to be, not me. If you want me to get as far away from you as possible when we get to the alliance…"

"Just shut up and kiss me."

He didn't need to be asked twice.

* * *

><p>Sometime after lunch Chewie walked into the main hold to find Leia sitting in one of the larger chairs reading a book. He moved to the opposite side of the room from Leia to work on one of the power stations. <strong>[What are you reading Princess?]<strong>

Leia shook her head and then looked up, trying to find the source of the voice. "What…oh, Chewie. I'm reading that book Han suggested, about Corellia."

**[It looks like you're almost finished.]**

"Yeah, I'm almost done…only a few pages left. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my time now that I finished this entire book."

**[I can see your problem. That book isn't small by any means, and when you finally finish something of that size you just don't know what to do with yourself.]**

"Exactly" she said closing the book. "I suppose I'll stop for now though, that way I can save the end for later."

**[It's not going to last any longer Princess.]**

"No, but it will seem like it because I'll finish it tonight instead of now…meaning I'll have something to do with myself later" she laughed. "What are you working on?"

**[This power station. It seems there are more things wrong with this ship than we originally thought.]**

"Doesn't surprise me."

**[I heard your,]** he paused, **[Conversation with Han last night.]**

"How did you…"

**[Wookiee's have enhanced skills Princess. Generally I go to the other side of the ship when things like that happen, but I didn't want to get out of bed.]**

"Oh. Sorry if we were bothering you, I didn't mean…Han just…"

**[It's fine. You two seem to be getting along well though?]**

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

**[You guess I could? It seemed like it to me this morning.]**

"Oh that…I'm sorry you had to…"

**[Once again, it's fine. Han really cares about you Princess, don't waste the time you have left.]**

"It seems everyone is saying that to me."

**[It is true though.]**

"Well of course it's true, but what happens when we get back to the alliance and my heart is broken. How will I feel then?"

**[Is that why you so closely guard you heart Princess? For fear of it breaking?]**

"It's been broken too many times already Chewie, and I just can't imagine what another crack might do. I'm so fragile as it is, with everything I've been through. The only way to protect it is to guard it."

**[But you feel Han has broken through the walls?]**

"Yes, very much so. I've never felt this way before Chewie."

**[You've never been in love?]**

"No, not like this at least."

**[I understand. You are afraid that you love him too much, and when he leaves he will take your heart with him.]**

"Exactly."

**[Well, no matter what, he is going to take a piece of your heart with him. You two and Han are always with each other, joined at the hip, and that won't change, even when you are separated.]**

"So you're saying that I should ignore my fears?"

**[No, your fears are legitimate, but you should follow what your heart tells you to do. I can't make the decision for you, and neither can Han. We both want to see you happy, and if being with Han makes you happy, then do that. If your heart tells you to stay friends, then follow that.]**

Leia was silent for a moment, taking in the Wookiee's wise words. "Thanks Chewie. I think I know what I need to do." She then got up from the chair, book in hand, and headed towards her cabin.

* * *

><p>"Han? Han? Where are you?" the princess yelled throughout the ship, in search of the pilot.<p>

"In here Sweetheart!" he yelled back, hoping she would hear him. He figured she would and went back to work, kneeling to reach a lower portion of the board, not even looking up when he heard the door cycle open.

"There you are Flyboy!" she said, walking over and wrapping her arms around his neck, "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"So I've heard."

"Was I really that loud? I didn't hear you until just now."

"Probably because you WERE that loud" he said, standing up and turning to face her. "But you did find me. What's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I made up my mind."

"About?"

"Us."

"Oh, that again."

"No, not that again Han. I really did make up my mind."

"And what did you decide on."

"I want us Han. I want us to remember these next 30 days as the best days of our lives, because if that's all we have to hold on to after we get to the Alliance, then that's that. But I don't want to fool around and act as if there isn't something between us, because there is, and if the galaxy permits it, maybe it will last beyond Jabba and Vader."

He kissed her, slowly, his lips pressing lightly against hers. He pulled away, "Interesting choice of enemies, but I agree completely."

"So then that's it then. There's an us."

"Yes, as long as that's what you want."

"It's always been what I want."

"You sure had a funny way of showing it" he said with a grin. "Always arguing and running away…"

"Whatever, you were just as funny! Making me angry, jealous, arguing, pretending to leave to get my attention…"

"Point taken" he whispered before kissing her again. "You hungry?"

"Han, it's not even that late…"

"I just asked if you were hungry."

"Alright, yeah. I am."

"Thought so" he said grabbing her hand and leading her towards the galley to find something to eat.

After deciding on a meal of just some fruit and rations, to conserve the food supply, Han and Leia settled into the main hold. Han grabbed a data pad and sat down in the oversized chair located there for Chewie, and he motioned for Leia to sit next to him. There was plenty of room for the both of them, but she still hesitated.

"I don't bite you know" Han said, a serious look on his face.

"Well maybe you don't, but your Wookiee might" she laughed, grabbing her book and sitting down against him, her head settling against his chest.

"I suppose you're right, but you know Chewie. He wouldn't hurt you" he mentioned, setting his data pad down on a nearby table and wrapping his arms around her. "What you reading?"

"You know exactly what I'm reading!"

"No I don't" he kidded, trying to make her angry.

"Fine, I'll give you a hint, but you have to guess" she said playfully. "Let's see, it's a book about a planet."

"Dantooine."

"Wrong. Another hint," she paused and thought for a moment before continuing. "One of my best friends is from said planet."

"Kashyyyk?"

"Incorrect again. Third hint – they have some VERY interesting music."

"I don't know about you Sweetheart, but that Cantina band on Tatooine was pretty strange."

"Nope, last hint," she said, turning her body slightly so she was more against him face to face, "There's a certain smuggler that I know that is from this planet."

"There's another smuggler in your life? If there is, I think I have to break this off right now…"

"No Han" she playfully hit him. "I'm reading that book you gave me about Corellia!"

"Oh, that book. You're still reading it?" he asked, almost surprised.

Leia turned back to her original position and opened the book to her current page, "Yeah, but I'm almost done…see" she pointed.

"How in the galaxy did you read that so fast?"

"I loved reading as a kid, so I guess it just got faster for me as I got older."

"Well sure, but still. That's really fast. Took me a couple months."

"But I bet you spent a good part of those two months away from your ship. I'm stuck around her all day long for several weeks! With NOTHING to do."

"Oh, I can think of plenty we can do."

"Such as?"

"Well, for starters, we could go back to your cabin and…"

"Don't even say it Han" she interrupted. "Seriously though, what else is there to do around here for the next 30 days?"

"29 days Sweetheart, and I could always teach you some games, like Sabacc, or we could play HoloChess."

"I heard a story from 3P0 about Wookiees ripping arms out of sockets when they play games and lose…."

"That's only if you beat him and he doesn't like you. 3P0 is in plenty of danger. You, not so much."

"I see. So what else?" she asked.

"Let's see" he set his head back against the chair, his arms still loosely around Leia's waist, "I could teach you how to cook."

"Seriously, we've been through this…I CAN'T COOK!"

"That would be why I'm teaching you Princess."

"Fine, what else?"

"You sure need a lot to keep yourself busy huh?"

"I'm so used to working all the time Han, so this is a complete difference. I haven't had a break in years."

"And do you like having a break?"

"Yeah, I guess, but there's still so little to do, and it annoys me."

"Such a busybody. Hey wait!" he said enthusiastically, "We could finish cleaning out my cabinet."

"That sounds nice, but not tonight Han."

"Fine by me. Like I said, anytime you feel like it, and I'm not in the middle of something, we can clean it out."

Leia pushed her head more into Han's chest and he tighten his embrace, his head settled back and they sat there, Leia reading, Han watching over her shoulder.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/26/3902**_

_**I suppose you can say the Princess and I are definitely on speaking terms, but it's probably more than that. Not only are we on speaking terms…but she kisses me willingly!**_

_**A while back Chewie told me to put together a list of things I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime. I thought he was nuts, but I ended up putting one together anyway. It had stuff like get the Falcon from Lando (done), Accomplish the Kessel run in Less than 12 Parsecs (done), kill Greedo (done) and a bunch of other stuff, but I guarantee that Kiss a Princess was not on the list. So when earlier she told me to kiss her, I was a pretty surprised guy.**_

_**Either way, I feel like we are finally at some sort of peace, although there is still something that's preventing her from opening up completely. I can't put my finger on it though.**_

_**Oh, and Chewie…if you're reading this, get out of here, and shut up about my password, the only one I really need to protect it from is Leia, and she'll never figure out that password. Therefore, she will never be able to read these logs, and will never know what my personal thoughts are.**_

_**On the otherhand, I have gathered that Leia does indeed keep a journal on a data pad she found somewhere around here. I have no idea what her password is though, but hopefully one of these days I'll be able to read a little from it. It would be awful nice to get a little insight to her feelings toward…well, everything, but especially me.**_

_**But I don't want her mad at me again either…I much prefer kissing to arguing. Although she is pretty cute when she argues.**_


	11. Day 11: Then Vs Now

Day 11: Then Vs. Now

Leia found Han working in the circuitry bay when she got out of the fresher and began her search for him. "Hey Flyboy."

"Morning Sweetheart" he said, not turning from his work.

"I brought you back the book, I finished it last night."

"You mean before you fell asleep?"

"Yeah, something like that. When did I fall asleep?"

"In the main hold last night, right up against me."

"I see. And how did I get in my bed?"

"You were sleepwalking" he joked.

"Of course I was Han" she laughed, "now tell me. How did I REALLY get back in my own bed?"

"I carried you. I didn't want you to wake up."

"Well I guess you did a good job huh?"

"If you say so Princess. I wasn't the one being carried."

"Thanks Han."

"My pleasure Sweetheart."

She smiled and held out the book for him, "Thanks for letting me read this. It was really a good book."

He turned and stood up, taking the book from her, "I still can't believe you liked it. I really never thought of you as the history book type."

"I'm normally not, but for some reason this one was really good."

"It couldn't be because it was about MY homeworld, could it?"

"Nope, that has nothing to do with it."

"Sure it doesn't."

"Hey, you want to clean out some more of your cabinet?"

"I was in the middle of something, but it's fine, we can go."

"Oh, no, if you need to work…"

He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, "No really. It's fine. Come on, let's go." She grabbed his hand from her waist and pulled him out into the main hold and towards the cabin. "A little eager Sweetheart?"

"I'm bored Han…I need something do to! Plus, maybe we'll find another book or something."

"Ah, you were bored. You know," he said as he palmed open the door, "a few days ago I'm pretty sure you wouldn't come to me to ease any sort of boredom."

"Probably not, but what does it matter now?" she said, sitting down the on the bed.

Han moved over to the cabinet and opened it before turning back around, "I think it matters more than you think Sweetheart."

"Alright Flyboy" she stood up and moved to stand next to him, looking in the cabinet. "What's this?" she asked, pulling out a small book.

He looked at what she held in her hands, "Oh. That's a journal I had as a kid."

"And you kept it all this time?"

"Yeah."

She turned the book over in her hands, as if trying to sense his presence within it, "Why?"

He pulled a bin out of the cabinet and set down on the bed. "Not really sure. I guess I just kept it because of some of the information I kept in it."

"What kind of information?" she asked, sitting down next to him.

"Mostly stuff Dewlanna found out for me, from Shrike."

Leia continued to shift the book, touching the sides as if they were supposed to be untouchable. "Do you mind if I look through it?"

"Well I don't really know what's in it, so let's go through it together."

"Sounds good" she said, slowly opening the book to its first page. She read aloud the words in a young Han's handwriting.

_Dewlanna brought me this journal today to write in, but I don't know what I'm going to write yet. She suggested I write down any information I find out about my family so I can keep it when I get older and away from Shrike. Like that's ever going to happen._

_I'm never going to get out of here!_

"You wrote so little Han!"

He laughed, "Yeah, I guess I didn't write too much, but hey, I was like…ten!" She joined him, laughing.

"I guess I probably didn't write much when I was ten either."

"Did you write at all? Keep a journal or diary or something?"

She turned back to the book, flipping slowly through the pages while answering, "No, not really. I didn't have time for those kinds of things. Winter kept a journal though, of all our adventures and of everything that happened when we were kids, so that someday we could go back and look through them to remember the good times, but I'm sure they were all destroyed with Alderaan."

"Oh, I suppose so" he said, shuffling through the box sitting next to him on the bed.

Leia began to read out loud again.

_Today there was a new kid on the ship, a girl. I've never seen a girl around here before, only boys. Lately Shrike's been having me escort kids off of the capture ship as he likes to call it, and I was the one who had to escort the girl off._

_Apparently she came from Tatooine or something, and she was there because one of Shrike's runners bought her at a slave auction. Her name was Jessa, but she said she didn't have a last name. I told her my name and about how I didn't know my last name either. When we finally got to Shrike with all the other new kids and their escorts she told me she was scared and grabbed my hand. I didn't know what to do! What are you supposed to do when a girl grabs your hand?_

Leia started laughing.

"What's so funny Sweetheart?"

"You" she continued laughing, "That's so adorable!"

"Like I said…ten. Or eleven probably by then. I'd hardly talked to a girl in my life much less held one's hand!"

"Sounds like me as a little girl. Whenever a boy came into the room my dad would always try to make me talk with them because it was rude not to, but I couldn't do it!"

"You…afraid to talk to just a little boy?" Han kidded.

"What? You were the one afraid to talk to the girl!"

"Who said I was afraid like you?" he asked, his hands jumping to her stomach, tickling her until she rolled over on the bed in laughter, Han following her until he was above her. He slowly leaned down to kiss her. He could hear her breathing become quicker. "Are you afraid now?"

"No" she whispered simply. "Are you?"

"Never Sweetheart, never" he whispered back, kissing her again.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_27th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_It's amazing that this trip is already a quarter over! But at the same time, it's ridiculous that within that ¼ of the trip, Han and I have already accepted this…thing…whatever it is that we are. A few days ago if you asked me if I'd feel this way this quickly, I'd say never. I'd be denying my entire emotions toward Han._

_But then again, will I deny it when we get back to the Alliance or any sort of civilization? Will I completely deny any associations with Han as anything more than a friend when we get to Bespin? Would I do that?_

_Right now it seems impossible for something like that to happen, but after this morning I really thought about it. I've never acted the way I do around Han with anyone else before, and I'm pretty sure it's because we are all alone with no one other than Chewie. But still, I don't think I'd ever let myself be tickled like he did to me this morning, and I would have normally froze up when he landed on top of me. But maybe that's the thing…I really was afraid, but not of how I was acting, or even about the implications of him laying on top of me._

_I was afraid of how I might actually want those things happen for the rest of my life._

* * *

><p><strong>[Han, we really should get some work done.]<strong>

"Yeah, I know Pal" Han said, flipping through the book from his childhood as he sat in his chain in the cockpit.

**[What are you looking at?]** the wookiee asked, sitting in his own chair.

"Nothing."

**[It doesn't look like nothing.]**

He sighed, "It's my journal from when I was a kid. Dewlanna got it for me. I don't think I ever showed it to you or even told you about it."

**[You mustn't have because I don't remember you ever having a journal, other than the one in the Falcon's logs.]**

"And they're both PRIVATE!" Han said loudly, Chewie just laughed.

**[Whatever you say Cub. Did you make a better password yet?]**

"I don't know, why don't you go look or something?"

**[Are you inviting me to read your 'private' journal Cub?]**

"No, I didn't say…Why do you want to read it anyway?"

**[Because it annoys you]** the Wookiee laughed. Han gave him a look.** [Or maybe because I want to know what your true feelings toward the Princess are?]**

"And why do you care about my relationship with Leia?"

**[Because I do Cub. She is a part of my family now.]**

"You're saying that you've extended your life debt to her because of her relationship with me?"

**[No Cub, but you're relationship makes it all the more sensible. If you were to marry…]**

"Who said anything about us getting married?" Han interrupted, standing and pointing a finger at his copilot.

**[I didn't say…]**

"Yeah you did! Where did THAT come from?"

**[Cub, listen. Sit back down!]**

Han reluctantly sat back in the chair, "What?"

**[The Princess is not like any other girl that has been on this ship.]**

"You could say that again" he retorted.

**[And why is she different?]**

"Because I care about her."

**[Exactly.]**

"But I've cared about other girls before Chewie! I mean, what about…" he stopped.

**[Han, you may have cared about her, but she wasn't going to stick around, and that's why she's not here today. But think, if it weren't for her leaving you, Leia never would have entered your life. And you'd rather not have that happen, right?]**

"I guess so. I mean, at first I couldn't wait to get away from her, but not I can't imagine my life without her."

**[And that's why I've extended my life-debt. It's because Leia won't be leaving any time soon.]**

"She won't be leaving, but we will be."

**[That's irrelevant Han. We may have to leave to pay off Jabba, but I know we are going to do everything we can to come back.]**

"Yeah, that's for sure."

**[You would come back then? To the Alliance? A few months ago you would have scolded the idea.]**

"A few months ago I didn't have Leia in my life like this Chewie. I figured nothing was ever going to happen between us, but now it did."

**[So you are coming back for her?]**

"You've got it. I'm coming back for Leia, and then I'm going to steal her away from the Alliance and take her on a vacation to some planet far away from the Rebellion so she can have a break."

**[Whatever you say Han.]**

"I was thinking Kashyyyk would be a nice planet to take her to."

**[Really? You mean, visit my family?]**

"Yeah. I figure you haven't seen them in ages and Leia would love to meet them."

**[That would be wonderful Han. But what if we don't make it back from Jabba?]**

"I figure we can go before bringing Leia back to the Alliance. A few extra days won't hurt."

**[And you think the Princess will be up for this?]**

"I hope so Chewie. I hope so."

* * *

><p>Later that evening, after finishing some work on the communications system, Han turned 3P0 off and then sat down in the galley with Leia and Chewie to watch a Holofilm.<p>

Chewie had the HoloProjector set in its normal spot, with the large wall as the screen for the film. The Holo of choice for the night was Passion Taboo. Han was settled in on the bench again, and when Leia appeared from her cabin to watch the film, she stood in the doorway, as if thinking where to sit. Next to Han, against Han, or completely far away from Han?

She chose the second option, of against Han, as she moved over to him and settled down half on his lap, her head against his chest. His arm silently moved over her own, holding her close against him.

The film was a regular Holodrama, although an old one from sometime during the Clone Wars. It was a romantic film, as the leading couple slowly fell in love as they traveled through certain adventures and risked their lives multiple times. About halfway through the movie, they spontaneously decided to get married, so that the villain wouldn't be able to separate them from love.

"Hey Leia?" Han whispered quietly.

She moved her head to look up at him, her arm moving to his side so she could gain balance, "Yeah?"

"Did you ever think about marriage?"

Leia looked confused, "What are you talking about?"

"Marriage, like two people…"

"I know what marriage is Han. But what's with the question?" she asked.

"I was just wondering, that's all…it was in the film."

"Seriously, I've never pondered marriage, although my aunts always did. They wanted to marry me off as soon as possible, but I didn't want to get married young. I had so much going on with the rebellion."

"But would you like to get married someday?"

She continued to give him a questioning look, "Yeah, I guess someday, if the time and person are right."

"If I asked you right now, would you marry me?" he asked, his look serious.

Now even more confused than before, Leia whispered back, "What brought this on? What kind of a question is that?"

"A legitimate question Sweetheart. So answer it, if I asked you right now, would you marry me?"

Leia seemed to think about that offer for a minute before answering, "I don't know Han, I mean…"

"It's fine, I was just wondering" he interrupted, as if he didn't want to hear the rest of what she had to say. "I'll ask you again sometime, when the time really is right." He settled back against the side of the bench and Leia slowly moved her head against his chest again, giving a sigh as she did so.

* * *

><p>When the Holodrama was finished, Chewie was asleep, again, leaving Han and Leia to quietly get out of the room and to their bunks. Han insisted on walking her back to her cabin again, just as he had done a few nights before.<p>

"Look, Leia I'm sorry about that question earlier…"

"It's fine Han. It makes perfect sense why you'd ask such a question, and it makes perfect sense why I wouldn't have an answer right now."

"So you're not mad?"

"How could I be mad at you Nerfherder?" she kissed him, but he slowly pulled away.

"I don't know, you seemed to be awful mad me an awful lot of the time before this trip."

"That was then" she kissed him again, "This is now."

Han pulled her flush against his body, lowering his lips to her own this time as he sealed them in a hungry kiss. He moved her against the wall and her hands traveled up to land in his hair, running her fingers through it. One of Han's hands moved from her shoulder to land on her hip, sending shivers down Leia's spine as their kiss grew more intense. Before she knew what was happening, his hand had found its way under her shirt, slowly traveling upward. She pulled away.

"Han, I'm not ready for…"

"I'm sorry Sweetheart, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine Han, but I'm just not ready for that stage of our relationship yet."

"But you'll tell me when you are ready, right?" he flashed her a smile, leaning down to gently kiss her again.

"Don't worry Flyboy, you'll be the second to know."

"Who's first to know?"

"Chewie."

"Why Cheiwe? I'm the one…" Han protested.

"I'm kidding."

His face softened, "Oh, yeah. Right."

"Why do you think I would really tell Chewie about our personal relationship anyway?"

"Because you two talk a lot."

"You talk a lot too!"

"No, Chewie and I yell Sweetheart, not talk."

"I guess you're right" she laughed. "We'll I'm getting pretty tired. I guess I'll get to bed, if that's alright with you?"

"Do I get to sleep in the same bed as you?"

"Not yet Flyboy…not ever!"

"You're joking right?"

"I don't know, am I?" she said mockingly before walking all the way through the cabin door and palming the door shut.


	12. Day 12: Interruptions

Day 12: Interruptions

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_28th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Wait, wait, wait….did Han…propose to me last night?_

_I guess I never really thought of this till this morning, but last night after asking me if I would marry him right then if he asked, he said that he would ask another time, when the time was right…so does this mean that Han loves me enough to want to marry me?_

_I'm not sure what I'm more shocked about with this revelation. Either the fact that it's Han, wanting to marry me, the actuality of him asking, or the fact that someone might actually WANT to marry me…ME! I really can't decide, and I suppose it is legitimate that I can't decide which is most shocking._

_As I told Han last night, I have never seriously thought of marriage, mostly because I never expected to live through the end of the Empire. I figured I'd be dead long before that, but with Han around, the thought of dying has, pun intended, died in my mind. I can't imagine NOT living through this…except for when I think about how Han is leaving, and how he won't be there to protect me anymore. If Han really had left back on Hoth, I'd be dead right now, or worse, tortured by the Imperials, and without him I wouldn't have gotten off that death star…and I would have been terminated within the hour. So it was because of this I never seriously thought of marriage before._

_Of course my family did. As part of the Royal House of Alderaan, and the only Princess, I was expected to marry into another royal family and complete the bond between two planets. This would have worked out great for my Aunts, if I had agreed. I thought, and still do think, that marrying someone off just for personal gain of the political house is ridiculous. I've heard it said that the same thing will happen to me through the Rebellion, since I'm now supposedly called the Princess of the Rebellion, even though my homeworld has long since been destroyed, meaning I have no Royal Lineage because I have no planet to be Royalty of, but I will refuse politely and go about my life, with whoever it is I choose to be my husband._

_And so now we are back to Han. It occurred to me yesterday that I'm afraid of WANTING to be with Han. I've never been one to back away from a tough situation, but this time it's just…different. I know, deep down, that I want Han, and that want will continue for the rest of my life, because I truly do love him (did I just say that?), but at the same time, I'm worried about actually admitting this to Han. Have I really become an Ice Princess like he said, and could he really warm me up a bit? Or did I lose my chance?_

* * *

><p>With a steaming mug of Caf, Leia walked from the Galley, down the access hall and to the cockpit, which she was relieved to find empty. Han and Chewie had been working with 3P0 all morning on repairs again, so she had been left mostly alone. With little else to do, she had poured the Caf and come to the cockpit to think.<p>

Peering out into the stars, she silently found herself wrapped up in Han's chair. In the few times she had done this before, come to the cockpit to find relief, she always sat in Chewie's chair. But this time, something was different. She didn't want to sit in the oversized Wookiee chair, she wanted to be surrounded by the scent and feel of Han, which could only be found in his Captain's seat.

After tucking in her feet beneath her, she sat back and sipped her Caf before setting the mug down on the make-shift table. After looking at the stars, she almost jumped out of the chair when she heard the latch open.

"Leia? What are you doing in here?" asked a confused Han. He turned to flip some switches.

"Not much, just looking at the stars, thinking."

He palmed the door shut and sat down in Chewie's chair across from her, "Yeah, it helps me think sometimes too. When I first got the ship I was amazed at how beautiful her cockpit made the world outside of it seem."

"Yeah. It's different though, going sublight. Normally I've never traveled without Hyperspace before."

"I have a few times, and not all on the Falcon either. When I was on Shrikes ship we would sometimes make slow journeys like that."

"Why did you travel so slowly?"

"To help prevent kids from escaping. It was a lot easier to escape while in port or near port than it was out in the middle of nowhere."

"Nowhere, as in…like where we are now."

"Exactly" he said, dropping them into silence. She took another sip of her Caf, and set the mug back down, her gaze never dropping from the stars.

"Hey Han?"

"Yeah Sweetheart?"

"Did you ever think about what might happen after the war?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like what you would do after you got away from the Rebellion, after the Empire was destroyed."

He sighed, "I don't know if there's even going to be that possibility."

"That wasn't the question Flyboy."

He looked at her, studying her features, "I guess I've thought about it, sure."

"And if Jabba didn't exist, what would you do?"

"Probably continue with smuggling, unless I had something better to do. I'm going to be hunted for a long time because of some of the stuff I've done."

She laughed a little, "I always thought I would die before the Galaxy was rid of the Empire."

He stopped, and took her hand gently within his own, "Why?"

"Because, I was captured several times already, and it's dangerous. So many die each day, and you never know if you'll be the next."

"I suppose so, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't survive. You have to have some confidence in your life."

"Well after I joined the Rebellion officially, I hardly saw my family anymore, my friends, I was never home, and the chances of me being captured by the Empire were ridiculous."

"I never listen to the odds, they're almost always wrong anyway."

"Almost always wrong Han, not absolutely always wrong" she pointed out.

"Those chances are still pretty good Sweetheart. What brought this up?"

"Your question."

"What question…oh, last night? I already said…"

"And I told you it was fine, but it just made me realize that there might actually be some sort of post-war future out there for me, and that's something new. I mean, for the first time in my life, I could think about getting married, having a family, although none of that will happen until after the Empire."

He rubbed the back of her hand slowly with his thumb, "Married?"

"Yeah. I never thought about it seriously because I figured I wouldn't make it out of this war alive, but now that there is a chance it seems like I would want to be married. I want to have a family like that."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/28/3902**_

_**I really hope Leia's alright, I mean, she's back on the topic of how she would have died on Hoth, but this time it's like she's thanking me for it instead of yelling at me for saving her skin. It's kinda starting to freak me out a little bit. She thanks me all the time for stuff, it's not that…it was what she said after she thanked me.**_

_**Last night we were watching a movie and the two main characters decided to get married, so I asked Leia if she had ever thought about marriage, and she answered and stuff. Anyway, so then later she told me that it was a perfectly legitimate question to ask and that it just wasn't the right time or something like that. Then we kissed…and this time it was seriously getting hotter in the room. But she pulled away, just like I was sure she would, and the night ended like normal.**_

_**But then this morning she brings it up again, but differently. She asks about if I ever thought about life after the war. Now I honestly don't expect to make it back from Jabba, so no, I never really thought about it until now, when I realize that if I were to make it past Jabba and have the rest of my life to freedom, I'd want to spend it with her.**_

_**So when she mentioned wanting to get married someday, I couldn't help but wonder if it was implied that it would be with me? When I asked her about it last night, I did so without even realizing that I would want to ask only her, and I kinda did ask her too. But that's the thing, she said no then, but said that the answer still might change. So does that mean that if I get back from Jabba she will be there waiting for me and we will be together? Is that what she wants? Is that want I want?**_

_**Wait, what's with all this talk about marriage anyway…I'm Han SOLO, not Han MARRIED!**_

* * *

><p>"3P0?"<p>

"Mistress Leia! What can I do for you?" asked the droid, more than excited to be turned on and needed.

"Come here please, back to my cabin."

"Oh what would you be needing me for? I was going to help Chebacc…"

"This won't take long" she said, opening the door to the cabin and stepping in, motioning for 3P0 to do the same. He stepped through and she resealed the door.

"How may I be of your service Mistress Leia?"

"I want you to read me another of Han's logs."

"Oh which would you like me to repeat Mistress Leia? I am sure…"

"Is it possible that there is one from Ord Mantell?" she interrupted quickly.

"Why yes, I believe there is one from right after that event. It was quite terrifying, don't you think…"

"Yes 3P0, it was. Can you get on with the journal now?"

_Can't say I ever thought of the Princess doing THAT. She just…wait, let me start from the beginning._

_I haven't written anything for a couple weeks because of this following story. Her Highness, the Kid, Renegade Squad and the blasted droids were stopped on Ord Mantell for repairs, and then came word that she was supposed to go meet these people. Of course, I was right away a bit concerned because the Princess shouldn't be out traveling by herself at all, much less on a planet like Ord Mantell, so I volunteered to go with her. In our normal fashion, we argued about it for a good 15 minutes before she finally decided to let me come along._

_So there we were, just minding our own business. The meeting went ok, although I still have no idea what they were talking about. On the way back I got a message from the kid saying that they were at the junkyard and it would be helpful if we stopped there on the way back. Her highness wasn't exactly excited about going to the junkyard, but I messaged back and said we'd be there soon._

_Turns out the junkyard was a bad place to go. We were there for a few minutes, searching for a few makeshift parts that would last until we got back to the regular fleet and out of nowhere these guys showed up. They chased us off, but I'm pretty sure I've seen them before. Leia insisted we room in a hotel while we were there because there were too many of us to sleep on the falcon (She just didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me I think, because everyone but Chewie would have had to pair up with someone for a bunk). After the ambush we head back to the hotel we had, which was, thankfully, in the better part of town. We had a nice dinner, in which I'm sure Leia drank too much. Chewie, Luke, Leia and I were sharing a room, and so after dinner I said I'd bring her back there before joining everyone else for a few rounds of Sabacc._

_I never got to the sabacc game._

_Once we were up in our room, she basically just threw herself at me, saying stuff like she was wrong and that I was right about how she liked me. I must have been drunk a bit too, because the next thing I know, we're on the couch, kissing like we've never kissed anyone before…and we will never be able to kiss again. Not only was she kissing me back, she was also running her hands…everywhere…but of course, the galaxy had to interrupt us again._

_BOOM! The door opens and in steps a bounty hunter…well, more like three of them, and they are headed for us. The Princess has a little price on her head too now, for the Empire, as do I, so we're two people they want to be catching. I jump up, Leia falls down, I shoot, I grab her, we run and by some lucky fate, we escape unharmed, but it was close._

_But the focus of the story here is around Leia…and how she for some reason couldn't keep her hands off of me, which is certainly something I have never seen before. Then again, she was drunk, and I was too, so it was probable to happen, but I'm still not sure what to make of it, other than it felt good. Kreth did it feel good to kiss her._

"Is there anything else you would like me to read Mistress Leia?"

"No, that's fine, you can go help Chewie now. Thanks 3P0."

"Oh, it was my pleasure your Majesty, if I can ever be of your service, please find me" he said before slowly leaving the room.

"So that's what really happened on Ord Mantell?" Leia whispered to herself. "I don't remember any of that…other than the junkyard and meeting stuff." Her thoughts were interrupted, like normal, with a knock at the door.

"Sweetheart, you still in there?"

"Yeah, just a minute" she responded, jumping from the bed and making sure she was still presentable before opening the door. "What have you come to me for?"

Han smirked, "I could be coming for lots of stuff, what do you WANT me to be coming for?"

"To bring me food?" she laughed, and he joined in.

"No, that's not what I came for. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to help me with a few things yet tonight. I know it's getting late but…"

"I'd love to Flyboy" she smiled. "As long as it's not too hard."

"Oh, I'm sure I can find plenty of ways to make it enjoyable!"

"In your dreams. So where are we headed?"

"The Circuitry Bay."

"This isn't another plan to corner and kiss me is it?"

"Why would you even think I would pull that?" he asked playfully.

"Maybe because it's happened before?"

"That will only happen if you want it to happen Sweetheart."

"Well I'm giving you permission now to do that, so go ahead."

"You mean you are giving me permission to do this" he asked before kissing her.

She pulled away, "You bet I am Flyboy."

"Good" he said, continuing to walk towards the circuitry bay.

"You still didn't tell me what we're working on."

As he reached the circuitry bay he turned around and faced her, standing only a few inches away. "We're finishing what you were working on the other day. I think I know how to get the thing loose."

Leia smiled, "If you say so Flyboy. What's the plan?"

"I already got the welding done, so we should be able to flip a few switches and try to get the thing loose."

"Han, I tried getting that thing…"

"That's why THIS time we'll work together, right?"

"You were being a scoundrel! You can't blame that on me!"

"Ahh, but you were the one that pushed me away. Come on, let's get this finished with so we can call it a day." He moved to the other panel, flipping switches to advert the energy flow so they could release the handle. "Ready Sweetheart?"

"As ready as I'll ever be Flyboy" she said, gripping the handle and moving to a similar position as the first time. Han's arms closed around her, his chest pressing lightly against her back, and his legs moving to rest just next to hers. His hands closed over hers, "on three. One. Two. Three."

Together they struggled to release the handle, but finally it loosened, and it turned to the side. "Finally!" Han rejoiced.

Even though the handle was now loose, neither of their hands had moved. Leia turned her head slightly to find Han right there. His head moved a bit further in, and finally their lips touched in a kiss. Han's arms moved from the handle to grasp Leia's and he wrapped them around her, enclosing her in his embrace.

But the moment was, as always interrupted, once again, by a golden droid.

"Sir! Chewbacca says he needs to see you…" he stopped in the doorway, taking in the scene before him, "Oh!" he said surprised. "I'm sorry, but Chewbac…"

"Tell him I'll be right there Goldenrod!" Han yelled back at the droid.

Leia stood facing Han, laughing, "You're so hard on him."

"He keeps interrupting!"

"Doesn't he always?" she whispered before kissing him lightly again.

"You know Chewie probably did this on purpose, right?"

"Yeah, I believe it" she said, kissing him again.

"And that if I don't get going he's going to kill me."

"I wouldn't want that!" she playfully added.

"Of course not" he pulled her into another embrace, "who would keep your life interesting?"

"Not sure Flyboy."

He kissed her again, but she pushed him away. "I think 3P0's coming back, you'd better go. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Sounds like a plan. Goodnight Sweetheart."

"Goodnight Flyboy" Leia responded before they gave one last kiss and headed their separate ways.


	13. Day 13: A Promise

Day 13: A Promise

Leia awoke early, and glanced at the Chrono on the side table, as she did every morning.

"Kreth" she whispered, the Corellian swear coming out before she even realized she said anything. The chrono read 0423, much too early to be getting up. Figuring she wouldn't get any more sleep, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, stretching. Grabbing the small journal they had found in Han's locker, she palmed open the door and headed to the galley to find something to drink.

She settled in on the bench after starting the Caf and grabbing a ration bar to snack on. Opening the journal, she found an entry she had yet to read.

_Dewlanna says it's my birthday today, but since I can't remember ever having one before, I wasn't sure what to expect. I guess I knew that kids like me had birthdays, but I didn't have family or friends to celebrate with until now. No presents, cake or happy songs. Just me, every year._

_She started out my morning by getting me up and bringing me a special breakfast, which really was just about the same, but with a little extra. I'm sure she was punished for taking extra food, especially for a child. I hate it when she does that for me! She shouldn't take care of me like that if it hurts her!_

_Anyway, then while I was eating, we practiced my comprehension of wookiee, which is getting pretty good. After I was finished she gave me a little box. I've never gotten a present before, like I said, so I wasn't even sure what it was. She told me to open in, and when I did, I found something I'd never seen before._

_She called it a Star Box, or something similar. The translation wasn't good between languages. When I opened it, it spread out into the entire galaxy of stars and planets. I've never seen so many before. Before she left for the day, Dewlanna said that now I don't have to dream of the stars, because they are right there before me, just as they will be for real soon._

_I still don't believe I'm going to get out of here._

Leia laughed, turning the page to the next entry, but she looked up at the sound of someone in the door. She found Han leaning against the frame, looking at her.

"Reading that whole thing Sweetheart?"

She smiled, "Yeah."

Han moved towards her slowly, "First you're interested in a book on my planet, but now you're interested in a book on me?"

"And what if I am interested in it?"

He was dangerously close now, on one knee, leaning towards her, whispering, "Then I'll be a very happy scoundrel."

Before he could kiss her, Leia playfully jumped up, taunting Han to chase her. He stayed where he was for a moment.

"Hey, wait a second!" Han stood up, his finger pointed towards Leia, "I generally don't tolerate chasing on my ship."

"You GENERALLY don't, but I think you'll make an exception this time."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Because you WANT to chase me" she said back before running out of the galley, Han after her. They ran around the main corridors a couple of times, and once when they ran past Chewie's door, it opened, and a very angry wookiee howled at them to stop.

Soon Leia was hidden where she felt Han would never find her. Snuggled closely in between three large boxes in the number three hold, she kept quiet. She heard the door cycle open.

"You in here Princess?" he asked, but realized she wouldn't answer anyway. Then he saw a flash of white as she moved her foot. "I wonder where she could be?" he asked playfully.

Leia jumped as Han quickly appeared from behind the box, finding her hiding spot, but she was too fast, and she hurried past him and back towards the cockpit.

This left her in a corner, since the cockpit was off on its own hall from the rest of the ship. Han followed her, and when she tried to escape he caught her in his arms. "Gotcha!"

"I've been captured!" Leia cried out dramatically. "Whatever will I do?"

"I have a few ideas" Han mentioned suggestively.

"You always have ideas Flyboy."

"Yeah, I do, I really do" he said before kissing her.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_29th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_You know, I really have been enjoying this trip!_

_In my entire life, I've never had a chance to be just a normal person. As a kid, I was a Princess, and although I had friends and went to movies and snuck out a few times when I got a little older, I was still a Princess, and that led to tons of responsibilities, manners, classes and…well, media. Even after I joined the Rebellion, I was still at the head of a lot of responsibility._

_Anyway, so since I've been stuck on this ship with Han and Chewie and Gods forbid, 3P0, I've actually had a chance to feel normal. There's no media in my face, no Alliance to worry about every second of every day, no responsibilities to think about, just normality._

_This came up mostly because of what Han and I did this morning. It's something that I always imagined couples doing. We were running around the ship chasing each other, and when Han finally caught me, we kissed. My parents never did things like that, but I saw many other young couples do that, and when I was a teenager, right around the time I joined the Rebellion, I thought about what it must feel like to have a relationship with someone and have it be like that._

_Now I know, and it feels pretty nice. When I'm in Han's arms it's like nothing in the galaxy matters, and that's all I want to feel. But something is still stopping me from going any further. If only I could figure out what it is!_

* * *

><p>When Han went looking for Leia later in the afternoon, he first checked her cabin, and when he didn't find her there, he decided to search for something in the meantime.<p>

It was something he had gotten many years ago as a present for someone else, but it was never meant to be, so he instead had recently decided to give it to Leia.

This wasn't the first time he gave her a gift. In fact, he gave her gifts often, pretty much every time he went on a supply run. When he would go out to get supplies, he would often see something she might like, and he would bring it back for her. More often than not it ended up just traveling from one base to the next in a box, but there was one gift she always had.

The bracelet.

This wasn't just any bracelet though, it was a special one. He didn't tell her it, but he had it engraved specially for her, "You're nothing short of my everything." He figured it had meant a lot to her if she wore it all the time. So now that he decided to give this other present to her, he needed to be sure the timing was perfect.

After searching through the cabinet for a few minutes, he found what he was looking for. It was still packaged up neatly in a little box, tied with a ribbon. Taking it out of the cabinet, he put it in his jacket pocket, and headed back out of the cabin to find Leia.

He found her in the main hold, held up like normal in the oversized chair, which he had figured to be her favorite on the entire ship. "You're still reading that thing?" he asked, motioning for her to move over.

She looked up from Han's journal, and moved over so he could plop down next to her. Leia shifted a bit more so her head was almost in Han's lap. "Yeah, didn't we discuss this earlier?"

"No, I believe I discussed it, and you made me chase you."

"Sounds about like me."

"Yeah, it does."

"You want me to read some out loud? So you can hear too?"

"Why not. Read away Sweetheart!"

_Dewlanna found out something really awesome today…my last name. Apparently it's Solo, as in the Solo clan of Corellia. I guess that's not really something to be proud of though, because the Solo clan is just a bunch of criminals that tried to overthrow the government and pretended to be the head of everyone. But I'm not going to be like that. I'm going to be a pilot. Maybe I'll fly my own ship someday! I know just what to call it…The Millennium Falcon! Isn't it creative?_

_Anyway, she said that now that I know my full name, I have a much better chance of getting off of this stinking ship and to the Academy, where I'll learn to fly a ship. Dewlanna also said that will be pretty soon that I'll get out. I don't want to leave Dewlanna though! She took such good care of me all this time. But I'll just make the most of the time I have now I guess._

"You were always going to name your ship the Falcon?"

"Well of course. But then again, before that it was something like the Flying Wookiee…in honor of Dewlanna of course."

"Such a cute name. I guess it really doesn't matter though, because you have a shipload of false names anyway."

"Sure, but it's the real name that counts. And don't you worry, the Flying Wookiee is one of our code names."

They both laughed, and Leia closed the journal, settling herself in against Han. "I don't think I'll need to worry about what the ship is called…just if it works."

"Well then you chose the wrong ship. Great name, terrible working condition." They both laughed again, and then the room fell silent. Leia closed her eyes, as if making to go to sleep, but Han prevented it. "You're so different now."

One of her eyes opened, looking confusedly at him, "What do you mean?"

"You're so calm and open. I've never really seen this side of you before."

"You haven't huh?" she asked playfully.

"Nope, not that I know of at least. You've always been so caught up with the rebellion stuff that I've never really seen you relax like this."

"Yeah, I generally don't have time to relax."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I really do, it's nice."

"You mean relaxing, or us? Which one Sweetheart?"

"Both. Han, when I'm around you, I feel like I CAN relax, because no one cares what I look like or what I eat or what I spend my time doing. I'm freer when I'm around you."

"You know I don't care what you spend your time doing, but I have a few suggestions."

"Terrible ones I'm sure" she joked.

"Hey! It's me! How terrible could my ideas be?"

"Wow, you even rhymed to try and prove your point!"

"Did it work?"

"No" she laughed, closing her eyes and settling her head back in Han's lap. "I really love how giant this chair is. When did you have it installed? It wasn't here when you first rescued me from the death star."

"Chewie got it as a present from his family for life day, remember, when Chewie and I visited a couple of years ago and almost got captured by Imperials?"

"Yeah, I remember" Leia said almost sadly.

"Hey," he stroked her hair slowly, encouraging her to look at him, "what's the matter?"

She opened her eyes, "It's just…I was so afraid when that happened. I was in such a fragile state because I was still coping with Alderaan, and since Luke was off for repairs with Rogue, when you and Chewie left I almost couldn't handle it. I didn't want to be alone like that. And when Malla called to say that you hadn't arrived, I tried to stay calm, for her, but after that call I just broke." Leia's eyes began to tear up, and she moved positions so she was upright facing Han.

Han rubbed her back slowly, trying to calm her down, "Hey. It's alright, I'm here now, we didn't get captured. Everything's ok."

"But what about when we're done with this trip?"

"Leia, we've been over this…almost every day!"

"I know, but…I don't want to be alone again, and when you two leave, I very well might be."

"Leia…"

"I don't want that to happen Han" she cried, her head moving to rest in the crook of his neck, as she sobbed.

Han continued to rub her back slowly, his other arm coming to embrace her, "I'm not going to let that happen Sweetheart. I promise."

She moved to face him again, "How Han? How are you going to make sure I'm not alone?" Han pulled out the small box he had put in his jacket pocket earlier. "What's that?"

"Open it and find out," he said, pushing the box into her hands.

Slowly, Leia pulled off the ribbon from the outside of the box, and then opened it, revealing a small ring. "Oh Gods."

"Wait…it's not what you think."

"You want me to marry you? Han…it's just not…"

"Wait, let me explain. On Corellia when we make a promise to the one we love, it is not uncommon to seal the promise with a ring, and you see…" he reached for the box and pulled out a silver chain, "it goes on this chain, so you can wear it around your neck."

Leia looked at the ring, turning it over in her fingers. "Thank you Han." He motioned for her to give him the ring, and she did, letting him put it on the chain.

"Turn around" he said, and Leia complied, turning and moving her hair so he could fasten the chain around her neck. Once it was safely on, she turned back around and touched the ring with her fingers again. "Perfect" said Han, almost in a whisper.

"I feel like I should be getting you something too Han. You're always getting me things, and I never get you anything."

"Don't worry about it Sweetheart. Someday I'm sure you'll give me a great present, and I'm perfectly fine waiting for it."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**4/29/3902**_

_**I can't believe I just did that.**_

_**I gave Leia the ring. Not just any ring either. It took me years to find it, a family ring from Corellia. Generally, every family has a particular design for a ring, and each time a man asks a woman to marry him, he gives her a ring with that similar design.**_

_**Thanks to the information Dewlanna found me, I was able to track down one from my family for a pretty good price.**_

_**Originally, I got it for Bria, but then she suddenly left, and the thing just sat on the Falcon here ever since. I guess it was more of a live in the moment thing when I bought it, and it was a live in the moment thing now when I gave it to Leia. But this time, it felt right…probably more right then if I had given it to Bria.**_

_**When Dewlanna taught me about all these things, the traditions, from Corellia, she also told me that someday she hoped I would find someone to share them with, and that I would have someone to pass on the stories and traditions to. I guess I didn't understand what she meant back then, but I understand a lot better now. She always wanted for me to find someone like Leia. Someone who I love and who loves me back, and although I have yet to actually hear her say she loves me, I know she does.**_

_**That's why I gave her that ring tonight. Not because I want her to marry me, at least not yet, maybe someday, but not now. Not when I have to leave to pay off Jabba, I can't do that to her. But as long as she had that ring, she'll always know that I'm nearby, and that my promise will always stand…because she will never be alone.**_


	14. Day 14: Chances

Day 14: Chances

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_30th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I've been up half the night thinking about this, but I feel like it needs to be said. Here's my confession…_

_I love Han Solo, there is no doubt about that now. I denied it for so long, and now that I've had no other choice but to confront it, I know it to be true. Secondly, if he asked me right now to marry him, I'm sure I would. My mother would have said it was just a spur of the moment thing, and that I would only say I'd marry him because I'm stuck on a ship with him and I have no other option. My aunts would think it ridiculous and try to change my mind. They always wanted me to marry a rich prince or other politician, definitely not a smuggler, or ex-smuggler, like Han._

_But I love him, I know I do. I just couldn't admit it before, but I now realize that it's the reason I seek his comfort when I'm depressed, or when I have a nightmare. It's the reason I wear the bracelet on my wrist all the time, because he wasn't lying, he's nothing short of my everything, and I'm sure now that I'm nothing short of his. And so if my family was still alive in this galaxy, I'd tell them that this is my choice, and I don't care what they think…because I love Han, he loves me, and that's all that matters._

_And most importantly of all, it's the reason I'm wearing this chain around my neck…because I now firmly believe that everything has at least a chance of working out for us. There is at least a chance of us having a future, of Han coming back from Jabba, of the Empire being defeated, and of us both living through this war._

_And that's a chance I'm willing to take._

* * *

><p>It was early when Leia left her cabin looking for Han. Figuring he wouldn't be up yet, she decided to try looking for him in the crew quarters, where he had been sleeping for the past two weeks so she could use his cabin. Normally, she would have never done something like this, in fear that he would be completely unclothed in the bunk, but she looked past that, and palmed open the door.<p>

From the light let in behind her, she could see him in the far bunk, furthest away from the door, closest to the 'fresher. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she saw he was at least half clothed. The sheets were draped over his body, but one of his legs was outside of it, a light pair of spacers pants covering it. The flat panes of his back were visible where the sheet stopped on his upper body.

He moaned, the light from the door beginning to wake him. Leia shut the door and walked silently over to his bed and sat down next to him. Han shifted and opened his eyes.

"Mornin' Sweetheart" he said casually, as if she came to him every morning.

"Good morning Flyboy."

"Now when I said I wanted you in my bunk, I didn't actually think it would happen…"

"I'm not here for that you Scoundrel! I came to wake you up, I was already awake and I was wondering if there was anything I could work on around the ship."

The faint light from under the door reflected off of the ring on the chain around her neck, and he smiled, "Nah, there's not much else we can do until we get to Bespin. Pretty much everything is in good condition."

"Good condition or 'It will work for now' condition?"

"A little of both," he laughed, sitting up next to her. Leia tried not to gawk at his bare chest. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen it before though, as he seemed to enjoy watching her reaction when he would have it off. This had happened on several occasions, for instance, on the warmer planets before Hoth, when it was so hot and humid that wearing anything more than the lightest amount possible seemed insane.

"So what else is there to do?" she stuttered a bit, looking away towards the door.

Han sighed, "Not much. Hey, I never did teach you how to cook did I?"

"I told you that's not…"

"Nonsense. I'm sure you can at least cook something, and I fully plan on finding that something."

"Like I said, you have terrible ideas."

"But you like that about me."

"I suppose so." She sighed, "I guess I'm not going to get out of this cooking thing am I?"

"Nope. Now why don't you go clean up and I'll do the same, and then I'll meet you in the galley in about a half hour?"

"Alright, but if I don't show up, don't look for me."

"Ok. If you don't show up, I'll come looking" he teased before getting out of bed and heading to the 'fresher.

Leia sighed and walked out the other door, but once out of Han's sight, a smile grew across her face.

* * *

><p>Han was just about to go to the galley to find Leia when a knock sounded at the door. "It's open."<p>

It cycled open, and Chewie walked in,** [Cub, we need to talk.]**

"What, you've been reading my journal or something again?" Han said harshly.

**[I might have, but I wanted to ask you something.]**

Han stood there looking at him, waiting for him to ask, "What?"

**[Did you really give her the ring?]**

"Yes, I did. Why, is that a problem?" he asked defensively.

**[What's gotten into you Cub? You are normally not so hostile towards me.]**

"Maybe it's because my personal space has been invaded."

**[Would you feel the same way if the Princess read your journal?]**

"What's the difference if she does or not? She knows all my feelings."

**[Are you sure about that? She knows exactly how you feel?]**

"No, but…"

**[Then you shouldn't be mad with me. I think it's wonderful you gave her the ring.]**

Han sighed, giving up on the argument, "She thought I was going to ask her to marry me."

**[And you are worried about what her reaction might have been if you actually did?]**

"I guess so. I don't know, I mean, I love her, and I know she loves me, and now I'm thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad to actually marry her…because that's what I want."

**[And you're sure of that.]**

"I've never been so sure about something, but I know she isn't ready, and at the same time, neither am I. It would feel too rushed, especially with us having to pay off Jabba."

**[Then maybe now is not the right time Cub. Even though you want that to happen, it's not what is best for you and the Princess.]**

"But what if I come back and she's not there? What if she…goes off with Luke or something?"

**[Cub, if she truly loves you, she will wait.]**

"And if she doesn't?"

**[Then there is nothing you can do. That was her choice. But you know, even if you were married and you left, there would always be that chance…of her running off.]**

He sighed, "I know. I just don't want to believe that."

**[No matter what, there is no need in worrying about it now. Make the most of the time you have together Cub.]**

"Thanks" he said as the Wookiee began to leave the room. "Hey Chewie?"

**[Yes Cub?]**

"Do you think it would work? Me and Leia? Would there even be a chance for us in this galaxy?"

**[I do believe there would be a chance Cub. And the odds seem to be more in your favor this time.]**

* * *

><p>Leia was already in the galley when Han walked in. "Hey, I didn't have to come find you!"<p>

"Yeah, but I was starting to think you bailed and I was going to have to find you!"

"I'd never do that! Leave a Princess hanging! Not on my watch!" They laughed.

"So what are you trying to teach me to make?"

"Corellian Air Cake."

"A cake?"

"That's right Princess…and not just any cake, it's Chewie's favorite. I kinda missed his birthday a few weeks ago cause we were so busy with the move to Hoth, so I figure we'll make a cake for him."

"You're trusting ME to make a cake for Chewie?"

"You bet Sweetheart. But don't worry, you'll have my help the entire time."

"You're help? Are you sure you'll be _helping_?"

"Haven't decided yet" he said, pulling out various items from around the galley.

"So tell me, Master Chef, how do we make this Corellian Air Cake?"

"It's not difficult really. You basically take all the ingredients, throw them together and bake it. I'll help you measure everything out, but you are going to mix it."

"Whatever you say. So, let's see, how much sugar?"

"Two cups" Han said, handing her the measuring cup. She was about to put the overflowing cup into the bowl when he stopped her. "Wait, do this" he said, taking a knife and leveling off the sugar. She poured in the first cup and proceeded with the second, making sure to level it off first.

"Alright, what's next?"

Once all the ingredients were in the bowl, Han handed Leia a spoon, "Alright, start mixing." She began mixing, slowly running the spoon through the batter. "Wait, like this" Han said, stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her own. He showed her how to mix, getting the flour and sugar from the bottom of the bowl into the rest of the batter.

Leia was just getting the hang of mixing properly when she felt Han's lips on her neck…kissing her there. "How is this getting anything done?" she whispered.

"I don't know, seems to me like we're getting plenty done" he said with a deep voice, just inches from her skin.

Leia dropped the spoon into the bowl and turned to face Han. He looked surprised at her sudden move and was quickly pulled down into a hungry kiss.

As their lips moved against one another, his hands wandered down her body, starting on her arms, and then to her hips. Then, in another sudden move, Leia motioned to jump up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His hands fell in on her thighs, holding her up and moving her to sit on the counter.

By this point, the container holding the flour was spilled, making the room a cloud of white, descending over the pair, only inches apart from one another.

Unlike before, Leia had fewer reasons to stop him. She wanted to have this experience with Han…and she liked kissing him, so now that she was given a good reason to kiss him, she wasn't going to stop.

As the room grew warmer, and not just from the oven ready to bake the cake, Han pushed further up against Leia, and her legs wrapped tighter around him, even though she was already safely on the counter. His lips would leave her own every once and a while to explore her neck, and her fingers wound through his already messy hair.

Leia was confused when Han pulled away, and she was brought back to reality.

**[What's going on in here?]** asked a angry Wookiee.

"Nothing, just doing some baking" replied Han, still wound in between Leia's legs.

**[I can see that. Although I can't remember any recipe that includes kissing and spilling half the flour all over the room.]**

Leia blushed, realizing what the scene must look like. Thankfully, the batter was still sitting safely to her side, and she moved against Han uncomfortably, but he held her still. "It's a new one I found. Now don't you have something else to be doing?"

Chewie gave one last glance at the two humans before leaving the galley muttering something about agreeing with 3P0…humans could never be understood.

"Now where were we?" he asked, moving back towards her.

"Wait, I think we had better stop. This cake isn't going to bake itself if we don't put it in the oven."

He carefully helped her down from the counter, "I suppose not." After pouring the batter into the pan and sticking it in the oven, Han turned back to Leia.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up" said Leia, beginning to leave the galley.

"Sounds good. I'll go do the same thing quickly before this cake is ready to come out of the oven. We can meet back here for lunch to present this to Chewie."

"I'll see you then," she said, walking out of the room.

Han turned back to see how much time he had before the cake would be done, and sighed as he saw he had more than enough time to go take a very cold shower.

* * *

><p>After getting cleaned up, Leia went back to the galley, where Han was already sitting on the bench. He told her to find Chewie, and she went out in search.<p>

"Chewie?" she yelled, "Where are you?"

**[I'm right here Princess. What can I help you with?]**

"I just was supposed to find you cause it's lunch time."

**[And the galley is clean enough to eat in?]**

Leia blushed again at the thought of why it was messy in the first place, "Yeah it's all cleaned up. Sorry you had to see that."

**[I'm used to it. Plus, I can't say I wouldn't do something similar if Malla was here.]**

"You never did finish telling me about your family. We should do that sometime."

**[I suppose we never did finish that conversation. Maybe in a few days I can pull out some holos I have of them.]**

"I'd like that Chewie" Leia finished as she walked into the galley. On the table was the cake and then a small meal Han had prepared.

**[What's all this? Isn't lunch normally rations?]**

"Surprise Pal!" Han said as he got up from the bench.

"We decided to celebrate your birthday a few weeks late. We were all so busy with the move to Hoth that we just didn't have time until now."

**[Oh you two didn't need to go through all this trouble for me. I've had a couple hundred birthday's, I don't need more!]**

"There's always room to celebrate a birthday Chewie" she Leia as she sat down on the bench. Han sat next to her and Chewie across from them.

**[So this is what you two were up to this morning? You were making me a cake?]**

"Yeah, your favorite…Corellian Air Cake."

**[Thanks Cub, and thank you to you too Princess. This is so nice.]**

"We never really get to spend time like this," said Leia, eating a bite of her lunch, "together celebrating something like a birthday."

"You'd think we would spend more time like this…I mean, there's enough of us with birthdays to celebrate."

"We only really celebrate mine and Luke's, because they are on the same day."

"I still haven't figured out how weird that really is. I mean, it's just strange that you are exactly the same age and your birthday's are on the exact same day."

**[And don't forget that they were born mere minutes apart.]**

"But on completely different planets," mentioned Leia. "Don't forget that. Otherwise it sounds like we're brother and sister or something."

"I could see you two being twins. You act so…sibling like around each other, except for back on Hoth…"

"Don't even bring that up Nerfherder," Leia said as Chewie laughed.

**[You have to admit, that was pretty funny.]**

"Shut up fuzz-ball." This time Leia laughed.

"Fuzz-ball? Do you come up with nicknames for everyone?"

"Yeah, I do really. I never call Luke by his actual name, it's always Kid."

**[And you almost always call me pal…or in this case, Fuzz-ball.]**

"And don't even get me started on the wide array of names you seem to have for me!"

"Well let's see, there's Your Worship, Your Highness, Your Highnessness, Princess…"

**[Ok, we get it Cub.]**

"But then again, I call you a lot of things too…Nerfherder, Flyboy…"

"Scoundrel" Han stated.

Leia blushed a second time, "Yeah, I call you that too."

Noticing the awkwardness in the room, Chewie broke the conversation,** [And I call you Cub…so it all works out.]**

"Yeah, I guess it does."

**[Thank you again for the meal and the cake you two]** Chewie said as he finished his food.

"Oh really, it was no problem Chewie, and I will be waiting for that conversation about your family…got it?" asked Leia.

**[Got it Princess. I would be more than happy to share stories with you about my family and life back home.]**

"That's good, because I'm more than happy to hear them" she smiled.

**[I'll see you two at dinner?]**

"Yeah, see you later Pal" said Han as he finished moving the dishes to the sink.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_30th Day, 4th Month, 3902nd Year_

_That was one intense kissing session._

_We've kissed many times before, more times that I'd like to count, but this one was different. He was kissing me like his life depended on it. And I liked it._

_If I could kiss him like that for the rest of my life, I would do it in a heartbeat. It seems he brings out things in me I never knew existed…and I think I've decided I want to embrace these feelings._

_Han is, in every way, a good kisser…and I'm pretty sure the world was spinning when I was on that counter and he was kissing me._

_My world might just still be spinning…so I think I'm going to end this entry early, because I think I need to take a break from thinking about it._


	15. Day 15: Difficult Memories

Day 15: Difficult Memories

"Morning Chewie" Leia said, yawning at the same time, as she walked into the galley to find Caf.

**[Good morning Princess. A little tired are we?]**

"Just a bit" she smiled, sitting down across the table from him. "I stayed up pretty late reading again."

**[You sure seem to find that journal of Han's interesting.]**

"Yeah. It's adorable to read about a younger version of Han, before he became the scoundrel he is today."

"Hey," Han said, following Leia's path into the galley, "I was always scoundrel…and you like that about me."

"I bet you weren't _always_ a scoundrel." She turned back to the wookiee, "Was he like this when you met him?"

**[He was…always breaking rules. Although I'm glad he broke rules, because it saved my life.]**

"Told ya Sweetheart," Han said, leaning up against the counter as he took a sip of his Caf.

"I still don't think you _always_ were, but you're right…I like that about you."

"I can't believe that you tried to tell me that you like nice men!"

**[You said that?]**

Leia glared at Han, and then at Chewie, "I do like nice men, but…"

"You like scoundrel's more?" Han interrupted. "It's either that or_ I_ am classified as a nice man."

"I think it's a little of both," Leia admitted, looking away from both of them.

**[Humans…it isn't this hard for a Wookiee. It's generally just the most honest, strong and proud wookiee that gets the female. None of this scoundrel or 'nice' man nonsense.]**

Leia and Han both laughed, "Whatever you say Pal. It's good to know that I moved up from full scoundrel to scruffy-look'n nice man."

"You certainly have Flyboy."

"What was it? My devilishly handsome good looks?"

"No."

"My quick thinking?"

"Nope."

"Not even my scoundrel-ness?"

"Ok, maybe it was a little bit of all of those."

"You need to stop these lies Sweetheart, it's not good for you."

"Nah, it's too much fun" she kidded, finishing off her caf. "So what's on the agenda for the day?"

"Once again…basically nothing. I figured tonight would be a good night to pull out some old Holos though, turn 3P0 off and sit and tell stories or something."

**[I'd like to continue telling the Princess about my family, if she would still like to hear.]**

"I told you yesterday that I was waiting for that conversation Chewie! Of course I'd like to hear about your family!"

Han groaned, and Chewie and Leia both stared at him. "What? I've heard those stories tons of times! I was there for half of them!"

**[I'm sure I can think of one you don't already know.]**

"Whatever Pal. If you think of one, I'll come and listen."

"You're going to listen either way Flyboy…I'll force you to. I'll sit on top of you if need be."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

Leia shook her head, turning back to Chewie, "Sometime around normal dinner sound good? I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about."

[Fine by me. And don't be too hard on Han, he really has heard these stories many times] he said before putting his mug in the sink and walking out of the galley.

"He's right…I have heard them many times."

"And you couldn't bear to hear them again for my sake?" Leia asked, standing and then moving over to Han, setting her mug on the counter behind him.

"Well, if you are will to negotiate."

"I'm a senator. I'm always willing to negotiate."

"You used to be a senator, you aren't one now…but what did you have in mind?"

"How's this for starters?" she asked, kissing him for the first time that morning.

"Do that a few more times and I'll gladly escort you to this evening's festivities" he said, pulling away from her kiss just long enough to say the words.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Milennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/01/3902**_

_**I'm liking this new Leia a lot more than the old one…but is she really any different?**_

_**I'm glad to see that she is actually still wearing my ring around her neck, which I suppose is an admission that she loves me and wants this to happen. It's just a nice feeling to have, to see her wearing that, a promise that she will wait for me. But on the same note, I don't want her to throw away her life for me when I don't come back. At this point, there are three things I want to happen in my life…one, I want Chewie to go back to his family. They probably miss him a lot, and I know he misses them. Two, the falcon needs to either stay with Chewie or be buried somewhere where no one will ever get to fly her again…so that I can be her last pilot…it's a honor thing. And finally, I want Leia to be happy, and if she stays with me I'm sure she won't end up being happy.**_

_**I'm a smuggler who never really had a life. I have no family, no permanent home, not much in money and I'm wanted by numerous people (or Hutts) across the galaxy. I live on my ship, and traveling place to place trying to deal with smuggling is not a life for Leia. At the same time, I'm sure I won't make it back from Jabba, so there really isn't much hope anyway. If I did make it back, I feel like I could handle settling down with Leia, having a nice life, but as Goldenrod would say "The chances of successfully escaping Jabba the Hutt and making it back to the Rebellion and surviving the war are exactly 15, 463, 101 to 1". And yes…I made a funny voice while writing that.**_

_**Anyway, if there is a chance for me and Leia in this galaxy, then I'd like to be on the right side of it…but it won't happen. I'm going to end this now though, cause I'm starting to sound like Leia…always doubting the possibility of good things happening.**_

* * *

><p>Han groaned as he heard the voice of Leia coming from down the hallway, calling his name. He knew exactly what she was seeking him out for, and he shielded his eyes from the light when the door opened.<p>

"Han, come on! Chewie and I have been looking for you!"

Slowly, Han sat up, "What for?" he asked casually, as if he had no idea.

Leia glared at him, "You know exactly what for. Now come on, unless you are breaking the conditions of our agreement?"

"I would never do that Princess. I'm an honest man."

"More like a scoundrel" she retorted back as she turned towards the door.

"Hey now," he grabbed her arm and spun her around, "we also decided that you liked me because I'm a scoundrel."

"While that's true, it doesn't mean that you need to act childish. When I was little I had my dad read me the same story every night, so I'm sure you can handle hearing the stories Chewie has to tell one more time."

"Fine, but I'm only doing this for you…you know that right?"

"I know" she said, kissing him lightly and then grabbing his hand.

"So what book did your dad read to you every night?" he asked as they made their way down the hall.

"It was something about a nerf…but I really don't remember much else. I'm sure there are thousands of kid's books on nerfs, so I'll probably never know the title."

"I guess not" he said as they arrived at the galley, where Chewie was already waiting.

**[You found him?]**

"No, this is 3P0 right here…of course I found him! I told you I would!"

"And what if I had been hiding? I bet you wouldn't of found me then."

She turned around to face him, "I'm sure there aren't THAT many places on this ship you can hide…and even so, there would be more places for me because I'm smaller."

"You wouldn't find me!" he teased.

**[You'd be in the cockpit, fresher or crew quarters, hiding under the covers on the bed. You've tried this before, and I've always found you.]**

Leia laughed, "Come on, I saved you a seat."

"Afraid Chewie was going to steal it or something?"

"Nah, it just sounds better if I say I saved you a seat" she said, pulling him down to sit next to her on the bench.

**[Well Princess, what would you like to start with? I have a million stories I could tell.]**

"How about something from your childhood? I know it was a long time ago…"

**[That's fine Princess. We can all share something if that is alright with you. I would like to hear more about your own childhood.]**

"That sounds like a great idea Chewie! Doesn't it sound like a good idea Han?" Leia asked, nudging him in the arm. Han just groaned. "We'll take that as a yes."

**[Well, when I was young, under 100 years old, I lived mostly in the deep forests on Kashyyyk, similar to most other Wookiee's born on planet. I was known for navigating the trees we have there, called wroshyr trees, which are very dense, and many said I was skilled with a hydrospanner from a very young age. My first adventures were a little bit…let's say dangerous…as I traveled to the deepest parts of the forest, called the Shadowlands.]**

"Dangerous? What was so dangerous about them?" Leia asked, nudging Han again to make sure he was awake.

**[The Shadowlands were filled with many large beasts, even larger than myself. Most only went there for rites of passage, to prove our strength and courage, or if they were exiled. I personally traveled there to prove those things, since my father did not believe being a pilot made a Wookiee strong. He felt that it was not something for a Wookiee to do, and that I would waste my life trying.]**

"That's terrible! So you had to fight against these creatures because your father didn't support your dreams?"

**[Correct, but eventually he realized that I needed to follow my dreams, and he stayed home on Kashyyyk with Malla and Lumpy, knowing that I would always return, and I try to…every year for lifeday.]**

"That makes sense."

**[Now something about your childhood Princess.]**

"Well," she said, settling against Han, "when I was a young girl, my father and I would take a trip together, every year. Sometimes, more often than not, it was to Naboo. One of his old friends used to live there…Padme Amidala, who was a young queen and senator from the planet. Other times we would go to places on our own planet. Once we went on a trip to a cabin way up in the mountains, and I remember it because we went sledding and he ended up falling off" Leia laughed.

"And what happened? Was he hurt?" asked Han, who was now listening intently.

"No, he wasn't hurt, but he landed face down in the snow and when he came back up he was covered in it. I didn't stop laughing for what seemed like forever."

**[Did you like the snow?]**

"Back then, of course. We didn't otherwise live anywhere near snow, although if we were lucky we might see a day or two of some light snowfall during the cold seasons. Now I hope I never see snow again in my life" she said, referring to Hoth, making all three laugh. "What about you Han? What's a story from your childhood?"

Han's arm moved to capture Leia up against his side, and she grabbed his hand where it landed on the other side from where he sat, "Well, like I said, I didn't have much of a childhood…and you've probably read more about it than I remember about it, but there was this one memory I have from when I was younger. I might not have been exactly really young at the time, but I guess it still counts."

"Well, what is it?"

"It's the story of how Dewlanna saved my life and helped me escape Shrike. I had arranged to escape aboard the Ylesian Dream, which was an automated freighter ship. Dewlanna came to see me off, because this was the day she had been waiting for. But as we were saying good bye, Shrike and a few of his men caught us. Of course by that time he just wanted to kill me to get me out of the way, mostly because I had broken so many orders and rules that I just wasn't worth keeping anymore. Sure I was a good pickpocket, but teenagers and young adults really weren't of any help to him."

"So how did you get away?" Leia asked, rubbing his hand with her own, comforting him as best as she could.

"She sacrificed herself for me" Han said simply before letting go of Leia's hand and standing up. Shocked, Leia didn't even move as Han walked out of the galley.

"Han…wait!" she finally managed to say, but Chewie stopped her.

**[Leave him be for a while.]**

"But he's upset…and when…"

**[Princess, he's never even told ME that story. He's never told anyone.]**

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_1st Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_All this time I've been under the impression that Han didn't have any real connections to a family during his childhood. I knew he never knew his parents, and that they abandoned him at a young age. I knew Dewlanna adopted him as her own son while he was a slave with Shrike. But I had no idea that she sacrificed herself to save him._

_I can't imagine what it must be like to see something like that. Yes, I had my entire planet destroyed, right before my eyes, but for some reason, this feels like it would be worse. Just having to watch someone else sacrifice themselves for YOU. No one did that on Alderaan, although I wanted to give up my life to save all of theirs, but there was no stopping it. And the fact that the 'someone' who sacrificed her life for Han's was a mother too him…the only mother he ever knew, who gave him birthday gifts, information about his family and years full of childhood memories…is just terrible._

_All I want to do right now is run out of this cabin and find Han, wherever it is he might be hiding on this ship, and ask him if he's alright. I want to comfort him like he comforts me when I have a nightmare, or when the memory of Alderaan becomes too much to handle. But Chewie says I should leave it, and it's killing me to think that I can't do the same thing for Han as he does for me._

_And to make matters worse, Chewie also told me that this is the first time Han has told anyone about Dewlanna's death. He said that Han previously told him she died because of Shrike, and that after that he escaped and joined the imperial navy, where Han broke the rules and saved Chewie's life, along with many others. But the idea that Han shared one of his most personal memories with me and Chewie, but mostly with me, because if he wanted Chewie to know before this he would have told him, so it must have been me, and the fact that I have shared some memories I have of my father with Han that I've never told anyone else, not even Winter or my mother, when she was alive, makes me realize that maybe we care about each other THAT much, to the point where we want to share those precious memories with each other so they are not forgotten, and so that they will be passed on to the future generations._

_Oh Gods, did I just imply that Han and I would have kids?_


	16. Day 16: Tatooine Suns

Day 16: Tatooine Suns

_**Log of the Millennium Falcon**_

_**5/02/3902**_

_**I don't know if I'm more angry at myself for letting Dewlanna do something like that for me or for telling Leia something so personal. Of course she shares stuff like that with me all the time, but I've never shared that with anyone, not even Chewie…so now here I am hiding out in the cockpit, hoping that they won't find me, although I'm sure Leia will.**_

_**I guess that at some point this evening, since I have been here in the cockpit, that the reason I told Leia is because I love her, and that's what couples do…they tell the other their deepest darkest secrets, but that wasn't it.**_

_**I felt like if Leia and I had any chance in the future she was going to need to know about that, just like she'll need to know about Bria at some point, although she might already know. Probably does, because she seems to know everything, but it is still something we will need to discuss.**_

_**Needless to say, I now feel more protective of Leia than I ever have before. Sure, after her hard times with Alderaan (that still continue to this day) I watched over her and brought her stuff and comforted her when she needed it, but now that the subject of Dewlanna came up like this, I realize that I want to protect her because I don't want to lose her like I lost Dewlanna. I loved Dewlanna, and I still do even though she isn't here, and I love Leia…I love her like I've never loved anyone before, and it's a feeling I never thought I'd experience.**_

_**And most importantly, I told her because I want to SHOW her I love her, that I trust her and that I want her to know because I want to know everything about her, and I can't do that unless she knows everything about me.**_

* * *

><p>"Chewie, have you seen Han yet?" Leia asked, walking into the main hold, where Chewie and 3P0 were playing holochess.<p>

**[I haven't Princess, sorry. He might still be in his cabin.]**

"Thanks Chewie, I'll go see if I can find him."

**[Princess,]** Chewie said, causing Leia to turn back around to face the wookiee, **[Remember that this is hard for him…it's like Alderaan for you.]**

"I know Chewie, I know."

"Mistress Leia?" 3P0 started, "May I ask why you are searching for Captain Solo if he does not necessarily want to be found?"

"Because I need to be there for him, like he's been there for me."

Chewie was silent as Leia left the room, but 3P0 spoke again, "I surely will never understand this behavior, and I say it quite often, but it really is true."

Leia hardly heard the voice of the droid as she headed down the hall towards the crew quarters where Han had been sleeping. He hadn't said much of anything about her coming in the other morning, and she felt more confident about walking in on him, even if he was upset, but when she opened the door she found the room empty. "Han, where are you?" she whispered quietly, leaning against the doorway and looking into the empty room.

"I told you I can be good at hiding on my own ship" a voice said plainly behind her, causing her to jump. Turning around, Han stood there, still dressed in the same clothes as the night before, looking as if he hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Han, I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"It's fine Sweetheart. I need to get over it sooner or later, she's gone, there's nothing I can do about it, and I'm just going to have to live with the fact that she gave up her life to save me."

"Han, you know it's not like that…she didn't do it for nothing…"

"Of course I know that" he retorted as he brushed past Leia into the crew quarters, moving to the closest bed and sitting down. "But it doesn't mean that I can't feel guilty about it!" he said, running his hands through his hair.

"Han, you should have told…"

"I didn't need to tell anyone. It was my personal business."

"I was going to say you should have told someone like I told you about Alderaan. I never would have gotten to where I am now without you" she said calmly, sitting down on the bed next to him. "I realized last night that's why you were so good at comforting me, you knew exactly what I had been through."

"You have no idea what it was like…she was the only person in the entire galaxy that had ever cared for me, and then she was gone, and I didn't even have time to mourn her. She probably is off floating in space somewhere because they wouldn't have had a proper funeral."

"I lost an entire planet Han, right before my eyes. My entire life, my childhood, my family, they were all gone. I still can't imagine what you went through, but I want to try to understand. I know how much Dewlanna must have meant to you…"

"More than you think" he interrupted. "Dewlanna was EVERYTHING to me. It's why after she died I promised that if I ever met another wookiee in danger I would do everything in my ability to save them."

"That's how you met Chewie, isn't it?"

Han let his head fall to his hands, which were resting on his knees, his face in the palms. "Yeah."

"But he doesn't know that, does he?"

"I never told this stuff to anyone Leia…not even Chewie. It's just…"

"Too hard to handle?" she asked him. "You know, you're the only one that knows they made me watch Alderaan explode?"

This caused Han to look at her, his normal bright eyes looked dead, sad, a way Leia had never seen them, "I'm the only one?"

"Just as I am the only one to know about Dewlanna" Leia assured him.

"You seriously didn't tell anyone else? Not even Luke?"

"I guess it just wouldn't be as important to anyone else. You were the only one I ever received any kind of comfort from, so you were the only one who knew. You were the only one I trusted."

"I've never had someone tell me that before" he responded truthfully.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me they trusted me."

Leia studied his features for a moment, thinking of how to respond, "Well then I'm glad to be the first, because there is no one in this galaxy I would trust more. Everyone else is just out of their minds."

Han gave a weak smile and then took her small hand within his larger one, "I know, but do you know why I told you about Dewlanna?"

"Why?"

"Because I wanted you to know. No, wait…I needed you to know."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"It means that I…"

"You what Han?"

"I needed to let you know you weren't alone."

"Oh. I have to say, it is comforting to know that I'm not alone, but I am truly sorry you had to go through something like that. I'd never wish that kind of thing on anyone."

"I know you wouldn't, and I wouldn't either."

"We have so much in common, neither of us have parents, or any family outside of the Rebellion. We both lost so much in our own ways, and we have both struggled through life trying to ignore it."

Han tightened his grip on her hand, "Then I'd have to say we make a pretty good pair, huh?" They were silent for a moment, looking into the eyes of the other, as if trying to understand the unspoken words between them, and then Han broke the silence. "Why did you deny it?"

"Deny what?"

"Us?"

"I don't know if I just denied it because I wasn't ready, or because if I didn't believe it was real, or maybe I was just…" she trailed off.

"Just what Sweetheart?" he said softly.

"A..afraid" she stuttered out. Han was growing closer to her every moment.

"You're trembling again."

Han was so close to her now that she could feel the heat of his body against her own, "You seem to make me do that a lot."

"I guess I do, don't I."

He was so close now their lips were almost touching, "I think we have a problem then…" she whispered.

"I wouldn't classify it as a problem Sweetheart" he whispered simply before finally meeting her lips with his own.

Leaning into the kiss just as much as Han did, Leia moved closer, so it wasn't just their lips that were touching. She soon found her hand on his chest, and his hand on the small of her back. Then she was in his lap, and her other hand wound into his hair.

Han pulled away, but tilted his head so their foreheads were touching, "Leia, I…"

She stopped him by putting a finger to his lips and moving back to kiss him.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_2nd Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I love Han._

_I've said it before, but I feel like those where the unspoken words we just shared. I love him, and he loves me. We're both too coward to admit it to the other though, even if in our personal journals we admit it to ourselves. It's funny though, how two of the bravest souls in the Alliance (or in Han's case…almost in the Alliance) are too coward to admit to the other that they have something, that they love each other._

_I was also debating on my walk back here to write this about how long I've actually known. Maybe I just thought or said it was on this trip, but I'm starting to think I knew a really long time ago, I just didn't know if he loved me too. That's why I didn't do anything for so long, why I was so harsh to him all those years. It was because I had no idea if I asked him about a relationship that I'd be turned down._

_But then again, he does have a bad past on his side. He's been known to sleep with plenty of women, and I was scared I would just become another one of those. That's really what I thought he was all about at one point, sex and money, but now I'm starting to see different, or maybe, like I said, I already am seeing him differently. This trip has caused me to see a side of Han that I've never seen before, a part of Han that is softer, more unsure. It has made me realize how similar we really are, and when I look at it, I can't imagine us being with anyone but the other._

_We fit together like the suns of Tatooine._

* * *

><p>After successfully hiding her data pad in it's safe location, Leia walked back to the crew quarters, where Han had stayed to take a shower. She figured it had been long enough since she left, and she still wanted to make sure Han was ok.<p>

He had seemed ok, considering he was back to his regular ways, even though there was still something between them, and she figured it wasn't going to be solved any time soon.

Finally reaching the quarters, she knocked on the door, and hearing a "Come in" from the other side, she opened it. Han was just pulling on a shirt as she entered, and she was thankful for that because she didn't want to gawk.

"What'cha need Sweetheart? Come back for more?"

"Maybe some other day Flyboy" she smiled, "I actually came to make sure you were alright. I know when I got upset like that I always tried to cover it up, and I won't let you do the same thing, because you would never let me do it."

Han walked over to her and closed the door behind her before turning back to stand before her, towering over her small frame just as he always did. "I've denied it for so long Sweetheart, and I will for the rest of my life, but I don't want to get upset about it again and waste whatever time I have left with you."

"You really shouldn't…"

"Leia, I'm old enough to make my own choices, I think I can handle this."

"I suppose you are a little older than me, so technically you should be able to handle it," she kidded, "but then again, there are plenty of times you act like your much younger."

Noticing her joke, he moved his hand to the small of her back and pulled her flush against him, "am I older now?"

"Definitely" she responded strongly. The light was back in his eyes, the hazel meeting her brown.

"Good," he said, his voice growing lower. "And what about if I do this?" he asked, moving down to kiss her.

She pulled away, "yes" she breathed, trying to catch her breath.

"Why is it you always tremble when I kiss you? Did you do that with every man who kissed you?"

"No" she responded, still whispering.

"Then why for me?"

"Because you make me feel like I belong Han, like I'm the only thing that matters to you. That's never happened before."

"Not even with…"

"Not even then."

* * *

><p>Chewie was sitting in the galley putting together a small lunch when Han and Leia walked into the galley.<p>

**[Feeling better Cub?]**

"Much better, thanks Chewie. What's for lunch?"

**[What do you think?]**

"Gi Dumpling Soup with a side of qana beans and Sweesonberry bread with wintenberry jelly?" Leia asked hopefully.

**[More like rations again, sorry Princess.]**

"What's so funny flyboy?" Leia aksed Han, who was still laughing next to her.

"You actually like sweesonberry bread?"

"What if I do?"

"That stuff is NEVER coming on my ship! There's no way to cut it, except use Luke's lightsaber, which we don't have in the first place."

"I guess it is kinda gross, isn't it?"

**[As gross as rations?]** Chewie asked before they all erupted in another fit of laughter.

"No, I'd rather have rations!" Han said, still laughing.

"Whatever you say Flyboy" Leia responded, finally recovering from the laughing fit.

Chewie gave a last few laughs as he set the plate filled with the day's rations on the table, **[Eat up you two.]** Han sat down, and Leia sat next to him, Chewie on the other side of the table like normal. **[I take it you two worked things out?]**

"What was there to work out?" Han asked defensively.

"Yeah, everything's fine Chewie."

"No, what was wrong between us?" Han asked, his half eaten ration bar still in his hand.

"I thought you were mad at me because of last night, but I guess you aren't."

"Why in the galaxy would I be mad at you?"

"Because…I don't know. You just ran off and I didn't know what to do. You were always there for me and I realized I had no idea how to do the same for you."

Han looked a little shocked, but he spoke almost right away, "I could never be mad at you for something that happened in my past Sweetheart, unless you're the one that did it…like that one time…"

"Don't even bring it up…and no, I still haven't forgiven you for that!"

"Well for someone who hasn't forgiven me, you seem pretty content with my presence."

**[What did you do?]**

"She started it!"

"I believe it was you!" Leia said, pushing him lightly.

"No, it was you!" Han said, jumping up from the table and pulling Leia with him.

The two of them continued to argue as they moved down the hallway, playfully pushing each other.

Chewie was left alone, but heard 3P0 walk by, muttering, "Humans."

**[Really, what happened?]** He asked aloud, as if they were still in the room. **[That droid is right, you can never understand human behavior.]**

3P0 then appeared back in the galley, having heard the Wookiee's last words, "I am pleased to hear that someone finally agrees with me. I just don't understand why Captain Solo would do these kinds of things, and the way Mistress Leia reacted to the logs of the Millennium Falcon was just strange. She…"

**[Wait, what did you say?]**

"That I'm finally glad…"

**[No, after that, about the logs.]**

"Misteress Leia reacted very strange when I read her a part of Captain Solo's logs here on the falcon. She was laughing, and she asked me to read more. I generally don't understand what she finds so interesting about them."

Chewie laughed.

"What could you find so entertaining about this Chewbacca?"

**[You read her the logs?]**

"Yes, she asked for me to repeat a few of them, is there any way this information can be of assistance?"

**[No, not at all. But you probably don't want to do that again.]**

"May I ask why I should not attend to Mistress Leia's wishes?"

**[Because if you continue reading those logs to her and Han finds out you're going to end up as part of the hull]** Chewie said, still laughing as he left the galley.

"Become part of the hull?" 3P0 asked worried. "Wait, Chewbacca, what do you mean?" he asked, following the Wookiee out.


	17. Day 17: Rogues

Day 17: Rogues

Han was lurched from his bed, which he had been fairly comfortable in up until now, and fell to the cold floor. With his eyes still hazy from sleep, he tried to hold onto something as the ship moved again, almost sending him flying across the room.

Han rushed towards the door, grabbing a shirt on the way. Pulling it on over his head, he made his way quickly to the cockpit, stumbling as the ship continued to shake.

"What's goin' on Chewie?" he asked, the Wookiee already in his seat in the cockpit.

**[A rogue fleet. I heard the alarm go off just before we were hit the first time.]**

"I heard nothing, but I sure woke up when I got thrown from my bunk!" he said, slightly annoyed. "You think they'll try to attack and board?"

**[It seems like that's…]** Chewie started, but he was interrupted as Leia bursted into the cockpit and sat in her own seat behind Han.

"What in the galaxy is going on out there?" she asked. "I was thrown from my bed, and then had to somehow make my way here and no one helped me!"

"Sorry Sweetheart, we were a little busy."

"What's going on out there?"

**[A group of rogues are attacking us.]**

"Why?"

"Because you see Sweetheart" Han said, flipping a few switches as he talked, "there are these rogue fliers out there that just hang in the outer rim and scavenge for ships like us, but normally they're abandoned."

"And what do we do about it?"

**[There isn't much we can do.]**

"No asteroid field this time?" Leia asked sarcastically.

"Nope, not one in sight."

"Seriously, is there anything we can do?"

**[We could always try the guns.]**

"Yeah, but who's going to fly this thing then?"

**[What if…]**

"No, absolutely not. I'm not letting her go up there."

"Go up where?"

**[To the turrets. You can't fly this ship, but you might be able to help get a few of their ships down.]**

"I said she's not going" Han stated. "I don't want her up there, it's too dangerous."

"Han, I've been in a lot worse situations than this, I'll be fine. Just show me what I have to do."

**[It's the only way Cub. You two in the turrets and me here.]**

"Why does no one take an order around here?" Han asked harshly.

"Because if there's only one way to do this, that's how it has to be. I'll be fine…I went through interrogations with Vader, I'm sure this will be a walk in the park."

"Fine. Come on, it won't be long before they're in range" he said, standing up and climbing the ladder, Leia following right behind him. "Ok, I'll go in the right, and you can go left. Just use the gun motions to move and press the button to shoot. A comm. is hooked up in there for use, so you can just talk and get me or Chewie. I'll be right on the other side."

Leia looked a bit worried, but she kept on her strong face and headed to the gun after affirming what Han had just said.

Reaching his own side, Han strapped himself in. "You ready Sweetheart" he asked over the comm.

"As ready as I'll ever be" came the response.

**[They're coming up now, both sides.]**

Han grabbed the yoke and held steady, firing the first shots as the ships came into view. He heard Leia doing the same on her side. One, two, then on the third shot the first ship exploded. "Got one!" Han yelled.

"Me too!" said Leia over the comm, obviously excited that she had shot down one of their enemies.

The battle raged on, the rogues took more hits than the falcon, despite the size of the groups, but suddenly a blast hit and shook the ship unlike any of the others.

"What was that Chewie?" Han yelled, continuing to focus on the battle outside.

**[I don't know!]** came the response, but as Han was about to say something, he halted.

Two things were wrong here. One, Leia hadn't said anything since the blast, odd considering the size of it, and two, he smelled something.

Smoke.

"Oh Gods. Leia?" he called over the system. "Leia, can you hear me?"

No response.

"Leia? Are you there?" he continued to quickly ask before shooting another ship down.

**[They're starting to back out]** Chewie's voice said, coming through the comm. **[What's going on?]**

"I think it's Leia. She's not responding."

**[I'll hold them off here, figure out what happened.]**

Quickly unbuckling his seatbeat, Han jumped up from the seat and turned around. Smoke had filled in between the two turrets, blocking his view of Leia. "Leia?" he called, but again no response came.

Moving to the other turret, he found that there was very little actual damage, but Leia still sat slumped over in her chair. "Kreth" he cursed. "Leia?"

Moving into view of her, he finally saw the entire situation. She was loosely lodged up against the side of the chair, unconscious, with her arm hanging over the side, covered in bright red blood. A small line of blood also trickled from a cut on the edge of her hairline. "Leia? Wake up" he said, shaking her gently. When he got no response, Han unbuckled her, and yelled to Chewie over the system, "Chewie, she's hurt…got to get her to the med bunk right away!" He lifted her up easily, her light body not hard to carry.

**[I'll meet you there. The rogues have gone, they lost too many ships to continue attacking I guess.]**

As he traveled down from the turrets toward the med bay, Leia in his arms, Han whispered to her limp body, "Please be ok. Oh Gods, be ok."

**[There's nothing else you can do right now Cub. You should…]**

"Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do Chewie! I said before, I'm not leaving until she wakes up!" interrupted Han, yelling at his co-pilot.

**[That could be…]**

"I don't believe it. I can't believe it."

"Captain Solo, if I may…"

"What Goldenrod?" Han asked impatiently.

"The Princess may not wake for several hours, you really should do as Chewbacca says and get some sleep."

"What don't you guys understand? Now get out! All this yelling can't be good for her!"

**[Fine Cub, but remember to call us if anything happens or if you need anything.]**

3P0 walked out of the bay, and Chewie followed, waiting just long enough to hear Han's response of "I will."

Turning back to Leia, Han studied her injuries again. Her arm wasn't broken, but badly sprained, and a cut she had received when it had been hit on the gun caused the blood. It was a deep cut, but the bacta had helped, and it was healing nicely.

Her head on the other hand was a bit different. It had also been hit on the gun during the blast, giving her another deep cut above the hairline. The force of the hit caused a large bruise to form, and a slight concussion, as well as knock her unconscious. Otherwise, she seemed to be fine.

Taking her hand, he rubbed the soft skin he found there, and brought it to his lips, lightly kissing the palm and then holding it in his own, willing her to wake.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/03/3902**_

_**Dear Leia-**_

_**I am writing this for you, but also for me, and even though you will most likely never read it, I still need you to know.**_

_**When I first realized that you didn't respond on the communicator, I was completely freaking out. I knew I shouldn't have given in and let you up to the turrets. They are dangerous, and people are hurt or killed in them all the time. And then there you were, bleeding and unconscious in your chair, and all I could think was 'please don't let her be dead.'**_

_**But thankfully you weren't dead, you were just badly injured, but the experience so far has really shaken me.**_

_**I love you Leia, and although I'm probably too coward to admit it, I am. I haven't ever loved someone like I love you, and I don't want to ever love someone like this again that's not you. I'd move stars for you if that's what you wanted, and I'll do everything I can to come back from Jabba, I promise.**_

_**I want a future for us Leia, more than anything in this galaxy. I want to spend every moment of my life with you. I want to wake up every morning and see your beautiful face. I want to be a part of me.**_

_**And so, even though you'll never read this, and you'll probably never hear those three words from me out loud, I need you to know that I really do love you, just as I know you love me.**_

* * *

><p>When Leia opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was the throbbing in her head and arm, but then, as her eyes adjusted to the light, she noticed Han slumped against the side of the bed, sound asleep. Her own hand was tucked in his, their fingers entwined.<p>

"Han?" she tried speaking. Her voice sounded ragged, and it was hard to speak, but she tried again, "Han?"

He jumped awake, "Leia?"

"What happened? Where am I?"

His grip on her hand tightened, "There was an accident. A group of rogues were attacking us and you said you wanted to help up in the turrets to fight. Against my better judgement, I finally let you come, and we were hit. You sprained your arm and you have a slight concussion from when you were hit against the gun."

"Where am I now?"

"In the med bay."

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to make sure you were ok" he said.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Most of the day. We were attacked early in the morning and it's well into the night now."

"Why didn't you go to bed? I'm sure I would have been fine here, or Chewie…"

"I wouldn't hear of it. It's my fault you were even up there in the first place, so I'm staying here until you're better."

Leia gave a small smile, "Thank you Han."

"Do you need anything? Some water maybe?"

"Water sounds good" she responded.

"Will you be ok while I get some?"

"I thought you weren't leaving" she teased.

"I am doing this for you Sweetheart, not for myself."

"I suppose I will be ok while you leave for a minute."

As Han left the room, Leia began to wonder if he stayed not because he felt it was his fault, but because he really cared for her that much. She thought about trying to sit up, but considering her head was pounding, she decided to wait for Han to come back.

When he finally did return carrying a glass of water and a few small pieces of fruit, he asked her the question she had been pondering, "Can you sit up?"

"I don't really know. My head hurts something awful."

"Oh yeah. I'll get some more medicine for you for that. I'm sure it hurts pretty bad."

"No kidding Flyboy" she said, watching him get the med-kit.

He came back over to her, medicine in hand. "Alright, come on, let's get you sitting up so you can take this." He put his arm under her back and helped her up.

Her hand immediately went to her temple, trying to stop the throbbing that continued to surge through her head.

"You ok Sweetheart? You can sit fine?"

"Yeah, not that my head doesn't hurt."

"I just told you it's going to hurt. Now come on, swallow this medicine."

Taking the pills from Han, she put them in her mouth and gingerly swallowed. He handed her the glass of water and she drank a bit of that too. "You brought me some fruit?"

"Yeah, I figured you might be a bit hungry, but I wasn't sure what you would want."

"I guess that's fine" she said. Han picked up the tray of fruit and held up a piece, "You going to feed me or something Flyboy?"

"Not unless you want me to, here" he answered back, handing her the fruit."

After swallowing the fruit carefully, Leia asked him, "Why did you really stay here?"

Han looked her in the eyes, "Because I thought I was going to lose you. I was terrified."

She stared at him, unable to speak. Finally, she found the words, "You were afraid of losing me?"

"Of course" he said, putting down the tray and taking her hand again. "I never want to lose you."

"As in a friend or something else?"

"Both" he responded simply. "Never do that to me again."

"As long as you promise to never leave me" she said.

"You've got a deal Princess" Han said, standing. "I'm going to put this back in the galley. I'll be right back, try to get some more sleep" he whispered, kissing her forehead and helping her lay back down.

"Promise you'll be back?"

"I promise."

* * *

><p>Han walked into the galley to get rid of the tray from the fruit and almost ran into Chewie. "Hey Pal."<p>

**[How is the princess? Is she awake?]**

"Yeah, she woke up a few minutes ago, said her head really hurt, but otherwise she felt fine. I gave her some more medication, some water and fruit and then told her to go back to sleep while I came in here."

**[Will you go back to your cabin to get some sleep then?]**

"No, I'm going back in by her, why?"

The wookiee sighed,** [What happens when we leave for Jabba cub?]**

"We leave, and there's nothing else to it."

**[You will break her heart, you know that right?]**

"We'll I'll try not to, but…"

**[But what Cub? You know that there's a good chance…]**

"Chewie, we've been over this! We'll go to Jabba, wait till he's in a good mood, pay him back personally and get the heck out of there!"

**[And if we don't 'get out of there'?]**

"Then we're screwed, and I'm sorry that it has to be that way, but Leia understands, I understand, why can't you?"

**[Are you sure she understands cub, or is it you that just wants to believe she understands?]**

"If she doesn't understand now, then I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she does. I promised her in there that I would never leave her completely, that I wouldn't die and leave her in the dust, and I'm not going to break it!"

**[You promised her you would come back?]**

"And if I did?"

**[Cub, the Princess does not take these things lightly. If you are captured or worse, killed, she is going to take it just as hard as she took Alderaan.]**

Han sighed, sick of fighting, "I know Chewie. I just don't know what to do."

**[In tough situations like this, one hardly ever knows what to do.]**

"But Chewie, what am I supposed to say to her? That I'll do my best to come back, and if I haven't within a year, get married to Luke?"

**[I don't think she would ever do that Cub. The Princess loves you just as you love her.]**

"And how do you know that?"

**[I just do sometimes. You can see it in her eyes, with the way she acts around you. I've never seen her act that way before.]**

"Even with Luke?" Han huffed out.

**[Even with Luke.]**

"That still doesn't answer the question Pal. How am I supposed to pay off Jabba without breaking that promise?"


	18. Day 18: Coming Back

Day 18: Coming Back

When Leia woke again it was very early in the morning, around 0200. She found Han still at her bedside, again fast asleep against the wall, her hand in his. Slowly sitting up, Leia noticed her head was no longer throbbing, although it still didn't feel quite right.

"Han?" she whispered.

Once again, he jumped up at the sound of her voice, "You're awake again. Do you need anything, or…"

"I'm fine, you on the other hand look pretty uncomfortable. Why didn't you go to bed?"

"I told you Sweetheart, I'm not leaving this room until you do, or unless I have to."

"Well if you insist. At least sleep here with me" she said back.

Han just looked at her, and she wondered if she had actually said those words out loud. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Well it will be more comfortable that the way you've been sleeping."

"I suppose you're right, but only if you're sure it's ok."

"I'm positive. I'm the one who invited you anyway, so shouldn't it be alright if I invited you?" she smirked.

"I guess" he laughed, standing and then carefully climbing into the bunk beside her, his back to the wall with Leia on the outside part of the bunk. He sunk his head into the pillow and pulled Leia closer to him, his arms around her waist. She moved her head so that it was on his chest, and he lightly kissed her forehead. "Good night Princess."

"Good night Scoundrel."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_4th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I'm still not totally sure what happened yesterday, but I think I'm happy that it did._

_Ok, not from the standpoint of my injuries. My head really does still hurt a bit and my arm is pretty much useless as of right now, but it made me see how much Han must love me._

_He stayed by my bed all of yesterday and all last night, well, until I had him come into the bunk with me. That's right, me. Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan had Han Solo sleeping in my bed. Of course, the situation was a bit different from what most people think. I was injured, and he was there, and he looked uncomfortable sleeping the way he was, so it made sense for him to sleep next to me. It's not like we did anything. We just slept there, his arms around me and my head against his chest. It was nice._

_Which brings up another question, would I let him do that normally, or was it just because of the situation? I really have no idea, but back when he would come to my cabin and find me drunk, the only thing I wanted was to be in his arms, safe and sound, and that's how I felt last night, like nothing could hurt me anymore._

_Plus, I have to say, he got some serious points for being so kind and obsessed with my recovery. I've never had someone sleep all night next to me like that, not even my father. He did that for my mother when she was sick, but never for me. When I saw my father do that I thought that maybe someday I would have someone like that, but as I grew older I realized the chances of that happening were slim. If I survived the war I wouldn't find someone who would spend an entire night next to me in a complete uncomfortable position. But really, the one person in the galaxy who would do anything for me, was right there in front of me, the whole time._

* * *

><p>"I'll be fine Han, my head doesn't even hurt anymore and I promised I would keep my arm in the sling!"<p>

"But knowing you…"

"We've been over this! I am not going to do anything stupid! I don't want to become more injured than I already am!"

Han looked at Leia, as if debating whether to trust her or make her go back to bed. "Fine, I suppose you can go back to your regular cabin and stuff, but don't forget, I want you promptly after every meal for medicine."

"Do I have to keep taking that stuff? It tastes horrid!"

"You bet Sweetheart, unless you want to stay here until your arm is completely better, you are taking that medicine."

"Whatever you say Flyboy" she said, standing from the bunk and walking towards the door. "So is there anything that needs repairs because of the blasts yesterday?"

Han moved from his seat and followed her into the hall, "Yeah, but you don't need to be worrying about that. No work until your arm is healed!"

"We already went through this, and I'm just wondering. It's not as if I was going to jump into some sort of work right away!"

"Wouldn't be the first time Sweetheart" Han said, referencing her constant working.

"There is always work to be done Flyboy! Somebody has to do it"

"Doesn't mean it has to be you!"

"Then who?" she turned and asked him.

"Well, for starters there's the entire head of the Rebellion. I'm sure one of the commanders could do a little work once and a while!"

"They do Han, we all do, but there is just too much for too few people."

"Then why don't you get more people?"

"Because we are limited in the first place. We're like a grain of sand on Tatooine compared to the Empire, and most people are afraid to oppose the government that has been ruling over them for twenty years!"

"Well you've always got me" he said, pulling her into an embrace, but she struggled out of it.

"No, you're leaving? Remember? We're not always going to have you!"

"Now look Sweetheart…"

"Don't 'Sweetheart' me Han, you're leaving. We both know it. Not only are we down two great fighters, but I lose you too. We need you Han" she said, pausing, the climax of her argument coming and going, tears starting to fill her eyes. "I need you."

With that she ran towards her cabin, the door sliding shut after her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/04/3902**_

_**Now I really have no idea what to do. There's the giant portion of me saying "PAY OFF JABBA" because I know the bounty on my head is increasing by the minute, and I don't want to be stuck in a situation where Leia is taken from me and I'm taken from her. I feel like it would hurt just as much, if not more, than me leaving with at least a hope of coming back.**_

_**But then the other part of me is telling me to stay where I am. To stay with Leia and make my life what I want it to be. Still, I can't do that without paying off Jabba. A part of me wants to find someone to just take the money there for me, pay off the hutt and leave it at that. If I were able to pay him more than my current bounty, maybe we'd end up ok, but the chances of me finding that many credits is just about impossible. The Rebellion as a whole probably doesn't have that much.**_

_**So pretty much, it's a decision of how and when I want to hurt Leia. Great…just great. I feel like my options are a circle.**_

* * *

><p><strong>[What did you do Cub?]<strong>

"Why does it seem that whenever I see you, that's the first question you ask?"

**[Maybe because I finally agree with the Princess? You're a nerfherder.]**

"Hey…I'm a _scruffy-lookin'_ nerfherder! Get it right!"

**[Seriously, what did you do.]**

"What did I do to what?"

**[The Princess. I just walked past your cabin and heard crying. I take it's not because of her injuries.]**

"No. I just…we weren't even having a bad conversation. She just…blew up at me!"

**[It's normally something you said!]**

"And how do you know that Pal?"

**[Because she's always the one upset]** the wookiee fired back.

"All I said is that even though the galaxy won't support her and the Rebellion, I always will."

**[And she felt that you were lying because we're leaving, right?]**

"I guess? But I don't really know what to make of it. At one point she's fine and the next it's like she wants to cut my head off, and then she wants to kiss me!"

**[Interesting.]**

"You bet it's interesting! I just don't know what to do!"

**[Try talking to her Cub, maybe that will help.]**

"Talk to her, more? Won't that just make her more upset?"

**[Maybe give her a gift then, or do something nice for her.]**

"She doesn't like nice men Chewie, she likes me."

**[Then whatever you do for her she'll like]** Chewie said, walking out of the room and going into his own cabin.

* * *

><p>Leia was sitting on the bunk trying to braid her hair, but it was proving hard to do without the full use of her one arm. She heard a knock, followed by the sound of a certain smuggler's voice.<p>

"Leia, are you in there?"

"Yeah, just a minute" she said, getting up from the bed and giving up on her struggle with her hair. She opened the door, "What do you want Han?"

"I wanted to bring you some food. We kinda got off on eating because of the attack yesterday, and Chewie already ate, but I didn't, so I figured I'd come in here and eat with you again."

"Sure, come on in" she moved out of the way, and Han came into the room with the small tray of food. She noticed he kept looking at her strangely. "What?" she finally asked.

"Nothing, it's just…nevermind."

"No, really. What is it?"

"You never have your hair down, not even at night. I've never seen you with it down."

"I guess I don't wear it down very often, but it's long and tangly, and just doesn't look good on me in any other way than up."

"Why don't you cut it?" Han asked, picking up some fruit and handing it to Leia before grabbing his own.

"Because on Alderaan we just don't do that. There are certain times in a young girl's life where her hair is cut, but in between we don't cut it."

"When was the last time you had yours cut?"

"My sixteenth birthday, which was the third time I had it cut. Normally, as a Princess, it signifies my right to be married off, but it didn't work out that way because of the Rebellion stuff."

"I see" he said, noticing the brush on the side table. "Were you brushing your hair before and couldn't get it braided or something?"

"Yeah, but I can't do it with my arm in this thing" she said, obviously frustrated.

Han got up and grabbed the brush, "Come here."

"What are you doing Han?" she asked.

"I'm going to help you brush and braid your hair."

"You don't like it down?"

"I didn't say that, but I figure it just makes you more comfortable to have it up, so you should have it how you want it."

"You seriously know how to braid?"

"You'd be surprised at the things I know Sweetheart" he said, moving backwards a bit and making room her in-between his legs. "Now come here."

Leia slowly moved towards him and settled herself in-between his legs, letting herself mold into his warm body. "Where did you learn how to braid?"

Han stroked her hair with the brush, "I don't really remember actually, but I do. I always wondered how long it took you to do your hair though. All I remember about braiding is that it took a while."

Leia laughed, "It takes a while, all the time."

"How long is a while?"

"Depends on the style, but lately it's been about an hour. Other times it takes longer, like the Ear-muffs. Those took forever!"

"I believe it."

Leia began to enjoy the soft strokes Han was making while brushing through her hair, and she wondered why she had never let him do this before. When he set the brush down and began braiding, she was almost sad, because that meant he would stop soon.

"There you go Sweetheart" he said as he finished, but Leia didn't move. "Aren't you going to get up?"

"No, I'm good here" she said quietly, leaning back against him.

"You look tired" he said suddenly. "Why don't you get to bed. I'll go clean this stuff up."

"Alright. I am pretty tired" she said, standing up and letting him get the tray that was still sitting on the table beside them. As she headed toward the fresher to change she stopped and turned to him. "Han?"

"Yeah Sweetheart?"

"Will you come back?"

"I always will" he said.

"Even now, will you go and come back here right now?"

"Only if you want me to Sweetheart."

"I want you to. I want to sleep in your arms again. That was nice this morning."

"Then I'll see you soon."

* * *

><p>Han returned to her cabin a few minutes later wearing his regular sleep pants and a t-shirt. He couldn't believe this was actually happening. Of course, he knew this wouldn't lead to anything, that it was just laying and sleeping in the same bed, but he was still surprised that she would ask him. He had wanted it, more than anything, just to lay and wake up with her in his arms, for longer than she probably could imagine, but to be actually doing it was a different story.<p>

He noticed as he opened the door that she was still in the fresher, but he slowly walked in anyway, and she soon appeared in the fresher door. She still had her arm in the sling, but she had changed to one of his baggier shirts, which was so big on her it fell down to her mid-thigh. "You came" she said plainly.

"I told you I would, and remember…"

"I remember, you don't break promises" she interrupted, laughing and then moving towards him. "I kept my sling on all day, see" she said, gently lifting her arm to show him.

"I see, but I think you missed some medicine…" he joked.

"Funny, because I remember taking all of it, and you were there every time."

"I suppose so" he said, lightly kissing her forehead. Leia yawned, and he responded simply, "I think you need to get some sleep though."

"Yeah, I guess" she laughed and then moved to the bed. Han didn't budge. "You going to go to sleep or are you just going to stand there all night?"

Moving towards the bed after her and climbing in the same way they had done in the medical bunk earlier, he wrapped his arms around her, being cautious of her bad arm.

"Thank you Han" Leia whispered.

"What are you thanking me for now?"

"For coming back."


	19. Day 19: Fear

Day 19: Fear

Leia opened her eyes, and noticed something different from how she had woken every other morning of her life. Not only did she sleep the entire night, something she hadn't done in a very long time, but she felt arms around her, protecting her from everything harmful. The arms of a certain scoundrel.

She shifted, turning to face him, his embrace loosening from around her. He slowly opened his eyes, looking at her, whispering, "Morning Sweetheart."

"Good morning Flyboy."

Han lightly kissed her forehead before tightening his embrace and speaking again, "sleep well?"

"Better than I have in years."

"Glad to know I could help."

Leia playfully hit the pilot, "Who said you helped? Maybe it was all those painkillers, they made me drowsy or something!"

"Now, I'm pretty sure it was me. You always seemed to sleep better when I was around."

"How do you know that? Did you watch me or something?"

"When I would check on you at night, you'd often fall asleep, and then I'd stay there for a while."

"Why would you do that? It's so…strange."

"Because you looked so peaceful, so calm."

"I suppose I wasn't much of that during the day, was I?"

"Not to me at least. You were always caught up in work, being a leader of the Rebellion."They were quiet for a few moments, but soon Han asked another question, "Why did you ask me to sleep here with you?"

"Truth?"

"Yeah" he answered back.

"Well, ever since Alderaan I've had nightmares, like the ones you used to help me with. And when you would comfort me at night back on the bases, I felt safe. I felt like…"

"Like the nightmares wouldn't come back?" he finished.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Were all of them about Alderaan?"

"Most of them. Sometimes about what my family was going through when it exploded, other times it's like I was there too. And sometimes I have nightmares…." She stopped.

"Nightmares about what Sweetheart?" he asked, holding her closer to his body.

"Nightmares about you."

"About me?"

"Yeah. That you die, the Vader kills you in front of me, makes me watch."

"Like they made you watch Alderaan?"

"Yeah" she said quietly.

"Hey, you know that's not going to happen. I won't let it happen" he soothed, his hand gently rubbing along her back.

"How are you going to stop them Han? Once Vader gets control, there's nothing you can do! I know! He tortured me…" she continued, her voice quavering as it grew quicker.

"Hey hey, wait a minute, he tortured you?"

"Yeah, on the death star."

"How?" he asked angrily.

"With the interrogation droid. Mostly needles, not much else."

"And then they made you watch?"

"That was more Tarkin than Vader, but yes."

Han could feel her physically shaking, and he tried to make it stop, "It's alright, they can't hurt you here. I've got you." Leia struggled to keep herself composed as she buried her head in-between Han's shoulder and neck. Han continued to slowly rub circles on her back, calming her as she let out a few tears.

"I'm scared Han" she finally whispered.

"Of what Sweetheart?"

"I don't even know" she admitted angrily, lifting her face from his shoulder to look at him.

"Well if you're afraid, there's got to be something you're afraid of, right?"

"I suppose. But I don't know exactly what it is. If it's of the memory of Alderaan, or of Vader, or of losing you."

* * *

><p>After lunch, Leia made her way into the main hold, her data pad in hand. Han had allowed her to take the sling off her arm, but it still hurt every so often. Han followed her into the room.<p>

"Well that was an interesting meal."

"If you call rations interesting" she laughed.

"I suppose you've got a point there. Rations are never interesting."

"I'm right a lot of the time."

"Except for when you try to tell me that you don't love me."

"How do you know I'm not right?"

"Because I know these things Sweetheart."

"Sure you do Flyboy" she said, pulling away from him and settling herself on the edge of the oversized chair.

"What'cha got there Princess?"

"A data pad."

"And where did you get that from?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

"I found it when I was cleaning at the beginning of the trip, I've been using it ever since. You didn't notice?"

"Can't say I did. I am curious about what you might be using it for. Writing romantic poetry?"

"Nope" she laughed. "Guess again."

"Let's see, Ah, I've got it…you're writing about how annoying Goldenrod is."

"Wrong again."

"Let's be serious here, you're writing about me, aren't you?"

Leia blushed, "Where did you get an idea like that?"

"Maybe from the fact that you're blushing" he laughed.

"I'm not! You…" she got up, "…you…Nerfherder!"

"Hey, what's all this?" he asked, standing next to her.

"What's what?"

"This arguing. We both know by now that there's something between us, whatever it is."

"Doesn't mean I'm writing about you!"

"But you wouldn't be denying it if you weren't lying."

"You're so frustrating sometimes."

"I know."

"Why?"

"Because you're cute when you're mad."

"And you're…wait, what?"

"You heard me."

"You think I'm cute? When I'm mad?"

"That's what I said, isn't it Sweetheart?" he said, taking a step closer to her and taking the data pad from her hands, setting it down on the nearby table.

"Why?"

"Because you're all riled up, and your eyes look like they're on fire" he continued, moving closer to her with every passing moment.

"On fire?"

Han nodded lightly, "and then when I get close to you, you get afraid and start shaking…"

"I'm not afraid."

"You say that every time" he finished before finally kissing her. She pressed back against him, deepening the kiss, her arms moving around his neck. One of his hands pressed on her lower back, bringing her closer to his body. Eventually Leia pulled away, but they stayed just centims away.

"I know" she said simply before pulling him back into another kiss.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_5th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Han knows about this journal._

_I suppose he probably would have figured it out sooner or later anyway, but it's just different knowing he knows. Before it was like I could write anything in here and the only one who would ever see this would be me, but somewhere in the back of my mind, there was always that possibility that Han would see it, or someone else for that same matter._

_But now that I know he knows, I guess I'm expecting to answer a shipload of cocky questions from him, like his earlier, "What ya writin' about?" or something like that._

_Speaking of the Captain, he just walked into the galley, and he's watching me. I decided a few minutes ago that since he knows about this data pad, there's no sense in hiding the fact that I'm writing something on here instead of just using it to read or something. Now he's started in a slew of new questions…_

_"You got a passcode on that thing?" I said yes._

_"Are ya going to tell me what it is?" I said no._

_"It's scoundrel, right? That's the passcode." No._

_How would that even work for a passcode? I mean, it can only be a few letters long on this thing, it's not new. Doesn't have a thumb scan or anything, just a short and simple letter passcode._

_"What kind of stuff to you write about me?"_

_These last 20 days are going to feel like forever._

* * *

><p>Han walked into the Cockpit to flip a few switches so he could get to work on the reflector shield that had been damaged again during the battle with the Rogues, and found Chewie sitting watch.<p>

"What'cha doing in here Pal?"

**[I figured it would be a good idea for someone to watch the cockpit in case there are more rogues out there.]**

"I suppose so. We could do shifts, at least for a while, if you want. Four hours each?"

**[Even the droid?]**

"I guess so, not that I like it, but we need some sleep once and a while, plus, it'd be nice to have us all working at once sometimes."

**[Sounds fine. I just got in here, so I can start now, think the Princess would take the next one?]**

"I'll check with her when I go back out, she's in the galley."

**[Things are ok between you?]**

"Yeah" Han said, smiling. Chewie looked at him sideways, "What?"

**[You're smiling.]**

"Can't a guy smile around here?"

**[You generally don't smile like **_**that.**_**]**

"Ok, you got me. She asked me to sleep with her last night." The wookiee gave him a strange look, "Not like that you big fuzzball! She just wanted me to sleep next to her."

**[Did she seriously ask you or did you just climb in against her will?]**

"She seriously asked me."

**[That seems very much unlike the Princess.]**

"It seems a lot like her to me Chewie, she just never has shown that side of herself before. She's so afraid of everything."

**[The Princess has been through a lot Cub, she has a right to be afraid.]**

"Afraid of losing me?"

**[She's afraid of losing you?]**

"She said she's had nightmares about me being taken by Vader and then killed before her eyes. Where in the galaxy does a person pick up nightmares like that?" he asked, sitting in his seat opposite of Chewie.

**[She was forced to watch Alderaan correct?]**

"Yeah."

**[The Princess feels the same way about you as she did about Alderaan, and she remembers having to watch. Because of the way she feels about you, she believes that you will be taken from her in the same fashion as Alderaan was.]**

"You think so?"

**[I know so Cub.]**

* * *

><p>"Hey Sweetheart."<p>

"Hey Flyboy" she responded, looking up from her data pad.

"I just saw Chewie in the cockpit and he figured it would be a good idea if one of us kept watch in case we have any other rogues after us. I agree. If there's anyone after us, I want to know about it."

"Sounds good. Are we doing shifts or something?"

"Yeah, Chewie's taking the first one right now, and we figured you could take the next one, if that's alright with you. I'm going to head back to the main hold and work on the shields."

"That's fine by me. Do you need some help in the meantime?"

"I wouldn't mind some help, if that's what you're asking" he said, watching her get up from her spot in the chair.

"Well then I'll come and help, because I don't have much else to do at the moment anyway. I hate feeling useless."

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't really know what you can help with. With your arm and all, there's…"

"My arm is fine Han" Leia interrupted. "There has to be something that I can do to help."

They walked into the main hold, and Han moved towards the hole in the floor. "I've got to go down there again, you could hand me stuff like normal again."

"Sounds better than doing nothing all day." Han let himself down into the hole and Leia sat with her legs over the side, just like the other times. "So do you think there's a real danger of more attacks between here and Bespin."

Han looked up at her, "No, but there's no harm in keeping watching. There's four of us, so it shouldn't be too hard."

"Four?" she asked. "You're letting 3P0 keep watch?"

"Don't have much choice. It gives us each a full night of sleep. Chewie can watch in the morning, you can watch in the afternoon and I'll watch in the evening. That leaves the end of the day for us to watch a holo or something and then get some sleep."

"You're not just letting him watch, you're letting him watch all night long?"

"It's against my better judgement, but like I said, we don't have much of a choice. Could you hand me the hydrospanner?"

Leia handed him the object, and then asked, "So what exactly do you have to do to fix the shields?"

"Didn't know you were so interested in mechanics Sweetheart."

"I used to help Captain Antillies when I was little. My dad always said it was good for me to have some knowledge of the stuff."

"I know you can blast, but can you fly?"

"A little, not much though, and certainly not like you."

"If that was a compliment, thank you. Did you ever think about learning?"

"A few times, especially once I joined the Rebellion. I figured it would help out a lot sometimes, but I never got time to learn."

"We've got plenty of time for you to learn now you know. I'll show you sometime if you want."

"Me, pilot the Falcon?" she asked, almost laughing.

"Yeah, why not. We're in the middle of open space with nothing much else to do, so what's the harm?"

"I suppose, but not right now, we need to work on these shields first, right?"

"Right, that way if you run into anything we'll be safe."

"Han, I'm pretty sure the shields only protect us from blaster fire, not running into things."

"See you're learning already!" he kidded, ducking back down.

"You never did tell me exactly what you are doing" Leia said, causing Han to move back to where he could see her.

"I guess I didn't" he said, and turned away for a moment, thinking. "How about you come down here and I'll show you?"

"And how am I going to get down there? I'm not exactly tall enough to get down without hurting myself."

"I'm already down here, I'll help you. Come on" he said, motioning to her. "I'll catch you."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now come on."

Leia scooted closer to the edge and then dropped into Han's arms. She was still well above his head, his arms looped around her thighs. "Are you going to put me down?"

"In a minute."

Leia let her arms fall to rest on his shoulders, and she leaned down to his head and kissed him, "How about now?"

"I suppose" he responded, moving his arms so she slowly slid down tight against him, so she eventually stood on her feet. His arms were still wrapped around her back, and he instantly leaned down to her again. She was ready, standing on her tip toes to meet him, their lips locking in a heated kiss.

Leia eventually pulled away, "Han, this isn't getting any work done."

"Who said we had to get work done?"

"You did Nerfherder, but I suppose we have the rest of the trip until Bespin."

"You're saying you don't want to work anymore?" Han asked, kissing her again.

"Well, I like this kind of work much better" she said in-between kisses, and then she found herself pushed up against the side of the hole, Han's lips on hers, his hands roaming her body, and she had no intention of stopping him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/05/3902**_

_**Gods that girl can kiss. I never thought she would be that way, considering I figured she probably had never kissed anyone before, other than maybe her mom and dad in that family way, but either she really has kissed someone before or she sure picks up on things fast.**_

_**I can't really remember such a heated kiss, and boy, have I kissed before. But this felt different. Leia was never one to respond to my cocky antics, but she was kissing me just as much as I was kissing her, And the most surprising thing, she didn't back out. Normally, she gets into it for a while, and then suddenly backs out, and I know exactly why. It's because she's never done this kind of thing before, and she's afraid.**_

_**But I entirely plan on showing her that there's no reason to be afraid, no reason to be afraid of these things, or of us, or most importantly, of me.**_

* * *

><p>"Whatever you do, don't touch anything. If you see anything strange, come find me. I'll be in the cabin."<p>

"Captain Solo, may I inquire which cabin you will be staying in? I noticed that you shared a cabin with Mistress Leia last night instead of your usual sleeping location of the crew quarters."

"I'll be…check the quarters first and then Leia's cabin…or better yet, just yell or something. Got it…remember, don't touch anything!"

"Of course Captain Solo, I wouldn't dream of…" the droid started before being cut off as Han walked out of the cockpit and shut the door.

He wondered himself which of the cabins he would be sleeping in that night. Would Leia ask him to stay again, or would she back out and tell him to sleep in the crew quarters. Figuring there was only one way to find out, he knocked on Leia's door. "Sweetheart, you in there?"

"Yeah, just a minute" came the answer, muffled through the door. A moment later it opened, Leia standing on the other side, hair in a damp braid down her back and another of his oversized shirts on, but this one hung off her shoulder a bit. "Hi Flyboy" she said happily.

"You sound happy Sweetheart, what's the occasion?"

"Nothing, I just love the feeling I have after taking a hot shower. I'm so glad you have a real water shower installed here."

"Yeah, me too" he admitted. "I think I would have died back on Hoth without it." Leia laughed. "What?" he asked.

"I should have snuck on here and used your shower when we were on Hoth, it would have been brilliant! I can't believe I didn't think of it."

"Well you could have, you are welcome here any time, you know that."

"Yeah, I just didn't realize I could have gotten warm on the never-ending planet of cold" she said, making them both laugh. "So what are you up to?"

"I just got back from giving Goldenrod instructions on how to watch the cockpit all night."

"You really trust him to do that?"

"No" he said simply, "but he did ask a good question."

"Which would be?"

"Where I was sleeping."

"Oh, I suppose…" she started, but then stopped.

"Hey, remember, I'm not pushing you into anything you don't want, if you want me to sleep in the crew bunks, then I will."

"I don't want you to Han."

"So you want me to stay here?"

"Yes" she said quietly.

"Hey, this shouldn't be awkward like this Leia. I want to sleep here with you because it's what you really want, not because you are doing it for me."

"But I really do want you to sleep here Han. I liked waking up in your arms these last two mornings. I want to wake up like that every day."

"Then why are you acting like that?"

Leia didn't give an answer, just a kiss, her hands once again on his face, pulling him towards her. When she pulled away, she asked, "Is that a good enough reason for you?"

"No, but if it's all you're willing to give me now, then I'm fine with it. I'll be right back, ok?"

"Alright" she responded, watching him leave.

As Han left to go change, she sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands, and she stayed like that for a moment before swinging her legs into the bed and curling up on her side. She looked up when the door cycled back open.

"You look like you're all ready for bed" Han said as he moved to her. He was wearing the same sleep clothes as the night before, and he moved into the bunk beside her, enveloping her in his warm arms.

"I am, it's been another long day."

"Of course, because we did so much work today."

"Seemed like pretty tiring work to me."

"Whatever you say Sweetheart" she said, lightly kissing the hair on the top of her head. "Goodnight Princess" he sighed, closing his eyes.

"Goodnight" she returned.


	20. Day 20: Halfway

Day 20: Halfway

"Captain Solo! Captain Solo! Where are you?" yelled the electronic voice of C-3P0. Han groaned and shifted in the bed.

"What's he doing this early?" asked Leia with a groggy voice, "Isn't he supposed to be watching the cockpit?"

"Yeah, and something must be wrong if he's looking for me."

"Think it's serious?"

"Honestly, no, but he won't shut up until I go out there" he said, sitting up and climbing over the bed. He leaned down to gently kiss Leia before leaving, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting" she said, yawning and then snuggling back into the warmth of the blankets still surrounding her.

Han walked over to the door and palmed it open, squinting his eyes at the bright light coming from the hallway. "Goldenrod, this had better be good" he yelled, and he heard the faint laughter of Leia before he walked out of the cabin and towards the main hold.

"Oh Captain Solo, there you are! I was afraid I would never find you!"

"I told you to check in the crew quarters first, and then check in Leia's cabin, right?"

"Why yes Captain Solo, but you also told me to simply yell out for you if there was any trouble."

Han groaned again, remembering his instructions from the previous night, "Ok, so is there some kind of trouble then?"

"I believe so sir, I noticed during the night that there was a strange signal coming in and out of range several times. I fear we may have a follower."

"Not this ship Goldenrod. The system sometimes does that, it's totally normal. I've seen it before, where a piece of space junk comes near us and the Falcon's system picks it up as another ship."

"Don't you feel that is a dangerous error to have in the system? If there were really to be a ship…"

"Look Goldenrod, I said I've seen this before. It's not an emergency, now I suggest you head back to the cockpit and start your watch again, because it's way too early for any of us to be up. I'm going back to bed."

"Don't you even feel you should just…"

"No."

"But sir!"

"I said no!" Han said, leaving the droid behind and going back to his cabin.

Once inside, Leia asked, "What was that all about?"

"Something about seeing something on the system."

"Like someone following us?"

"Yeah, something like that" he said, climbing into bed next to her once again and pulling the covers over them both.

"Don't you think you should at least check it out?"

"Nah, I see that kind of stuff all the time. It's not really odd, just some space junk flying near us and it picked up on the system."

"Well, as long as you know what you're doing. Where's 3P0 now?"

"I sent him back to the cockpit, told him it was too early to be getting up or annoying us."

"You said that?"

"Well not the part about him being annoying."

"You realize this really isn't his fault, right?"

"What are you talking about? That droid…."

"Well you were the one who put him in charge of watching the cockpit, he didn't put himself in charge."

"Yeah…"

"And you were the one who told him to yell for you."

"Alright, enough, enough. Why don't you just go back to sleep?"

"Because I want the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so,'" she finished.

"Just go back to sleep already, will ya?"

* * *

><p>"You know what Flyboy" Leia said as she stepped out of the 'fresher and moved to the nearby dresser, "we never did finish cleaning out your cabinet.<p>

"Yeah, everytime we try one of us gets upset. I'm starting to think it's a bad idea altogether."

Leia turned around from putting away the shirt she had used to sleep in and noticed that Han was shirtless, changing into his regular clothes. "Yeah," she started, completely engrossed in looking at his chest, how the muscles were perfectly formed.

Han smiled, "If this is your reaction, I should take my shirt off much more often."

"Ye…I mean…what?"

"You were just standing there looking at me like you'd never seen me without a shirt before."

"I was not" she returned.

"Then what were you looking at?"

"The cabinet, that's what I was talking about, right? You were in the cabinet, and I was talking about cleaning it out, and so I was looking at it."

"Then why weren't you blinking?"

"Because I didn't feel like blinking, ok?"

"Whatever you say Your Worship" he finished.

"I told you to stop calling me that, and we really should continue going through the cabinet. I'm getting bored and figured you might have another book I could read."

"I'm sure that's possible. Why don't we go get some food first though, I'm starved. We can go through the cabinet tonight after I'm done with my watch."

"I have to wait all day?"

"Yep" he said, pulling on a shirt and moving towards the door.

"But what am I supposed to do while I sit in the cockpit for four hours?"

"Write romantic poetry."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_6th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_According to Han, I am supposed to spend the next four hours writing romantic poetry…which will not be happening. I read some of that once, and honestly, it was terrible. That was years ago, probably back when Winter was into poetry and she forced me to read some with her. It was torture. Even so, I'm sure it's not any better today than it was way back then._

_So I figure I'll make a list of things I might be able to do while I sit in this room for hours every day between now and Bespin. Speaking of the trip, it's officially half over now, and I guess I'm sad at the same time as I am happy. Sad because that means it will be the end of this "do nothing" time I've had, and Han will be leaving, but happy at the same time because I'll be able to breathe fresh air…and get rid of that incredibly annoying droid. I told Han it was a bad idea to let him keep watch, but I suppose it's better than having to sleep without my scoundrel all the time. It's just so much warmer when he's there…and I feel like I'll never be cold again. Wait, did I just call him my scoundrel? Where did that come from?_

_Anyway, so things I could do while on watch. I want to find a new book or two to read, because that's probably how I would enjoy spending my time. I could always write in this journal, but I'm already doing that, so what would the difference be? Wait a moment, 3P0 said that Han's logs are put into the computer mainly though the cockpit system computer, so if I could just crack his password, I could spend time reading those. His password can't be too hard to crack, but it will take some time. Other than that I could do some work for the Alliance, although it is very limited what I can do at this point because I have been gone for so long. Even so, there are some things I could get done here._

_It has officially been 20 minutes since the beginning of my shift…only another three hours and 40 minutes to go. This is going to be a long afternoon._

* * *

><p>"Here to relieve you of your shift Sweetheart" Han said, walking into the cockpit.<p>

"Finally!" she sighed, "These were the four longest hours of my life!"

"Even longer than during the battle against the death star?"

"Ok, maybe that _felt_ longer, but this _was_ longer Flyboy."

He sat down in the captain's chair across from Leia, "So what have you been doing all afternoon?"

"Writing romantic poetry" she teased.

"Are you going to let me read some of it?"

"Not in this lifetime."

"Well I'll just have to figure out another way to read it, without you knowing about it."

"Good luck with that Flyboy."

"Are we still on for cabinet cleaning?" he asked.

"I am as long as you are. I need a new book to read soon or I might die during these shifts."

"Well we all have to sit through them you know."

"Yeah, but that still doesn't make it any less boring."

"I guess" he finished. "Hey, why don't you go get something to eat, I'm sure you're starving. I know I am!"

"You didn't eat anything before coming in here?"

"That generally is the reason I am hungry, because I didn't eat anything."

Leia stood up and stretched, "Well, I'll go get some food and bring it back, and maybe I'll share."

"Well of course you would share! What else would you do?"

"Sit here and make you watch while I eat" she teased, walking out of the cockpit, laughing.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/06/3902**_

_**Now we're stuck with these stupid shifts. I hate it when it comes to this, but what else could we do? If someone is coming to blow up my ship, I want to know about it. I have to admit though, it probably wasn't my best idea to let Goldenrod watch all night long, but what else was I supposed to do? I certainly don't want to sleep in four hour shifts, I want to sleep all night…and preferably with Leia in my arms.**_

_**I'm amazed at the change in her on this trip, even if just so far. With it being halfway to Bespin, I've seen her go from a girl attempting suicide to a complete version of what she used to be, the Leia that she was before the Rebellion, before Alderaan, before I knew her. Or maybe it's what she could be.**_

_**Maybe I'm just writing this because I'm bored out of my mind, or maybe it's because it really is true, but Leia is an amazing woman. She never fails to amaze me with her witty comebacks, and her stories of the Rebellion, and of her life on Alderaan. And then there are those moments when she really is adorable because she's so angry with me that she doesn't know what to do.**_

_**I love the way her hair is always put up in intricate braids, but I have to say…I like it down even more. I love how short she is compared to me, but her personality is just as tall. How she is able to get over anything and everything and just take it in stride, but how she accepts help when she truly needs it. She's a great, natural leader, more-so than I could ever be. She jumps into her role at the head of the Rebellion without thinking, and I can only imagine what she must have been like in the senate.**_

_**Leia always treats everyone with respect, even Goldenrod…although I know she not-so secretly hates him, she told me herself. How even though she knows that we are closer now than we ever were, she tries to deny it, although there is no point in doing so. I love how when she got on this ship at the beginning of this journey, she had nothing but the clothes on her back, and she jumped right in to the normality of my life with Chewie, and how she never even complained about wearing my clothes.**_

_**There are so many things I love about Leia, and I'm pretty sure I could never list them all here, because I could go on forever. But she doesn't need to know that…because I will deny my writings about her as long as she denies her writings about me.**_

_**Plus, it's not like she's ever going to read this anyway.**_

* * *

><p>"Hey Flyboy" Leia said as he walked in the cabin. She had been sitting on the bed, typing away at something on her data pad. "Goldenrod in the cockpit?"<p>

"Now you're calling him that!" he laughed, "and yeah, but I told him to only find us if it was a real emergency this time...and that he should just look here instead of yelling."

"I suppose Chewie wasn't very happy. He looked pretty worn this morning."

Han sat down next to her on the bed, "Yeah, that's what happens when you wake a wookiee from his beauty sleep!"

"Remind me to never do that unless it's absolutely necessary" she said, sitting up so she was next to him.

"I'll try my best, but Chewie would never get mad at your for it. Goldenrod on the other hand, is another story."

"I heard him threatening to make him a part of the hull the other day" she laughed.

"Goldenrod as part of the hull….now there's an idea!"

Leia playfully punched him, "You know you can't do that! Luke would probably kill you!"

"I don't know about that Sweetheart, the Kid has showed some dislike of the droid himself."

"I suppose he is rather annoying, isn't he?"

"You said it Princess. Now how about we get around to cleaning out the rest of that cabinet?"

"Sure" she said, getting up from the bed and putting the data pad on the desk across the room.

Han got up and opened the cabinet, pulling out the stack they had abandoned the last time, "I'm sure there's a book or two in here you can read, and there might be some data chips with other stuff on them in one of the smuggling compartments too."

"You use smuggling compartments to hold data chips? I thought they were for smuggling…or don't you understand what that means" she kidded.

"I use most of them for smuggling, or did at least, when I was a smuggler. I'm more presentable now."

"Or so you think" she said, pulling out several books from the stack he had put on the bed.

"You have a point. I can't be too presentable because then I wouldn't be a scoundrel, and that means you wouldn't like me. But since you obviously like me, I must be a scoundrel, meaning I am not presentable."

"I thought I said I liked nice men."

"Now come on Sweetheart, we both know that's not true."

"Oh it's very true indeed. But you're right, I do like you, so I guess that makes you a nice man. That or you're right, I like scoundrels."

"Told you so."

"That's pay back for this morning, isn't it?"

"You bet it is" he laughed. "Did you find any books?"

"Yeah, I guess I can read these, not the normal books I like to read, but at least it's not an instruction manual for the Falcon."

"I have one of those?" Han asked, turning towards her and away from the cabinet, where he was searching though the lower bins.

"Yeah, I found it the other day. Maybe if you'd look at it once and a while we wouldn't be stuck here!"

"Not much I can do to fix a broken hyperdrive Sweetheart…and most of this isn't my fault! Chewie took half the ship apart right before we were going to leave Hoth."

"Don't blame this on your Co-Pilot! You are responsible for him too, but either way, at least this trip has given me some time off."

"Yeah, it's probably good for you more than anything."

"I suppose, although it's not good for me to be gone from the Alliance for so long."

"I'm sure they'll be fine without you for a while. Everyone needs a break every so often!"

"Whatever you say Flyboy. Did you find anything interesting over there?"

"Not really, just some old papers and stuff."

"Any romantic poetry stuck in there?"

"Nope, I don't think so, but you still didn't share any of yours with me."

"I told you I'm not going to share!"

"I'll share some of mine if you share some of yours."

"You? Write romantic poetry? You've got to be kidding."

"I generally don't Princess, but it sounds like you may be issuing a challenge."

"And if I am?"

"Then it's on."

"Alright. I, Leia Organa, challenge you, Han Solo, to write a piece of romantic poetry."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you have to…do whatever I say for an entire day."

"Fair enough. And if I win?"

"I'll make us dinner."

"I don't know Sweetheart, from what you said, it sounds like you don't have a very good track record with cooking."

"Well you were the one that wanted me to cook!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't seem like enough."

"Well what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of…" he started, a smile appearing across his face.

"Absolutely not."

"How do you even know what I was going to say?" he asked, still smiling.

"Because it's you Han…what else would you suggest?"

"I don't know…what about letting me read a journal entry?"

Leia seemed to ponder this for a moment, "Fine" she finally answered, "But I get to pick which one."

"But you have to have already written it, otherwise you could write something totally normal and then have me read that one."

"Fine" she muttered. "Not that I have anything to worry about though, because I'll win."

"In your dreams Sweetheart."


	21. Day 21: Helping

Day 21: Helping

"Morning Chewie" Leia said happily as she walked into the galley to find breakfast, "not in the cockpit yet?"

**[No, I figured I should eat something before I relieve 3P0 from his post…keeps him out of our hair a little longer anyway.]**

"At least he didn't wake us all up this morning like he did yesterday" she pointed out.

**[True Princess, I was not a happy Wookiee yesterday because of it either.]**

"Han noticed, said something about never waking you up as it was a bad idea to do so."

**[And he'd be right, although you are more than welcome to wake me up if you have too, although I do not enjoy being woken for silly reasons.]**

"I don't plan on waking you up unless I have to, and that goes for you waking me up too. Agreed?"

**[Fine by me]** he answered back. Leia sat down with a ration on the bench across from Chewie and sighed. **[Is something the matter Princess?]**

"No. Actually, everything's perfect for once."

**[Because you and Han are not fighting, or because you spend every night sleeping next to him, or…]**

"All of that I guess. Plus, I just made a bet with him, and I am going to win…for sure" she said before taking a bite of her ration bar.

**[A bet? Solo is generally quite good at winning those. What did you bet him?]**

"That if he wrote romantic poetry I'd let him read a journal entry. If I win, he has to do whatever I want for a whole day."

**[And he agreed to this?]**

"Yeah, and he's never going to read my journal, I can guarantee that!" Chewie laughed. "What?"

**[I hope you know what you're doing Princess.]**

"Why?"

**[Because Han has been known to write fairly well, better than you might think.]**

"But romantic poetry? That's never going to happen!"

**[Whatever you think, but just be aware that you might be letting him into your journal sooner than you think]** he said, getting up. **[I'm going to release that droid from his captivity.]**

"Alright" Leia said, staring into blank space as she tried to figure out what the Wookiee meant.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/07/3902**_

_**I am SO going to win this bet!**_

_**Leia had better get her journal entry ready for me to read, cause I am going to win…and that's that. Granted, I've never written any romantic poetry before, but how hard can it be?**_

_**I think once Chewie wrote some weird stuff like that for Malla, or she wrote some for him…not sure, but it's pretty popular stuff, even if I hate it. I remember trying to read them once because I was bored out of my mind when I first started piloting, and I threw it out the darn airlock it was so bad.**_

_**On the other hand, It really can't be too hard to write the stuff, since it seemed to be that anyone could write that stuff easily. I figure I'll just sit down while Leia's in the cockpit and try to write, because that's the one time of day I KNOW she won't be around…and I figure she shouldn't be around, because then I keep her on her toes. She probably is sitting somewhere right now thinking about how she's so smart for issuing this bet and is going to win and what she's going to make me do.**_

_**Now…how do I start one of these poems?**_

* * *

><p><strong>[Trying to write some poetry Cub?]<strong>

"How do you know about that?" Han asked, looking up from the data pad sitting in front of him on the table. His hair was messed, as if he had been running his fingers through it for hours. "Leia told you, didn't she?"

**[That's right Cub. It's not like the Princess to keep secrets from me, so of course she said something.]**

"So she told you about when we were in the bedroom and…"

**[Of course she didn't tell me that!]**

"Well why not, she sure seemed to enjoy it when…"

**[NO! I don't even want to hear it Cub.]**

Han sat at the table laughing, "I'm just kidding Pal. I love your reaction though!"

**[Sometimes I wonder why I pledged a life debt to you.]**

"Now come on, that hurts Chewie! It hurts!"

**[So how's the poetry coming?]** he asked, changing the subject.

Han ran his hand through his hair again, sighing, "Not good. I've been at this for hours…and I've got pretty much nothing."

**[Do you have anything?]**

"A little, but I can't really see Leia liking it. It's not her style."

**[She didn't say she had to like it, just that you have to write it.]**

"Well sure, but I'd still like her to like it…I mean, if I'm writing this stuff I might as well make her fall into my arms or something because of it."

**[Is that what you think is going to happen? The Princess will fall into your arms?]**

"Of course not, but you get the idea. I think she should at least be a little shocked that I could write something like that…something she likes."

**[Whatever Cub, but remember, the Princess loves you for you, not for your poetry writing skills.]**

"Well there's no harm in trying, right?"

**[And what exactly are you trying to do here Han? What do you want this poetry to accomplish?]**

"I don't know, but I'm starting to feel like these questions are harder to answer than it is to write poetry."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_7th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Well, I have to admit, there is a slight chance that Han might actually pull this thing off…at least that's what Chewie says. Honestly, I feel like he won't do it, but that doesn't mean that he can't, just that he won't. It's Han for crying out loud, HAN! He's never been the type of guy to write that stuff, at least to a point where I can consider it even being that stuff (not that I'm really sure what "it" is supposed to be), but he does, on the other hand, like competition, so this is just his thing._

_So what happens if I do end up losing, which I won't, but if I do, I have to choose a journal entry for Han to read…and I have no idea what to do about it. Of course, he was smart and said I had to pick a journal entry written before this bet, just so it was fair because otherwise I could be sitting here and writing something completely different, like something for the alliance instead of what I normally write, which is…I suppose, about Han. That's what he wants to see, and if, on the slight chance, I lose then that's exactly what he'll be getting._

_Too bad he has no idea that I'm working on cracking his passcode on the log system. Pretty soon I'll have his entire journal…and data pad…available to me! I haven't figured out what it is yet, but when I do, I'm going to have a joyous time reading through them. I am starting to think that hanging around Han has passed off some bad habits on me, I never before thought of being as evil as to break into someone else's private journal, since I wouldn't want that to happen to me, if I had ever kept one that is. But then again, it is Han, and if he's going to read my journal, which I said he's not…cause I'm going to win, I am most certainly going to read his…hopefully without Goldenrod's help._

* * *

><p>"Hey, either of you up for a Holofilm?" Han asked as he walked into the main hold, finding Leia and Chewie already there.<p>

"Sure, why not?"

**[Fine with me Cub.]**

"Chewie, if you could get it set up I'll get something for us to eat" he continued, and the Wookiee stood and moved to get the holoprojector set up.

"Anything I can do Flyboy?" Leia asked.

"Not right now, although if you want to help me carry this stuff out when I'm done that would be fine."

"Sounds good" she said, "What exactly are we having anyway?"

"Corellian stew, my favorite."

"I know" she said, "You've only told me everytime we have it!"

"Yeah, but I'm not kidding, it really is my favorite!"

"I believe you" Leia said, picking up the first bowl and bringing it over to where Han was standing preparing the stew.

"What's your favorite food?" he asked, turning to face her.

"I don't know. My dad gave me some Sweet Ice once, and I loved that, but it was only the one time. I never had it again, even though I always asked for it."

"Never even heard of it, but I'm sure that if you loved it, I would too."

Leia blushed and turned to get the next bowl and bring it to him, but before she could turn back around she felt his arms wrap around her waist, "I meant that you know" he said, whispering into her ear.

"I know you did" she answered him, barely a whisper. His mouth moved as he began to lightly kiss her ear and her neck. Slowly she turned to face him, standing on her tip toes to reach him, sealing their lips in a heated kiss. He slowly backed her up so she was against the counter behind them, but the alarm buzzer on the range went off, causing Han to grown as he moved back toward the stew.

Still blushing Leia grabbed the remaining bowls and brought them over to Han, where he quickly filled them with the spicy stew and helped her carry them out into the main hold.

**[Smells good Cub]** Chewie said as they walked into the room. He had the holo-projector already set up and a movie starting. Han handed him his bowl of soup before joining Leia on the bench.

The movie was Easy Spacer, a regular film, not that Leia saw much of it. After finishing their stew, Han grabbed the dishes and put them in the galley before rejoining Leia. Throughout what felt like five minutes Leia found Han moving closer and closer to her, until she finally gave in and kissed him. By the time the lights of the holo-projector went out, she was sitting in his lap, his mouth once again on her neck. Chewie had left, probably annoyed by the noise the two had been making, and Leia hadn't seen any of the movie.

"Han, we probably should go to bed" she said, putting her hand on his chest to move him away.

"Just because the movie is over doesn't mean this has to be" he said, his voice much lower than it normally was.

"I know that, but I'm tired, and I just figured…"

Han stood, holding on to Leia and he did so, his arms falling to her back and underneath her legs, holding her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a light peck on the lips. "Say no more Sweetheart, I'm getting pretty tired too" he said, moving out of the room and back towards the cabin. Once there he gently sat Leia down on the bed.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"What was what for Princess?"

"Why did you carry me in here? I can walk just fine you know!"

"I just felt like carrying you, is there something wrong with that?"

"No, I liked it, it was just…different. I've never been carried that way before."

"Well I guess I'm just a guy of first's huh?" he asked, grabbing his sleepwear from the dresser across the room and moving towards the 'fresher.

"Yeah" she said, blushing, "You going to use the fresher?"

"I was going to, but if you want to go first…"

"No, that's ok, I'll just change out here quickly and get to bed, like I said, I'm tired."

"Whatever you say Sweetheart" he finished, ducking into the 'fresher and turning on the sonics.

Leia was already in bed when Han finished in the 'fresher, but the small light was still on. He threw his clothes on the pile waiting to go through the auto-valet, turned off the light and climbed into bed next to Leia. Her back was to him, but she suddenly moved, reaching over her shoulder and grabbing his arm, pulling him so he was wrapped around her.

He accepted her embrace, tightening his arms and resting his head gently against her own, breathing in the distinct scent of her hair.

"Han?" he heard her whisper.

"Yeah Sweetheart?"

"Did you actually write poetry?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out Princess."

"Whatever, but I'm still going to win."

"I don't know about that, but for now, how about we go to sleep" he mumbled before lightly kissing the hair against her head.

"Night Nerfherder."

"Night Your Worship."

* * *

><p>C-3P0 did not particularly enjoy sitting in the cockpit every night, all night, all alone, as he was a protocol droid, not a pilot, or a guard. He was created many years ago to help people, to translate in over six million forms of communication, to prepare meals, to provide company.<p>

But when he was situated on the Millennium Falcon, he was not a protocol droid, he was in danger of becoming part of the hull. That is why he hoped there would be no trouble during the night where he would need to wake Captain Solo and Chewbacca, that was bad enough the first time.

Figuring, as a good protocol droid should, that he could be of some help while sitting in the cockpit and waiting for ship's morning to arrive, he tapped into the Falcon's logs, wondering why the Princess had been so interested in them.

Yes, C-3P0 had met some strange people and creatures and droid in his lifespan so far, but he knew already that he would never understand human behavior. Reaching the previous log, 3P0 read on about romantic poetry.

Now this was something a protocol droid could help with.

Thanks to his highly extensive memory system, he had several of the most famous love poems in the history of the galaxy, and was more than ready to help Captain Solo, even if he had no idea why the Princess and Captain Solo had made such a silly bet. There were plenty of more important things to be doing than writing poetry and making silly bets.

And so, even with his dislike of Captain Solo, C-3P0 decided to search further into the system, even going as far as being able to tap into Solo's datapad, on which he had been writing said poetry for a large portion of the day.

Reading through it, he found several mistakes, and decided that it would be for the best for him to change it, therefore helping Captain Solo to win the bet, and maybe helping him get back on reasonable terms with the man.

Sometime later, C-3P0 had finished going through the poetry, and found that it was lovely. Similar to the poetry he had stored in his system, 3P0 felt that the words he had written out in the log of the data pad were lovely, and that Mistress Leia would greatly enjoy them.

With little else to do, the droid turned back to the stars, sitting quietly and monitoring the systems checks and grid scan for nearby danger, alone in the cockpit and worried that a trouble might arise, and that he might end up a part of the Millennium Falcon's hull.


	22. Day 22: The Winner

Day 22: The Winner

Han woke as he felt Leia shift beside him, her leg slowly moving to wrap around his own, her head settling softly against his chest. He heard her sigh, and he opened his eyes.

He looked at her, still asleep, so peaceful and quiet. He decided she looked younger, and placed a light kiss against her forehead.

Her eyes fluttered open, "Good morning" she yawned.

"Morning Sweetheart."

"Why are you staring at me?"

Han was silent for a moment, "Because you look different when you're asleep. Younger."

Leia's eyes met his own, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, but it sure reminds me how much older I am compared to you."

She gave a small laugh, "Yeah, I suppose you are a bit older than me."

"A bit? More like 15 years Princess."

"It's really that much?"

"I think so at least. If I'm 36 now, and you're 21, that makes 15."

Leia was silent, breaking her gaze into his eyes, "Gods."

Han laughed, "What? You don't like me now that I'm old?"

"No, it's just…my father would have killed me…or killed you."

He tightened his arms around her, "And why would he do that?"

"Because of how much older you are. Once I wanted to go on a date with this guy from my school, but he was two years older. I must have been about 15 at the time…and my father basically locked me up and told the guy to never lay his eyes on me again."

"He did all that because this kid was two years older?"

"At least that's what I overheard when he was talking to one of my aunts."

"You think he would have done the same thing to me now?"

Leia was quiet for a moment, as if wondering what her father might do, "No, he would trust me and my opinion, especially with everything I've been through. He would want me to be happy."

"And I make you happy?"

"More than anything else in this galaxy…other than maybe a hot shower."

"Well the same thing goes for you Sweetheart, except I think I'd rather live without a hot shower than live without you" he finished, kissing her forehead again, leaving them both in silence.

A few minutes later Leia moved to get up, "I suppose we should starting working. There are still repairs to get done, right?"

Han looked at her blankly, wondering why she had decided to abruptly get the day going when they had been so comfortable in the bed, "Yeah, there's some basic fixing to get done on the shields, just to improve them a bit that we could work on."

"Then let's get going Flyboy" she said, grabbing a fresh set of clothes and heading to the Fresher.

Han watched her go, and then moved to get out of bed himself, letting his legs casually hang off the side. He ran his fingers through his hair as he heard Leia turn the sonics on in the fresher. Groaning, he stood up and stretched, his back making a loud popping noise.

Slowly moving to get his clothes he pulled off his sleep clothes and pulled on the normal outfit he wore for repairs. Looking to the desk he saw Leia's data pad, and suddenly remembered the bet. He would have to finish the poem today if he wanted his plan to work.

The door of the Fresher opened suddenly, taking Han away from his thoughts. Turning toward the sound he found Leia, a towel wrapped around her midsection.

"Oh, I didn't think you would still be here" she said, blush rising up her body, "I forgot to grab a clean shirt."

"I was just leaving" he started, "If you want some privacy."

Leia took a breath, "No, stay if you want." Han could see she was visibly nervous, but she wasn't going to back down. He started to the door. "Han, wait…" she said, rushing to stop him. "You don't have to leave."

"It's for the better if I do, you need some privacy!" he insisted.

"But I don't want you to leave" Leia stated simply, looking into his eyes.

"Alright" he managed to say, turning towards the bed and sitting back down. Leia walked to the other side of the room and grabbed the shirt, moving back into the fresher, but leaving the door open. Han tried not to look, but out of the corner of his eye he could see her turned away from him, the towel dropping as she pulled on the clothes that were ten sizes too big. When she finished she walked back into the cabin, brush in hand.

"I was wondering if you would braid my hair again."

Han looked at her, "Yeah, sure" he said, grabbing the brush and motioning for her to sit. He ran the brush in long strokes across her hair, letting the knots and tangles free themselves as he went. "Why did you want ME to do your hair again?"

"Because it was so nice the last time, for me not having to it all myself."

"Did you always have someone else do it before?" he asked, setting the brush down and beginning a long braid down her back.

"When I was younger, yes. In the years since Alderaan, no. I've always done it all by myself, and it's so tiring."

"Then why do you put it in such intricate styles?"

"Because I feel I'm expected to. I always had to on Alderaan, and those that are in the Alliance from there would look at me as if I was crazy, so I just kept it up."

"Even though you don't like it?"

"Yeah, I much prefer your simple braiding, it's comfortable."

"Glad I can help Sweetheart" he said, finishing the braid and tying it off at the end. "Ready to get to work?"

"As ready as I'll ever be!"

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_8th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I'm not sure what I'm feeling anymore…at all. And I'm pretty sure I did something this morning I never thought I'd do. I told Han to stay while I changed…and I left the door open. Since when would I do something like that? And we were talking about my father this morning, which got me thinking._

_Would my father like Han? He was always so protective of me that at first glance he'd want to kill him, but after a while, if my father let him stick around, I feel like he would have grown to like Han. They're similar in so many ways. My father was always the adventurous type, looking to give me new experiences, but protecting me first and foremost. Han's the same way, always heading into the unknown, thinking on his feet. But at the same time, he's really just protecting me. Every time we get into some sort of sticky situation, it's because of me! And somehow, he's always gotten us out of it. That's something my father would definitely admire, even in a man like Han._

_But I know more than anything, my father wouldn't let me go out with that boy once because he knew I wouldn't be happy…that I would end up heartbroken. Yet would he prevent me from being with Han? Even though I am truly happy with him, there is still the heartbreak that awaits us at the end of this journey, when he leaves to pay off Jabba. And so maybe my father wouldn't want me to be with Han, because of that. I don't know what to do anymore…and I hate that I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Not my mother, or my father, or even Winter…although she survived the destruction of Alderaan, she still can't be here for me._

_This is a decision I have to make on my own._

* * *

><p>"What's going on Flyboy, and why can't I open my eyes?"<p>

"I told you, it's a secret…and you're going to love it."

"So more like a surprise?" she asked, her eyes clenched tight as Han led her through the halls of the Falcon.

"Yeah, I guess you could say so" he said as the door swished open.

"Where are we?"

"You'll see in a minute, wait here" he said, stopping her and then moving across the room. Leia waited for a moment, but she could hear sweet sounding music start.

"Han, what are you doing?" she asked again.

"How many times do I need to tell you to wait?" he laughed, "You'll see in just a second."

"Alright…one. That was a second, can I open them now?"

"No."

Leia groaned, wanting nothing but to open her eyes and see what Han was planning.

"Alright, now" he finally said, and she couldn't open her eyes fast enough.

Leia gasped as she saw the room. It was Han's cabin…or their cabin…but it was transformed. The desk and bed had been pushed slightly to the sides of the room, making a large area in the middle. A blanket was laid out on the metal floor, and a small meal was on the blanket. "A picnic?" she asked.

"Yeah, I thought you'd like it…it's a chance from the regular meal and, well, you know."

"And Chewie's ok with this?"

"Yeah, he's fine. Said something about if Malla was here he would do the same thing for her."

Leia blushed, "Well thank you, it's really thoughtful" she said, sitting down, motioning for Han to do the same. Once they were settled in on the blanket, plates of food settled in their laps, Leia asked, "So why did you really do this?"

"I told you…to mix things up" he insisted.

"We both know that's not true. You're up to something…I can tell."

"May I ask how you can tell these things Your Worship?"

"I just can tell…now spill it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, because I really just did this to be nice!"

Leia popped a berry into her mouth and stared at him, trying to read his expression, and tell if she should continue her questioning. Han's voice broke her thoughts.

"I love this song!"

"I never thought you were one for slower songs, Captain Solo" she said, pointing out the slow melody of the piece.

"Well then you thought wrong, see I told you. Now come on" he said, standing up.

"What are you doing?"

"Asking you to dance!"

"You can't possibly expect me to…" she started, but finished as Han pulled her up from the blanket and pressed her flush against his body.

"I know you can dance Sweetheart."

She looked into his eyes, and gave in, moving slowly with him to the music.

A few minutes later the song continued, "How long is this?"

"Almost over, but I have a surprise for you yet."

"Another one?"

"Yep" he said, the song ending. He released her and moved to the cabinet, gathering his data pad from inside. "I've finished my poetry."

"Oh you have?"

"You bet Sweetheart" he started, staring at the data pad as it turned on. Then he fell silent.

"What's wrong Flyboy?"

"This isn't what I wrote!"

"Well if it's on your data pad who else could have written it? Now come on, read!"

"I'm not reading this!"

"Let me see!" she said, grabbing the data pad from his hands. She read out loud.

_I love the way you touch me_  
><em>so soft and sensuously.<em>  
><em>It makes me tingle all over.<em>

_I love the way you kiss me._  
><em>It starts a fire deep down inside of me<em>  
><em>and makes me yearn for you even more.<em>

_I love the way you look at me._  
><em>It makes me feel beautiful and treasured.<em>  
><em>Most of all I love the way you love me.<em>

_When you walk in my whole day gets better._  
><em>And even when you're not with me<em>  
><em>you're in my thoughts always.<em>

_It doesn't matter what we don't have or what we do have._  
><em>The most important thing is we have each other<em>  
><em>and no one can take that away.<em>

_I am the luckiest woman in the world_  
><em>and I don't need or want anything<em>  
><em>but you beside me loving me to the end of our days.<em>

Leia laughed, "I didn't know you were writing from a woman's point of view Han!"

"I didn't write that! I told you! Hold on!" he said, grabbing the data pad back from her, "I'll just undo the recent editing…back to the way I…wrote it…there!"

"Alright, I'm listening Flyboy."

Han cleared his throat, "I've been in darkness for so long just waiting for the light, and now that you have come my way, my days don't seem like nights" he started. "I'm glad I'm finally overcome my fear of the other side, Thank you for showing me the way, by taking me on this ride."

He looked to Leia, her expression softening, and continued, "I've never really felt this way about a girl before, You're truly touched me deep inside, you've opened, unlocked the door. I know it's nothing serious, but surely it's a start, You've treated me so equally, I feel it in my heart."

Han could see light tears forming in Leia's eyes, but still he continued reading, "And even if this does not work, I'm glad I've had the chance. To see how great you truly are, even just for a glance. We never know what'll come of this, it really just depends, I'm glad we're taking the first step, we're becoming better friends. So hopefully from this day forth, I'll know just what to do, I'll hope and hope for ever more, that I shall never lose you."

When Han looked up again at Leia he saw the tears fresh in her eyes, and he reached out to touch her cheek.

"Han, that was…" she started as he rubbed the tears from under her eyes before slowly pulling her in to a kiss. It was soft at first, and then they pulled away, but Leia pulled him back, into a second kiss, this one forceful.

Han dropped the data pad and pulled Leia into his lap, his lips never leaving hers. Leia's fingers wound into the hair at the back of his head, pulling him as close to her as possible, as one of his hands moved to the small of her back, the other resting lightly on her hip.

A moan escaped Leia's mouth before she could stop it, and soon she felt Han's warm hand slip inside her shirt and run against her back. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. Slowly Han moved to stand, and she pulled away, suddenly aware of what was going on.

"I guess this means you win."

"Yeah, I guess so" he said simply.

"So I suppose you want to read one of my journal entries then."

"Nah, I think we can wait until tomorrow. It's getting late."

"Alright" she responding, standing up from his lap as she started picking up dishes from the blanket.

"I'll get those, you go get changed."

"Ok, I'm going to take a shower, as long as you're sure you don't want any help."

"Go ahead, I'm pretty sure I can handle carrying some dishes to the galley."

Leia laughed as she moved to the fresher.

* * *

><p>When Han came back from the Galley he found Leia still in the fresher, and he sat down on the bed. He heard the water shut off and the door swish open, revealing Leia once again in just a towel, but this time her hair was dripping wet.<p>

"You take long showers" he said, standing up and moving towards her.

"I like the warm water" she admitted, blushing. Han stood next to her, towering over her, "what are you doing?"

"What do you want me to be doing?"

"That wasn't the question."

"Do you know what you want me to be doing?"

"No" she said quietly.

"How about this?" he asked before pulling her into a forceful kiss.

Leia pulled away, "That sounds good," she said before kissing him again.

Han's hands ran along the towel that was wrapped around her body, all the way from her shoulders down to where the towel barely touched her thighs. "Wait, Han."

He pulled away, giving her space, "Yeah Sweetheart?"

"I can't do this."

His eyes met hers, full of understanding, "because you don't want to or because you're afraid?"

"I don't know, but I just can't right now" she finished, turning back around and moving into the fresher.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/08/3902**_

_**Stupid stupid stupid!**_

_**Why did you do that Solo? She wasn't ready! Now you probably scared her away! You've waited for three years for this girl, so why can't you wait a little longer?**_

_**Because it's been three years? Maybe that's why? When I got to the Alliance I had just about every girl on base after me, but I swore to not touch any of them. I wanted Leia…right from the start, and now I probably blew the whole thing.**_

_**What am I going to do? I know she's afraid, that she's a virgin, and has never had these experiences before. But I want to show her how much there is to look forward to, how much she can enjoy it, how I can take away her pain.**_

_**But maybe all I need to do is give her space, and wait. I know she wants this, she's just afraid, and that eventually she'll be ready.**_

_**I have to go take a very cold shower.**_


	23. Day 23: The Journal

Day 23: The Journal

When Leia opened her eyes and looked at the time, she realized it was still early, and Han wasn't in the bed with her. The previous night she had fallen asleep before he came back, but usually he did just that…come back, but tonight was different, he hadn't returned.

Swinging her legs off the bed into the chilly air she yawned and then quietly stood, moving towards the door. When it swished open she found the lights on dim, something that happened in the very early morning hours of a sleep schedule so members of the crew would be able to sleep better.

Walking down the hall, her bare feet making small sounds on the metal floor, she made her way to the Cockpit, the place she usually found Han when he wasn't anywhere else….and the only place he ever went other than the galley right before he went to bed.

She opened the door to the small room, where Han was slumped over, asleep in the Captain's chair. Leia laughed quietly, moving into the room and closing the door behind her.

Sitting down in the oversized Co-Pilot's chair, she looked at Han. Just as he had described her, she noticed how much younger he did indeed look. The small wrinkles that usually were formed along his forehead were gone, and he looked peaceful, and uncomfortable at the same time from being slouched in a chair.

Gently Leia stood and placed a light kiss on his forehead. Han made a groaning sound and slowly opened his eyes.

"What are you doing in here Leia?"

"Looking for you Flyboy."

"Well you found me" he said, yawning.

"I think the real question is what are you doing in here?"

"Sleeping."

"But why are you sleeping in here and not in the bunk."

"I figured I would give you some privacy."

"But I didn't ask…"

"I don't care if you asked or not Sweetheart."

"And why not? What if I wanted you to stay" she asked angrily.

"Because I couldn't go back after the stupid thing I did and just act like nothing happened, ok?" he shouted.

"Stupid thing? What stupid thing?"

"You don't understand at all, do you Sweetheart?"

"And what exactly am I supposed to understand?"

"I've waited three years for you Leia…never touched another girl on base, or off base for the same matter."

"So?"

"You still haven't figured it out?"

"No, I haven't! I wish you would just tell me what you're talking about! I hate these games you play!" she yelled.

"I couldn't go back and just act like I don't want you!"

Leia stopped, glaring into his eyes, finally understanding what he meant.

"I can't just act like that Leia…because Gods do I want you, more than anything in this galaxy, and since you don't want the same thing, that's fine..."

"Han."

"and I can't just sleep in the same bed as you every night and kiss you all the time and go on like this…"

"Han."

"…when it can't last like that forever…."

"HAN!" she screamed.

"What!"

"I don't want it to be like that forever."

"You don't want what to be like what?"

"I don't want our relationship to stay where it is now."

"Oh."

"But I'm not ready for that yet, I have no idea what I'm doing, and I don't want…" she trailed off.

"Listen Leia, I've waited this long, and I'm willing to wait as long as you need, but I need to know that you want that…if not now, maybe someday."

"I do want that Han, just…"

He kissed her forehead, "I know Sweetheart, just let me know when you're ready."

"Thank you" she whispered as she fell into his embrace.

* * *

><p><strong>[What was all that yelling Cub?]<strong> asked Chewie as he saw his friend walk into the galley.

"Nothing."

**[It didn't sound like nothing.]**

"Well what did it sound like then?"

**[A lot of yelling, consisting of you and the Princess.]**

"Good guessing" he said, sitting down across from the Wookiee with a mug of Caf.

**[Are you going to tell me what you were arguing about?]**

"It's really none of your business, but I suppose Leia will tell you eventually anyway."

**[Depends on how personal it is to her Cub, if she doesn't want to share, she won't. The Princess doesn't tell me everything, just wants to talk to me a lot because it helps her figure things out.]**

"Well basically I did something really stupid last night, and I slept in the cockpit to give her some privacy because I didn't want to step over our boundaries more than I already had."

**[And she wasn't ready.]**

"Yeah, I guess not."

**[That doesn't mean she doesn't want that Cub.]**

"Yeah, I know. That's what she just told me. But at least I know that she wants to continue this…at all costs. I just hate myself for wanting it when I know I'm going to ruin everything."

**[We don't have to leave Cub.]**

"Stop trying to say that Chewie! Of course we have to leave!"

**[There are alternate ways to paying him off.]**

"But we can't just send in some member of the Alliance to pay off my debt so I can be with Leia. That's not how it works."

**[I could go.]**

"Chewie, this was my mess, I'm not letting you clean it up for me. You have a wife and kid that love you to death, I've got nothing."

**[What about Leia.]**

"Well of course I have her, and I have you, and maybe Luke, but let's face it. The alliance wouldn't be too please with my relationship with Leia, and I can't bring her into this too."

**[You realize that you already have, don't you?]**

Han slouched against the bench and sighed, running his free hand through his hair, "Yeah, I know."

**[Then what are our options?]**

"I don't even know anymore."

**[Maybe you should ask the Princess.]**

"And what will she tell me? That I should stay and forget about Jabba and hope I never see a bounty hunter again?"

**[No, but her opinion might help you make up your mind.]**

"Then what happens when I still have to leave her behind, with slim chances of me coming back?"

**[She knows the chances Cub, but she's still here.]**

"More by force than by will."

**[I think she would, at this point, rather be here than not be here.]**

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_9th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I feel like I'm so serious in this journal lately that it's starting to bug even me, but at least Han can't read any of these recent journals because that was the deal, that it had to be written already. Either way, I feel like I should talk about a lighter subject for now, and come back to what's currently on my mind at a later date, or maybe I'm just trying to avoid the subject?_

_I've been working with Chewie and 3P0 on learning how to understand Shyriiwook, since humans are not able to pronounce the language itself, but the majority of wookiees know basic, so it all works out. I knew enough to hold a conversation before, but now I'm able to pick up on pretty much everything he says, even in his little discussions with Han. I'm pretty sure Chewie hasn't told Han about our lessons though, and I know I haven't, because we both start laughing everytime Han and Chewie are having a conversation that I'm not supposed to understand at dinner, and then I just make a random comment in the middle about whatever the topic it. The look on Han's face is always hilarious, because he just can't figure out how I know what they're talking about._

_We're finally over halfway done with this trip, but as I'm sure I've said before, I'm not sure if that's really a good thing. On the bright side though, I can't wait to breathe real air instead of the constantly refiltered air we deal with here on the Falcon, and I could go for more real food and less rations. So there are definitely some benefits to getting off this ship._

_I should probably make a note to ask Han to tell me more about Lando, although he probably won't tell me much more than I already know…he's a scoundrel, someone I would like apparently, although I'm sure the only scoundrel I like is Han, and he runs a gas mine on a planet made of, well, gas and clouds. They live in a city in those clouds, and it somehow floats. I've never been to Bespin, but I've heard it's beautiful, or at least that's what my father told me once when we were looking at the stars._

_But no matter how beautiful it is, there's something telling me we should stay away. That we should go on to the next planet. I don't know, it's probably just my imagination going wild because I've been cooped up for so long._

* * *

><p>Han walked into the main hold, where he found Leia curled up with her Data Pad on the oversized chair. "Hey Sweetheart."<p>

"Flyboy" she said simply, still engrossed in her typing on the data pad.

Han sat down next to her on the oversized chair and tried to look at what she was doing, but she pulled the pad close to her body so he couldn't see, "You know I still get to read one journal entry."

"Yeah, I know, I just don't know which one."

"You get to pick, unless you want me to randomly pick one for you."

"No!"

"Alright, then you pick. Right now, you have five minutes. I'm going to go to the fresher and then to grab my data pad from the cabin, and then I'll be back…and you had better have a journal entry for me to read."

"Fine" she said, trying to not let her nervousness show at Han reading her journal.

"Five minutes" he said again before walking out of the room and down the hall towards the cabin.

As soon as he had left, Leia instantly turned back to her data pad, and searched through the entries. There were plenty he could read, but every single one had something extremely personal in it, or something she certainly didn't want Han to read. Finally, after searching through the entries completely once, she decided on the third entry, from the second day of the trip. It was pretty harmless, just some blabbering about cooking and Han's cabin, so it wouldn't be the worst.

But a part of her felt like she should make it a little more interesting for Han, as he really seemed to have put some work into accomplishing the challenge. Still, she didn't want to give away too many of her secrets, although he probably knew more about her than she did these days.

A moment later, Han walked back into the room, a smug look on his face, "Decide on which entry I'm reading Your Worship?"

"I did, Nerfherder" she fired back.

He took his seat next to her again and moved so she could rest against him, "alright, let's see" he said, taking the data pad from her outstretched hands.

Leia leaned against him so she was tucked in underneath his shoulder, one of his arms wrapped loosely around her, and watched him read from her data pad. About halfway through reading he stopped, "You think I'm actually a nice man?"

"Of course not, you're a scoundrel, but I think we determined I like scoundrels."

"Good point there Sweetheart. You know I just gave you my cabin because I felt I needed to, right? I didn't want you angry all the time."

"What, were you afraid of me being angry, Captain Solo?"

"Nah, I think you're cute when you're mad, but it was just more pleasant when you were happy."

Leia laughed, "I'll never understand how you think Han Solo. Cute when I'm mad" she snickered.

"Just telling the truth here Your Highness" he said before continuing to read. "You like the bed unmade?"

"Didn't you ever notice I never make it, even though you generally get up first, meaning it would be my duty."

"Now that you mention it, I've never seen your bed made, on the falcon or in your quarters."

"Oh yes, I forgot…you were in my quarters on several occasions."

"Only to make sure you were alright, and come on, admit it, you liked it when I was there."

"I suppose so."

"You never asked me to clean my desk" he said as he finished the entry.

Leia laughed again, "I guess I didn't. I must have talked about it in my journal, and then just assumed I had asked when I thought about it again a few days later. I hope you don't mind."

"Honestly, I didn't even notice my desk was clean until the other day, I've been too busy with other stuff."

"Too busy to look at the plans for the Falcon that could help you fix the things that are always wrong?"

"I don't read manuals Sweetheart. Plus, half this ship wouldn't even work according to that thing anymore anyway, I've made too many amazing modifications."

"You mean lousy."

"Now don't get harsh! Remember, this ship made the…"

"Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. I know, you've only told everyone in the Alliance about five times each."

"Oh, well, it is pretty impressive, you have to admit."

"It would be, except a parsec is a unit of distance, not time."

"Don't you think I know that? I'm a pilot!"

"Then how is it still impressive?"

"I'll have to show you sometime, I've got a chart somewhere that will make it really easy to explain."

"Whatever Flyboy. I think you just can't bare to admit that someone else's ship might actually be better than your own."

"You're going to pay for this, you know that, right?"

"I know" she said, laughing, as she jumped up from the chair and ran out of the room.

"Gods, this woman will be the death of me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/09/3902**_

_**I could say that the journal entry Leia showed me was the complete opposite of what I was expecting, but if I'm being honest, I had to admit that it was exactly what I thought it would be.**_

_**Leia's not the kind of person to just go out and share her deepest secrets. Gods, it took me three years to get much of anything out of her, and of those three years, I've spent a few weeks on basically complete lock down in the middle of space with only Chewie and Goldenrod to keep us company. We were bound to start sharing deeper and darker secrets eventually.**_

_**But she can't just write about those secrets in the journal, there has to be some normality to it at the same time. Stuff that's just the everyday kind of thing. It's like how before this trip, I alternated between talking a lot about Leia, the kid, the Alliance and Chewie (as well as how annoying the droids are) and actual logs from actual trips.**_

_**Now, I'm not sure what is normal in the journal for a woman, but I'm assuming it's not a ton of chessy love stories or ideas or dreams. Maybe she's got some of that in there, but it can't be everything…and the entry she showed me proved right. She does just talk about some normal things, like taking inventory, me, cooking, me, and probably about how annoying Goldenrod is.**_

_**Still though, I kind of wish I had been able to read something that really does involve me, like I'm sure every other entry of that journal does.**_

* * *

><p>By the time Han made his way into the cabin that night to go to sleep, he found Leia already curled up under the blankets, sound asleep. Next to her on the bed was her data pad, turned on and unlocked.<p>

He made his way over to the bed and picked the data pad up, on it read a note.

_Han,_

_I felt like I didn't give you a full reward for winning the bet. If I had won I would have made you do so much more than what that journal entry was worth. I figured you could just read whatever entries you wanted, and that would make us fair._

_-Leia_

Han stared at the pad for a long moment, scrolling down the list of entries, each titled with a different date, thinking.

He almost jumped when Leia turned beside him, so she was facing away, but was still asleep. Quietly, Han stood up and turned the data pad off, locking it in the process, and set it down on the desk. Turning to the fresher, he closed the door behind him, changed and then moved back to the bed.

Sliding in beside Leia, she turned again, and her eyes opened, "Did you read my note?"

"Yeah" he whispered back.

They were both silent for a moment, just staring at each other, until Han spoke again, "But I turned it off."

"Why Han, that journal entry wasn't…"

"It was the bet Leia, I'm not breaking it because you feel like I wasn't happy. I bet that if I won, which I did, I could read one journal entry of your's, but you got to pick which one, and that's what you did."

"But, I wanted you to…"

"No Leia, that wasn't the bet. Maybe some other time, once this trip is over or something, but I'm not going to read the rest of that journal."

"Even if I REALLY wanted you to?"

"Alright, maybe then, but admit it, you don't REALLY want me to."

"I suppose you've got a point there."

"Yeah, I suppose I do" he said, setting his head down on the pillow and pulling Leia close to him, so her head rested lightly on his chest, "but we can discuss how often I'm right tomorrow."

Leia laughed, "Night Nerfherder."


	24. Day 24: Passcodes

Day 24: Passcodes

Han woke to Leia shifting beside him, her arms wrapping around his waist.

"Good morning" he said, wrapping his arms around her likewise.

"Morning Nerfherder" she said, laying her head against his chest.

"You're not trying to fall back asleep, are you?"

"What are you talking about?" she said quietly.

"I'm talking about how it's already time to get up and you're trying to stay in bed."

"Chewie has the first shift" she mumbled against his chest, "We can afford to stay here longer."

"Just because he has the first shift doesn't mean there isn't work to be done."

"Like the work you've been doing for the past week?" she asked, referencing the lack of working.

"No, actual work, and you can help me if you like."

"But that requires getting up."

"Generally yes."

"But I don't want to get up."

"Sweetheart, if we had a choice, we'd probably never get out of bed, but we really should get some work done."

"Why do you always have to be right?"

"Because it's me" he said with a crooked smile.

Leia moved her head from his chest and looked at him, smiling back, "Nerfherder."

Han laughed as he felt her remove her arms from his waist, and he did the same, allowing her to get up from the bed.

"So what work must we do today?" she asked as she watched Han swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"We've got some basic repairs to do in the third hold, stuff that should have been done ages ago."

"And why isn't it done yet?"

"I don't know Sweetheart, you tell me" he said, stepping towards her and gathering her in his arms, kissing the top of her head.

"How should I know?" she kidded, looking up at him.

"I think you know perfectly well" he replied, "and if we don't hurry up and start working, it's never going to get fixed."

"Alright Flyboy" she said, pulling away and moving into the fresher to change, the door swishing shut behind her. Han stood and watched her go, and a moment later the door reopened, "Hurry up!" she kidded before retreating to the room once again.

Han couldn't do anything but laugh.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_10th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I've spent the morning with Han in the third hold, trying to fix some of the sensors for the shield generator, not that much of it actually got fixed. Between my limited knowledge of mechanics and Han's sneaking up behind me all the time, either to try and freak my out, make me laugh or kiss me, we got almost nothing done. Hopefully while I sit here in the cockpit he'll be able to get some actual work done._

_I did realize how much I actually like working on the Falcon. I guess Han is right again, working on the ship is pretty calming, but maybe that's just all the kissing. Either way, I don't mind doing it anymore, and hopefully I'll be able to do it more often, if Han stays around that is._

_I wonder if he talks about this stuff in his journal, and I suppose now would be as good of a time as any to try and figure out the passcode for the logs. It can't be too difficult. It could be a password of pretty much any length, so that makes it a bit harder, but I'm pretty sure it's shorter rather than longer, based on the few times I've seen him punch in the code since he's been with the Rebellion. I suppose he uses it as a personal journal as well as an actual log for the Falcon's travels._

_'Han?' No, too easy. Maybe 'Chewie?' Nope, not that either. Oh what the heck, 'Leia?' No, but it showed the first letter was correct. 'Luke?' Nope. What could it be?_

* * *

><p>"Hey Chewie."<p>

**[Hello Princess. Finished with your watch of the cockpit?]**

"Yeah, I just sent the Nerfherder in" she laughed, pouring herself a glass of water. She sat down in a nearby chair and watched Chewie, who was working on some small part of the hyperdrive. "Chewie, I was just wondering something."

He looked up, **[And what is it you are wondering?]**

"So you know how Han has his journal right?"

**[Of course, we've talked about it before. He still does not know that you heard some of it though.]**

"I know, but I've been trying to break the password."

**[Do you really think that's a good idea?]**

"No, but it gives me something to do while sitting in the cockpit."

**[Is that so?]**

"Yeah, but I can't figure it out!" she said, and the Wookiee responded with a laugh. "What?"

**[Nothing Princess.]**

"Well it has to be something, you don't just laugh at everything."

**[Well you see, I happen to know his password. I figured it out a week or two ago, not long after we started this trip.]**

"Are you going to tell me?"

**[You really think I'm going to tell you?]**

"That would be nice, yes."

**[And you think I can tell you without Han killing me?]**

"Well, I suppose you have a point there" she laughed, "But I really want to figure it out."

**[This wouldn't have anything to do with that bet you two made, would it?]**

"No…well, maybe? I suppose it does a little bit. I really would like to read that poem again."

**[Why don't you just ask him?]**

"I can't just ask him Chewie!"

**[And why not?]**

"It would be embarrassing! I'm pretty sure he's under the impression that I don't like romantic poetry."

**[Do you?]**

"Well, I didn't think so…but after he read that poem I just…it changed."

**[So you like it now?]**

"I don't know. I just want to read it again, ok?"

Chewie looked at her, thinking about his options.

"Please Chewie?" she begged.

**[Alright, but you had better not tell Han, and I'll put in the password.]**

"Fair enough. You can access it from the computer here, right?"

**[Of course, but if Han is on it right now in the cockpit, and we log in, it will lock him out, so he'll know. We are going to have to be sneaky about it.]**

"Sneaky like how?" she asked.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/10/3902**_

_**Something's going on.**_

_**I come into the cockpit for my normal watch, and I try to log into the logs here…and it denies me. Says the passcode was incorrect too many times, and that I'll have to wait a while before trying again. I've NEVER gotten that message before.**_

_**So if Chewie knows my password, that leaves three options. Goldenrod, but I'm not sure why he would try this way, because he could just talk to the Falcon and open it himself, not that she would let him anyway. Two, there could be something literally wrong with the system, just a simple malfunction, much like the rest of the ship at the moment. Or Three, Leia could be trying to hack into my logs.**_

_**I'm not sure why she would want to get in there, even though I'm sure by now she knows about this thing. Maybe some sort of payback for that bet? But that doesn't really sound like Leia. She generally plays fair and square, by the rules. She doesn't break them. So I have my doubts.**_

_**So I'm going to check the system for malfunctions anyway, just in case, but for some reason, I'm really doubting that's what was going on. I mean, seriously…when Leia has been in here for the last four hours, and I come in and it's disabled, it all makes sense. Plus she left in quite a hurry, and quite suspicious like.**_

_**Maybe she doesn't always play by the rules after all…**_

* * *

><p>"Leia, I have a question to ask you."<p>

"What kind of question" she said, walking out of the fresher, using a towel to help dry out her wet hair.

"Were you trying to get into the logging system during your watch of the cockpit?"

"No" she answered, almost too quickly. "Why would I need to get into the logs?"

"I don't know, why would you need to?"

"What's the point of this Han?"

"Well when I went into the cockpit I was trying to work on my logs for some trips I never finished writing up and I couldn't get in past the passcode. It said I entered the incorrect password too many times."

"So you suspect me?"

"Well it's either you, Goldenrod or a malfunction."

"Goldenrod?" she asked, laughing.

"Well, it's a possibility!"

"Whatever Nerfherder. It's probably a malfunction, because it wasn't me."

"But that's the funny thing. I checked the system for malfunctions, and I didn't find any recently."

"Well maybe it was something else then. You never know with this ship!"

"Yeah, I guess" he finished, laying back against the bed and waiting for her to curl up next to him.

A few minutes later she did just that, after twisting her hair into a simple braid. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she sighed.

"Goodnight" he whispered, settling a kiss on the top of her head.

"Goodnight" she responded simply.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Leia woke. Looking at the chrono to the side of the bed, she could see it was in the early morning hours, just the time Chewie had described.<p>

Slowly, she moved away from Han. Although disappointed that she had to leave his warm embrace, she knew this was her only chance to have the help of the wookiee.

Moving slowly and quietly, hoping to keep Han asleep, she got up from the bed and recovered him with the blanket. She moved to the door, and opened it, thankful of the night time lighting, helping her on her mission to keep Han asleep.

Once outside the cabin, she moved towards Chewie's cabin door, her bare feet making soft noises on the metal floor. Once outside his door, she gave the signal by knocking three times, and then headed towards the cockpit to get rid of 3P0.

"Mistress Leia, may I inquire what you are doing up at this late hour?"

"Nothing much, Chewie and I just wanted to look at something in here."

"Chewbacca? Up so late?"

"We just want to look at something 3P0, so if you would go back to the main hold or something for a while, we'll tell you when we're done so you can resume your watch, ok?"

"If that is what you wish Mistress Leia. I will go back to the main hold and clean up some of the dishes from this evenings meal. If you need me for anything, please come find me, as I'd be more than happy to help."

"I'll do that 3P0. Thank you" she finished. Finally, the droid left his post and headed towards the main hold. A moment later Chewie entered.

**[Alright, let me at the computer, and I'll put in the password.]**

"There you go" she said, moving away from the system. "I already turned it on for you and it's up to the passcode screen."

**[Thank you Princess]** he said, leaning over the screen.

From her position, Leia could just make out the lettering he typed in, a three letter code. First letter, L. Second letter, O. Third letter, S.

"L.O.S?" she asked out loud.

**[You were watching weren't you. I knew I should have made you leave the room.]**

"Well you can't expect me to just sit here and not look do you?"

**[I suppose not. You act much like my son.]**

"You never did finish telling me about him."

**[There is still plenty of time for that Princess. Now I suggest you hurry up and read your poem so you can get back to bed before Han notices.]**

"Alright" she said, turning to the computer and searching quickly through the entries. "Here!"

**[Did you find it?]**

"Yeah. Do you think I could just send a copy to my data pad?"

**[Of course.]**

"Ok, I just wanted to make sure, because some logging systems record even that."

**[That feature was turned off some while ago, Han felt it was annoying for everything like that to be logged.]**

"Alright" she said, plugging in her data pad to the system and punching in the correct codes. "There, all finished" she said as the pad showed conformation of the copy.

**[So now we can go back to bed, right?]**

"Yeah. Thanks Chewie, this means a lot to me."

**[You had better not log into his journal too many times now, or I'm going to be in trouble.]**

"Don't worry Chewie, I promise not to log into it without at least your permission."

**[I'll take your word for it]** he said, turning out into the hall.

"Hey wait, can I ask one more thing?"

**[Yes?]**

"Does L.O.S. stand for anything?"

**[That's something you need to figure out for yourself]** he finished before walking back to his cabin and shutting the door.

Leia stood in the hall for a minute before going to retrieve 3P0 from the main hold.

She turned the letters over in her mind, and when she reached the main hold she spoke to the droid. "3P0, we're done in the cockpit."

"Alright Mistress Leia. Is there any way I can be of service to you before you return to bed?"

"Yeah, there is one thing. Could you do a scan of the letters L.O.S. and come up with possible results to words."

"Of course Mistress Leia."

"And then could you sort them by relevance to Han?"

"To Captain Solo?" 3P0 asked, surprised at the request.

"Yes."

"I am able to do that Mistress Leia. Top results include shortening of loss, the first three letters of Solo backwards. Oh, that's interesting."

"What 3P0? What's interesting?"

"It seems that L.O.S. would be your initials if your name ended with Solo."

"Leia Organa Solo" Leia said, "That's it."

"How can you be sure Mistress Leia? The top result is Solo backwards, and those initials are much further down on the list when sorted regularly."

"It's Leia Organa Solo 3P0, I just know it" she said again, walking out of the room and back towards the cabin.

"Would you like me to return to the cockpit?" he asked after her.

"Yes please!" she responded, whispering as quietly as possible while still making it so the droid could hear her.

* * *

><p>Slipping back into the bed next to Han, Leia continued to think over the meaning of the letters. She was sure that he created the password with her in mind, but she ignored her continuing thoughts as she felt Han shift beside her.<p>

"What are you doing up Sweetheart?"

"Nothing, I just needed wanted to get a drink of water."

"Oh, I see" he yawned. "And you didn't bring me anything?"

"Didn't know you wanted anything" she said, planting a light kiss on his lips before moving her head to settle back against his chest.

"Well next time I'll be sure to place an order" he finished, wrapping his arms around her again.


	25. Day 25: The Odds

Day 25: The Odds

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_11th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Leia Organa Solo?_

_Really Han? I know you're not going to read this now, and for your act of kindness toward my journal. That was really sweet…but having your password for your journal be the initials of my name? And my name as if I was married to you yet! Ridiculous!_

_Just the fact that he had the nerve to do something like that. Of course, I was never supposed to know, but that could mean one of a few things. One, it could be silly to the point where he almost wanted me to find out what it was, and that's why he decided on that passcode, because he knew it would annoy me. But Chewie said he just broke the code, and if I know Han, he would tell Chewie about his plan to annoy me, so that must mean that it wasn't to annoy me in any way, which means he didn't want me to find out the passcode. Two, he could have used that because he knew I would never guess something like that…and I wouldn't have, and Chewie almost didn't either! Which leads me to the third one. I'm pretty sure there is only one way Han would come up with something like that for a code…and to have thought it all through…he could be serious._

_That scares me…a lot._

_Granted, this has made me think a lot about our relationship…if that's what I am calling it now. It's probably just a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, but I feel like I almost could live with Han for the rest of my life…just out here in space with Chewie…although I could go for some real food and less Goldenrod. So does that mean I'm thinking almost the same way Han is? Would I really want to be Leia Organa SOLO? I guess I've never really even thought about that kind of thing, but now that it's right there in front of me, I have no idea what to believe._

* * *

><p>When Han opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the time. It was early, very early, and he wondered what could have woken him from sleep. Normally the only things that could wake him up were sounds coming from the Falcon or Leia. That's when he noticed that Leia wasn't beside him.<p>

"Leia?" he asked to the empty room. No answer.

Figuring she might have gone to the fresher, he glanced in that direction, but the door was open and the room dark and quiet.

Pulling himself up from the bunk, he headed out the door, into the quiet hall. This was the second time Leia left the cabin that night, and he was determined to find out why.

"Leia?" he asked again, hoping she would hear him even though his voice was just a whisper. He didn't dare talking much louder, in fear he might wake up his co-pilot, but moving past Chewie's door and down the hall, he let his voice grow a little louder, and eventually he walked into the main hold.

"There you are Sweetheart."

Leia jumped at the sound of his voice, "Oh Han, you scared me."

Han moved to sit next to her on Chewie's oversized chair, and pulled her into the comfortable position they held so often, "How so?"

"I thought I was the only one up."

"Why, did you want to be the only one up?"

"Yes, No..I mean, I wanted you to be up, but…"

"Ok, I get it. But my real question is what were you doing up so early?"

"It's not that early."

"Yes it is…it's only 0400. That sounds pretty early to me Princess."

Leia turned back to her data pad, "Maybe to you, but I felt like getting up."

Han was silent for a few moments, watching her type away at the data pad. "What is it?"

"What is what?" she snapped.

"Woah, woah, I just want to make sure you're ok, which obviously you're not if you're snapping at me like that" he continued, holding up his hands.

Leia sighed, "I'm sorry Han."

"Sorry for what?"

"For snapping at you, for causing you to come on this trip, for having to watch out for me all this time, for letting you get involved with me" she finished, moving away from Han and off the chair.

"Well the snapping I can see" he joked, but he noticed she was in no joking mood.

Leia had moved away from him and out into the hall, towards the back hold. He followed, and when they got there, she pressed her back against the far wall, concealed almost completely in shadow, and dropped so she was sitting on the floor, her head on her knees, crying.

"Hey" he said quietly, moving towards her and sitting down next to her. "If you're sorry for making me go on this trip, then you're wrong."

"And I suppose you're right?"

"Let me explain, will ya? The hyperdrive is my fault, because the Falcon is my ship, and that's my responsibility, plus, we all had to evacuate anyway."

"But you wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me in the first place."

"I chose to come help you out. You had no say in the matter."

"And why did you decide to come rescue me? Why really did you?"

"I came back because I lo…" he stopped suddenly, aware of what he was about to say to her.

Leia turned and looked at him, her eyes wide and her expression shocked, "What did you say?"

"I said I came back for you because I wanted to make sure you got out. Luke would have killed me if…"

"That's not what you were going to say, was it?"

"No."

"Then why won't you say it?"

"Leia, I came back for you because I needed to make sure you were safe, even if it wasn't with me. I just had to know before I left for Jabba that you were safe."

"Is that the truth."

Han paused for a moment, but then replied. "Yes."

After a few moments of silence, Han heard Leia whisper to him, "Hold me."

Without another word, Han wrapped his arms around the young woman beside him, bringing her head to his chest, and he lightly kissed the top of her head.

Soon her breathing slowed and she fell asleep against him, and Han lightly whispered, "I love you" before closing his own eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>[Cub? Where are you?]<strong> yelled Chewbacca as he made his way throughout the Falcon. Han and the Princess had been missing all morning, and it was now well after breakfast, and he was beginning to get worried.

A part of him didn't want to know what the two humans had been doing all morning, but he knew Han would tell him if something like that was going to happen, and at least warn him. So he set out to find them.

Opening the door to the last hold, the only one left to check, he immediately heard his friend, although it was just a whisper.

"Chewie, be quiet will ya?" said Han from his location to the Wookiee's left.

**[Cub, what are you doing in here? And why is the Princess…]**

"It's a bit of a long story, but something is up with her today, and I have no idea."

The wookiee had to restrain a laugh at Han's oblivious reaction to Leia's behavior. He knew that he shouldn't spoil this for the girl. She needed some time to figure it out herself before getting Han involved. He knew Leia would tell Han when the time was right.

**[Well what happened this morning that ended you up here?]**

"Basically, I got up, she wasn't there, I went to find her, found her in the main hold, she yelled at me for no apparent reason, she ran off here, had a breakdown and then fell asleep against me."

**[She was mad at you, but she fell asleep against you?]**

"Like I said, I have absolutely no idea Pal."

**[It's long after breakfast, she's going to have to get up sooner or later. I can't help much more]** he said, stepping towards the door again, **[I have to get to my watch, or 3P0 might start to plot something against me.]**

"So you're saying I should wake her up and ask her to explain why she was so mad."

**[You're getting good at this figuring out relationships thing Cub.]**

"I know" he said, his lopsided smile coming across his face.

**[You're so humble Cub]** the wookiee joked, finishing their conversation as he walked back out of the hold and toward the cockpit.

Han turned from looking at the door to looking at Leia, who was still sound asleep against his chest. He had fallen to sleep not long after she had, but was woken by Chewie's yelling.

Gently he shook Leia, "Sweetheart, wake up. Come on, breakfast time."

"Five more minutes" she groaned, stirring against him and trying to bury her head further into his chest.

"No, now. Don't try this again. Now come on" he continued, moving so he could stretch and begin to stand up.

"But Han" she pleaded.

"First you want to get up early, and now you don't want to get out of bed" Han said, shaking his head as he stood up, leaving Leia on the floor. He reached out for her hands to help her up.

"Yeah, because I'm tired" she said, placing her hands in his.

"And you weren't before?"

"No, I wasn't tired then, I wanted to get up, remember?" she said as he pulled her up.

"We're sounding repetitive Princess" he said, leaning in to kiss her. She met him and kiss him lightly before breaking away.

"Whatever Flyboy. I'm hungry, what's for breakfast?"

"Chewie already ate, but we can go find some food in the galley."

"Sounds good" she said before giving him another quick kiss and pulling him out the door towards the galley.

"In a hurry are we?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry!" she said as they made their way into the hall.

"Well then come here" he said, pulling her back towards him, flush against his body, and into another kiss.

At first Leia kissed him forcefully, but then pulled away, "Come on now, I really am hungry."

"I know" he smirked.

"Will you stop saying that?"

"Saying what?"

"I know. It's so irritating."

"If you say so Princess" he finished, letting her go and running towards the galley. "Last one there has to clean dishes!"

"Han! That's not fair! Come back!" she said, chasing after him.

* * *

><p>Leia was sitting in the cockpit, sometime in the middle of her shift, when Han walked in.<p>

"Hey Sweetheart."

"Hi Flyboy. What brings you here?"

"I just thought maybe you'd like some company."

"Yeah, I guess I could. These shifts aren't exactly interesting."

"Hey, we all have to do them Sweetheart, not just you."

"I know. It's just…I finished this book, so now I don't even have anything to read."

"You certainly read a lot Princess."

"I love reading, used to do it all the time on Alderaan, especially when I was young and before I got involved with the senate and the Rebellion."

"I see" he said, leading the room into quietness.

After a few minutes, Leia finally asked, "If you are here to keep me company, why aren't we talking?"

Han sighed, "Leia, what was up with you this morning?" No answer, just silence. "Come on, I need to know. I can't have you all worried about something for the next 15 days and pretend that nothing is the matter."

"I can't…I just…" she started, but stopped as she turned away from him.

"Please Leia. What's bothering you?"

"I know your password, ok? There I told you!"

"You what?"

"I know the password to your logs. Chewie knew them and I wanted a copy of the poem you wrote for my data pad, so I asked him to open it for me and then I saw it as he typed it in."

"Alright, then what is it?"

"It's L.O.S. Han." He turned to look out the window at the stars, rubbing his face with his hand. "And I know what it stands for. It's Leia Organa Solo, isn't it?"

He looked back at her, his hazel eyes meeting her brown.

"All I want to know is why you chose that as your password." He continued to look at her. "Please. You wanted to know what was wrong."

Han sighed again, "You want to know the truth, right?"

"Always."

"I chose that password for two reasons. First because you would never guess it, although you still figured out the meaning pretty easily. Second because I thought it sounded nice. Leia Organa Solo."

"You realize that it implies us getting married, right?"

"Well of course, but if you think about it, if we got married, it certainly wouldn't mean you would take my last name. You are a princess after all" he pointed out.

"But why were you even thinking about something like that? If it was to annoy me, it worked, but only because I got involved. I wasn't supposed to figure out your password."

"I know that."

"Then why is that your password."

"Because maybe I like to think about what the future could be instead of what we all know it will be! We both know we would never work out," Han yelled, standing up and walking to the other side of the cockpit before continuing, "and that once this trip is over you'll go back to the Rebellion and I'll go to be killed my Jabba, and so that name doesn't mean much more than my want to stay, does it?"

When Han finally turned back to Leia her expression was a mix of shock and tears. "So you used it because you thought it would never happen, or because you wanted it to happen?"

"Leia, I…" he started, but she had started crying, and with a sigh, he left the room.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/11/3902**_

_**Now I've done it for sure. She probably hates me now or something. Never wants to see me again.**_

_**Is it my fault that I love her? No, not really, but it's certainly not her fault either. Why I chose that as my password I honestly can't remember…probably set it when I was half drunk or something, but I do know in the back of my mind that her name does sound nice with Solo at the end, and a growing part of me feels like if we all survive this thing, and I end up coming back from Jabba, I would love to spend the rest of my life waking up next to her.**_

_**As much as that would be a great way to spend the rest of my life, I feel now would be the time that Goldenrod appears and tells me that the odds of both of us living through the war and me living through Jabba are approximately 10,954,039 to 1 or something. We know it's never going to happen, so why is she mad at me for wishing something like that could happen.**_

_**I agree, it's a strange thought, a Princess and a guy like me…married, but something changed in the last three years. I've changed. When I joined this lost cause of a Rebellion, I was here to make sure Leia and the Kid stayed safe, and because I owed it to Chewie to stay, but towards the end, I really stayed because of just Leia. Sure, there was still the kid, and I was more involved with missions and stuff, but the more I got involved with Leia, the more I felt the need to protect her. With the whole Alderaan thing still in the back of her mind, and the battles that we lost against the Empire that she felt were her fault. She blamed herself for so much of it, and I needed to make sure she understood that no matter what happened, she would always have someone there for her…and that someone was me.**_

_**It started as a friendship, because as much as I was attracted to her, the kid was too…but then I noticed how she would look at me, and then it became as a kind thing. I comforted her when she needed to be comforted, and I riled her up when she looked bored. Probably not the best idea on my part all the time, because that just made her angry.**_

_**But then we hit the Ord Mandell thing, and everything changed, at least between us, but that's a whole other story. And then came this little trip, and now it's pretty obvious…she loves me and I love her, and the only thing that's going to change that is if something happens to one of us. The other will move on with their life, and be happy, but for now, I know I could never leave Leia unless it was a life or death situation, which facing Jabba is, because I want her to have the best life she possibly can.**_

_**So in short, I made that my password because it was at least some form of hope that a life with her could be possible. But I know now that she needs more than a piece of hope, she needs to know how I truly feel.**_

_**I love her, and I just wish I could tell her that.**_


	26. Day 26: Goldenrod

Day 26: Goldenrod

When Chewbacca made his way into the galley for his morning Caf, he noticed something was definitely wrong. Not life-threatening, at least not to him, but still different from the normal atmosphere of the ship since they had left Hoth.

**[What in the galaxy are you doing in here Cub?]** he asked loudly, waking a sleeping Han, causing him to jump and fall off the bench.

"Chewie! What was that for? Can't a guy sleep?" he asked, rubbing the arm he had fallen on.

**[Well of course you can sleep, but why are you sleeping in here and not in your cabin?]**

"What do you think Pal?"

**[The Princess? What did you…]**

"Don't even say it! This is all your fault you know!"

**[What are you talking about Cub?]** the wookiee asked, getting his oversized mug and pouring in the caf.

"You gave her the password!"

**[Oh that.]**

"Yeah…that! Now she's all mad at me!"

**[I did tell you that LOS wasn't that easy to guess.]**

"Maybe for you! But now she thinks I'm some sort of idiot that likes to make fun of her so much that I do it behind her back!"

**[Cub, why don't you just tell her the truth?]**

"Because that worked out so well last time!"

**[But that's what she needs to hear. If you can't tell her the truth, she's going to believe you are lying and doing these things behind her back.]**

"So you're some expert on human relationships now?" he said grabbing his own mug and filling it.

**[No, I will never really understand human behavior, but I do know what relationships are like Cub. I have a wife, remember?]**

"Yeah yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I can't just go up to her and say 'Leia I love you! Will you marry me?'"

**[Well maybe not now, but someday, if that is what you wish for your life and she loves you the same, it may happen.]**

"There's not even going to be a someday Chewie."

**[And how do you know that?]**

"Because, I have to pay off that slime ball sometime, otherwise I'm going to spend the rest of my life worrying that I'm going to be ripped from Leia and cause more harm to her than if I just go in the first place."

**[I told you before Cub, I will go if you…]**

"Chewie!" he yelled, slamming his mug down against the counter. "I'm not letting this life-debt go that far! You have a family!"

**[It is my debt to you Cub. As much as I love my family and they love me, Wookiee's take these seriously. If I have to sacrifice my life for yours then so be it.]**

"I'm not going to let you do that! You're my best friend Chewie! I wouldn't be able to live with the knowledge that my mistakes killed you!"

The wookiee was silent for a moment, **[Then if you plan on going to Jabba yourself, you at least need to know that I am going with you, and if I die doing that, it will be no different.]**

"Yeah, but at least I won't be alive to be angry with myself."

**[But you will hurt the Princess.]**

"Gods, it seems that everything I do ends up hurting someone!" he yelled, turning and sitting harshly against the bench.

**[It is not your fault Cub. There is always one shooting the blaster and one being shot at.]**

"Great, now you made it sound like I'm going to kill her."

**[It's not like that Cub]** he said, sitting down next to him,** [What it means is that one is always going to get hurt, because life is filled with tough decisions.]**

"If only my decision to work for Jabba had been more tough, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess at all."

**[But if you had never worked for Jabba, you would have never met the Princess either. You see Cub, life is hard, but no matter how many moments are terrible, it is filled with good things as well.]**

"Too bad the good thing is being taken away again" Han sighed.

Chewie stood back up to get more caf, **[So is that what you really want Cub? To drop off the Princess and go to pay off Jabba?]**

"It's the only thing that can happen Pal. We get to Bespin, fix the hyperdrive, find the Rebellion, drop her off and say our goodbyes."

* * *

><p>A knocking sound woke Leia from her sleep. Her first thought was a wondering of where Han was, but it was interrupted as the voice of a droid came through the door, "Mistress Leia!" She debated pretending to be in the refresher, but with her better judgement, got up and moved to open the door.<p>

"Yes 3P0?"

"Oh Mistress Leia, I was just wondering if you were awake. It is quite late you know."

"Yeah yeah" she said, turning back to the bunk, hoping to go back to sleep, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"May I inquire why you did not get a normal amount of sleep?" he asked, following her into the room.

Leia yawned, "I just didn't sleep well, that's all. Is there anything you needed from me?"

"Chewbacca was inquiring where you were, as he had not seen you all morning, so when he came in for his shift he asked me to see if you were still in your cabin."

"Oh, well I'm up now so you can tell him…"

"Chewbacca asked to speak with your personally once I found you Mistress Leia" the droid interrupted, "although I am not sure what he wishes to speak with you about."

"Right away?" she asked, hoping that she would be able to use the refresher before she talked with the wookiee.

"Yes, right away Mistress Leia. I had very particular instructions!"

"Alright" Leia yawned again, "thanks for letting me know Gol…3P0."

"You are most welcome Mistress Leia. If there is any other way I can be of your service, I will be powered down for the remainder of the morning" he finished as Leia pushed past him and towards the cockpit to find Chewie.

The door opened with a swish and she walked in, "Hey Chewie, 3P0 said you wanted to talk to me?"

**[You sure got here fast Princess]** he admitted, turning towards her as she sat down in Han's chair across from him.

"Well I would have preferred to use the fresher before I came, but I was instructed to come right away."

**[You could have used the fresher first, I just wanted to talk to you alone sometime during my shift.]**

"Well Goldenrod told me to come right away, and it doesn't pay for me to go back and do it now, I'm here already."

**[You're starting to sound like Han.]**

"What are you talking about?" Leia asked defensively.

**[You called the droid 'Goldenrod.' The only other person I know that does that is Han.]**

"Oh, well I have to agree with him, that droid is seriously annoying…especially early in the morning" she complained.

**[It's not quite so early Princess. It's pretty late.]**

"Yeah, so 3P0 told me. I'm sorry, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

**[And why would that be?]**

"I don't know, I just couldn't sleep. Do you know where Han is?"

**[Probably off in the back hold working on some shield stuff, why?]**

"I was just wondering, because he never came to bed last night."

**[I found him in the galley this morning Princess.]**

"Why was he in there all night?" she asked, standing up and moving towards the door to go confront him.

**[Princess, come back and sit down!]**

She turned and slowly came back to the seat, "Fine, now what did you want to talk to me about anyway?"

**[I wanted to talk to you about Han.]**

"Chewie, everything's fine, you don't need to get…"

**[We're all stuck on this ship Princess]** the wookiee pointed out,** [so that makes it my business to get involved.]**

"But this is about my relationship with Han, not your relationship!"

**[I'm trying to help, and there were some things I thought you should know.]**

"Like what?" she asked, pulling her legs onto the chair and hugging them to her chest.

**[Like the fact that I've never seen Han this way before.]**

"What way? He doesn't seem to be acting much different than normal…except he stopped all the ridiculous teasing."

**[Leia, I don't think it's a secret that the Cub has had many women on this ship…]**

"I know that Chewie, and…"

**[Just let me finish Princess]** he said, pausing and waiting for her to quiet.** [What I am saying is that I've never seen Han act this way…he truly cares about you.]**

"What, so he wants to marry me or something?" she asked, referring to the password.

**[I didn't say either way, if he wanted to or not, what I'm trying to point out is that you shouldn't judge him by things like the password. He is having a difficult time making a decision about you.]**

"So now I'm just something to decide, is that it?" she asked, standing up.

**[No. Listen, he needs to pay off Jabba, or else he has no future at all, but that's the last thing he wants to do right now. He would much rather stay with you than go try to pay off the hutt.]**

"Well what's the difference? He'd probably want to do anything but pay off Jabba."

**[Well I'm not sure. You must know we discuss this a lot, and every time it comes up he faces the fact that if he pays off Jabba, he breaks your heart, but if he doesn't pay off Jabba, he would eventually be taken from you anyway. He doesn't want to hurt you.]**

"There's no stopping that now, is there Chewie?" she said, once again sitting down in the seat, letting her head fall into her hands.

**[Maybe there is no stopping that Princess, but I suggest you make the most of the time you have together on this trip. Maybe at the end he will have to leave you, or he will be taken, but at least you have the remainder of the flight to Bespin to be with him, and nothing is going to change that but yourself.]**

"So you're basically saying I should go apologize for getting angry about the L.O.S. thing?"

**[That's exactly what I'm saying Princess.]**

* * *

><p>"Han are you in here?" Leia asked as she entered the back hold.<p>

"Yeah, right here Princess" came his voice from her right side. He was crouched down on the floor working on a piece of the shield generator. As she walked over, he stood up, "Something you need?"

"I just…Han, I'm…I'm sorry" she said. "I didn't mean to…"

"Hey" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders, "It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong. You had a right to be angry with me."

"No I didn't Han!" she yelled, stepping away. "It's your password, and you can make it whatever you like! It was my fault for asking Chewie to let me see your journal, I should have left your private space to you."

"Calm down, I'm not angry with you for getting into my journal, although you could have just asked for a copy of the poem."

"But that would have been…"

"Embarrassing?" he asked.

Leia laughed, "Yeah, I guess. But I should have never asked 3P0 to read me those journal entries either."

"It's…wait, what?"

"I thought you knew about that. Didn't I…?"

"No, you didn't. What exactly did you ask that idiot droid to read?" he asked, pointing a finger at her.

"Well one day he just came in and said something about the ship's log being interesting, and I asked him to read some."

"And you didn't stop when you figured out it was my personal journal?"

"No, the next day I asked him to read another…but then I decided it was your personal space and figured I should stop. I didn't read any others…and it was just some of the first entries."

"Leia…I can't believe…why didn't you tell me?"

"It was wrong, I'm not just going to admit it right to your face, not when we were so calm around each other!"

"You call this calm?" he yelled.

"No, but, Han…I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, don't worry Sweetheart, it's not you I'm angry at."

"What?" she asked plainly, clearly shocked. Han laughed, despite the argument they had just shared. "Han, what are you talking about?"

"When I get my hands on that droid…"

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_12th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Thank the Gods! Han isn't mad at me!_

_Why am I happy about this? A few weeks ago I couldn't wait to get AWAY from Han! He was leaving, and I awaited the moment where I would go to the hangar and watch the Falcon fly away for ever…well, sort of. There was this huge part of me that was saying, "Tell him to stay!" and I realize now that I should have. If it weren't for this trip, Han would probably be dead already, killed by Jabba._

_So now here we are, and I'm glad that Han has stayed, but worried completely about what is going to happen at the end of this journey. I know now that I could ask Han to stay, just as I wish I had back on Hoth, but he won't. He's right…he needs to pay off Jabba, or else there is no future for him, no future for us, not even a hope of anything but living in secrecy on some far off planet where no one would find this. Suddenly, this sounds pleasing, to live with Han all alone for the rest of our lives, but that can't happen. I need to stay with the Rebellion. And if he truly cares about me like Chewie says, like I care about him, then we will end up together._

_But on the other hand…I do fear for the life of 3P0._

* * *

><p>"Goldenrod!" Han's voice echoed through the halls of the Falcon.<p>

"Han, I hardly think…" Leia started as she followed him on his search of the droid.

"Yes, Captain Solo, you…"

"Don't Captain Solo me Goldenrod! You" he pointed a finger, "are in some pretty big trouble."

"Han!"

"May I inquire what I have done sir?"

"You tapped into the Falcon's logs when you were supposed to be working on the Falcon! And you did it more than once, didn't you?"

"If I may say so sir, I was just trying to help. It seems to me that your poetry was not…"

"Wait, poetry? You were the one who…Leia," he turned to her, "He changed…he almost…"

Leia couldn't hold back a laugh any longer, "he almost what flyboy?"

"He almost made me lose! You're lucky we haven't landed anywhere Goldenrod, but when we do…you're the next installation on the side of the ship!"

"But sir!"

"I don't think that's such a good idea Han. I mean, do you really want him to be around for the rest of your life?"

"He's probably going to be anyway, or maybe…" he started pacing, 'maybe I could send YOU to Jabba!"

"But if my calculations are correct, I will have the chances of approximately sixty thousand, two hundred seventy three to one of returning in one piece! That is suicide! Surely you wouldn't…"

"Oh but I would Goldenrod."

"Han, he really isn't even yours. 3P0 belongs to Luke."

"But the kid isn't here now, is he?"

"No, I suppose he's not."

"May I ask where Master Luke is? I fear he and R2 have been gone for much too long."

"We are the ones that are missing in the middle of space here, and stop changing the subject" Han said, turning to the droid.

"Either way, he wouldn't appreciate his droid being torn to pieces to save your life Han."

"Better the droid than me!" Han said as he walked down the hall back to the galley. He turned around, "And Goldenrod, maybe this time I'll spare you…but one more slip up and you are going to be part of the hull of this ship" he finished before turning back down the hall.

"Mistress Leia, surely you won't allow Captain Solo to…"

"No, you can go back to work 3P0, but I think it would be for the best if you stayed out of the ship's logs from now on."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/12/3902**_

_**Not much happened today…other than I found out that the blasted droid had Leia reading my journal, and he rewrote my poetry and almost made me lose the bet.**_

_**Oh, and Leia and I are on good terms again…I think.**_

_**That's right, not much other than my decision to re-make the hull of the falcon using melted pieces of 3P0.**_

_**I hate that blasted droid.**_


	27. Day 27: Wasaka Berries

Day 27: Wasaka Berries

She walked into a dark room, and all she could hear was a bone-chilling scream, followed by the one sound that that always terrified her…the sound of Darth Vader's breathing.

Leia woke with a start, sweat lining her forehead and neck, her breathing heavy and ragged. She wanted to do nothing but scream.

"Leia? Are you ok?" came a deep voice from beside her.

"Yeah…I'm…I'm fine Han" she lied, settling back against his body.

"You don't seem fine" he said, reaching to stroke her hair, "You're burning up!"

"Really, it's nothing" she pleaded. "Can we just go back to sleep?"

Han was silent, looking at her, "Leia, I want to know what's going on. The last time you acted like this…"

"I know Han" she said, opening her eyes, "but this is different. I'm fine."

"Then why are you burning up? Are you sick? Do you feel alright?"

"Yes, I feel fine, it was just a bad dream, ok?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" she answered plainly, "I really just want to go back to sleep Han."

"Alright" he sighed, wrapping his right arm around her, pulling her close, and stroking her hair with his left hand. "If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here for you, ok?"

"I know" came the whispered response.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/13/3902**_

_**I'm really starting to get worried about Leia again. She was acting pretty strange this morning.**_

_**It must have been about 0200 when she woke up, shivering, even though she was burning up. She said that she was fine, and that it was just a bad dream, but most dreams don't cause you to wake up terrified like that…even some of the worst ones.**_

_**But I don't know what else I can do if she doesn't tell me what's bothering her. I suppose I can just comfort her the best I can, but I don't want to see her in so much pain.**_

_**I just…I can't figure out what would bother her so much so suddenly. There's absolutely nothing that could have aggravated it, at least that I know of. But either way, I intend to find out what is bothering her so much, and help her get past it.**_

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_13th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I have no idea what that nightmare meant…but whatever it was, it wasn't good._

_When I was forced by Luke, Han, Chewie and Rieekan to see a therapist after Alderaan, she mentioned to me that if I had nightmares, I should write them down. It helped…not a lot, but it did help, until I stopped writing them down when the nightmares were less frequent. So I figure I should try again, because I've had some sort of nightmare for several nights now._

_I'm not sure where I was, other than it was a large place, covered in white walls. It was pretty, and it reminded me of Alderaan somewhat. But then I was led forcefully into another room, this one was dark, not much more than a dungeon…although much nicer than the one I was given on the death star all those years ago. And then I heard it…a scream. Not just any scream either…this was a terrifying scream, and the worst part is…it was Han. I just know it was Han screaming, and no matter how hard I tried to get past the doors and help him, I couldn't. There was nothing I could do._

_And suddenly, I heard another sound…a sound I have dreaded for years. A sound I hope to never again hear in my lifetime. Vader._

_I heard Vader. His terrible electronic breathing…his droid-like voice, deep and powerful and terrifying all at the same time. I couldn't see him…I could just hear him. And he laughed, as though it was funny that I could do nothing for Han. He was laughing at my pain, finding enjoyment in the terrible screams. And then I woke up._

_I haven't had a dream like this in a long while…but it reminds me so much of the dreams I had before Alderaan…the nightmares, of my father dying, of my friends being murdered…nightmares where I could do nothing but watch. Only this time, it is not my father that is hurting before me…it's Han, and now I am more terrified than ever. When I lost my father and my planet and my life…it was devastating…but now, after everything we've been through, after everything he's done for me…if I lost Han, I don't know what I would do. There would be nothing left for me in the galaxy._

* * *

><p>When Han walked into the galley after sending 3P0 to the cockpit for the night, he found Chewie and Leia already sitting at the table, but their food was untouched.<p>

"You guys don't have to wait for me" he said, sitting down next to Leia.

"We weren't, we just sat down" Leia said, reaching for the water pitcher and pouring herself a glass.

**[She's right…plus, why would I wait to eat?]** asked the Wookiee as he dug into the dish 3P0 had prepared.

"Thanks Pal, good to know I'm appreciated" Han added.

"Well I would have waited for you" she said, giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Sweetheart. What's for dinner anyway?"

**[Some sort of stew again. I'm starting to think that's all anyone can cook around here.]**

"I don't mind it…I had stew all the time when I was younger. It's always a little bit different, so it's like having a different meal every day."

"Stew is stew Sweetheart" Han said, putting a spoonful of the soup into his mouth.

"Whatever Flyboy" she said before doing the same.

**[Any plans for tonight?]**

"No, unless you have something" said Han.

**[Well, I thought it might be a good night to bring out some old holos. The Princess did ask to learn more about my family.]**

"You still didn't finish that stuff?" asked Han, looking to Leia for the answer.

"No, we didn't. I guess we just got kind of caught up with the attack and repairs and my injuries and a bunch of other stuff."

**[As long as you would still like to hear, Princess.]**

"Of course I would Chewie!" Leia said happily. Han groaned, and Leia punched him in the arm.

"Hey, I've only heard these stories enough times to fill the space between here and Tatooine…you can't blame me!" he replied, raising his hands in defense.

**[Calm down Cub. Let the Princess hear the stories. And remember…I've only heard the story about how we made the Kessel Run in less than 12 Parsecs about…20 trillion times.]**

"Point taken Pal."

"Han?" Leia asked. "How did you do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs if a parsec is a unit of distance, not time. It's impossible to…"

"Don't you ever listen…I say never tell me the odds. Now, to answer your question. Thanks to the special modifications I've made to the Falcon, she's able to navigate closer to black holes and asteroid fields than most ships. The average distance of the Kessel run while still in the save zone is 12 parsecs, but because I can cut so close, I can shave off half a parsec or so on the actual distance it takes me. Pretty tricky stuff, huh Princess?"

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Well of course it does! I'm always…"

**[We know Cub, you're always right]** interjected the wookiee.

Han just smirked back at his co-pilot.

"Except for a few times" Leia pointed out, holding back a laugh as she ate another spoonful of stew.

"What are you talking about Your Highness?"

"Well, there was that time back on Yavin, when you said Alderaanian Wine…"

"That was an honest mistake Sweetheart!" he pleaded, "I'm not some expert on wine!"

"But you were still wrong!"

"Fine fine, so maybe I'm not right all the time…but I am right a large majority of the time. I mean, if I hadn't flown into that asteroid field…like I knew we should…we would all be dead!"

**[That was a very dangerous, but brilliant move]** said Chewie.** [I wouldn't have done it…but it was smart.]**

"See!" Han said, pointing a finger in the Princess's direction.

"Well I have to say, it was a smart move, the empire was crazy to follow us, but you did admit that you might have made a mistake!"

"But I didn't!" he argued, "I navigated us right through those asteroids…and look, we're still alive!"

"You were just doing it to impress me."

"I was doing it to save our skins!" he replied, and everyone was then silent for a moment. "Did it work?" Han asked, breaking the silence.

"Well yes, it appears we are still alive!"

"No no…I mean, did it impress you?"

"It might have" she said, standing and picking up dishes to place by the sink. "It was pretty impressive."

Han's face broke into a crooked smile, and he stood and followed her to the sink. "I thought you would say that" he said as he set down the bowl and turned towards Leia.

"Right again I suppose?"

"You bet Princess" he said before kissing her.

**[Do you two have to do that everywhere on this ship?]** Chewie growled.

Han broke away from their kiss and looked up to see his friend leave the room.

"Han, we really shouldn't…"

"It's fine," he said, moving closer to her again, "He'll be back soon…probably just went to get his box of holos." He kissed her.

"But he won't be happy if we are still standing here this when he comes back" she pointed out, breaking off their kiss again.

"He won't be happy if we are still standing here doing what?"

"Doing…doing…this" she said as he moved his head against her neck, leaving light kisses as he went.

"And that's bad?" he asked, continuing his assault of her neck. "Come on, admit it…you like it."

"Mhmm" she responded, too engulfed in Han's kisses to care.

A moment later, another growl came from the other side of the room,** [I thought that by the time I got back you two would have gotten some sense!]**

Han immediately stood straight, bringing Leia back to reality, "Sorry Pal, but just remember this the next time we visit your family!"

Chewie just gave him a look, but it was Leia who spoke, "Why? What does Chewie do when you visit his family?" She moved over to where the wookiee had sat down, and Han followed.

"You don't want to know Sweetheart."

"Oh" she said, blushing as she sat down. Han took his seat next to her.

**[It's not that bad Cub!]**

"Maybe for you!" he laughed.

"Could we look at some holos now?" Leia asked.

**[Of course Princess]** Chewie said, pulling out a holo of himself and another wookiee.

"That must be Malla" Leia pointed out.

"What makes you think that?" asked Han sarcastically.

"Well, they just look so happy together."

**[That is Malla, and yes, we were very happy. It was taken just after the honor duel.]**

"That's why you're so happy…because it meant you two would be together." Han made a grunt and turned his head away, but Leia elbowed him again, and he turned back to the conversation.

**[Yes, we were very happy]** he finished, setting that holo down and pulling out another, this one of Chewie, Malla and a smaller wookiee in Malla's arms.

"Is that your son Chewie?"

**[It is. His name is…]**

"Now that's one cute wookiee" Han interjected into the conversation, but he was returned with only stares, "What? He is!"

"Well, I've never met him, but he looks pretty cute" Leia laughed.

**[As I was saying, his name is Lumpawaroo. He's not as much cute as he is a handful.]**

"You could say that again. I swear, that ball of fur gets into more trouble than I do!"

"I highly doubt that's possible flyboy" Leia said, turning to Han.

"Well he does! If you don't believe me, have Chewie here tell you about the time we went to Kashyyyk for his 200th birthday party."

Leia turned back to Chewie, "Well now I want to hear this story, so if you wouldn't mind…"

**[I'll tell it Princess. Let's see, I believe it all started when Malla was planning the party for me. She was going to make my favorite dessert, wasaka-berry pudding, or was it wasaka-berry pie?]**

"It was the pudding Pal" added Han.

**[I suppose it was, I do love both. Anyway, Malla found that she didn't have enough wasaka berries to make the pudding, and Lumpy asked if he could go out and try to find her some. Now, wasaka berries only grow in a part of the forest called the Shadowlands, which are very dangerous, and Malla refused to let him go out. Lumpy was disappointed that he wasn't allowed to help, so he asked my father, Attichitchuk, to tell him a story about one of my adventures, and he told him the story of the time Han and I battled Trandoshan Slavers.]**

"Oh Gods, at least I'll never have to relive that again" Han said, and he continued when Leia looked at him for more of an explanation. "Sweetheart, let's just say it almost didn't end well."

**[He's right, but thankfully I saved the day]** Chewie pointed out proudly.

Leia turned back to Han again, expecting him to make a snide remark, but instead he just said, "He's right…he saved us both."

**[Anyway, after the story, Lumpy was happier, but he felt that if he went out into the Shadowlands to collect the berries, he might seem as heroic as I was in the story. So out he went searching, and unable to find any near the house, he went further into the Shadowlands. He was very brave, ignoring several creatures that any life-form should be afraid of, but eventually, something lunged at him and he hid in a hollow log.]**

"So he just stayed there? How did he get back?"

**[Well, it was about that time that I returned home with Han, and when I got there, Malla was in shambles. She explained that Lumpy was missing and she feared he had run into the Shadowlands, so I immediately went out in an explorer craft to find him. When he heard the sound of the ship, he came out and I was able to rescue him, although he was terrified and disappointed that he was unable to find any berries.]**

"And he was alright?"

**[A little afraid, but yes, he was unhurt.]**

"Tell her the last part, about what you told him" added Han, "It's my favorite part of the story."

Chewie looked to the Princess,** [I told him that persistence, like his to find the berries, in the face of fear, is a telltale sign of a hero.]**

"That's so sweet Chewie."

**[I wasn't lying. He was very brave, and I am proud to call him my son, even though he does get into a lot of trouble.]**

"I bet he got a good scolding when you got back."

**[Actually, he didn't. The party for my birthday was already in full swing when we returned, and Malla was so caught up in everything that she didn't have time to punish him.]**

"And you didn't?" she asked.

**[No, as I said, I knew he was just trying to be brave, although I did tell him that he should never go into the Shadowlands unless he has permission, and he then replied that he was sorry for causing everyone to worry.]**

"Like I said, such a sweet little ball of fur" Han said, yawning. "I'm getting tired, so if you two don't mind…I'm going to head to bed."

"Han, this had better not be some plan to escape hearing the rest of the stories. It's not that late."

**[No, Han is right, we could all use a good night's sleep.]**

Leia looked disappointed, "Alright, but as long as you will tell me another story about Lumpy sometime."

**[Fair enough**] said Chewie, standing and putting the holos back in the box. **[Goodnight Princess, Goodnight Han]** he finished, picking up the box and walking out towards his cabin.

"Goodnight Chewie" Leia said at the same time as Han returned "Night Pal."

"Well, since you're so tired…" Leia started, standing up, but she was pulled back down by Han and into a kiss. Although she knew she should pull away, she didn't, and kissed him back forcefully, but without notice, she pulled away and raced towards the cabin.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Han yelled as he jumped up and chased after her.

Reaching the cabin, Leia turned quickly to the left, and stood tight against the wall, hoping that Han would run right past her, but her efforts failed as she laughed the second he launched into the room.

Turning around and finding Leia laughing against the wall, he moved to her and kissed her again, causing them to both start laughing. "I see your hiding went well" he said between kisses.

"No, actually it didn't work" she responded.

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked.

"No" she said firmly, pulling him down into a more forceful kiss. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck and his hands moved to the small of her back, but when his hand slid under her shirt, she froze, and pulled away. "Han, I…I think we should get to bed" she said, pulling out of the embrace and walking towards the fresher.

"Ok" he said simply, unsure of what else to say as he watched her go.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/13/3902**_

_**Calm Down…remember? You said you'd keep it slow! So keep it krethen slow Solo!**_

_**This is so difficult. One minute she's all over me and the next…ok…anytime I try to move forward, she freezes and backs away.**_

_**Granted, Leia is unlike any other girl I've ever dealt with, very much unlike anyone else. She's obviously the first girl that really cared about me the same way I cared about her, and honestly…I've never waited three years for a girl. I've hardly ever waited a couple days, much less years. So something must be different enough about Leia for me to stick around, and that's why I need to wait…right?**_

_**Oh Gods…she's going to be the death of me, I have no doubt about it.**_


	28. Day 28: Nightmares

Day 28: Nightmares

Han woke to a scream for the second night in a row, and he immediately opened his eyes. "Leia?"

No response. She was next to him, but she was shaking, and appeared to still be asleep. "Leia!" he yelled, gently shaking her, but she still didn't wake. "Leia, please, wake up! It's just a dream!"

Finally, the young woman woke, her eyes jumping open, but she continued to shiver. When Han moved to pull her into an embrace she moved away, as if afraid of his touch. "Leia, it's ok, it's me."

"No" she finally whispered, "Stay away from me. I'm going to hurt you! It's all my fault!" she cried out, her voice getting louder with each word.

"Leia, what are you talking about? Nothing's going to hurt me, especially you. It was just a nightmare…"

Suddenly, her attitude changed and she let out a cry, moving quickly against him, and his arms instantly moved around her, holding her against his body as she cried.

After a few minutes of sitting in an awkward position against each other he leaned against the wall and moved her lightly into his lap. He pulled the blanket around them both and then rested his cheek against the top of her head. "Everything's ok Sweetheart" he whispered. "Everything's ok."

* * *

><p>Later that morning, Han made his way into the cockpit to talk with Chewie. After Leia's nightmare that morning, he had calmed her down until she was breathing normally, and soon enough they were both asleep. Eventually, he got up and found them a light breakfast, which he broke code of rations to bring something a little more substantial.<p>

After eating the toast and fruit he had found for breakfast, Leia decided she wanted to try and sleep a little more. He took a shower and found her sleeping soundly when he returned to the cabin, so he went to talk with his co-pilot.

**[Cub, what are you doing here so early?]**

"I wanted to talk with you about Leia" he answered, sitting down in his chair.

**[What did you do now?]**

"Why do you always assume it's something I did?" he asked angrily.

**[Because it normally is something you did Cub.]**

"Well, it's not something I did. I'm worried about her though."

**[Would this have anything to do with the screaming that woke me up this morning?]**

"It woke you up too?" he asked, rubbing his eyes lightly.

**[Yes, it did. I assume it was the Princess?]**

Han sighed, "Yeah, it was."

**[What happened?]**

"Well, all I know is I was asleep, and then I woke to her screaming. She was shaking something fierce, and was still asleep, so I tried to wake her up, and when she finally did, she just said that I should stay away from her."

**[Perhaps her nightmare was about you?]**

"Yeah, but it was like she was going to be the one to hurt me. I don't know, but if this involves me, I feel like I should know."

**[You should, but don't intervene too much. If she needs you, she will come, and she will tell you in time, but until then, just comfort her when she needs it.]**

"Alright, I just…I don't like seeing her like this Chewie" Han admitted, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair.

**[I know Cub, and I don't enjoy it either, but everyone has problems, and what she really needs is someone to be there for her.]**

"I just wish I could make it stop."

**[If there was a way to stop it, I am sure you would do it.]**

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of…"

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_14th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I feel terrible._

_I had another nightmare last night, and I certainly didn't get much sleep because of it._

_Similar to the last nightmare, there were screams…terrifying screams…Han's screams. He was on a scan grid, which is was similar to my torture on the death star, just more painful. And the worst part was that I was there…standing there, just watching him, but at the same time, I wasn't. I was looking at myself, as if from the eyes of some other person. My other self was standing next to Vader, and unlike my normal clothing, I was dressed in total black with my hair pulled back in a tight bun. I looked nothing like myself, but I knew that was me. And I yelled, told myself to stop, to think about what I was doing, but I didn't listen…I laughed. A terrible laugh, one that reminded me of all the evil in the Universe._

_And then I was awake, and Han was there, ready with his arms open. He wasn't being tortured, he wasn't screaming, he was just worried…worried about me. His face was full of terror as I told him to stay away, but no matter what I said, he still opened his arms, let me fall against him and cry, wish that the nightmare would never come back…even though I know it will._

_We must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know he was back with breakfast, but all I wanted to do was tell him what had happened, have him reassure me that everything was ok, but I couldn't find the words. I couldn't tell him what had happened, but still he was there, making sure I was alright. He's always been there for me like that…whenever I had a nightmare, when I was worrying about Alderaan, or even during the times I was just at rock bottom, he's always been there._

_And now the only thing I'm afraid of, the only thing in this entire galaxy, is of losing him._

* * *

><p>Han ran a hand through his hair as the cockpit door slid open, and as he began to walk out, he ran into Leia.<p>

"Han" she said quickly, looking away.

"Leia" he returned.

"Is Chewie in there? I was just coming to…"

"Yeah, he's in there." He looked at her for a moment, but then stood aside, and began walking back towards the main hold, "I'll let you go talk with him then."

"Thanks" she said, moving past him, her hand hovering over the switch to open the door.

"Hey Leia?" Han asked, turning around and facing her, "Are you…are you ok?"

Leia turned towards him, sighing, tears in her eyes. "No" she whispered quietly, her eyes searching his.

Han wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against him, a hand silently stroking her hair, "It's ok Sweetheart, everything's ok."

"No! It's not ok!" she cried against his chest. "We can't do this…I'm just going to hurt you."

"Hey" he said, rubbing circles on her back slowly, "You're not going to hurt me. Nothing is, I'll make sure of it."

"Han, there's a time when you won't be right anymore" she said, pulling away from him and looking back into his eyes.

"I know, but I'm worried about you! It's not normal to wake up every morning from a nightmare!"

"It's normal for me Han!"

"Since when?"

"I don't know, maybe since Alderaan, since the Death Star?" Han opened his mouth, but for once, was silent, as Leia stared at him, and with a groan he quickly walked back down the hall and slipped into the cabin.

Han turned as he heard the door behind him slide open. **[That was the Princess again?]**

"Yeah, and I think this time I really screwed up." Han sighed, but in a burst of anger, hit the wall with his fist with a grunt. "Everytime I try to help I just end up making it worse!"

**[Calm down Cub]** said the Wookiee.

"How can I calm down? Everything I say or do for her seems wrong!"

**[You have to understand she's upset. She appreciates everything you do for her, but you need to give her time. She's not going to tell you straight out.]**

"But everytime I ask, she yells at me!"

**[Cub, we just went through this.]**

"I know" he sighed.

**[The only way to fix this is to talk to her.]**

"What, and make her all angry again?"

**[No. I believe she will tell you eventually, you just need to be patient.]**

Han sighed again. "Alright Pal, I'll go…I'll go talk to her."

**[I'll be here if you need me.]**

* * *

><p>Leia was curled up on the bunk, tears running from her eyes, when she heard a knock at the door.<p>

"Go away" she yelled, barely lifting her head.

"Leia, please, I just want to make sure you're ok" came Han's voice from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine, just leave me alone!" When there was no response, she just let her head fall back against the pillow.

The door opened, "It doesn't sound like you're fine Sweetheart" he said.

"I thought I told you to go away."

"You did, but when have I ever listened to direction?" he asked. She felt him sit down on the bed next to him, and his hand began to lightly rub her back.

"What do you want Han?"

"I want to make sure you're ok." No response. "Leia?"

"I'm not ok. I never was, and I never will be" she cried.

"Come here" Han said, lightly picking her up and placing her in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her lightly and rocked her back and forth. "Is this a little better?"

"Yes" she admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't, at least not right now, I just…I need to calm down."

Han sat rocking her for a moment, silent. "Ok, well I'm always going to be here if you feel like talking about it, but until then, do you want me to tell you a story?"

"A story?" she asked, looking up at him.

"A story. You see Princess, whenever I was upset about something, Dewlanna would hold me, just like this" he said, squeezing her lightly, "and she would tell me a story."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"Most times."

"Sometimes it didn't?" she questioned.

"No, sometimes she would have to go back to work without finishing the story" he laughed, "but I'm not going to do that to you."

"Good" she said, a light smile appearing on her face. "So what story are you going to tell me?"

"How about when we went back to visit Chewie's family and found that he had a son?"

"Alright" she said, closing her eyes and resting her head against Han's chest.

"Well, it all started when we decided to stop on Kashyyyk after a supply run to the corporate sector. The last time we were there was for Chewie's wedding to Malla."

"They didn't see each other for an entire year?" she asked, opened one eye to look at him.

"No" he sighed, "I told Chewie to stay back with his wife, to spend some time at home, but he insisted on coming with me."

"Because of the life-debt."

"Yeah, but anyway, we landed the Falcon a ways away from his home, and then hiked to his house. Malla knew we were coming, and when we got there, Chewie was freaking out. He kept asking me if he looked ok, and how glad he was to see Malla, but what if had changed…"

"Chewie was worried? Just like that?"

"Well, maybe not quite like that" Han laughed, "but he was pretty worried about his appearance."

Leia gave a small laugh and then settled once again against his chest, "What happened next?" she asked, closing her eyes.

"We walked inside and there was Malla, just standing there with a bundle in her arms. She said welcome home, but Chewie looked like he had never seen a baby wookiee before."

"So he just stood there?" she asked.

"Yeah, eyes wide open. It wasn't until I told him congratulations that he moved."

"Was he happy?"

"Very. After he realized what was actually going on he roared with joy. The whole village could hear probably" he said, laughing again at the memory. "I left then, left them to discuss their child…which they named Lumpawarrump. Chewie was so happy, happier than I think I'd ever seen him."

Leia was silent for a moment, but then whispered, "Thank you for telling me that story Han."

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes. You were right again," she answered, sitting up to look at him, "that story helped." She leaned in to kiss him, and he kissed back. Leaning into it, she felt his strong hands move along her back, one once again stopped to rest on the small of her back, the other absent mindedly to her hip. She wound her hands easily into his hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer.

Slowly, he began to slide a thumb underneath her shirt, and just as she had done the night before, she froze and tried to move away, breaking their kiss.

"Leia, wait" he pleaded, moving his hands to her shoulders and tightening his grip.

"Han, please…we shouldn't…let me go…" she said, struggling against him.

"Just listen" he said, looking into her eyes, pleading with her to stay. "I know why you run all the time and…"

"No Han! You don't know!"

"Hey, calm down? What…just a minute ago…"

"I run because I have to. Because if I don't it's just going to hurt you!"

"Leia, we can't keep going like this…where I comfort you and then you get angry at me and run without telling me why."

"I just told you why!"

"No, saying that you're going to hurt me isn't a reason" he said, finally letting go of her shoulders.

"If you...if you get involved with me…"

"What Leia? I need to know what's going on if it involves me."

"I tortured you" she said simply, turning away from him.

"You what? When Sweetheart?" he asked, lightly rubbing her shoulder, hoping that it would calm her as it had done before.

"In…in my nightmare."

"Will you tell me what happened?"

"I don't even know what happened Han. I just…I can't talk about it."

"Hey, it's ok Sweetheart" he continued, wrapping his arms around her again, just like he had done before. "I just need to know what's causing this."

"I don't even know" she cried.

"Have you had dreams like this before?"

"Yes" she admitted, "Lots of them" apparently more willing to discuss previous nightmares than her current ones.

"And were those the same as these?" he asked, carefully probing her for more information.

"No, not exactly. Before it was about Alderaan. Sometimes I was on the Death Star, being the one to destroy it, other times I was on Alderaan, yelling for my family to leave, but they…" she let out another cry, but then took a deep breath. "They wouldn't listen, and then they died."

"So they were all about Alderaan until now?"

"I suppose not" she said, taking a deep breath. "Some were about my torture on the death star."

"Wait, they tortured you?" he asked suddenly. "I knew they made you watch Alderaan, but I had no idea they tortured you."

"I never told anyone, not you or Luke, not even Rieekan" Leia responded, shifting a bit in his lap.

"Why? We could have…"

"There was nothing you could have done Han. What they did to me was over. It was in the past."

"What did they do?"

Leia sighed, "They mostly used an interrogation droid, to ask me questions about the Rebellion, but it didn't work."

"You didn't answer anything?"

"No, but it didn't stop them" she finished, tucking her head against his chest, crying again.

"Leia, I'm so sorry" Han said, holding her in a tight embrace. He lightly kissed her head, "I had no idea."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/14/3902**_

_**They tortured her?**_

_**Why didn't she tell someone? I'm not saying that she should have told me, although based on how much time I spent in her room comforting her, I'd probably be one of the people to know, but still. That's too important, too terrible, for her not to tell anyone.**_

_**But maybe that's why she didn't, because it was more terrible than she wanted to imagine, Or possibly because she didn't want to seem weak around those in the Rebellion? I suppose that's possible, although resisting an interrogation droid isn't an easy thing to do.**_

_**Yet the thing that bothers me most is that I don't know how to help her. I can't say I've ever been tortured by the Empire, and I hope I never have to go through something like that. But at the same time, I'd gladly step in her place if she was going to be tortured. I never want her to go through something like that again. And if it means that I have to die trying, then that's what will happen.**_

_**I'm not in this Rebellion for the money, maybe like I originally was, and I'm not in it for Luke or Chewie anymore either. I'm not in it for the cause, or for the fact that I hate the Empire. I'm in the Rebellion for her now, and I realize that means I can't leave.**_


	29. Day 29: Against the Odds

Day 29: Against the Odds

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_15th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I had yet another nightmare last night, and as always, Han was there when I woke up, wrapping his arms around me._

_I honestly don't know what I would do without him, and I feel terrible for not telling him much, for not letting him help me, because I know he would do anything to make me feel safe. Han would travel to the ends of the galaxy if it meant it would help me, and I would do the same for him. It seems that we're in this too deep to back out now. The thing I've been trying to avoid for the past three years has now happened, and there's no reversing it._

_But there's still the fact that he has to leave. I hate to keep moving back to that one idea, that one thing that is going to ruin all of this, because we should be spending our time while we have it, not worrying about what is going to happen once we step off of this ship. I just wish there was some way that we could stay together. Some way for me to wake up in his arms every morning, to have him comforting me._

_We all know that won't happen though._

* * *

><p>"Hey, you're up!" Han said as he entered the cabin, looking towards Leia. He was carrying a small plate of food, probably her breakfast again, as she had tried to get a bit more sleep while he went out to start on work.<p>

"Yeah" she responded, standing up from the bed, "I just woke up a few minutes ago." Leia walked toward him, and the food now sitting on the desk, "Is that my breakfast?"

"It is Your Worship" he replied, grinning.

"I should probably actually come out for breakfast tomorrow, or Chewie and 3P0 are going to start worrying."

"Nah, don't feel like you need to. Chewie knows what's going on and Goldenrod is…annoying like usual, so it's probably better for you to avoid him."

"You told Chewie about my nightmares?" she asked, biting into the bread he had brought her.

"Yeah, I figured he should know what all your screaming was and not get the wrong idea."

She blushed, "Oh. Alright. I was going to…to tell him anyway."

"You going to be alright in here alone so I can go work in the main hold?"

"I think I can manage Captain" she laughed.

"Alright then. You can come help me later if you want" he said, lightly kissing her forehead before moving towards the door.

"Han, wait…" she started.

He turned around, and there she was beside him, pulling him down into a forceful kiss. She instantly wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer, savoring the feel of her lips against his.

When she finally pulled away he asked, "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to say thank you for being there every morning."

"Well it's not like I'm far away from you or anything" he added, a crooked smile coming across his face.

"No, but it really is nice of you" she returned, giving him another light kiss. "You should probably get to work."

"I suppose" he laughed, "but this sounds much better." He kissed her again, but she pulled away, pushing him towards the door.

"Go, you have work to do! I want to finish eating and take a shower."

"And after your shower you're going to come help me, right?" he asked, still grinning.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it" she finished, turning towards the fresher as he walked out of the room.

* * *

><p>A while later Leia joined Han in the main hold, where he was working on the main system navigation computer. He turned as she entered the room. "You came."<p>

"Well why wouldn't I Flyboy?" she asked, walking over to him.

"I don't know, I just thought that maybe with the…"

"with the nightmares I wouldn't want to do much? Yeah, that's why not many people knew about them. You were one of the only people."

"Who were the others?"

"My doctor, Rieekan, Chewie, and you I guess."

"I knew and Luke didn't?" he asked, turning back to his work as she pulled an empty chair over to sit next to him.

"Well, he sort of knew, but he had no idea what they were about or that I had them often. One night he was walking by my quarters on his way back from shift and he must have heard me talking or screaming, because he woke me up by knocking on my door."

"Did you let him in?"

"Yeah, how couldn't I? I told him I was fine and after some persuasion he left and went to bed."

"And that was it? He didn't ask anything more after that?" Han asked, turning to face her again.

"Yeah, that was it. I mean, the next morning he asked if I was ok, but that was it."

"I see. Hey, could you read me that list of numbers as I ask for them?" he said, pointing to a list sitting just to the right of the computer.

"Yeah, sure. Do you need the first one now?"

"No, but I'll need it in a bit" he finished, turning back to the work. "So what did the others know?"

Leia sighed, "Well, my doctor knew that I had them, and he prescribed some medication to help, not that it did. Eventually I just started telling him that they had stopped, just so he would take me off the medicine."

"So you just told him that they stopped, even though he could help? Number please."

"485" she answered before continuing. "Yeah, but like I said, the medicine did nothing but make me drowsy and cause more nightmares. It wasn't until I stopped taking the medicine that anything changed."

"Next number" he said, and she responded with the second number. "What about Rieekan?"

"Well, he was the closest thing I had to family other than you and Luke after Alderaan. He treated me like his own daughter, and so I treated him like my father."

"Did you treat each other like that before Alderaan?"

"Not completely, but it was close. I grew up with Rieekan around all the time. He would bring me presents and let me work on ships with him. It was his hobby I guess, not much different from you messing with the Falcon" she laughed.

"So that's where you got so good at helping with repairs, huh?"

"Well that and my father's mandatory training I went through to know the basics, not that I remember much of it."

"For what it's worth, you're a pretty good pilot" he added. "So the other other people you told are me and Chewie?"

"Yes. Telling Chewie seemed obvious. He really couldn't tell anyone, other than you, and you already knew. He really helped a lot."

"He's always been that way. Must be because he's so old or something" he laughed.

"Must be" she agreed. "And then there's you" she started.

Han turned towards her then, looking at her, "And?"

Leia appeared as if she didn't know how to respond, but she surprised him for a second time that day by pulling him into another kiss. "I'm not sure how I'll ever repay you for everything you've done Han" she laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked. Then he added, "I think this is a good start though" before kissing her again, this time more forcefully. But when Han began to pull away, remembering how he was taking this slow, Leia pulled him back into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Unsure what to do, he continued to kiss her, and once she seemed more relaxed, he slowly made his way along her jaw. When she tensed, he expected her to pull away, but when she didn't he made his way to her neck.

Slowly, Han moved his hands to lightly rest on her body, one moving into her hair, the other to her hip. He knew that he couldn't go too fast, but his want to touch her was overwhelming.

Leia let out a small moan as he left light kisses along her smooth skin. Part of her wanted to tense, to run back to the cabin, away from Han. But another part of her told her to stay, that this was what she really wanted, to have his lips running lightly over her skin, to have his warm hand running against her body, and so she remained, closing her eyes and letting the feeling wash over her.

As Han's kisses moved along her neck, she suddenly felt the need to be closer to him, and so she moved. Han broke from her, and silently wished she wasn't running. But instead of leaving, she surprised him yet again by moving closer, straddling his lap, sitting on his knees. She instantly leaned down to him and began kissing him again, and his hands fell into place at her sides.

Eventually, his kisses moved down her throat again, growing lower and lower on her chest, leaving small bites here and there. His hands began to gently roam her body, and whenever she tensed, he would move them back to a safer location.

And then they were interrupted.

"Captain Solo and Mistress Leia! There you are!" came the voice of C-3P0. "I've been looking for you!"

Han groaned as Leia answered. "Was there something you needed us for 3P0?"

"I just wanted to let you know that lunch will be served in approximately 15 minutes."

"Thank you 3P0" she said as she watched him turn and leave the room.

Han carefully moved her from his lap so they were standing. "I'm going to kill that…" he started, but he was cut off by a kiss.

"Han, you can't blame him, he's just trying to be helpful" she responded calmly.

"You call that helpful? He keeps…"

"Interrupting?" she asked, laughing. "I don't like it any more than you do Han, but he really is just a protocol droid. Like he says, he'll never understand human behavior."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/15/3902**_

_**Blasted droid!**_

_**I feel like this is a reoccurring scenario around here…that droid does something stupid, I try to kill him and someone stops me. Why do people keep stopping me?**_

_**I swear, if that droid interrupts us one more time…he WILL become a part of the Falcon's hull. Or maybe I'll make him into some sort of modern art. The ship could use some decorating. Just when I'm finally getting somewhere with Leia, he has to be there! Every blasted time!**_

_**I mean really? He couldn't come at a worse time, could he? I mean, Leia was obviously less nervous and more willing to make it go somewhere instead of freezing and running away, so in all respects, I'm glad to see her feeling better. Gods though, that girl can kiss, and if she keeps doing that, coming at me like she has been today, then I'm pretty sure I won't be able to keep up with this whole "take it slow" thing.**_

_**Either way, I'm still going to murder that droid the next time he interrupts us.**_

* * *

><p>Leia and Chewie were finished eating when Han walked into the galley for dinner, having left the droid in the cockpit. He had figured destroying the droid would have to wait if he wanted to be on Leia's good side. "Thanks for waiting" he kidded.<p>

"Hey now, you said that…"

"I know what I said Sweetheart" he answered back, sitting down next to her and giving her a quick kiss.

Chewie groaned, **[Really? Do you two have to do that everywhere?]** He made another sound and left the room, dropping his dishes in the sink as he went.

"Whatever Pal!" Han yelled after his co-pilot. "I'm going to remind you of this on our next visit to Kashyyyk!" Leia stood and put away her dishes before rejoining Han at the table, laughing at the banter between friends. "I'm glad to see it's not stew again" he said happily.

"No, 3P0 decided he'd make something different for once. He actually asked what you might like" she laughed.

"Well what did you say?"

"I told him not stew."

"Good choice Sweetheart" he finished before eating a mouthful of the food.

"Do you like it?" Leia asked, watching as he chewed.

"Yeah, not bad, for a droid" Han said. "Doesn't make up for earlier though."

"Han" she said, "he really is sorry. He wouldn't shut up about it actually. I think he asked what you would want to try and get back on your good side."

"It helped, but I'm still not happy with him."

"Then what could I do to make it up to you?" she asked, leaning closer to him.

"It's still Goldenrod's fault Sweetheart, there's not much you can do."

"But maybe I could improve your mood" she finished, kissing him. "Did that help?"

"A little bit" he said, still only inches away from her. Then she pulled away, "you finish eating. I'm going to head to the fresher and then go to bed early. I'm pretty tired."

"Sounds good, I'll be there once I'm done eating. Going to bed early does sound like a wonderful idea" he said, eating another bite of food as he watched her turn and head towards the cabin.

* * *

><p>When Han found his way into the cabin, Leia was still in the fresher. He couldn't hear the shower on, so he figured she was almost done. After changing into sleepwear he sat down on the edge of the bed. Moments later the door to the fresher opened and Leia moved into the cabin, wearing just one of his old shirts, her hair in a loose braid.<p>

"You sure like taking water showers, don't you?" he asked.

"How could you have ever guessed?" she responded, throwing the dirty clothes into the auto-valet.

"Maybe by the fact that you took two showers today? I'm not a officiate on the subject" he said as she walked over to him, "but that sounds a bit abnormal to me."

"It's not abnormal for me" she laughed, "because I rarely get real water showers. I grew up with it on Alderaan, and have missed it ever since."

"There's always the Falcon Sweetheart" he pointed out, patting the bed beside him for her to sit down.

"Oh I'm sure that would be very appropriate. I'll just take a quick jaunt through the Rebel base with a towel and some shampoo." Leia sat where his hand had been a moment before and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her down with him so they were on their backs, side by side on the bed.

"Well if they saw you now, what would they think?" he asked, smirking as he turned his head to look at her.

"Considering the fact that I'm wearing one of your shirts, I'm pretty sure there would be some money exchanged."

"I thought you didn't like the bets" he added.

"I don't, but what am I going to do about it?" she asked, laughing. "If I were just a normal member of the Alliance and someone else was the Alliance Leader, I'd probably bet too."

"Are you saying that there is something worth betting on then?"

"Maybe I am Han, but maybe I'm not" she sighed.

"Well what would you want it to be?"

"I would want to say that there is something worth betting on" she said, turning to face him, her mouth only inches from his. "But we all know it won't work. The odds of this working out…"

"Hey now" he started, "never tell me the odds, remember?"

She laughed, but was cut off as he pulled her into a long, soft kiss.

"I'm willing to bet that if any two people in this galaxy can pull something like this off, it would be us."

"I can't agree more Captain" she added, giving him another kiss and then settling her head against his shoulder.


	30. Day 30: Jabba the Hutt

Day 30: Jabba the Hutt

Han made his way into the galley, yawning as he walked.

**[Did the Princess have another nightmare?]** Chewie asked, looking up from his breakfast.

"Yeah, she did, but it wasn't as bad this time. I woke up and she was already up."

**[And did she say something?]**

"She just told me to 'hold her' Pal" he continued, getting a ration bar and a cup of caf. "So that's what I did."

**[That was it?]** he asked after swallowing a bite of his own food.

"Well yeah, but it doesn't mean I'm any less worried about her" he admitted.

**[It seems to me that there is something to worry about if this is a daily occurrence.]**

"But whenever I try to help, she either cries and tells me nothing or says that she's fine."

**[She did seem better yesterday]** the wookiee pointed out.

"She was better yesterday, well, until that stupid droid interrupted…"

**[I don't even want to know Cub]** he interrupted.

"Oh come on! It wasn't even that bad!"

**[That's what you think]** he continued, ending the conversation and leaving them in silence.

A few minutes later Han was the one to speak, "This whole thing has got me thinking though."

**[How so Cub?]** Chewie asked.

"Well, maybe…maybe we don't have to leave once we get back."

**[Cub, you know we have to...]**

"Yeah, I know, I know, but I think I'm in this too deep now to get out."

**[When you say it like that it makes your relationship with the Princess seem like something terrible you want to get out of.]**

"No, no! It's not that" he returned quickly, "It's just…I don't know how I could leave now, and just leave things as they are. I'd feel guilty."

**[You? Feel guilty about something?]**

"Yeah, I know…shocker. But it's true, I wouldn't be able to just leave and break her heart like that."

**[Then what do you suppose we do about Jabba?]** he asked.

"I have absolutely no idea. I mean, we need to pay him off, plus something real extra, if we want to get off safe, otherwise we'll have bounty hunters after us for the rest of our lives."

**[I could…]**

"I told you no the first time Chewie. You are not going to pay off that slime ball for me."

**[It is part of my life debt…]** he continued.

"Life debt aside, I'm telling you as a friend. I'm not letting you do that!"

**[What are we going to do then? Do you have a better idea?]**

"Well, the only way I see it is we send someone for us."

**[And how are we going to do that? Say, here you go…I'm sending you to die for me!]** he asked?

"It was just an idea Pal. Won't happen though, we'll have to go either way."

**[It sounds like you made your decision. And the Princess?]**

"I…I don't…" he started.

"I'll come with you" Leia interrupted from the doorway. Sleep was still evident in her eyes and her hair was coming out of her braid.

**[What?]** Chewie asked at the same time as Han.

Han stood up, "Listen, you can't do that. It's too dangerous. I won't let you!"

"Han, I am not going to leave you. If you can't figure out some other way, I'll go with you. If you go, I go."

**[Princess, I really don't think that's a good idea…]**

"No Chewie! For once I know exactly what I want, and I'm not letting some...some thing take it away from me!"

**[There really would be nothing for you to do, no way for you to help. Actually, you would probably end up as…]**

"Don't even mention that Chewie!" Han said sternly, pointing a finger in the wookiee's direction.

"What?" Leia asked quickly, "What shouldn't he mention?"

**[The fact that if you came with us to Jabba's Palace you'd end up as a slave girl.]**

Han sighed, "I told you not to say it."

"I don't care!" Leia responded, "I'm going to come with you."

"No, you can't!"

"There's no convincing me otherwise Han! You said last night that of all the people in the galaxy, it would be us two to make it work."

"Yeah, but I wasn't implying we go hang with a hutt for a few days!"

**[More like eternity]** Chewie grumbled. Leia and Han both turned and gave him a strong look. **[What? It's true!]**

"And that's exactly why you can't come!" he continued, turning back to Leia.

"But if I spend my eternity somewhere I want to spend it with you!"

"Leia, we…we can't do this" he sighed, pushing past her. "I'll take your shift Chewie, I need some time to think" he added before walking out of the room and towards the cockpit.

Leia sat down on the bench, groaning as she did so. **[Princess, do you understand why you cannot come with us?]** the wookiee asked. She just looked at him.** [If you come with us and something happens to you, Han will never forgive himself. And either way, he'll step in front of a blaster for you. He is more likely to die with you there. I know it's not the first choice of what you want to do, but it's what has to happen.]**

"But why does it have to happen Chewie? What if I came and you two went to see Jabba? We could have a plan set in place, the Alliance could…"

**[Princess, do you really think the Alliance would do that?]**

Leia sighed, "No, it's not their problem. And even if Han was a member of the Rebellion it would still be unlikely to happen. I just…I wish there was some way I could guarantee he would come back."

**[There is no way Princess, no way to be sure we would come back, but that doesn't mean that we won't try.]**

"And what if the worst happens and you can't come back?"

**[You will just have to move on with your life]** Chewie said, as if it was the simplest thing in the galaxy.

"But that's the thing Chewie, I don't know how I could move on without him. Without…without Han I've truly lost everything. My planet, my family and the man I love."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/16/3902**_

_**No…no no no…she is not going.**_

_**I can't bring Leia into something like that. She'll be killed…or worse…and it will all be my fault. Actually, if Jabba knew that she was there with me…that I love her…he'd probably get more enjoyment out of making me watch as he tortures and kills her than just killing me in the first place. And that's why she's not coming.**_

_**Maybe she'll be convinced now that Chewie brought up the slave girl issue. As much as I would like to see her in an outfit like that…I would prefer she does so only for me…in closed quarters…where no one else could ever see her. I would never be able to bring her into a situation like that. I just can't.**_

_**Maybe this means that I need to leave as soon as possible once I get back…because the sooner I do, the less hard this is going to be for her…for me. I'm going to break her heart either way, but it's what has to be done. If I don't go then I'll have bounty hunters after me for the rest of my life, and of all the things in the galaxy, I don't want that for Leia. She can do so much better, much better than a bounty hunter ridden smuggler.**_

_**That's why I have to leave. Yes, it will be painful for her, and for me, but if I don't go, she has no future at all. I need to do this for her, because that's what's going to give her the best future. Nothing else will.**_

_**You know, Dewlanna did that for me once…sacrificed her life for me so I could have the best future possible…and now I need to think the same way. I don't care what the cost is…Leia will have the best life possible, and if that means I won't be in it…then that's just what has to happen.**_

* * *

><p>Leia was sitting quietly in the main hold, staring at her data pad. Not writing, just staring, her legs curled up under her in the oversized chair, and she almost jumped when a voice echoed in the room.<p>

"Mistress Leia, are you feeling alright?" asked 3P0 as he walked into the room.

"Yeah, I'm…I don't…I don't know 3P0" she sighed, finally putting the data pad down and looking up at the droid.

"Well, is there anything I can do to be of your service?"

"Not really 3P0, unless you can pay off Jabba and make it so Han can stay."

"Captain Solo?" he questioned. "I am afraid that there is no way for me to pay off Jabba the Hutt, but I did notice that Captain Solo was quite angry this morning when he took Chewbacca's shift."

"Yeah, I bet he was angry" Leia admitted.

"If I may ask, Mistress Leia, why was Captain Solo so angry this morning? I heard yelling this morning when I was stationed in the cockpit."

"Well you know how Han has to pay off Jabba, right?"

"Of course! He needs to.."

"Yeah, so I said that I'm going with him…that maybe if I come I could help."

"But Mistress Leia! That is absurd! Jabba the Hutt is a dangerous creature, and I should know! I have encountered him on many occasions. I highly recommend you stay with the Alliance where it is safe."

"Well of course he's dangerous! But so was the Death Star! So is the Alliance! I deal with danger every day, and this should be no different 3P0!"

"You do deal with danger everyday Mistress Leia, we all do, although I would much prefer somewhere quieter and less dangerous, but you do not want to go to Jabba's palace."

"And why not? What's the worst he can do 3P0?"

"I believe I have heard on several occasions that he murders harmless creatures for fun, including dancing girls he imprisons!" the droid continued.

Leia sighed, "Then what could I do? I can't do anything for Han back in the Alliance, and I'd just sit worrying over if I'll ever see him again."

"Mistress Leia, may I venture an opinion?" he asked.

"Of course 3P0, if it's going to help Han."

"You may be able to gain some support from the Alliance to help Captain Solo on his mission to pay off Jabba the Hutt. The odds of him surviving with a team behind him are much greater than if he traveled there by himself."

Leia almost laughed as she remembered Han's dislike of the odds, but she knew the droid was right. She may be able to put together some sort of team to create a backup for Solo, and it would be her only chance of him returning. "Well, I suppose that would work, but with the Alliance gearing up for another battle and just regrouping and…"

"Then, Mistress Leia, the only way that you can help is to do what you think is really right. To do the thing that you believe will help Captain Solo the most. Now if you excuse me, I would like to go shut down for a while before I return to that dreadful cockpit" he finished, moving back towards the hallway.

"Hey 3P0?" Leia asked, causing the droid to turn around. "I thought you didn't understand human behavior?"

"Well, if I may say so Mistress Leia, I am a Protocal Droid, specifically created to understand human relations, and while there are some things I do understand, such as your situation with Captain Solo, I fear I will never truly understand everything" he responded before turning around once again and moving into the hall.

As she watched him go, Leia couldn't help but laugh quietly, because she realized that the odds of 3P0 understanding everything about human behavior, especially with people like Han around, were about a million to one.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_16th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Alright, I admit, maybe this time 3P0 is right._

_It probably is a terrible idea for me to go to Jabba's Palace with Han, but I can't just sit and wait and hope that he's going to come back. If I could, I would go with him, because at least if we die, I would be able to spend the last minutes of my life with him, tell him I love him one last time…or the first time for that matter, kiss him one last time. Of course, I could do that back at the Alliance before he leaves, but I won't be able to watch him go. I'd rather die than live without him. I know that now, and realize that since Alderaan, it's always been that way._

_If it weren't for Han, I'd be dead by now. Actually, I'd be dead a long time ago. When I lost Alderaan and my family and my life, I felt like I had lost everything, felt like there was nothing to live for, but it was Han that made me realize that although it was as if everything I loved was gone, there were still people that loved me. Like Luke, like Rieekan, and Chewie. And although at first I didn't believe him, I eventually realized that he loved me. I could see it in his eyes. That's why he came to me when I was terrified, that's why he's been there for me every time I've had a nightmare, ready to comfort me with his arms open. He loves me, just like I love him. And that's why I have to do something. I have to figure out a way to help him, because if I don't, then I'll lose the one thing left that I love._

_But if this whole thing means that I can't go with him to Jabba, then I'm going to do everything I can to make sure he comes back to me. Everything I can do to help him as he has helped me, and as he said last night, of all the odds in the galaxy, we will accomplish it, and he will come home._

* * *

><p>Leia was surprised as Han stepped into the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon during her shift. He sighed as he entered and then leisurely sat in Chewie's open co-pilot seat. "Listen, Leia I'm sorry for…" he started.<p>

"No Han, I'm the one that should be sorry" she interrupted. When he said nothing to interject her, she continued. "I know that going with you to Jabba would be too dangerous, but I just wish there was something I could do to help."

"Leia, there isn't much you can do. Gods, there's not much I can do anymore" he pointed out. "It's my fault for letting it go on this long, and I have to take the punishment."

"But if only that punishment wasn't death" she sighed, turning out to look at the stars.

"Hey" he said, taking her hand, "we don't know that."

She looked back to him, "well maybe not for sure, but after what 3P0 told me about Jabba I don't see how you would be able to get out alive?"

"Wait, what's 3P0 got to do with this?" he questioned.

Leia laughed, "actually, he's the one that helped me realize that it was a bad idea to go with you to Jabba."

Han smiled, "And how did he do that?"

"By telling me about what he's learned about the hutt, about how he kills his slave girls for fun and such."

"Well, for once, I have to admit, the droid is right" he laughed. "So he helped you understand why I can't let you go with me?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Then I guess that droid isn't that bad after all…although I do wish he wouldn't interrupt at the worst moments."

"Is the lock thrown on that door?" she asked.

"No" he answered immediately.

"Good" she laughed, standing and sitting crosswise in his lap, one of her arms moving around his neck, the other gently running along the lines of his face.

"And how is that a good thing? Doesn't that mean he could waltz in here and interrupt?"

"Well he could, but if the door was locked, the risk would be gone."

"And you like the risk?"

"Yes, but you know what I like more?"

"What do you like more?" he asked, pushing a few stray hairs out of her face.

"You" she finished, leaning in to kiss him. He met her in a long kiss, but it was all over too soon as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his hands on the sides of the chair, ready to jump up.

"To find Chewie. My shift is over and we have work to do!"

"Always thinking about work?"

"No, not always" she laughed, hurrying out of the cockpit with Han chasing after her.


	31. Day 31: The Past

Day 31: The Past

Screams, echoing through the pristine white halls. Halls that reminded her of Alderaan, of the Royal palace, of her home. Han's screams, getting louder by the minute. Although she wasn't there, it was almost as if she could feel herself in the room, torturing him just as Darth Vader had tortured her. And then, smoke, and Han was…

Leia opened her eyes quickly. She must have been screaming because Han's arms were already around her, holding her close to his body. A hand was slowly rubbing her back, and she could hear him whispering. "It's ok Leia, you're safe, it was just another nightmare." Over and over she could hear him repeat the lines, and eventually, she calmed.

He was aware she was awake, but he just continued comforting her, until he knew she was calm enough to talk. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" she said quietly, barely a whisper. He figured he should just leave it, but then she continued. "It was terrible. You…you were…" Leia continued before closing her eyes and pressing into his chest again.

"Hey, I'm fine. See, I'm right here. Nothing's hurt me, ok?" he soothed before placing a light kiss on the top of her head. Once again she calmed and fell asleep, the sound of Han's heart as she pressed into his chest soothing her more than any words ever could.

* * *

><p>When Han woke he found Leia still asleep, but once he moved, she opened her eyes instantly. "Good morning" she yawned, trying to snuggle back against him.<p>

"Hey now Princess, it's time to get up, not time to go back to sleep."

"Just a few more minutes?" she pleaded.

"Alright, I don't see any harm in a few more minutes. Chewie's got the first shift anyways" he laughed, closing his eyes and resting his head lightly on top of hers.

"Hey Han?" she whispered moments later.

"Yeah Sweetheart?" he responded, eyes still closed.

"What's Cloud City like?"

"Well," he started, opening his eyes, "I really don't know. I've never really been there. All I know is that it's a tibanna gas mine and it's owned by Lando Calrissian."

"And you know Lando?" she continued.

"Yeah, or at least I did. What he's like now I have no idea."

"Do you trust him?"

"I believe the last time you asked me that I said no" he laughed.

"Well maybe you changed your mind?" she kidded, beginning to laugh herself.

" I didn't, sorry to disappoint you Sweetheart" he continued, once again closing his eyes.

"Will you tell me about Lando?" she asked a few moments later.

"What's there to tell?" he responded.

"For starters, how do you know him?"

Han sighed, opening his eyes, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get any more sleep. "Well that was a long time ago now. It's kind of funny actually. He found me, saved my life, and then asked for help."

"He saved your life?" Leia asked, looking up at him.

"Yeah, he did. Fett had me at gunpoint for the last bounty on my head and I was drugged up by him. Lando caught Fett, drugged him, gave me the antidote and sent him off into unknown space, because the drug made you obedient or something along those lines."

"Like what they used on me on the Death Star?" she whispered, turning away.

Han looked at her, "Yeah, they use that…the Imperials" he said simply, and he wondered if it had been too simple.

Leia turned back towards him, "continue."

"Well he had been searching for me cause he won the Falcon in a game of Sabacc, but had no idea how to fly her. Of course, I was the best pilot in the galaxy, so…"

"Always so modest" she interrupted, leaning back down and laying her head on his chest once again.

"You bet Princess. So I taught him, and realized that someday the Falcon would be mine…no matter what. He left then, and I went back to my normal life."

"And that was it?"

"No" he laughed, "not even close."

"A few years later we both ended up in the Cloud City Sabacc Tournament."

"I thought you had never seen Cloud City."

"I haven't really. I was just in the lower levels for a few hours for the tournament, so I really have no idea what the whole place looks like."

"Oh, I see. So what happened at the tournament?"

"We all had high bets, every single one of us, including Lando, who put in a marker for a choice of one ship from his used-ship lot."

"And let me guess…you won."

"Well I am the best sabacc player…" he smiled.

Leia gave him a light punch in the arm, "just continue the story Nerfherder."

"Alright alright. You guessed it right…I won, and of course, the guy had the Falcon sitting in the lot. I picked it right away, even though it looked like the worst one around. "

"And he was ok with this?"

"Gods no. The Falcon was his favorite. He nearly killed me when I picked it, but since we had played a fair game he had no choice."

"Is that why you don't trust him then? Because he might want revenge on the Falcon?"

"Nah, more so the other time."

"What 'other time'?"

"You knew Bria Tharen right?"

"Yes, she played a key role is getting us the plans for the death star, among other operations."

"Well it was due to one of those 'other operations'" he continued. "I dated her, several times, and helped her in the attack on the Hutt spice and slavery operations on Ylesia. I recruited many smugglers, including Lando. And although the mission was a success, Bria kept all the money for the Rebellion, leaving me with nothing to pay the smugglers who had helped. Lando, along with many others, were unhappy and blamed me for it."

"She kept all the money for the Rebellion? I'm sure that if my father had known…" she said, sitting up and looking at him.

"Hey, Leia. It's over. Nothing you can do about it. I'm sure your father would have helped, but there wasn't much he could have done. The Rebellion needed the credits anyway" he admitting, pulling her back down towards him.

"It still wasn't fair. If only we had known…" she responded.

"Well Bria was tricky like that. I should know."

"You said you dated her, right?"

He sighed again, "I did."

Then she surprised him, rolling so she was on top of him, her mouth close to his, on hand pushing back stray hairs on his forehead, "Did you love her?" she asked simply.

"I thought I did" he admitted. "But I was young and stupid. I was in it way too deep with her."

"As deep as you are with me?"

"Maybe not quite as deep as I am with you" he laughed, bringing her head down to finally kiss him.

"And is that a bad thing?" she asked, pulling away.

"Nah, at least not yet" he continued, giving her another kiss. When she pulled away she rolled off of him and settled in again at his side, her head laying sideways on his chest, one hand lazily running over the soft fabric of his shirt.

"You told her family, didn't you?" Leia asked quietly.

"Told her family what?"

"About her death. You told them she had died."

"Yeah, I did" he answered simply.

"Why?" she said, and when she had no response she continued. "I know we could have sent someone else to tell them, but you insisted on going."

Han sighed, "Because I felt sorry for her."

"After everything she did to you? She left you, used you and yet you still felt sorry for her?"

"Well yeah. I mean, no matter how many things she did to me, she still helped the Rebellion, and she gave her life for it."

"She did. We would have never gotten this far in the war effort without her leadership" she whispered, continuing her motions on the fabric covering his chest.

"I know," he said, grabbing her hand from his chest, "but more importantly, without Bria, I wouldn't know you." Finishing, he took her hand and lightly kissed the palm. "That's why I had to tell her family, because no matter what she did to me, she helped you, and by helping you, she helped me."

"But you hardly knew me. You left just weeks after the Death Star to tell her family. So how do I have anything to do with it?" Leia pointed out, wrapping her arms around him.

"Well at first I came back because I felt I had to, but after that it was pretty much because I wanted to make sure you and Luke were ok. You both went through a lot…you a bit more than him."

"So you stayed because of us? Because of me?"

"Sweetheart, every moment I've stayed has been because of you."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_17th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Oh Gods!_

_It has been an entire month since we left Echo Base…but yet it seems like it has been much shorter than that. But at the same time, it makes sense. It's one of those moments where it feels like so much has happened, as if the trip started years ago, but at the same time, it's gone so fast. I feel like it was just a few days ago that we left._

_But with it having been a month, it means that we only have a few days left, and I'm not sure how I feel about this. First of all, I'm really starting to wonder if going to Bespin is even a good idea. I don't know what it is, but something just doesn't seem right, it's as if something is telling me that we shouldn't be going. I should probably just trust Han. He feels that our only option is Bespin, which it is, so we have to go there one way or another. If only I would be able to shake this bad feeling._

_I asked him about Lando this morning, and it ended up being a conversation about Bria too. Bria Tharen did a lot for the Rebellion, over several years, but now I understand that everything she did for us was often at the cost of Han. If I had been involved with the Rebellion back when she used Han and the other smugglers for the gain of the Alliance, then I certainly would have done something about it. I just…I feel so terrible for Han. He really loved her, and she left, and I know that's probably why he feels so guilty about leaving now, because he is doing the same thing to me that Bria did to him, although in different circumstances._

_But we're going to have to accept his leaving eventually…although I think I'll wait until we get back to the Alliance to accept it. For now, I'm just going to enjoy these last few days with Han._

* * *

><p>Han was sitting in the cockpit when he heard the door behind him open, revealing Leia. "Hey" she said simply, moving to sit in the co-pilot chair.<p>

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"I thought you might want some company, and I was bored…"

"So, I think it's more because you wanted some company Sweetheart" he laughed, "But that's ok. I won't turn you down."

Leia laughed with him, "Well, you can only listen to 3P0 for so long before you just have to get away, and Chewie is busy working on something, so I guess you're right."

"Is there anything specific you wanted to talk about?" he asked her a few minutes later, breaking their silence.

"Well," she started. "I wanted to ask you if there was any way we could go somewhere other than Bespin?"

"No, it's pretty much our only option. Why?"

"I just…I've got a bad feeling about this…this whole Bespin thing" she responded, shaking her head.

"Come here" he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her over to sit sideways in his lap. He lightly kissed her forehead, "Now, what kind of bad feeling?"

"Maybe it's just my dreams or something, but I feel like we shouldn't be going there. I feel like…it's a trap or something."

"Well I know I don't trust Lando, but like I said, he's got no love for the Empire. We're gonna be fine."

"I hope you're right Han" she said, leaning against him and looking out at the stars.

"I hope I'm right too Sweetheart" he finished. A moment later he started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Leia asked, sitting straight up again and looking at him.

"It's just…I realized that this trip is almost over."

"Well I wasn't much better…I just realized this morning" she responded.

"So the last 30 days went faster than you thought they would?"

"Yeah, I guess it has gone faster than I thought, although I have to say, I'm kind of sad that it's almost over."

"And why are you sad about it? I thought you couldn't wait to get off this ship!" he teased.

"Once we're off this ship though, we have to go back to normal life" she sighed.

"Which is a bad thing?" he asked, his voice growing serious.

"Yes…No…I don't know" she responded, once again resting her head against his chest.

"What's the good part about going back to normal life?" he asked.

"I don't have to live with 3P0 all day" she laughed. "Plus, I'm sure the Alliance will have some sort of work for me, and to a point, I can't wait to get back to work."

"And what's bad about going back to normal life?"

"You leave" she said simply.

"Leia, you know…"

"Of course I know" she interrupted, looking at him. "But that doesn't make you leaving any easier. I just wish you could stay," she finished, resting against him once again.

"I wish I could stay too Sweetheart" he responded, planting a light kiss on her head and tightening his arms around her.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/17/3902**_

_**I can't believe this trip is almost over! It kind of sounds ridiculous because I've been on missions like this before, but no matter how many times I sit ship for so long, I'm still excited to get off. There's nothing like coming back from a long mission and finally being able to eat something other than rations and breathe real air.**_

_**But at the same time, I realize that Leia's right. As much as I'm excited that the trip is almost over, I'm also dreading the end. I won't be able to wake up with her in my arms each morning…if I wake up at all each morning. Jabba's not going to let me go easily this time, I know that already.**_

_**I think I have decided though, that if I could stay, I'd want to stay because of Leia, even if that's the same reason I've been staying this whole time. But I'm serious this time. I want to stay with her, for her, for us. I don't think I've ever thought that way since Bria…and I'm amazed I'm thinking that way because I made a promise to myself that I'd never fall in love again, but here I am. Thanks Bria.**_

_**At least I can be truthful with Leia. I'm pretty sure she knows more about me now than just about anyone else…other than maybe Chewie. Not even Bria knew all this stuff. Wait…does this mean that I want Leia to marry me?**_

_**Maybe someday…although that day will never come.**_

* * *

><p>As she moved over and climbed into the bed next to Han, Leia started laughing.<p>

"What?" he asked, pulling the comforter over them both and wrapping an arm around her.

"It's just…I realized we've spent almost all of today in bed."

"And that's bad?" he laughed with her.

"No, I like it, it's just…" she ended.

"Just what Sweetheart?" he asked while pulling her closer to him.

"What would Rogue Squadron think?"

"Well Princess, I think first of all, there would be some money exchanged."

"But, it's not like we…" she stopped, blushing and turning her head away from him.

"No, but they would think so" he continued, pulling her back to face him and then giving her a light kiss. "And either way, what's so bad about them thinking that?" he asked again, kissing her again, this time longer.

Leia had no response for him as she leaned into the kiss, her body moving closer and closer to his. His mouth trailed down her jaw, along her neck and to the area exposed from the loose shirt she was wearing. His hands moved along her back, pulling her as close as possible, and her own hands moved to the back of his head, running lightly through the hair located there.

She gasped and one of his hands ran along her side, brushing the side of her breast through the light fabric, and she pulled away. Han looked at her, his eyes pleading for her to stay, to continue what had been started, but she couldn't, and she got up from the bed and headed to the fresher, the door sliding shut after her.

Han watched her go, but suddenly made a decision. Knowing she had only retreated to the fresher to hide, he got up and followed her, pushing the button to slide open the door. She was there, standing, shocked as he entered. She screeched at him, telling him to get out, but he cut her off with a searing kiss, and she melted into his arms.

"Leia" he started, pulling away from her, "I need to know."

"I'm just…I'm not ready for that Han" she admitted, "I've never…"

"It's ok," he said, kissing her again, "I don't want to push you into something, but I just don't want you running off like that. If you want me to stop, you tell me and I will. Don't just run away, ok?"

"Ok" she responded, circling her arms around his waist and looking up at him. Placing her head on his chest, he heard her whisper, "Thank you Han."

"Anytime Princess" he answered before gently leading her back into the cabin.


	32. Day 32: Sabacc

Day 32: Sabacc

Han rolled over in the bed, reaching for a certain princess, but found nothing. He opened his eyes, no princess. "Leia?" he called out into the empty room. Looking towards the fresher, he found it dark, meaning she wasn't there. He turned to the chrono, 0400, still very early. Much too early for her to be up.

Getting out of bed he slowly made his way to the door, punching the button and causing it to slide open. The lights, like normal, were dimmed, and his feet made soft noises on the metal of the ship as he walked.

Han checked the galley, the cockpit and the main hold, but found her in none of the usual places. He figured the back holds were a good place to check as well, but he didn't find her there either. Eventually, as he was making his way back to the main hold, he paused as he passed the ladder to the turrets. Wondering if that's where the Princess had gone, he climbed up.

He heard a muffled cry. "Leia?" he whispered as he ascended the ladder, "Is that you?"

The sound stopped as he spoke, and then everything was quiet. As he made his way to the top, he saw a flash of movement, and then nothing. Han laughed a bit to himself, but carefully climbed into the small room.

She was sitting just to the left of the entrance, and as he moved closer he could see her wiping away tears with her sleeve. "Are you alright?" he asked, scooting in next to her so they were just touching, both looking out towards the stars.

"I'm fine" she responded quietly.

"Then what in the galaxy are you doing up here?"

"I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to see the stars."

"And the cockpit wasn't good enough for you?" he asked.

"Well, I knew that you'd look for me there" she admitted.

"I see, you wanted to be alone."

"Yeah" she whispered, leaving them in silence. Han didn't move closer, he didn't wrap his arm around her or pull her to him, he just sat there. Leia looked at him, studying his blank expression, almost wishing he would pull her into his lap and hold her.

"You know," he started, breaking their silence, "Dewlanna always told me that it was best to let my feelings out, that if I kept them bottled up it would hurt me more than anything else."

As expected, Leia was silent for a moment, and he knew she was looking at him, but he didn't change his expression, just continued looking out at the stars.

"My…my father said the same thing" she whispered.

Finally, Han turned to look at her, but kept his posture the same, "And did you listen?"

"No" she said before laughing.

"And why is that funny?" he asked.

"Because I hardly ever listened. I was a rebel from birth" she finished, smiling.

"Just like I have been a scoundrel all my life?" he kidded before growing serious again after she stopped laughing. "Leia, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Leia looked at him, her eyes meeting his, as if searching them for the answers, "I know Han. You're the only one I've even been able to tell."

"Is that why you never kicked me out of your quarters when I came?"

Leia didn't answer for a moment, looking back out to the stars, and Han followed suit. "When I was younger my father always told me to tell someone about any problem or worry, and I'm pretty sure he meant himself. I didn't though, I often kept it inside instead."

"Why?" he asked simply. "Why not tell someone?"

"Because it was just easier. People wouldn't worry about me, and as I got older, with everything with the Rebellion, I felt that my family and friends shouldn't focus on my worries."

"So you didn't tell anyone?"

Leia sighed, "Normally, not really, although sometimes I would tell Winter."

"She was like your sister, right?" Han asked.

She laughed, "Yeah, I guess you could say that. She's two years older than me, and although she isn't actually my sister, she was my best friend. My parents adopted her into our family after her parents died, one of whom was one of my father's aides."

Han laughed, still looking out into space slowly moving by.

"What's so funny Han!"

"Well once I heard that you and Winter got mixed up all the time, that people thought she was the Princess and you weren't."

Leia began to laugh too, "Well what you heard is right. People always thought she was the Princess, and she could have been. I hated being the 'proper princess' my aunts wanted me to be. I didn't care about protocol or dresses; I cared about what was best for my people."

"Isn't that a large portion of being a Princess?"

"Of course it is" she laughed, "But my Aunts were so set on me being perfect in every way possible."

"Ahh, that's right, with the Cinnamon Buns and then you cut your hair" he added.

"Yeah, pretty much." Leia sighed, "I do owe Winter a lot though. She did so much for me."

"Like what?"

"Well" she laughed again, "when we were younger she would pretend to be me, which is probably why so many thought she was the princess, so I could sneak out."

"You? The Royal Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan? Sneak out?" Han asked, appalled.

"Yes, me. My father and aunts, my aunts especially, kept me under a close eye all the time, so it was just natural for me to rebel and sneak out to see inappropriate boys."

"Gods, sneaking out and seeing inappropriate boys? I don't know about you Princess" he laughed.

"Says the Scoundrel" she added, kidding him. "Come on, you must have had some experiences like that."

Han sighed, "No, not really. Growing up on a slave ship…it's not a normal childhood."

"Of course it's not, but maybe once you were a little older?"

"Not even then" he finished, leaving them in silence.

"Han?" Leia asked quietly, "Do you know anything about your parents?"

He was silent for a moment longer, but answered her question. "Yeah, I do."

"Did Dewlanna tell you?"

"No, she didn't, I found out later, when I was much older."

"And what did you find out?" she continued.

"Mostly just their names, nothing else" he finished.

Leia finally moved towards him, settling herself in his lap and wrapping her arms loosely around him, and he followed suit. "Well if it makes you feel any better" she continued, "I don't know much about my birth parents either."

"You must know something" he responded.

"Not anything more than you know, less actually. I don't even know their names."

"You don't know your parent's names?"

"No, all I know is that they were both killed during the Clone Wars and my father was good friends with my mother. I tried asking him about it once, but he was very defensive about it, and told me to go away because he was busy."

"Did you ever ask again?"

"I didn't have time" she said quietly.

"Oh" he responded.

"You know Han, we really aren't that different."

"How so Sweetheart?"

"Well, we are both orphans, abandoned at a very young age."

"That's true, what else?" he asked.

"We're both rebels by heart" she laughed, and he tightened his embrace around her.

"And we've both lost so much" he added.

"But at the same time, we've been able to find the good in it."

"Like finding each other?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of escaping the Empire, but that's good too" she laughed.

"Yeah, but remember Sweetheart, I'm the one who got us out of those sticky situations with the Empire."

"I suppose that is true."

"So you're glad we met then?" he asked smugly.

"That's not what I'm saying, our relationship is strictly professional" she said, turning her head slightly away and closing her eyes.

"Professional, huh?" he repeated.

"Yes, professional."

"Then what do you call this?" he asked before bringing her head back towards him and into a long kiss.

Pulling away, she continued to look at him, and he gave her an expression of wanting an answer, but instead of words, she kissed him again. But the unspoken words were louder than spoken ones, and he knew that their relationship wasn't strictly professional...it never would be.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/18/3902**_

_**I can't believe Leia doesn't know anything about her real parents. I mean, there was a point in my life where I knew I just had to find out who they were, not that my family reunion went well when I did find out who made up my real family.**_

_**At least she had a family to call her own growing up. I honestly didn't really have a true "family" until I met the Kid and Leia. Add on Chewie and the blasted droids and we might seem pretty strange, but we are all family.**_

_**But still, sometimes I wonder…what would it be like to have a real family? To actually settle down in a house with a wife and some kids. Gods, what a family Leia and I would have…little Han Solos and Leia Organas running around. Somehow that sounds more like another galactic war than a peaceful life. But still, I can't help wonder.**_

_**Like I said though, I guess I do have a family, and in a way, if you think about it, we've all gained a family. Luke's aunt and uncle were murdered by the Empire, Leia's planet was destroyed, with her family on it, and I never really had one to begin with. So I suppose she's right…we are more similar that what one might think.**_

* * *

><p>"What in the galaxy are you doing Princess?" Han asked as he walked into the main hold, almost tripping over her as he entered. She was settled on the floor, her legs crossed, with a box in front of her, "and why aren't you in the cockpit? Isn't it your shift still?"<p>

"Chewie came in and said he wanted to do some checks for repairs he made, and told me that he would stay until your shift, so that I was free to go" she answered, pulling some items out of the box.

Han sat in the chair nearest to her, his arms on his knees so he could lean closer to her level, "And what's up with the box?"

"It's just some stuff" she continued.

"What kind of stuff. It's on my ship Sweetheart, I think I deserve to know."

Leia sighed, "It's a…it's some of your stuff?"

"And why do you have it?"

"I found it in the back hold."

"And that means you can look through it?" he asked sarcastically.

"No, I mean…."

"It's fine, like I said, you're welcome to look through anything. What did you find?"

"Not much" she laughed, "I just figured I could help organize a bit more before we get to Bespin, that way this bucket of bolts at least is clean."

"Well you had better thank this 'bucket of bolts' for getting you out of many tight situations" he continued, giving her a stare.

Leia just rolled her eyes and went back to sorting, laughing as she did so because she knew he wouldn't stay angry with her anyway.

"Well I'd better get to the cockpit or Chewie's going to pull some arms out of some sockets" he laughed, standing and walking towards the cockpit.

Leia was just setting the table in the galley when Chewie walked in, **[You didn't cook did you?]** he asked quickly.

Leia stared at him and then laughed, "No, I didn't Chewie. Thank the Gods."

**[So what are we eating?]**

"Whatever 3P0 made. He said it was still in the oven and that I'd have to get it out."

**[How about I get it out?]**

"Hey, I can get things out of the oven! What's the worst that could happen?" she asked.

**[Well what about that one time that…]**

"Good point. You…you get the food" she finished quickly as Han walked into the room.

"You weren't cooking were you?" he asked, looking back and forth between the wookiee and the princess.

"No! Why does everyone assume that?" she looked at him.

"Because when you are in the kitchen you just have to worry a little bit."

"I'm not that bad of a cook!"

"And yet you managed to burn water" he continued, shaking his head as he sat at the table.

**[That's true Princess]** the wookiee added as he carried the dish to the table.

"That was one time!" she pleaded, sitting next to Han. "But I suppose you're right. I think I'll leave the cooking to you guys."

"Sounds like a plan, although I still much prefer my cooking to Goldenrod's."

**[No disagreement there]** Chewie said, scooping some of the food onto his plate.

"So did you finish organizing?" Han asked smugly after finishing a bite of food.

"As a matter of fact, I did" she teased.

**[What were you organizing for?]** Chewie asked, totally out of the conversation.

"She was organizing so that this, as she said, 'Bucket of Bolts', looks cleaner for when we get to Bespin" Han answered for her.

**[Well I don't see any harm in it]** the Wookiee continued, causing Leia to make an 'I told you so' sort of face at Han.

"I never said it was a bad idea!" he pleaded.

"And I never said that you said it was a bad idea" she kidded, obviously amused by his argument against her.

Han opened his mouth as if to say something, and then shut it, turning back to his food.

They ate in silence until a few minutes later.** [Anything on the schedule for tonight?]** Chewie asked.

"Not that I can think of" Leia said simply, taking another bite of her food.

"Well then let's just do nothing" Han continued, looking up quickly and then towards Leia.

"What do you mean by 'do nothing?'" she asked.

**[You're not thinking…]**

"Oh yes Chewie, that's exactly what I'm thinking."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_18h Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Well this has surely been an interesting evening._

_During dinner, Han had the incredible idea to teach me how to play Sabacc. So, once we were all finished and we put the dishes away for 3P0 to clean, we all sat down at the holo-chess table and Han pulled out his cards._

_Now, I've never played Sabacc before, but I'm fairly certain that you are able to play it without the addition of alcohol. Although Han insisted, and since there are still several days until Bespin, I figured, why not. The game started out alright, although I had no idea what I was doing. I've been told previously that Chewie doesn't like to lose, although I'm pretty sure he'd be ok with me winning._

_We played the first game, and Han won, of course, and then he introduced the rules of a new game. We were playing shorter rounds and if you lost, you had to take a shot of the Corellian Whiskey he had out. I realized then that this was not going to end well for me, but thankfully, the Gods were with me._

_Against some odds, I actually won a number of the rounds, and Chewie decided to stop the whole thing before we got too drunk. But either way, I can't remember laughing so much or having such a good time in many years. Leave it to Han to make drinking fun._

_So now he's in the fresher, and I'm sitting in the bunk waiting for him to get back. I've still had the nightmares, but I'm hoping that the alcohol will keep them at bay at least for tonight. That always seemed to work after Alderaan, and maybe it will work this time too, although no matter how much I try to make myself think otherwise, I still feel as though it's a sign for what is to come._

_Or maybe it's just the alcohol talking. Yeah…probably is._


	33. Day 33: Remembering

Day 33: Remembering

Han woke to the sound of Leia's light moaning and a pounding head. He groaned as he got up off the pillow and opened his eyes to look at the Princess, tossing and turning next to him.

"Leia?" he whispered, holding a hand to his head. "Leia wake up, it's just another nightmare."

Slowly, the tossing and the frightful moaning stopped. She opened her eyes, and he found the same pain reflected in them as he felt. "I think we had too much to drink last night" she whispered.

"I'm starting to think that too Sweetheart" the Corellian admitted, "but we still should be getting up, it's already 0800. Chewie's probably already in the cockpit."

"My head hasn't hurt like this for a long time" Leia said as she lifted herself off the bunk, one arm out to help keep her stable, the other on her head.

"I'll go get us some caf" he said, following her up off the bed as she headed towards the fresher. "You going to be ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so" she said, "I'm just going to go use the fresher. I'll be there in a few minutes."

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_19h Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I said last night that the evening had been interesting. Apparently it had been more than that. Last night was stupid…I can't believe I drank as much as I actually did!_

_I honestly haven't had this bad of a headache since the last time I went to one of the rebel parties…and that was two years ago. Granted, both times it was Han that caused me to drink so much._

_Now that I think about it, back at that rebel party, it wasn't like last night, where I drank because Han made me and because I was bored. I drank because I was so caught up in Han that I didn't know what I was actually doing. If that makes any sense._

_I guess it's always been that way, where I drink for some reason that seems incredibly stupid later on. I really shouldn't have even been drinking so much, considering my father originally told me I wasn't allowed to drink anything other than one small glass of Alderaanian wine at certain meals until I was 21, which I now am. I certainly wasn't 21 when I first started drinking though. I was only 17 the first time, after I realized how many die in battle. After that it wasn't until Alderaan that I really consumed any alcohol like that._

_Actually, I'm pretty sure that if it weren't for Han, I would have drowned myself in that alcohol after Alderaan. The first time he found me was the night of the rebel party, when I was hiding in a closet, and after that, he always came. Time after time, Han would find me drinking and crying in a place I thought was hidden. How he always knew to come, and how he always found me I'll never know._

_And maybe that's the difference between Han and Luke, the reason that Luke is more like a brother and Han is…whatever Han is to me right now. Luke wouldn't know what to do if he came across me like that. I remember, faintly, one night when Han carried me back to my quarters. He had me in his arms, one arm under my knees the other around my back, and we passed Luke, who had been coming to find me. Han told me later that Luke didn't understand what was going on, and confronted him, demanding to know if he had taken advantage of me. Han had laughed at the memory, but that's when it clicked for me. All of those times when he found me drunk, completely unable to think for myself, he never took advantage of me. He didn't kiss me, he didn't try to get me in bed, nothing. He just sat there and held me, comforted me and made sure I was ok._

_And that's when I realized that maybe Han isn't as much of a scoundrel as he seems._

* * *

><p>Leia was sitting in the cockpit finishing her watch, reading from a book she had found in Han's cabin when he walked in.<p>

"How's your head feeling Sweetheart?" Han asked, sitting down in the seat opposite her.

"Better" she confirmed, noticing that the headache had dissipated to almost nothing. "You?"

"Pretty much gone" he finished, waiting for her to leave the cockpit as she normally did. When she didn't, he asked, "You just going to sit there all day?"

"No, I just didn't feel like leaving."

"Was there something you wanted to talk about then?"

Leia looked at him, "Do you remember that party…the last one I went to?"

"Yeah, I do, why?"

"And do you remember what happened?"

"Well, I got to the party and noticed you were there, but didn't want to seem intrusive to your conversation with someone on high council, so I headed to the bar."

Leia nodded, "and then what?"

"Once you were done talking and started to head towards the door I went after you and convinced you to stay. After that there was a lot of drinking and dancing and then I took you back to your cabin."

"And when we got to my cabin?"

Han gave her a crooked smile, "I believe when we got to your cabin I did something like this?" he asked before kissing her softly and then pulling away.

Leia wasn't sure how to respond for a moment, but finally found the right words. "That was the first time you kissed me."

Han turned his eyes away for a moment, trying to think of any other time they may have shared a kiss, but came up short, "Yeah Princess, I guess you're right."

"Why?" she asked simply.

"Why what? Why was that the first time I kissed you?" he asked, confused by her question.

"Yeah, I mean. There were all those times where I was completely drunk. You could have gotten me to do just about anything, but you never did."

"Sweetheart, I may have a history, but I'm not like that. I've known some creatures that do that kind of junk," he continued with a disgusted look on his face, "but I'm a bit more honest than that. Plus, how was I supposed to stay on your good side by doing something like that?" Han asked, a smirk on his face.

Leia laughed, "I suppose. But still. Most guys I've met would probably do something."

Han's face darkened, and he swallowed, "Leia…did anyone ever…"

"No Han, at least…I've always been able to stop it" she said, her eyes turning down to the bracelet on her wrist, one hand turning it slowly.

"Who?" he asked, beginning to get angry.

"Han, it doesn't matter now. He's dead anyway. He died with Alderaan."

His expression softened, and his eyes moved to the bracelet. "You always wear that. I don't think I've seen you without it for a long time."

"I guess I wear it because it reminds me that no matter how much loss there is in the world, there will always be someone there to help you through it." Han reached out to cover her hand and the bracelet with his own, and she turned her head up to look at him in the eyes. "Do you mean it?" she asked.

"Mean what?"

"What the bracelet says. 'You're nothing short of my everything.'"

"Yeah, I guess I do." He laughed then, "Who would have thought? Han Solo, the scoundrel, falling head over heels for a Princess."

Leia laughed then too, "And Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, falling for a scoundrel."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/19/3902**_

_**It really just hit me, just a few minutes ago.**_

_**Me, Han Solo, one of the greatest and most wanted smugglers in the galaxy is in love with the Princess of Alderaan. Of all people…the PRINCESS OF ALDERAAN! And to top it all off, she's in love with me too! Not that she's told me, but I can tell. I've always been able to tell.**_

_**You know, I remember one of the first times I saw her. Granted, at that point I really had no idea who she was, and I certainly didn't think I was going to end up being in love with her, but I do remember it.**_

_**Being the Princess of Alderaan, she was in the news every once and a while. I was sitting in a Cantina on some planet, probably Corellia or Tatooine, but I have no idea, and one of the flatscreens had the news on. I actually saw her twice on the news, at least that I remember now, but that first time she was pretty little. It was her mother's funeral, which had been broadcast over the entire galaxy. I remember her pretty clearly, dressed in a simple black dress, her hair done in a simple braided fashion, one hand holding tightly, almost too tightly, to a small bunch of flowers, the other hand tucked within her father's. She must have been about five or six at the time, and it reminded me of when I had lost Dewlanna. Of course, I never really had a mother like she did, at least not one that I can remember, but when I lost Dewlanna I'm sure I felt the same pain she felt that day. I never mentioned that first time I saw her, and I've never asked about her mother, although I have so many questions. No one in the galaxy truly knew what had happened to the young queen, other than her closest family, but I feel like it might be hard for Leia, just because it's another thing on the list of loss.**_

_**Anyway, the second time I saw her was when she was 16. I had just gotten back from a spice run and was, again, in a Cantina, although this time I remember clearly that I was on Tatooine…there's just so much sand! She was in the news again, this time with her hair in the signature bun style, because she was the youngest senator in history. I didn't think much of her this time, other than I remembered that this was the same girl who had lost her mother years earlier. She had grown, was quite a bit taller, although still short, and her eyes had this sort of…set determination that I can't really explain. That's about all I saw that time, as it was just a short story, but I still had no idea that just two years later, I would be stuck into the middle of that girl's life.**_

_**Granted, I'm sure she never thought she would be involved with a scoundrel like me either.**_

* * *

><p>After finishing with cleaning the dishes from the last meal of the day, Han headed back to the cabin, running into Leia at the door, who had come from the cockpit making sure that 3P0 was alright.<p>

"How's Goldenrod?" Han asked, trying to keep conversation light as he moved into the cabin after her.

"His usual self. He tried to give me more odds about something as I left the cockpit" she laughed.

"What is it with that stupid droid and the odds?" he continued, taking off his jacket and turning towards her.

"No idea" she whispered before reaching upward and meeting him in a short kiss. "I'm going to head to the fresher, if that's alright with you. I won't be long."

"Fine by me Princess" he continued, moving towards the cabinet as she walked in and the door shut behind her. He pulled off his shirt in preparation for pulling another on to sleep in, but before he could do so the door reopened, and Leia walked back into the cabin.

She couldn't take her eyes away from him. She started at his neck, moving downward over the tight muscles she found, and by the time she made her way back to his face, he was grinning.

"Oh, um" she started, once again unable to form words, "I forgot…a…a towel."

"I see" he laughed and she fumbled in the drawer for the towel, her head turning every few seconds back toward him. He made no attempt to put the shirt on, he just stood there, watching her. Once she had the towel she shut the drawer and again faced him, not moving, just standing there.

He waved a hand, "Coresant to Leia, you there?"

She shook her head, "Yeah, I just…"

"You're going to stand there all day or actually go take that shower?" he smirked.

"I uh…yeah…shower" she managed to get out before walking back into the fresher.

* * *

><p>When she opened the door again after her shower, she was happy to see a fully clothed version of Han already laying on the bed, checking over some things on his data pad. He looked up at her, "All done?"<p>

"Yeah, I'm finished" she said, throwing the dirty clothes into the basket for the auto-valet.

Han turned off the data pad and got up off the bed, heading into the fresher. He didn't close the door behind him, but grabbed his toothbrush and began to brush his teeth.

Leia watched him out of the corner of her eye. She felt foolish and naïve for looking at Han the way she had earlier. It was something a young girl would do, not a 21 year old. Not that she was complaining about his earlier state of undress. She would take that to clothes any day, although she might not get a lot of work done if that were the case. But at the same time, she couldn't figure out how she had gotten to this point…where the only way she wanted to see Han was without his clothes.

Soon he was finished in the fresher and returned to the bunk, sitting on the edge while waiting for Leia. She moved towards him, and he laughed at how for once, she was a bit taller than he was. He looked up as she came closer and leaned down for a kiss.

When she tried to pull away he pulled her back so she was standing in-between his legs, her arms around his neck. Slowly, he leaned back, bringing her with him to settle on top of him, his lips never leaving hers.

"You said Goldenrod was locked in the cockpit, right?" Han asked between kisses.

"No, I didn't, why?" she responded with a whisper.

"Darn…I was hoping for no interruptions."

"Just because he isn't locked in the cockpit doesn't mean he's not going to interrupt" she pointed out.

Han pulled away, "but it makes it more likely for him to just barge in here, and you wouldn't like that, now would you?"

"No" she said, bringing him back into a kiss, "but it makes this all the more exciting."

"What? To have the possibility of him coming in at any moment?"

"Yeah" she continued, kissing him again, long and hard.

"Oh, I forgot, you like the risk that comes with scoundrels."

"No, I like nice…" she started, but stopped short as he moved his lips down her neck and one hand slipped under her shirt to run up the length of her back.

Although her mind screamed at her to pull away, to avoid this from going too far, for once she ignored it and stayed, letting the feelings overcome her.

His kisses continued down her neck to the area exposed on her chest, and he moved his hands lightly against her back. Slowly, he pulled the shirt up as he moved. Han felt her tense and expected her to pull away, but when she didn't he continued forward, letting the fabric rise further up on her body. Suddenly she pulled back, but only to lock her lips with his once more in a passionate kiss.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked, pulling away from her, wanting to make sure that she was ok.

She looked down at him, one arm on either side. Her eyes met his and he tried to make sense of what she wanted, to stop or to continue. Although he knew that no matter how much he wanted it to, he couldn't let it go that far.

When she didn't answer he lightly lifted her up off of him and moved them so they were laying in the bunk normally. He pulled the blanket over them and lightly kissed her forehead.

"Han?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"I…I want to…I've just...I don't know…" she muttered.

"I know Sweetheart."

"But, I don't want you to feel like…"

"Hey, I'm going to wait for you either way. Don't you ever think that you need to do something you're not comfortable with for my sake" he reassured.

"You mean that? You're willing to wait?"

"I've waited this long Princess, I think I can wait a while longer."

Leia smiled and kissed him again before settling into his chest, her breathing slowing. He wrapped his arms lightly around her and sighed into her hair, closing his eyes and willing sleep to overtake him.


	34. Day 34: A Want

Day 34: A Want

_Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan_

_20th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_So last night, was…alright, this one can be classified as interesting, at least more interesting that the other night. I went into the fresher to take a shower but forgot a towel, meaning I had to come back out. This kind of backfired on me because Han was standing there…without a shirt._

_Now, it's not that I'm complaining that he was standing there like that, it's just that I couldn't look away. There are times when things like that happen I suppose, but I certainly felt childish just standing there. I mean, I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything. As if his state of undress wasn't enough, he also was wearing a crooked smile, you know, that one that he uses sometimes that will make any girl go insane._

_And I know, very much so, how he's made other girls go insane. Now, it's not as if I haven't thought about this myself, I mean, I have to admit, he is rather handsome, in a scruffy looking kind of way, and at the same time, he's been right all along. I've always had this connection to him that I haven't ever had before. I really don't want him to leave, I never did, and apparently everyone was able to tell that I loved him before I was even able to admit it myself._

_You see, it seems to be a hobby of other women in the Alliance to ask me about Han. They seem to find me (Gods, every time I walk out of my cabin, office or the command center) and ask the following questions._

_"What's Han like? Does he like this or that?" Yes, Han is amazing and he does like Corellian Whiskey and The Falcon…I wonder why?_

_"Han looks pretty nice today, don't you think?" He looks that way every day!_

_"Did you see Han last night?" Who do you think I am? Chewie? Cause the last time I checked I am not a Wookiee. (This is where they give me a confused look and I respond with a "NO! Of course I didn't see him last night. I'm certainly not his stalker!")_

_"You and Han really had something going on last night!" Really? I didn't notice, because as I just explained to you, I didn't see him last night!_

_"Spending a lot of time on the Falcon lately, aren't you?" Is that so? Maybe it's because the Falcon has normal heating and the only real food on base?_

_"Have you ever noticed Han's eyes?" For the sake of the Gods, of course I've noticed his eyes, and how they change colors, and have what seem to be flecks of gold in them sometimes,(but in reality I respond with a no, I've never noticed anything special about them)._

_You see, this has been going on for years now. I know some of them ask me these things just because they already figured out that I love him (although, as I said before, at that point I had no idea), while others really do take an interest in the man, which I totally understand why. I mean, how could you not take an interest in a half naked Han Solo?_

* * *

><p>Han was in the maintenance access hole in the Main Hold and Leia was sitting a few feet away, organizing the tools so they weren't so jumbled between the boxes, when the sound of a golden droid approaching grew louder.<p>

Leia heard Han groan quietly and when she looked up she noticed the golden droid enter the room.

"What do you want Goldenrod?" asked Han, ducking down into the hole to avoid him.

"Captain Solo, I was just wondering if there is any way I could be of assistance."

His head popped back up from the floor, an annoyed look on his face, "No, there's not really anything you can do."

Leia laughed lightly, "Han, what if he…"

"No" he cut her off.

"If I may say so sir, we are only a few days from the planet Bespin. I believe I remember you saying that the ship should be in the best condition possible, and I have noticed many things that could be repaired."

"He's right Han, you did say that" she pointed out before he could respond.

Han groaned again, "I suppose he could try and repair the rest of the shields."

"Of course Captain Solo!" the droid responded, turning around to move out of the room.

"And Goldenrod?" Han asked.

"Yes Sir?"

"Don't screw anything up."

"I wouldn't dream of it Sir! I am a protocol droid, after all. It is not in my programming to purposefully sabotage anything" he finished before leaving the room.

Leia laughed again as Han ducked back down to work. She got up and moved towards the hole and threw her legs over the side. "I can't believe my eyes" she teased, "Han Solo…being nice…to a droid!"

"Hey now Sweetheart" he continued, moving back up to look at her. "Just because I seemed nice doesn't mean I had an alternative motive."

"And what kind of motive would that be?" she asked.

"I don't know, maybe one that would include him not interrupting this" he finished as he brought her into a kiss. He ran his hands over her legs, starting at her feet and moving all the way up her leg. When he reached her hips he held on to her and pulled her down to him, so she too was in the hollow of the floor. He held her tightly against him, both hands on her back.

Unsure what to do with her own hands, Leia moved one into his hair and kept the other tucked underneath his arm, letting it rest on his back, as if she never wanted to let go.

"Captain Solo, Mistress Leia, I noticed that…oh!" came the annoying voice of the droid, returned with a question.

Han released Leia, who turned to look up at the droid above them. "What Goldenrod?" he asked quickly, trying to stay calm and not blast the droid to pieces.

"I just noticed that the front and back shield systems both need repairs. Would you like me to do a scan of what needs to be done?"

"Fine, whatever…" Han responded, turning Leia's head back toward him and leaning in for another kiss.

"Of course Captain Solo, it is my pleasure" 3P0 said, causing Han to stop his approach toward Leia.

"Yeah yeah" Han continued, quickly looking back up at the droid and returning to Leia once more.

"Oh, and if I may say so, it seems to me that you won't be getting much work finish if you continue the way you are" he finished before leaving the room slowly.

Han looked down at Leia, "You know, if that droid doesn't purposefully sabotage things, then I'm a Bantha" he finished before she pulled him into another kiss.

* * *

><p>Later that evening Leia headed toward the cockpit to find Han, who was just ending his shift.<p>

"Do you just enjoy sitting in the cockpit or is there another reason you always come in during my shift?" Han asked as he watched her enter the room, a smile growing on his face.

"Of course, who couldn't love the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon?" she asked sarcastically.

Han gave her a look. "You stick with that Sweetheart. So why are you really here?"

"To make sure you don't kill 3P0."

"Oh really? And how do you think you're going to stop me from doing that?" he asked.

"Well, I figured I'd start with this" she said, throwing the hatch on the door.

"What are you up to Princess?"

Leia just smiled. "And then I'd continue with this" she said, sitting crosswise in his lap, her arms around his neck.

"I'm liking this so far Your Highness."

"And then finish with this" she continued, pulling him into a kiss.

Just as he had done before, he ran a hand along her leg, while the other went to rest on her back, pulling her so she was more parallel with him. Soon he found her straddling his lap, her hands woven into his hair, while he lightly touched the skin exposed at the bottom of her shirt. Slowly he pulled upwards, his hand running along the smooth skin of her back. He felt her tense beneath his touch.

"Wait" he said, suddenly pulling away. "If this is about last night…"

"What?" she asked quickly, breathing heavily.

"Leia, I'm serious. I don't want you thinking that you have to do something just because of me."

"But, I…I want to Han."

He looked at her, and he could see the want in her eyes. The want to learn. The want for him. "Listen, as much as I would love to teach you so many things right now, I can't."

"And why not Han?" she asked angrily. "Isn't this what you've wanted?"

"Well of course it's what I want, I just…" he started, helping her off his lap and into the seat across from him. "Alright, you're exactly right. This is what I want, and Gods do I ever want it. If I had one wish in this galaxy it would be to lock you in my cabin and never leave the bed, but I can't, ok?"

"You still haven't told me why!" she yelled. "If this is what you want and what I want too, then why is it a problem?"

"Because I'm not going to do that to you!"

"Do what to me?"

"Make you feel like I love you more than anything just to turn around and leave" he finally said. "If we…if we do this now then it's just going to make my leaving that much harder."

"And how should you know? Oh that's right, I must have forgotten about all those other times you probably have done just that, fucked someone and left" she yelled back at him.

The expression on Han's face changed then, at first it was full of anger, and then it grew serious. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it and then got up, unlocked the door and walked out.

"Han, wait" Leia pleaded, jumping from her seat and following after him, knowing she had gone too far.

"Mistress Leia!" came the voice of 3P0 from down the hall the opposite way. She watched as Han moved into the cabin, but she was forced to reply to the droid.

"What 3P0?" she asked angrily.

"I heard yelling, so I was wondering if there would be any way I could be of service."

"Yes, just watch the cockpit please" she added, moving quickly away from the droid.

Arriving at the cabin she found the door locked. "Han?" she called through the door before knocking. No answer. She called again, and then realized that this must have been what it was like when she would run off and he would come to find her. Giving up and deciding to let him have a few minutes to cool down, she headed towards the galley.

**[I heard yelling]** commented Chewie, who was already sitting there.

"Well where do you think that came from?" she asked, sitting down across from him.

**[Let's see here, and this is just a wild guess…you and Han again?]**

"Who else?" she continued.

**[And what was it about this time? What did he do?]**

"Actually, he did nothing wrong Chewie. He was just trying to protect me."

The Wookiee didn't speak for a minute.** [Wait, let me see]** he finally continued, **[You…made Han angry…and not the other way around?]**

"Well, he made me angry too, but that's beyond the point" she said, eating a piece of the bread 3P0 had made for dinner.

**[So where is he now?]**

"In the cabin. He locked the door and won't answer."

**[What in the galaxy did you do to make him that angry?]**

"I have no idea Chewie" she said simply, turning away, hoping to, for once, avoid a discussion with the wookiee.

**[I know you're trying to avoid talking to me about this, which means that's it's probably something involving your physical relationship with Han]** he continued, causing a look of shock to appear on Leia's face. **[But I'm not going to ask about it. I'm just going to tell you to remember that he's had a troubled past, one that has not been forgiving in any way, and that is something that you should understand more than anyone.]**

"How did you know that…"

**[Princess, I have lived long enough to understand when there's tension between two people and the only way it can be resolved is through…]**

"I get the idea Chewie."

**[Yes, anyways, just be open, and listen to him. Han is only trying to protect you, right? You even admitted that yourself.]**

"So what am I supposed to do now?"

**[Give him some time to cool off.]**

"And just how long is 'some time?'"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/20/3902**_

_**Well, I suppose I knew this has been coming for a long time now.**_

_**Granted, I've always loved beautiful women, and I certainly loved having beautiful women in my bed, but I truthfully meant what I said last night. I'm not going to do something like that. I've known a ton of scumbags that do just what she said…fuck someone and then leave, no meaning, and often times it leaves the girl wondering why he never came back. But those…those creatures are disgusting, and I am certainly not one of them. Just to have Leia even imply that I am like that is terrible.**_

_**I know how it feels, to have a serious relationship with someone, someone you think you love, and to have it end abruptly, finding out that they didn't care for you at all. I would never do that consciously to Leia, never in my life, and at this point, I'm more afraid of doing that than I am of leaving to face Jabba.**_

_**And that's why I can't do that, I can't make her feel that way, the way Bria made me feel, and then leave. If, someday, I manage to get away from Jabba as a free man, I will come back, and then maybe I could make love to Leia like I want to, like I've wanted to do this entire trip, and probably even before that.**_

_**And I know it's not Leia's fault, she's just being brave because she knows it's what I want, and for the first time, I think she wants that too. Maybe out of fear of a missed opportunity. Maybe just because she wants me to be happy. Or even just because she loves me, the same way I love her.**_

_**Not that I've told her that.**_

* * *

><p>Han unlocked the door to the cabin and stepped out. It was late, much later than he had expected. He had been hungry, considering he didn't eat dinner with Leia and Chewie.<p>

Walking into the galley to find food, he looked through to the main hold. Although the lights were dim he was able to make out the form of Leia on the oversized chair, curled up and trying to sleep.

He felt terrible. She had come after he left the cockpit, and he had totally ignored her, and she had come once more, with a plate of food he expected, but she left after waiting for several minutes. And now she was sleeping in the main hold, cold and alone, and it was all his fault.

Han moved toward her, and grabbed a blanket from the supply cabinet, laying it over her so she would at least stay warm until he got something to eat. Looking in the cooling chamber he found a plate of food with a note.

_Han,_

_I tried to bring you food, but you didn't answer the door. I'm sure you're angry with me, and I really don't mean what I said. I'll sleep in the main hold tonight, and you can have the cabin. I really am sorry Han._

_-Leia_

And how was he supposed to respond to that? Grabbing the plate of food he quietly ate while watching the young women in the room next door. She looked peaceful, meaning that she was currently sleeping soundly, something he knew she treasured. But she still looked cold, and he hated that he forced her to sleep there.

So after finishing the food she had left for him, he walked back towards her and gently picked her up, blanket and all. Carrying her in his arms he made his way back to the cabin and gently set her on the bed before crawling in next to her.

"I love you Leia" he whispered before lightly kissing her forehead. Looking down at the woman next to him, he could see a gentle smile appear on her lips, and he knew, in that moment, that she loved him too.


	35. Day 35: Lost Love

Day 35: Lost Love

She walked through a dark hallway, and like many of her other dreams, she had no idea where she was. While she couldn't see much, she did notice that the walls were white, reminding her once again of Alderaan.

Leia often felt, in these recent nightmares, that she was on her home planet, in the palace she knew so well as a child. But at the same time, they were different. The curves weren't as sharp, and the palace on Alderaan was never this dark.

Walking slowly through the darkened rooms she discovered a terrifying sound, slowly getting closer. A breath, singular and robotic, moving closer and closer. Leia turned, trying to run and get as far away from it as possible, but with every step she took, every corner she turned, the sound grew louder.

Suddenly she found herself face to face with none other than the large form of Darth Vader. His mechanical breathing echoed in her ears, but she stayed strong, looking into the darkened mask with as much force as she knew he gazed upon her with.

"Darth Vader" she uttered, disgusted.

"Princess" he replied. "I was hoping you would join us for a special occasion."

Leia wanted to turn, to run as far away as possible, but she found herself unable to move. The form in front of her turned, and she followed, now aware of the stormtroopers around her. He led her further through the city, down on elevators, and to a darkened room in what must have been a dungeon.

There, in front of her, although on the other side of a glass window, was Han. He was strapped to a torture device, and as he was lowered she could hear his screams.

"HAN!" she screamed, and she struggled against the hands that now lowered on her shoulders, preventing her from running to him.

"It really is a shame you know" came the deep voice behind her.

"What did you do to him?" she stuttered.

"What did I do? Your Highness, I believe you are mistaken. I did not do anything. Captain Solo is there because of you."

"No…No!" she screamed. "Han! Han!"

* * *

><p>"Han! No…" came the cry that woke Han. He instantly opened his eyes to see Leia thrashing in the bed next to him, her cries more insistent than ever before.<p>

"Leia…Leia, wake up!" he yelled to her, his hands, one of each shoulder, shook her small form, willing her to wake from the nightmare he knew plagued her sleep. "Please, wake up. It's just a nightmare."

Soon the screaming slowed, although she continued to whisper his name on her breath, and he continued to shake her lightly.

Finally, she woke, her eyes jumping open. "Han?" she asked, as if she was confused. She reached a hand out, running it along the side of his face, just to make sure he was really there.

"It's fine Leia. It was just a nightmare. Nothing's happened to me. I'm fine, see."

"Oh Han" she sobbed, turning so her face was pressed into his chest.

"It's alright" he soothed, rubbing her back slowly as he pulled her to him.

"It…it was terrible. You were being tortured."

"Hey, I'm not being tortured. I'm fine. That's not going to happen."

"But it was so real" she continued, still pressed against him. "And it…it was all…my…"

"No, it was a nightmare. It wasn't real. You didn't do anything."

"But it was my fault Han" she finally confessed. "I did that to you. I was the reason you were being tortured."

"Nonsense. That's never going to happen."

"It was so real" she whispered, the tears stopping and her breathing finally slowing once again.

"I'm fine Leia. Everything's fine."

* * *

><p>When Leia woke again, she grew confused. She was in a bed, in the cabin, with Han sleeping soundly next to her. The last thing she remembered, at least consciously, was falling asleep in the main hold, on the oversized chair. Since they she knew there had been nightmares, and that Han had comforted her, but that was it.<p>

She looked at the man next to her, and it was in these moments where she realized just how much older he was. Even with the calmness he found in sleep, the creases that lined his face were still there. Lines that had strengthened within the past few years, and she knew it was because of her. Even so, he had a sense of calm when he was sleeping, as if the scoundrel had left, leaving just the nice man she knew he was underneath.

Slowly, Leia reached out and ran her fingers lightly over the creases, running her hand from his forehead down over his cheeks and to his lips, which were slightly parted in slumber.

As she pulled her hand away, his eyes opened, revealing the eyes she knew so well. Before he could say anything she lowered herself to him and kissed him. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a lingering one, that he felt even as she pulled away.

"Good Morning Princess."

"Morning Scoundrel" she responded.

"What was that for?" he asked, slowly getting up so he was sitting next to her.

"No reason."

"Come on, you must have had some reason!" he continued, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him as he leaned against the wall.

"Maybe because I wanted to wake you up?" she laughed, leaning further into his embrace.

"Well I'll tell you Sweetheart, that's certainly a nice way to wake up."

"Han, how…how did I get here?"

"Well, I rescued you from the Death Star and…" he teased.

Leia responded by lightly hitting him. "Seriously. The last thing I remember I was falling asleep in Chewie's chair in the main hold."

Han took a deep breath, and his face grew serious, lightly resting against the top of her head. "Let's see, I was mad at you, sort of at least, and I locked the door to the cabin."

"That part I remember!"

"Let me finish! Now, I went out to find something to eat, and I found your note. I took you back here and that was the end of it."

"You brought me back here?"

"You looked pretty cold out there" he pointed out.

"That's what a blanket is for Han" she added. "You didn't need to bring me back here."

"I put a blanket on you and you still looked cold. Plus, how could I leave you out there when the whole thing was my fault in the first place?"

"You're fault?" she asked, moving out of his embrace to look at him. "Han, I'm pretty sure this is my fault."

"No, it's mine."

"But…" she tried to plead.

"No" he interrupted, "This was my problem from the start. You were right, and you're an amazing person for wanting to give me that, even though you weren't totally ready. But you have to understand why I can't do that. Even though I want nothing more than to make love to you right now, I can't because it's just going to make this whole thing difficult."

Leia was silent before asking, "And how would you know that?"

Han sighed, "You remember me talking about Bria right?"

"Yeah, and how she betrayed you and left you and how you thought you loved her."

"Well, there's something I didn't tell you." He looked to Leia, who stayed silent, although her eyes told him to continue. "I didn't just think I loved her, I did love her, and I asked her to marry me. I was young and foolish, and when she asked me to stay with her one night, I did."

"And you?" she quietly asked.

"Yes, I slept with her. But the next morning she was gone."

"That's when she left you?"

"Yeah, that's when she left me. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die or something after that. I couldn't believe what had happened. What she had done to me."

"And what did you do then?"

"I decided that I would never do that to someone" he continued. "And more importantly, I decided I would never fall in love again."

* * *

><p>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<p>

_21st Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Han doesn't love me?_

_He told me today that after Bria left him that he made a decision to never do what Bria did to him, which I can totally agree with. If I had known about her past when she was in the Rebellion, I'm sure I would have acted differently to her. Although right now I'm acting much different than I ever did with Han, and I'm certainly acting different now that I ever will again._

_But then he said something else, that more importantly he decided to never fall in love again. So does this mean that he doesn't love me? Or is he just trying to make it easier for when he leaves. Maybe he thinks that if he convinces me he will convince himself, so that when he leaves we can both move on with our lives. Not that I'm going to be able to do that without him._

_It sounds so cheesy really, this whole relationship. We were practically enemies when we got on this ship, and now, only a few days from the end, we are completely and helplessly in love with each other. And just as in every cheesy romance holo, he will leave for some reason or another, but unfortunately, unlike those stories, he won't come back. He won't waltz in to my office a few days after leaving and hold me and tell me that he loves me and will never leave me again, no matter what kind of price Jabba has on his head._

_And maybe, just maybe, he's trying to keep the realization of what he will do to me from hitting him because no matter how much we try to avoid it, he will be my Bria._

* * *

><p>Chewie was sitting at the holo-chess table and Leia was curled up in the over-sized chair when Han entered the cabin that evening. They had decided earlier that they would watch a holo to pass the time, time that seemed to go slower by the minute, until they got to Bespin.<p>

"I saved you a spot, and here's your food" Leia said from the chair, holding out a plate and moving over so he could sit next to her.

He walked towards her, his boots clicking softly on the floor, "Thank's Sweetheart." He grabbed the plate from her hands and carefully sat next to her.

Chewie started the holo, and Han was disappointed to see that it was one of the wookiee's favorites. It was another film from Kashyyyk, although Han hadn't seen this one enough times to know what it was exactly. It was an old film, and it started out showing the colony of wookiee's gathering for Life Day.

"What movie is this?" Leia whispered to him.

"Another of his Kashyyyk videos, although this one is more interesting…I think" he said as he finished eating the plate of food. Setting it on the table next to him he wrapped his arms around Leia and brought her to rest on him.

He felt Leia laughed slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder. The movie continued to show the period of time leading up to the clone wars, and for once, Chewie didn't fall asleep during the holo. Instead he stayed attentive to the storyline and the action that the film brought.

When the holo was finished, Chewie quickly turned off the projector and left the room without a word to the two humans sitting in the chair.

"What's his problem?" Leia asked.

Han sighed, "I don't think you know this, but Chewie was involved in the Clone Wars. He lost family there, and saw the rise of the Empire. He saved a Jedi Master named…yoga or yogurt or something."

"I had no idea…" Leia said quietly. "Is that why…"

"If you're asking if it's the reason he's wanted to stay this whole time, you'd be right. Chewie hates to see his son brought up in a galaxy where fear lurks around every corner."

"I know exactly how he feels" she added.

"Don't we all Sweetheart?" he asked, planting a light kiss on her forehead.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/21/3902**_

_**I feel terrible.**_

_**I realized this morning after talking with Leia that maybe I'm doing to her already the one thing I've been trying to avoid, and I feel like I'm lying to her too.**_

_**When I told her about Bria this morning I told her that I had decided and promised myself that I would never fall in love again, but I have, I admit it. I love Leia more than anything in this galaxy, and yet I still have to leave. And it just makes it harder to know that she loves me too, and that by leaving I'm going to cause her pain.**_

_**I feel ridiculous for going on about this in just about every entry, but I can't get it off my mind. I can't get over the fact that I'm doing to Leia the very thing Bria did to me. Even though we haven't slept together, it's still going to be the same, because for the first time ever, I love someone more than everything, more than the Falcon, more than life, and nothing is going to change that.**_

_**But for her, the second I lift off of the rebel base, her world will change forever. She won't have an impending death to take the edge off of her sadness like I will, and she's already been through so much in her life. I guess overall I'm just afraid that she's going to try and attempt suicide again, and on the off chance I am able to come back, it will probably already be over for her. And that's certainly something I won't be able to live with.**_

_**All I want is her safety. Nothing for me, nothing about my safety, or the hope that I will escape from Jabba. Just her safety, although apparently that's too much to ask for in this galaxy.**_

* * *

><p>As Han slid into the bunk next to Leia that night he found she was unusually quiet. She hadn't said a word to him since he had gotten back from the cockpit. He looked at her as she pulled the blanket over them and settled in, her back to him.<p>

"Leia? What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing" she insisted.

"Come on. I know you better than that. Something's bothering you."

She rolled over so she was facing him, her face only inches from his. "Last night. Did you tell me everything that happened?"

"Yeah, I did, why?"

"I…I swear I could have heard…nevermind. It was probably just in my head."

Han, knowing very well what she must be referring to, but suddenly not ready to admit what he had said, just responded, "Alright. Is that it then? Or is there still something else bothering you?"

"Yeah" she admitted. "What happened with you and Bria when you saw her again?"

"I yelled at her, and she yelled back, saying that it was her fault. Eventually I came to love her again, because I thought that maybe this time she would love me back, but it didn't happen, and she left…again."

"And you were…ok, with that?"

"Of course not, but I had a job, a smuggling career that still had to continue in order to make ends meet. Plus there was Chewie, and his family. And, of course, the Empire to avoid."

"So you got over her?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But you have to remember, I met someone else too."

"Oh really?" she asked, a small smile on her lips."

"Of course. She's kind of young though, maybe a little too young for me."

"Well if it helps I met someone too, and he's just a little too old."

"Is that so?" he asked, moving closer to her.

"It is, and he saw right past my defense system."

"And what kind of system is that?" he asked.

"Something about dirty hands" she replied before kissing him.

He pulled away, "Sounds like a terrible way to avoid scoundrels."

"I already told you how many times, I don't like scoundrels. I like nice men."

"And what does that make me?"

"You, Han Solo, are definitely a nice man. A scruffy looking, nerfherding, scoundrel like, nice man" she finished, wrapping her arms around his torso and laying her head against him, letting her eyes close as she did so.

"You know Sweetheart, I think I can live with that description."


	36. Day 36: Wisdom

Day 36: Wisdom

**[Good morning Princess]** Chewie greeted her as she walked into the room the following morning. Sleep was, as always, evident in her eyes, and he wondered if she had been up again because of nightmares.

"Morning Chewie" she responded, yawning as she grabbed two mugs.

**[Are you taking one of those to Han or are you just that tired?]** he asked, watching her pour the caf.

Leia laughed, "Yeah, one of them is for Han. I figured it is the least I could do after last night."

**[Oh, what happened?]** Chewie asked warily.

She moved so she sat across from him at the table, the mugs sitting in front of her, "Nothing like that Chewie. I just had another nightmare and he ended up staying up with me for a couple hours until I fell back asleep."

**[A couple of hours?]**

She yawned again, "Yeah. I don't know why but I think they're getting worse. And now more than ever I have this feeling that we shouldn't be going to Bespin."

**[You know we have no other option.]**

"I know, but it's still a feeling. I'm sure everything's going to be fine though. I mean, if you and Han trust this Lando person then I should too, right?"

**[Well, I suppose]** he answered quietly. When she looked like she was going to ask further into his response, he changed the subject. **[So I take it that you and Han are ok again?]**

Leia eyed him carefully before responding, "Yeah, I guess we are. You were right. I just needed to give him some space."

**[It was about Bria, wasn't it?]**

"It was" she sighed. "Chewie, do you think Han really loved her?"

**[Well, I didn't see him the first time, as that was before I had met him, but when she appeared a few years ago I could see a change. He looked at her differently from anyone else. Kinder, more caring. Why? Is something troubling you?]**

"It's just…I don't think I'll ever be able to match her. He's got this idea in his head of what she was, or what he thought she was, and I'm never going to be able to match that."

**[Princess, I think you already have.]**

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, looking back to the wookiee.

**[It means that I've seen the way he looks at you, and it certainly isn't the same as he looked at Bria…it's more.]**

"That doesn't mean he loves me Chewie" she argued.

**[Then why, Princess, did he always find you on the base when you were down, when you were drunk, and even attempting suicide? Why didn't he leave your side when you were injured a few weeks ago? And why did he stay up with you for hours last night?]**

"I…I don't know Chewie. But I still don't think he'll ever love me that way. He said it himself, remember? He never wants to love again."

**[Promises aren't always made to be kept Princess.]**

Leia almost laughed, "What? Chewie, I'm pretty sure the point of a promise is to keep it!"

**[Well of course, but often they are made in reckless fashion. Promises emerge from anger and sadness. It's those kinds of promises that are made to be broken.]**

"So you're saying that Han made a promise to himself to never love again because he was so distraught over Bria, but that that promise was made to be broken, and now it has been because he loves me?" She turned away and laughed, "that makes no sense."

**[I don't think it needs to make sense Princess. You love him and he loves you, it is as simple as that.]**

"And has he told you that?"

**[Yes, many times…]**

"Oh yeah, I forgot, he told you over a month ago, right?" she asked, interrupting him. Now standing, her hands moved to pick up the mugs.

**[Yes, he did, one of many times, and he meant it then too, just as he has before.]**

"Chewie, I may love him, but maybe that declaration of love he made means nothing more than one of those broken promises." With that she hurried from the room.

As the wookiee watched her go he turned back to his work and muttered to himself, **[I hope you know what you're doing Cub.]**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/22/3902**_

_**I have come to the realization that we are almost done with this blasted trip. It doesn't seem like it's been almost 40 days, but maybe that's because I've spent almost every waking second with Leia, and time always seems to go faster when I'm around her.**_

_**Granted, last night didn't go very fast at all. In fact, it just made me more worried than I was to begin with. Leia woke up, franticly kicking and screaming, most of which was my name. I tried to wake her up, but just as the past few nights, it was hard to do so. It's almost as if she can't wake up. Like the nightmare is a reality that's impossible to avoid.**_

_**But eventually she did wake, and, just as the night before, she looked at me like I wasn't there, as if I was dead or something. It took me a couple of minutes to convince her that everything was ok, that she had done nothing wrong and that I was safe and alive. Then she started muttering something again about it being her fault for my torture.**_

_**Now, she did this the other night too, and that was the first time, but it still makes me worried. What kind of thing could have happened for her to be having nightmares where she's torturing me with the Empire? It makes no sense at all. Something about Alderaan I could see, but this is just strange. Not to mention the fact that she hasn't really had too many nightmares in the past year or so, up until this trip. Of course, I'd find her every other week or so screaming and yelling, but she was always very easy to wake and comfort…minus the fact that she sometimes couldn't stand me being there.**_

_**Anyway, after her nightmare last night she couldn't fall back asleep, and even though every part of me wanted to just go back to sleep, I couldn't leave her like that. So we sat and I just rubbed her back for a while and then she talked and then I just talked for a while, rambling on about some adventure I had with Chewie and eventually she fell back asleep.**_

_**Sometimes I wish I could take away the nightmares forever, and I really do worry about what will happen when I leave. Luke certainly won't comfort her like I have, and if he does, it won't be the same. Plus, we don't even know if he's alive. Last thing we heard his speeder was shot down. So without me, who will comfort her? She won't even have Chewie to talk with.**_

_**I just hope that I can pay off Jabba real fast and get back safely…because if I don't, it might be too late.**_

* * *

><p>Han was sitting on the bed, typing away at his data pad when Leia came in carrying two mugs of caf. "One of those for me?" he asked.<p>

"Yeah. It might be a little cooler than expected though because I kind of got caught up in talking with Chewie" she admitted, handing him one and then sitting next to him on the bunk.

"That's fine. It's the thought that counts" he continued.

"So what were you doing on the data pad?" she asked, looking at the pad sitting next to them, still turned on.

"Just some records on what is left to do before we get to Bespin in a few days."

"Wow" Leia sighed.

"What?"

"I can't believe it's only a few days away."

"Oh, yeah. I can't believe it either" he said, taking a sip of the caf. It wasn't too cold, although it was a bit cooler than he normally drank it.

She shook her head, "So what is left to do then?"

He turned to the pad, "Well, if you can finish sorting through those tools you were working on yesterday and then organize the rest of the spare parts in the back hold, then we should be good there."

"And you?" she continued, taking a drink from her own mug.

"I want to finish up those shields today and hopefully Chewie can finish the updates to the navcomputer."

"What about 3P0?" Leia asked quietly.

"I actually…I was thinking that maybe he could watch the cockpit full time."

Leia laughed, "You're kidding right?" He just stared at her. "No? You're serious? You…Han Solo…want a droid to watch over your ship full time?"

"Unless you have a better idea?"

"No, not really, but it's just so…strange" she added.

"Well you know what him watching the cockpit all the time means, right?" he asked, growing closer to her after he set their mugs on the table beside the bunk.

"I don't know, but I'm sure you can enlighten me."

He kissed her once, then pulled away, "No…interruptions" he said between kisses. She leaned into him, kissing him with as much passion as he kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and he did the same, pulling her into his lap. His mouth moved down along her neck while her head drooped to rest on his shoulder.

[Are you two staying in there all day or are we actually going to get some work done?] came the angry voice of a wookiee through the door, causing Han to groan as he pulled away from Leia.

"We'll be out in a minute Pal" he yelled back.

"No interruptions huh?" she asked, laughing as they got up and she grabbed the mugs.

"We can never get a break, can we Sweetheart?"

"Never" she responded, kissing him once more before opening the door and following him out.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_22nd Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I've spent, literally, the entire day, working._

_Not that this is a bad thing, it's just, I'm not used to it anymore. I have to say, going back to the Alliance is certainly going to be a change. For the last 35 days I've been everything BUT a member of High Council, and you know, I think for the last 35 days I've been more of myself than I have been in the last 3 years._

_But either way, after our interruption this morning in the cabin I watched as Han asked 3P0 to watch the cockpit. Han actually asked me to tell him, but I made him go do it himself. Granted, this was partly for personal amusement, of which I received, but also because it's his ship, not mine. Han looked like he was ready to kill the droid by the time we left the cockpit, but thankfully 3P0 agreed and only grumbled a bit about how he wasn't going to be of any service sitting in the cockpit all day._

_After that I went to the main hold, where I continued sorting out those tools. You'd think that on a spaceship this small you wouldn't need 4 of the same exact tool, but as Han kindly explained to me, things on such a LARGE ship get lost. Always looking to brag about the Falcon, isn't he? Once I was finished with that it was almost lunch, so I went and found us some ration bars. We actually all stopped working to eat, and then Han decided that for the rest of the trip we should stay on rations, that way on the last night we can have a special dinner. I thought this was a great idea, agreed, and then realized about an hour later that it meant I have to eat rations for the next few days. Thank the Gods we have enough caf._

_I've spent the remainder of the day sorting through the piles of spare parts, and by the time I was finished, I needed a shower…and for once not because I love water showers. I was covered in grease! I'm not sure how these pilots put up with it, but I can really see why Han has a water shower now._

_But along with working, I've spent time thinking over what Chewie said this morning. What if Han's promise really was made to be broken? I know I said that after Alderaan I promised myself that if things got too bad I would just put an end to it, but I was drunk at the time and was angry and distraught. Obviously the promise was never kept, although it was really Han who helped me break it._

_And the wookiee was right. If Han didn't love me, why did he find me during those times where I almost made that promise come true? Why did he stay by my bed for two days straight a few weeks ago when I was injured after that battle with the rogues? And why in the galaxy did he stay up with me for a couple hours last night, just rubbing my back, running my hair through his fingers and telling me of adventures he had with Chewie until I fell back asleep? That's not something that someone who's 'just a friend' regularly does…and you have to include the kissing too. Everytime we kiss it's like everything is, for once, right in the galaxy, and I certainly didn't feel that way when I kissed Luke._

_So maybe he does love me. I mean, I swear I heard him say something the other night when I was asleep…but we all know that with my history of nightmares and dreams, it could very easily just be my imagination._

* * *

><p>Leia walked into the main hold, where Chewie was still sitting reprogramming and updating the navigation computer.<p>

"Working in here and not the cockpit?"

**[Who in their right mind would be working in the cockpit right now when you can do the same thing from right here…without the presence of a droid?]** he asked, turned to face her for a moment before going back to his work.

"Point taken" she continued as she sat down at the holo chess table. She didn't say anything more, she just sat there and watched him work.

**[Was there something you wanted to talk about?]** he asked, completely aware of her stare.

"Yeah…listen. I just wanted to say sorry for this morning."

**[There is no reason for you to be sorry Princess. I understand your frustration.]**

"It's just, he hasn't admitted he loves me to my face."

**[And have you said anything to him about your love?]**

Leia looked away and then quietly responded with a "No."

**[Then how can you expect him to do the same? Admitting his love for you was a big step, even just to admit it to me. Even to admit it to himself.]**

"Because he said he was never going to love again, right?" she laughed.

**[Exactly. But once he met you he saw his mistake and realized that maybe there is someone worth loving, and that someone is you.]**

"But why me? I think I was being pretty obvious back on Hoth."

**[Yes, obvious that you love him]** the wookiee answered, laughing. He moved from his location at the computer and came to sit next to her. **[Han's always been one to love, but he's never had that love returned. Well, unless you call my love of him the same thing.]**

Leia laughed, "I think this is a little different Chewie."

**[Anyway, so when he noticed that maybe there was something there with you, he stopped and looked around. He's always been able to see how much you love him, once he let that love in.]**

"But I really didn't even admit it until this trip."

**[Princess, I think you were the last one to admit it. I saw it just before Han. Although you were always fighting, you would still act differently around him. You acted one way with members of the Alliance, another way with Luke, and yet completely different whenever Han was around.]**

"That doesn't mean that I loved him back then though" she pointed out.

**[Maybe you didn't realize it because you were so afraid of the possibility of loving him, and having that love returned.]**

Leia was about to say something in return, but the wookiee continued, **[You and Han are not very different from one another. You both have gone through loss, and have felt that you will never have love returned, but when you finally have that love, you both failed to notice it until now.]**

"But you just said that…"

**[I know what I said Princess, and Han has known for longer than you have, but it doesn't mean that he was at peace with it. You've both changed on this trip. You've accepted that you love him, and he's accepted that too…he's accepted the fact that someone could love him in return.]**

"Oh" was all she managed to say. "Thanks" she continued as she stood and moved towards the hall. Chewie walked back to the computer, but paused as she turned around. "You know Chewie, I don't know how you came to be this way, but you must be one of the wisest beings in the galaxy."

**[I don't know about that Princess. I've met some pretty wise 'beings.' But I have been alive long enough to…]**

"…to understand these things?" she finished, laughing.

**[Exactly.]**

"Goodnight Chewie, and thanks again" she finished.

**[Goodnight Princess. Sleep well]** he said before watching her go and laughing to himself as he returned to his work.


	37. Day 37: A Jedi's Vision

Day 37: A Jedi's Vision

_**Log of the Millennium Falcon**_

_**5/23/3902**_

_**There's still so much to do!**_

_**Thanks to Leia, the tools and most of the back hold are all organized, so at least when we get to Bespin this place will look pretty clean. Not that this is a big deal, but it's always nice to make a good impression, right?**_

_**Anyway, the shields are almost back up and Chewie told me this morning that the navcomputer is up and running again. Thankfully we haven't needed it over the past few days. Granted, once you're as close to the planet as we are, you don't need the navigation system much anymore, especially when someone is in the cockpit all the time.**_

_**Then again, 3P0 is the one sitting in the cockpit at the moment, and I'm starting to think that maybe that wasn't the best idea. I mean, he's a droid! Plus he seems to have a love of messing with things, and freaking out, and especially interrupting.**_

_**I mean, even if I did want something to happen with Leia, we'd still get interrupted, and that's getting annoying. I mean, we don't have much time left together so can't you just ignore the fact that there's work to do and let me kiss her and spend time with her in peace? Apparently that never happens, at least with us. And I doubt it ever will.**_

_**I have, on the other hand, started to think about what I want to do with Leia when we get to Bespin. I figure it won't take more than a day or two to do repairs, and I won't have to be there all the time, so I figure maybe I could take her to a nice meal or something. Yeah yeah, I know…Han Solo, all dressed nice and eating at a fancy restaurant…and with a Princess no less! But I feel like it would be nice for both of us. Plus, at a dinner like that, what's going to interrupt? Chewie will be on the ship, and 3P0 will…hopefully…be powered down, plus, no one is going to bother two strangers having a nice dinner, especially when they are obviously there together enjoying each other's company.**_

_**If that's what you even call it.**_

* * *

><p>Han walked into the back hold to find Leia finishing with the last of the spare parts. She had a smudge of grease on her forehead and her hands were lined with the black substance.<p>

"Almost finished Sweetheart?" he asked, moving into the room.

"Yeah, pretty much" she replied, taking in a deep breath after setting down one of the heavier pieces. She turned and began to move the next one, and while she did so he walked over to her.

Her back was turned towards him and after she set down the next piece he wrapped his arms around her from behind, his lips traveling to the skin on the back of her neck. She moaned lightly and leaned into the kiss. "What are you doing Han?" she managed to speak out.

"Just checking on how you're doing" he responded, whispering against her smooth skin.

"And this is what you call 'checking?'" she asked.

"Well it sounds like you're enjoying it" he pointed out as he moved away, turning her in his arms so she was facing him. She instantly pulled him into a kiss and he slowly backed her up so she was against the wall. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held tightly to him, standing on the tips of her toes in an effort to deepen the kiss.

He complied, leaning further against her. Suddenly she felt the need to wrap her legs around his waist, to let him carry and lead her to a place she was so uncertain of, but at the same time, she kept herself in check.

This was the man that was going to leave, and doing something like that would just make it harder. No matter how serious this relationship was, there was no going there anymore. It was too late.

"Han" she breathed, pulling away. "We…we have to stop."

He looked at her, his eyes understanding her meaning. He slowly pulled away, but took her hands into his. "Ok" he said simply.

"My hands are dirty you know" she laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"I know, but as we discussed, dirty hands are a pretty weak defense system against scoundrels."

"So what did you really come here for Han?" Leia asked, changing the subject and pulling away to continue working.

Han paused for a moment, but then sat on a crate nearby, his arms on his knees, "I wanted to see if you need any help. I know that some of the parts aren't exactly light."

"No kidding" she laughed, moving another of the heavier ones. She set it down and then moved to the next one, but Han intercepted her.

"Wait, I'll move this one, you do that one" he said, pointing to one a bit lighter.

"You don't need to do that…what about the shields?"

"All fixed Your Highness" he said, picking up the part and moving it to where the others were across the room.

"Then don't you have something else to be doing?" following him with her own spare piece.

"I believe what I need to be doing is helping you" he returned.

"So there isn't anything else to fix?"

"Well, there's a few minor things, but those won't take long. There's a whole bunch but between the three of us…"

"You're letting 3P0 out of the cockpit?" she interrupted.

"No. I know you worked on ships when you were younger and…"

"I don't know everything Han. Are you sure you want me to touch your beloved ship?" she teased.

"I think you can handle a hydrospanner, can't you?"

"I suppose" she added, moving her last part. "But I haven't used one in years."

"Well then I'll just have to show you."

"Why do I get the feeling that this is just going to end with us getting nothing done?" she commented as he moved towards the door.

"I have no idea why you feel that way Sweetheart!" he laughed. "I'll meet you in the main hold in 10 minutes?"

"Sounds good. I'm just going to get this grease off" she agreed, moving towards him and the door.

"You mean you're hands won't be dirty anymore?" he asked sadly.

"That's right Flyboy" she finished, slipping past him and into the hallway.

* * *

><p>As Chewie walked by the Main Hold and looked in, he saw Han working with Leia on one of the boards from the circuitry bay. They were sitting on the floor next to each other and Han was showing her how, from what he could see, to repair the circuits for the laser cannons so they would be re-connected to the switch in the cockpit.<p>

The wookiee laughed to himself and continued onward through the ship, heading towards the engineering bay to do what he could on the hyperdrive.

As he worked, he thought about how much the trip had changed both Han and Leia. If you had asked him three years ago about Han falling in love, especially with a Princess, he would have laughed and walked away, and that's almost what he did.

_Three years ago, almost to the date, a man named Obi-Wan Kenobi found him in a Cantina on the planet of Tatooine. Having known Jedi before, he could tell right away that's what he was. The cloak, the age, the lightsaber that he knew was there before he used it. This man was a Jedi, and that meant that he should trust him…no matter what._

_After convincing Han to shuttle the man, along with Luke and the droids to Alderaan, and they lifted off, Chewie sought out the Jedi. Although he was unable to use the force, the wookiee sensed that there was something the man wasn't telling him._

_Yes, he remembered the conversation well. He asked how the man knew to come to him. It wasn't exactly normal for a man to immediately approach someone like him. Wookiees weren't exactly known for kindness. But he did, before approaching anyone else._

_The Jedi just answered, "Because I knew. It had to be you."_

_When he asked how he knew, the answer of the force was given back to him. He had figured. When helping Yoda during the Clone Wars he had seen similar things. It's how Yoda knew that he would have to stay hidden for many years, and how he knew of the death that could have captured him._

_But there was more. The man looked at him and told him of a vision, a dream, he had not long before._

_He explained how his old master had come to him, a ghost of the force, to tell him to seek out a ship called the Millennium Falcon, the Captain Han Solo and his co-pilot Chewbacca the wookiee. Then the old jedi told of how he had seen the future, but as it was always in motion, it may not be true. He saw death, destruction, and a light._

_As the dream went on, the light evolved. Three figures appeared, two males, one female. She was dressed in white, her hair done in delicate braids, and tears flooded her brown eyes. She looked between the two men, one with blonde hair and blue eyes, the other taller, brown hair and hazel eyes._

_As the vision progressed he saw her step once toward the blue-eyed man, but then turned and ran into the open arms of the other, her body ridden with terror. He comforted her, held her, and then the dream ended._

_For a while the wookiee wondered what the Jedi could be getting at, but then he realized. The blue-eyed man was Luke, it had to be, and the hazel-eyed man had to be Han. The description matched him perfectly. And then there was the woman, who the wookiee figured to be the Princess, whom he had seen on the news a few time, always wearing white._

_Later, before they left hyperspace, the wookiee stopped the Jedi again, before he could return to the main hold, and asked about the vision, and what he felt it meant._

_The man responded, telling him that he felt it meant that maybe that was the reason he had to find them to take them, that's why it had to be them. Chewie asked about the three figures, and found that the Jedi obviously thought the same thing as he did, the woman was the Princess, and the men were Han and Luke._

_But when he asked what he should do, what this had to do with him, Obi-Wan explained again how the force is always in motion, but that he should try to keep them together. He knew something terrible had happened that day, the destruction of Alderaan, and he knew the Princess would need a protector, someone who understood, who would be there to comfort her. And he finished by replying, "Sometimes comfort comes from the most unlikely places Chewbacca."_

_And with that he moved into the main hold, leaving the wookiee to return to the cockpit._

Chewie sighed, setting down the tool he was using. Since the conversation with the Jedi, even though it was three years ago, he had tried to keep them together. When Han wanted to leave, he convinced him otherwise…other than when they returned to Yavin and helped destroy the Death Star. Han had made that decision himself, and Chewie knew that his friend realized that maybe there was something to stay for this time.

And after that they grew closer, and to a point, the Jedi's vision had come true. Han would often leave in the middle of the evening. He'd just set down his tools and walk away, leaving Chewie to watch him go.

Once, he followed him. Han made his way through several halls before finally settling on the high councils. He made his way to the Princess's door, knocked, and when there was no response, continued on. Eventually he did find the Princess. She was curled up in a corner of the hanger, not far from where Han had been earlier.

Chewie watched as he sat down next to her, and slowly moved the bottle of alcohol away before pulling her into an embrace, his arms tight around her as she melted into his offer. He could see, even from his distance, that she was crying. Han whispered, his lips moving slowly, and he figured it was similar to the words he used to soothe the Princess not long ago when she attempted suicide again.

And when they had been on Hoth and they were instructed to leave, to get out as the Empire attacked the base, Han refused to leave. He kept making excuses to stay just a little longer. This had to be repaired, or something else. And then he disappeared, and Chewie had no doubts about where he had gone. He got the Falcon started and acted as if nothing had happened when they came running back, the droid in tow. He had risked his life for her…again.

And now Chewie could see, and was happy to see, that they finally admitted it, at least to themselves. He knew Han was set on leaving this time, to pay off the bounty on his head and hopefully survive…for her, but there was always the voice in the back of his head. The voice and wisdom of a Jedi.

"Sometimes comfort comes from the most unlikely of places…"

* * *

><p>As Leia opened her eyes, she found that Han wasn't laying beside her, and when she glanced to the fresher, the light wasn't on. She looked at the chrono on the table beside her, 0230.<p>

He had been there earlier when she had woken, once again, from a nightmare, and had coaxed her back to sleep, but now he was nowhere to be seen.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she turned stood and stretched before walking to the door. She pressed the pad and it swished open, revealing the hall, with full lights.

This was concerning, as generally the lights were still dimmed at this time of the night, but she continued anyway, her feet taking her immediately to the cockpit.

The door slid open. 3P0 was sitting in his usual location, while Han and Chewie were in their seats.

"So you're finally up" Han said, an agitated edge to his voice.

"Yeah, what's going on?" she asked as she sat in her seat.

**[You might want to strap in Princess]** commented Chewie as he flipped some switches above him.

"Alright, but I still would like to know what's going on."

"Goldenrod here was actually useful for once. We've got a couple of Star Destroyers up ahead, but we're far enough away yet that they haven't noticed us."

"Amazing that we've come this far only to be caught" Leia said, now fully understanding the predicament they were in. "Why didn't you come wake me?"

Han turned his head to look at her, "I figured you could use some more sleep and we weren't in any real danger yet."

"Oh" she responded quietly. "Thank you, I suppose." She was surprised at her reaction. Normally she would have yelled at him, saying 'You still should have woken me!' or something, but her reaction had been quieter, more understanding.

"Mistress Leia?" came the electronic voice beside her, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yes 3P0?"

"Do you think we will be alright? I fear that the last time we came in any close contact with a Star Destroyer we almost didn't make it away in one piece."

"I'm sure we'll be fine 3P0. Han knows what he's doing." And again, her response surprised her, she normally never stood for Han, especially in tight situations like this.

Chewie looked at his friend in the pilot's seat as she finished her sentence to see a small smile cross his face. Then Han noticed the wookiee's stare and turned back to his work.

"Well, any idea's Pal?" Han asked, sitting back in his chair.

**[We could always try to go around]** he suggested.

"Yeah, but that might add another couple days to the trip, and we don't have the supplies for much longer."

"I thought we were ok on supplies?" Leia asked quickly.

"Yeah, if you're talking supplies as in caf" he laughed. "We have enough water and air for a while yet, but the fuel is running low. Ships like this aren't designed to last for long periods of time at sublight speed. Luckily thanks to my modifications we can last longer than normal, but still."

"I see" she laughed quietly.

"What's so funny Princess?" he asked her.

"Just that you always are bragging about your ship, and generally a large portion of that bragging happens when we're in danger of being killed."

"Well it's not like there's much else to brag about at that moment, other than maybe my gorgeous looks."

**[Cub, focus. This is no time to be fooling around. What are we going to do?]**

Han pointed towards the looming ships in the distance, "It's hard to say what they're doing. They're not really doing anything."

"Don't you find it a bit odd that they just happen to be in our path?" Leia asked.

"Yes, Captain Solo. It is quite possible that someone has been following us. If they transmitted our trajectory the Empire would easily be able to intercept us before we reach the planet Bespin" added 3P0.

"Listen, I've met up with these guys how many times, and I've always gotten away. This time will be no different."


	38. Day 38: Regrets

Day 38: Regrets

"Han, we've barely escaped the other times. Or have you forgotten?" Leia answered quickly to his remark.

"If I may say so sir, Mistress Leia is quite correct. The previous two encounters we've had with Imperial Star Destroyers haven't exactly been pleasant" added 3P0.

"Well I'm glad you're here to remind us of these things Goldenrod" Han said, looking back out to the ships looming in the distance.

**[Like I said, we could go around.]**

"What if we just waited here for a while. We're far enough away that they won't spot us, and they're not coming towards us. Maybe they'll break up" he suggested.

"Han, the Empire is scattered all over the galaxy trying to find us, you don't think that they won't patrol…."

"Listen Sweetheart" he said, raising a hand in her direction, "Lando's got no love for the Empire, and they certainly aren't going to seek him out for any reason, even now."

"But sir, what if…"

"Shut up Goldenrod. I already told you…they're not here to block us."

**[Cub, you know very well that they could…]**

Han gave his co-pilot a stare that cut him off. "Look, we'll just wait a bit longer and see what happens, ok?"

"Han, look" Leia said, pointing out the cockpit window and towards the two Star Destroyers ahead of them. "They're moving."

"See, what'd I tell you? No problem."

**[We should still be cautious Cub. There might be more.]**

"I know Pal."

Soon one of the ships blasted into hyperspace, and after a few minutes, the other followed, but in the opposite direction, leaving the view of the looming planet clear.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/24/3902**_

_**You know, I'm starting to agree with Leia. I've got a bad feeling about this.**_

_**As much as I hate to admit it, Goldenrod is right. It can't just be chance that there are star destroyers in between us and Bespin…especially so close. Although I didn't say it, I'm sure everyone (alright…probably not Goldenrod) knew that they were close enough for a landing party. If someone from the Empire wanted to stop at Bespin, that's where the destroyers would have been hanging around.**_

_**Luckily Vader's ship wasn't there, otherwise I'd say let's just start trying to figure out a backup plan, not that we really could have one anyway. Either way, it means that Vader's probably somewhere on the other side of the galaxy at the moment, and we should be safe.**_

_**Still though, I had better make sure that Chewie keeps his eyes open for anything suspicious. I don't want any trouble at Bespin. We've had enough already, and although I don't really trust Lando, what other option have we got? It's either Bespin or we all die. Well, we wouldn't die probably, but we'd be stranded in space for quite some time, and it'd be too risky to call the Rebellion for help. We'd probably end up tracking in the entire Empire doing that.**_

_**Not that Leia hasn't tried. I've stopped her a few times, just wanteding to comm. the rebellion and at least send them a message saying we were ok, even a coded one. But any transmission could be dangerous, and I'm not bringing Leia into any more danger than I have to. It's bad enough that I'm leaving.**_

_**But then there was that kiss yesterday in the back hold, I mean, what was that all about? I mean, we've had some great moments as far as kissing goes, but that one was just…different. It's probably just my imagination though, and either way…nothing can happen, so what does it matter.**_

_**Although on the other hand, I fully intend on spending these last couple days with Leia as much as possible, and hopefully by the time I get her safely back to the Alliance she'll understand that I do want to come back…and if I've beaten the odds this many times, why not beat them again?**_

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_24th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_If I had a bad feeling about going to Bespin before, I certainly have a really bad feeling now._

_According to Han, Lando's got no love for the Empire, and he hasn't had any contact with them in as long as he can remember. His mining colony keeps pretty much under wraps, and has supported those against the Empire before, including the Rebellion itself. But it seems awfully strange to me that two star destroyers just happen to appear in between us and Bespin…and I'm sure Han was lying when he said we were too far away to be noticed._

_What if the Empire has known this entire time where we were headed? It would be quite easy to have someone stay behind to watch if we were still there after the others jumped to hyperspace. That person could have then tracked our coordinates and sent them back to the Empire, letting them know where we were going ahead of time._

_Plus, Vader's ship wasn't there, and as much as I hate him, Vader would be smart enough to know to leave his ship behind and take just a regular Star Destroyer. I feel like between them being there, randomly, not noticing us, and Vader's ship not being present, it would be very possible that he's now on the planet, hiding…or plotting…until we arrive._

_And no matter how much dislike this Lando has for the Empire, it's not easy to refuse Vader. I should know. Granted, I was tortured on the Death Star and still managed to survive without telling them anything except for the former Rebel base, but they did track me back to the current one, even after Han insisted that we weren't being followed…just goes to show that Han could be wrong again._

_Granted, I fully trust Han, and agree that this is the only option we have, but I still don't think it's a good idea…and fully expect us to lay low and get out of there as fast as possible. Then again, I don't have a lot of time left with Han, and the longer we stay on Bespin, the longer I still have him, and there's a part of me that hopes he'll change his mind._

* * *

><p>"So we've just got the hyperdrive to fix, right?"<p>

**[Well there are other repairs to be made, but that is the only one we would need to safely make the trip back to the Rebellion.]**

"Good. At least we can get out of there quickly if need be" Han replied, sitting down at the holo chess table in the main hold, across the room from his co-pilot.

**[So what's up with you and the Princess?]** Chewie asked after a moment.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, why?"

**[Well she just seemed to be acting differently this morning.]**

"We were in a bit of a bind, in case you hadn't noticed Pal" he pointed out.

**[Of course we were, and normally by that point she's ready to rip your head off. She didn't do that this morning.]**

"Then what did she do?"

**[She complimented you.]**

"Yeah, what's so different about that?"

**[When was the last time she complimented you in a situation like that?]**

Han opened his mouth as if to answer, but shut it, thinking. He had no answer.

**[I told you. She was acting differently.]**

"Alright, fine, you're right…that's the first time she acted like that. But why is that such a big deal?"

**[I just want to make sure you want to leave.]**

"Chewie, we've been over this a million times" he said, standing up and walking towards his friend. "We have to leave, and that's that."

**[Cub, I know you and I know the Princess. She won't say anything, but you'll make up continuous excuses to stay just a little bit longer.]**

"And when exactly have I done that?" he asked, turning away.

**[Yavin, for one.]**

"I couldn't just leave the kid hanging! They all would have died without me!"

**[I was talking about after that]** the wookiee pointed out.

"Oh" Han responded simply, sitting back down. "Well, I figured that we should just stick around for a while. We didn't need to be anywhere in particular, so why not help out a bit? It never hurts to have half the galaxy on your side."

**[I wouldn't call it half the galaxy, but alright. What about Hoth?]**

"Chewie, that's a jump of three years there…"

**[Shouldn't matter. You just don't want to admit that you came up with excuses.]**

"Fine fine, I did make excuses. But Leia needed me. Who was going to comfort her otherwise? Wedge?"

The wookiee got wore an amused look, **[I hardly believe that, but what will happen when we reach the base? The Princess is obviously having a hard time with her nightmares, and it will be all too easy for you to stay to comfort her again.]**

"Chewie, I know what you're trying to get at, but we have to leave. And I fully plan on coming back."

**[Jabba isn't exactly happy with you.]**

"Look Pal" Han said, pointing a finger in the wookiee's direction, "I've got more than enough credits to pay him off plus a little extra compared to what I originally told him, so we should be fine."

**[And what about the Bounty Hunters that must be scattered all over Tatooine waiting for you to return?]**

"We're going straight to Jabba, giving him the money and heading straight back out."

**[You know that's not how he works.]**

"Well it's how it's gonna have to work Pal, cause I'm not leaving Leia. I can't leave her."

**[But yet you are.]**

"I know" he sighed, walking out of the room and towards his cabin.

* * *

><p>Later that evening Han walked through the doorway and into his cabin, finding Leia on the other side of the room.<p>

"Goldenrod's all set for the night. We'll be getting in to Bespin around 1600 hours their time in two days."

"And what time is that for us?" she asked, turning to face him as he approached.

"About 1200 hours" he continued, wrapping his arms lightly around her and pulling her small form into an embrace. Leia fell easily into him, her head resting on his chest and her own arms wrapped around his waist.

"That doesn't sound too bad. So we've got like a day and a half left? That's it?"

"Pretty much Sweetheart" he responded, lightly kissing the top of her head.

Leia laughed and pulled away to look up at him. "You know Flyboy, I can't believe we're that close. I mean, I've known for days now, but hearing that we only have a day and a half left is just…strange."

"How's it strange?" he asked, running his hand up and down her back once.

"Well remember when we first got started on our way to Bespin?"

"Yeah, you yelled at me, insulted me and my ship and then went storming off."

She laughed again, "I really insulted you?"

"Something about being dead being better than here" he continued, pushing a stray bit of hair back behind her ear.

"Seriously?" she asked, and he could see the regret and fear in her eyes.

"At least I'm pretty sure. You could ask Chewie, he was there too" he laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh Gods, you know I didn't mean…" she started, but was interrupted when his lips hit hears in a searing kiss. Han pulled away and she tried to apologize again, "Han, I'm…"

"I know Leia. You were upset, and it's fine. I'm just glad you're safe."

Leia pulled out of him embrace and went to sit on the bunk nearby. She sighed, "Han, have you ever felt like you don't deserve everything that you have?"

"There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think that" he responded, sitting next to her.

She looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"I have you" he laughed. "I'm a smuggler, a scoundrel and a pirate. I've spent my entire life doing nothing but illegal things or helping the Empire that we're trying to fight, and here I am, sitting with a Princess."

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit" she added. "You may be all of those things, and you can't change your past, but you forgot one thing."

"And what's that Sweetheart?" he asked as they grew closer together.

"You're a nice man" she whispered before kissing him again. At first it was light, but it soon grew more intense. She moved so she was sitting in his lap, and his arms fell in place on her hips, his fingers moving in small circles.

But all too soon she pulled away, biting her lower lip and moving herself off of him.

"Leia…" he started as she moved away.

"Don't Han, I understand. We have an agreement" she added, grabbing some clothes and turning towards the fresher. "I'm going to take a shower." And with that the door closed behind her, leaving Han alone in the cabin.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/24/3902**_

_**What in the galaxy was that?**_

_**Now I'm more confused than ever. Sure, when Leia kissed me yesterday I could tell something was off, but this was too different to ignore. Not only was the kiss different, more insistent, the look of regret that crossed her face when she pulled away says something.**_

_**I've never seen Leia like that, and as I've said before, I've seen her every way possible. Drunk, asleep, upset, happy, and certainly angry, but I've never really seen a look of regret like that. Leia's had plenty of chances to wear a look like that, but she never has, and it makes me wonder what it is she's regretting.**_

_**I mean, is she regretting getting involved with me, or is it this trip, or the rebellion? Maybe it's the nightmares, and her memories of Alderaan. But then again, each night she screams for me, not the planet she lost. So then it could be her regret to whatever she does to me in her nightmares.**_

_**Who am I kidding? None of this makes sense. And talking about it like this isn't going to do any good, since I'm the only one. I don't know, I just hoping I'm doing the right thing, because Gods I want her more than anything, and I'm starting to get the idea she wants that same thing, and I don't think I could deny her to have something like that once. I don't want to deny having that with her once, to show her that I do love her, and seal my promise to come back.**_

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_24th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I, I don't know anymore._

_What is it that I'm supposed to do? What is it I'm supposed to believe? And what is it I'm supposed to be feeling?_

_On one hand there's the fact that Han is leaving, and no matter how many times I tell myself that he will be actually gone this time, the less I think I actually believe it. Han is going to completely ignore everything that we've gone through, everything we've felt, and go off to get rid of the bounty, and we both know he won't be coming back. So what does it matter? Why doesn't he stay if he's going to die either way. At least staying with me he would have a chance._

_But I'm a Princess…and one of a galactic war at that. There's nothing safe about me. I'm more dangerous than even the deadliest bounty hunter. Gods, I'm probably more dangerous than Jabba the Hutt himself, and I know that no matter what Han does, he's going to die. It's what I've sentenced him to, just like everyone else I love. My planet was destroyed because of me, my family murdered because of my carelessness, Luke is dead because he got involved with my Rebellion, and now Han will die because he got too involved with me. So It's probably better that he goes. He'll end up better off with Jabba anyway._

_Yet at the same time, I want him to stay not for the reasoning that he would be better with me, because as we already discussed, he's certainly not safer here with me, but because the only place in the galaxy that I feel safe is within his arms. While I'm very thankful for Luke and Chewie and the droids, I wouldn't be able to live without Han. He's changed me, made me feel things I never thought possible, and made me think about a future I could never have._

_And now it scares me more than anything to think that I let it all slip through my fingers. I can never have that feeling, and I can't believe how much I want something I've never felt before. I can't have a future, no happy ending. The war will go on, Han will leave and we will all die. It's as simple as that. There's nothing we can do, but I will die with the regret. The regret that I never let Han in, never let him grow close and bring me somewhere I've never been. I'll regret that I'll never know how much he truly loves me._


	39. Day 39: In the Stars

Day 39: In the Stars

Leia had been restless all night, and eventually she just got up. She turned to look back down at the man sleeping soundly on the bunk and wondered how he was able to sleep through all of her moving around.

She quietly moved out of the cabin and headed through the darkened halls toward the cockpit. It wasn't until she opened the door that she remembered that the golden droid was keeping watch.

"Mistress Leia! Is there something you needed?"

"No 3P0" she answered calmly, sitting down in the captain's seat.

"Then may I inquire why you are here at such an absurd hour?"

"I just couldn't sleep 3P0." She turned to look at him, "Would you mind getting me some tea?"

"Of course I wouldn't mind Mistress Leia. It is in my programming to be of your service!" he said, standing and moving towards the door.

"Thanks 3P0" she said simply as she watched him go. Once the door was safely shut behind him she looked back out at the planet growing closer with every moment.

Her night had been restless due to several reasons. Not only had she woken from nightmares worse than anything she'd ever experienced, but she had hardly fallen asleep in the first place.

Looking out at the planet of Bespin, the reddish clouds that reflected the light of the nearby sun seemed to cloud her mind. This was the place that would bring in the realization that Han was leaving. The trip was over. And once they left Bespin, he would be gone for good.

So where did that leave her? It's the thing that had kept her awake, the realization that once he left, she would be nothing.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door opened. Expecting to see 3P0, she didn't even turn, but when Han quietly shut the door behind him and moved into the seat next to her she only asked one question, "How do you always find me?"

"We're on a pretty small ship Sweetheart, it's not like you have a lot of places to hide."

"But what about all the times when we weren't on this ship? How did you find me then?"

"Sometimes I followed you, at the beginning. Eventually I knew your spots, and checked those. I just always seemed to have this feeling when you were upset."

"I wasn't always in the same spot" she pointed out.

"I know, but it didn't stop me from finding you."

Leia sighed, "I'm glad you were always the one to find me."

Han was silent, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. "I'm glad I was the one to find you too."

She laughed lightly, "Can you imagine if Luke had found me?"

Han, instantly remembering the time Luke had confronted him, laughed in response. "Yeah, I don't know what he would have done."

"Like when I was drunk. I don't think he would have known what to do."

"Or what about that one time, where you were so out of it you just started screaming?"

"I remember you telling me about that. Luke probably would have gone to find someone from High Command or something." Then a look crossed her face, "Why did you never go to tell them?"

"It wasn't their problem. And I figured you wouldn't have wanted them to know anyway."

"You're right. Rieekan was the only one who knew. No one else. I never told anyone else."

"Well I didn't tell anyone if that's what you're saying, and Rieekan probably didn't either."

"I know Rieekan didn't, and I got the impression that you never would either."

"Yeah. You know" he started, "Luke would probably freak out and come find me anyway."

Leia laughed, "He probably would. He did that one time where I was injured too, remember?"

"You mean that time you got bitten by that little furry thing?"

She laughed again, "Yeah, that time. Luke couldn't figure out what to do, so he ran and got you and I was just laughing the whole time."

He added to the laugher, "As much as Luke was concerned, I don't think I've ever seen you laugh so hard."

"I don't know, every time I run around the Falcon we both find it pretty amusing."

"That's true."

"And what about right now?"

For the first time since they had started the laughing, Han looked into her eyes. They were different. The clouds he so often found there were gone, and were replaced with a sparkle, a glint of happiness that Han only saw once in a visit to Tatooine, which wasn't very often these days.

"Right now" he finally responded, "You look pretty happy to me, and I'm glad I get to see you this happy."

"What do you mean?" she asked, bringing her legs up to her chest, her chin sitting on her knees.

"Just that you're always playing the role of Rebel Leader, but that when you're around me or Luke, or in moments like this, I get to see a glimpse of the real you."

Leia smiled, "You're different too Han."

"Oh really?" he asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Of course. You're supposed to be this heartless space pilot, and that's what I truly believed you were at the beginning, but then I saw you practice with the pilots, take Luke under your wing and have a few good times with your co-pilot and my impression of you changed."

"What about when I'm with you? What do you see then?"

"I see a scoundrel, but he has some nice qualities."

"Such as…?" he asked, dragging out his words.

"Well" she started, setting her legs back down and tilting her head, looking away in thought, "Your eyes are the most wonderful color of hazel, I think. Sometimes they are green and sometimes gold. I can never tell for sure."

Han laughed, "What else?"

"You take care of me. Always coming back, always watching out for what's best." She fumbled with the bracelet on her wrist, "And you feed me good food when you get back from runs, and you bring me presents."

"I'm sure you get lots of other presents Princess" he interrupted.

"Not really" she laughed. "I mean, I get a birthday present from Luke and Rieekan each year, and once Wedge gave me something he found that was from Alderaan. Plus Chewie gave me a holo of us all once, but that's it, other than you of course."

"Oh, well don't worry about it. I know how important Alderaan is to you, so whenever I see something…"

"Thank you" she interrupted.

He looked at her, "You're welcome Sweetheart." He paused, "So what else is it you like about me?"

"Let's see" she continued, "I love how you act around the other pilots. They all look up to you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I guess someone may have mentioned it. And I love training with them, it's amusing."

"Amusing?" she answered.

"Yeah, amusing. I mean, they're pretty crazy."

"I believe it" she laughed. "They are rogue squadron, after all." The comment ended, and Han looked at her to continue. "I like how you kiss me" she said, blushing and turning away.

"Is that so?" he asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her up out of the seat and over to his lap.

"It might be."

"So do you like this?" he asked, pulling her cross ways on her and kissing her, long and sensual.

She pulled away, "Yes" she whispered.

He moved his lips down her chin and neck, "And this?"

"Mhmm" she responded even quieter.

And then he pulled away, "Anything else?"

She looked at him, "I might like how your pants fit."

Han ran a hand up her back, "Really?" he asked, his voice dropping lower.

She laughed, "Yeah."

"All of that in a scoundrel?" he continued, his mouth moving to the spot behind her ear.

"Yes" she breathed.

He pulled away again, this time for good, knowing that he had to stop. "Well I'm glad you think that way, cause it's a lot more credit that I would have given myself."

"I've honestly never met someone like you Han."

"You mean someone so handsome and charming?" he asked, giving her a smile.

"No" she playfully punched him in the shoulder. "I've never met someone who actually cares about me the way you do. I never thought it was possible."

"What about your father?"

"He loved me more than anything, but that's a different kind of caring. You're different."

"Different in a good way?"

"Of course."

"Good, because you're different in a good way too" he responded before kissing her lightly.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_25th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_Tomorrow's the day._

_38 Days ago, I would have never thought that how I'm living now was even an option, and if it was an option, I wouldn't have thought it to be normal._

_I wake up each morning, screaming for Han, and he's there, holding me tightly in his arms. He comforts me to sleep. Now, first off, I wouldn't have believed that I was in the same bed as Han Solo, that's for sure, or even in the same room. I wake up later, still in his arms, and watch him sleep. When he wakes we talk for a few precious moments before we head to work, I take a shower and he gets us caf generally._

_After that I spend the day working, or relaxing, and at some point Han always ends up finding me and kissing me, for quite some time generally. My former self would have been appalled, even if it is what I really wanted all along, at least since that kiss back in the Asteroid. We spend the final moments of the day with Chewie generally, we eat dinner, play a game or watch a holo or just talk, and then we go back to the cabin, where I proceed by changing into my sleep clothes, which is really just one of Han's shirts._

_That's another thing. I can't even think about what people would have thought about seeing me in Han's shirt…especially every night. I would have thought you were out of your mind…or at least from another galaxy. And then we fall asleep in each other's arms, my head against his chest, and we whisper 'goodnight.'_

_It just seems ridiculous that all of that is going to end, that today is the last day. I won't ever change into Han's shirt again after tonight. I won't fall asleep in our warm cocoon. I won't wake up to find Chewie brightly greeting me, and I won't spend my afternoon's kissing Han. All of that will be gone in just a few hours._

_So I guess that means that I'm just going to have to enjoy these last moments I have with Han and try to sear them into my memory for all eternity._

* * *

><p>"Han, what are you doing?" Leia asked as he led her by the hand through the ship. She had her eyes closed, at Han's insistence, and continued to wonder what was going on.<p>

"You'll see, just keep your eyes closed, ok?"

"They've been closed the entire time Flyboy" she laughed, and he stopped.

"Alright, open them" he responded finally.

She opened her eyes to find the main hold completely transformed, similarly to the beginning of the trip when he had taught her about core-pop. The table was moved and a cloth was draped over it. A set of candles was on top of the table, and it was already set for dinner, three places, one for each of them. The lights were dimmed, and the chair was moved to make more room in the center.

"So, what do you think Sweetheart?" he asked casually, holding out a hand towards the room.

"You did all of this?" she looked at him with a surprised expression.

"I did, for our last night here on the Falcon. Do you like it?"

"Of course I like it Han, this place looks totally different" she said, walking out into the room. "Not that it looked bad before…it's just…" she added, turning to look at him.

He followed her and wrapped his arms around her, resting them on her back, "I know what you mean, and I'm glad you like it" he said, leaning down to kiss her.

She rose onto her toes and met him in a light kiss, and then pulled back, "So what's for dinner?"

"I don't know, I was wondering if you wanted to help make it."

"Han, you know that's not a good idea!" she protested.

"I think it's a fine idea. You helped that one other time and everything turned out alright. What's going to be so different this time?"

"I don't know…" Leia added.

"I'll be there," he continued, "So everything will be fine."

Leia laughed, "Alright, I suppose, but only if you tell me what we're having."

Han laughed and took her hand, leading her toward the galley, "I was thinking Alderaanian Stew with Corellian Flatbread and some Wasaka berry pudding."

"Something from each of our homeworlds, very good idea Han."

"Why thank you" he responded with a smile.

"Now don't go getting cocky" she laughed.

"Nah, me? Cocky? What are you talking about. I think you're referring to the Kid."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's you" she said, reaching up to kiss him again before moving the rest of the way into the galley.

"Han, are you sure it's supposed to do that?" Leia asked, standing a few feet away from the pot containing the mixture that was Alderaanian Stew.

He moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tight against his body, "It's fine Sweetheart. Don't worry." He let his lips travel to the exposed skin of her neck.

"Don't you think we should focus on cooking?" she asked with a whisper, trying to keep her head as he worked his way over her skin.

"The bread is cooling and the pudding's in the conservator, so all that's left is the stew, and we're standing right here, aren't we?"

"I suppose, but…" He moved to the spot behind her ear, slowly turning her in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Leia moved his head so she could kiss him square on the lips. It was forceful and he moved her up against the counter, but soon they were interrupted by the ringing of a timer set to let them know when the stew was done.

"Sith" Han exclaimed angrily as he moved to get the stew while Leia just laughed.

"Is it done?" she asked. "Should I go find Chewie?"

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea" he responded, pulling the stew off the heat.

It didn't take her long to find Chewie, as he was just down the hall, and when she got there he just asked if dinner was ready.

"Yeah, it's done. Han made something from each of our homeworlds."

**[What did he make from mine?]** the wookiee asked cautiously.

"Wasaka berry pudding."

**[Good, I was afraid he was going to serve raw nerf meet or something]** he responded, causing Leia to laugh.

When they got back to the main hold, Han already had the food on the table, and was waiting for them to come back in. There was a bottle sitting on the table, and Leia recognized it immediately as Alderaanian Wine.

"Where did you get that?" she asked quickly, sitting down next to him at the table.

"I might have had it stored away where you wouldn't find it?"

"Those wines are very expensive, it must have cost you a fortune!" Leia continued, picking up the bottle and looking over the label.

"Yeah, but I don't mind" he said, plating up food for the three of them.

"Really Han, I know what the prices are. I've bought a few myself. It's because they're so rare now. You didn't need to do this for me…"

"Listen" he said, grabbing her hand and looking her in the eye, "I didn't buy it because I felt I needed to, but because I wanted to."

"Well really, thank you Han" she said, lightly kissing him before turning to the food in front of her.

**[What time are we getting to Bespin?]** Chewie asked after swallowing a mouthful of food.

"1600 Hours their time" Han answered, biting off a piece of flatbread.

**[1200 our time then?]**

"Yep."

"Is there anything we have to get done between now and then?" Leia asked.

"I don't think so" he responded. "Just sit around and relax."

"That sounds nice" Leia added, leaning closer to Han.

**[Well I hope you two have enough sense to get a room this time]** the wookiee added, causing Leia to laugh and Han to give a glare to his co-pilot.

"Yeah yeah, whatever Pal. Just remember, next time we go to Kashyyyk" Han continued, pointing towards the wookiee.

"Will you two stop bickering and eat" Leia interrupted.

Chewie shook his head and continued eating, while Han grumbled something before taking a long drink of the wine.

"This is really good Han, you should make it more often, maybe once we get back…" Leia stopped, realizing what she was about to say.

"Yeah Sweetheart?" he asked.

"I was just going to say that maybe once we got back to the Alliance you could make it, but you're not going to be there, so…"

"Hey, I could make it once more when we get back. I don't see any harm in staying a night" Han continued, receiving a glare from the wookiee across from him.

"Alright" Leia said carefully, drinking some wine and then going back to the stew.

"Maybe I could teach you how to make it, then you can have it whenever you want."

"Han, you know I don't have time to cook. Plus, I'd probably burn down the entire Rebel base" she laughed.

"Nah, I think you're better at cooking than you let on."

Leia had no response other than a shake of her head, and they finished their dinner in silence.

"Want to dance Princess?" Han asked, standing.

Leia gave him a look, "Dance?"

"Yeah, dance."

She took his hand and he pulled her up off the bench into his arms. Chewie had pressed a button on the console and music flooded the room. Han led her through a common Alderaanian dance, sweeping her across the floor, spinning her around and around. He knew the dance well, and Leia knew it too, following his every move, but always knowing what was coming next.

When the song ended, he spun her one last time before slowing down, his hands resting on her lower back. Leia's head came to sit against his chest and she wrapped her own arms around his waist, holding him close.

"I don't know how you do it, but you surprise me just about everyday with what you can do" she whispered.

"I amaze myself sometimes too Sweetheart" he laughed.

"That's not what I meant. I mean, I don't think I've ever met a man who's not from Alderaan that knows that dance."

"Oh, come on. I'm sure there was someone."

She pulled back to look up at him, but kept her arms around his waist, "No, I'm serious. My family was always entertaining, and of course" she laughed, "every young man wanted to dance with me. It was pretty boring. They always knew these dances from other planets, but never Alderaan. My dad was the only one who would ever be able to dance them with me" she finished, resting her head once again against his chest.

"Not even some of the Princes?" he asked.

"No, really. No one was able to. The dances were always too complicated. I have no idea how you learned."

"I just picked it up somewhere" he said, trying to make his answer sound more legitimate. What he didn't say was that he had spent hours with Rieekan, talking about Alderaan, asking questions, learning about customs. The member of High Command had helped Solo without question, lending him books, holos, including one that had been about learning the traditional Alderaanian dance they had just shared.

"You just picked it up?"

"Yeah, I learned once. Don't remember where though."

"Why in the galaxy would Han Solo need to learn how to dance?"

"Like I said, I don't really remember."

"Whatever you say Flyboy" she said before letting out a sigh, closing her eyes as she slowly moved with him to the music.

Han looked over to the table to find the wookiee gone, "Come on Sweetheart, I have something to show you."

"Another surprise?" she asked as he grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the cabin. "What are we going to the cabin for?"

"You'll see" Han continued. Once in the cabin he pressed a button on the pad and music filled that room as well.

"How did…I didn't know it could do that!"

"Yeah, I rigged it so it can play in the cockpit too. Sometimes it's nice to have music like that, but we don't exactly have a ton of disks so we don't use the system too much."

"It's still impressive. The Tantive IV used to do that too, where music would play right into my cabin. I never really had a chance to use it when I got older, but I remember my dad would play music through the ship all the time after my mother died."

"Well I'm glad you like it, but there's one more thing."

She eyed him. "More?" Leia asked sarcastically.

"Yes, Your Worship, more" he said as he moved to his cabinet and pulled out the star box. He set it on the desk and opened it, allowing stars to fill the room around them.

Han held open his arms, "Come on."

"What?"

"Come here" he said, motioning for her to move over to him. She complied, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking up at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

They danced slowly to the music streaming from the main hold, the stars surrounding them as they moved. "This is honestly the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me" Leia said finally, tears filling her eyes. He moved a hand to rest on her face, a thumb running across her cheek. "The bracelet" she whispered.

"What about it?" he asked, confused.

"You're nothing short of my everything."

"I mean it."

"I know you do" she whispered, reaching up to kiss him slowly. It wasn't passionate or needy, not filled with want or insistent, but filled with love, with the promise they made to each other. The understanding that this was all they could ever be. Nothing more, nothing less, because he was leaving, and she would be left behind. Their worlds separating, leaving them as alone as they began, back to the lives they led.

Back to being the Princess and the Scoundrel.


	40. Day 40: Arrival

Day 40: Arrival

Leia woke amazed.

She turned to look at the chrono on the table, finding it to be a normal time, 0728. There had been no nightmares. She had slept soundly with Han's arms around her, just as they had been every night for the past few weeks, and she wondered why she had waited so long to accept him into her life.

The night before had been amazing, and he had once again amazed her. Looking over her shoulder at the man next to her, she saw something different from what everyone else saw, from what she used to see. Han wasn't a mercenary, he wasn't evil, and he wasn't the careless man many made him out to be. No, the man next to her was the most caring, generous, amazing man she had ever met, and he did everything for her.

She was his everything, and he was hers.

As she continued to look at him, his eyes slowly opened, and he smiled. "Good morning Sweetheart" he said, the same way he had every morning.

"Good morning Flyboy" she answered, returning his smile and kissing him lightly. She pulled away, laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I just don't want to get out of bed. If I could spend the rest of my life here, I would."

"Well I know you'd never get bored" he responded, kissing her again.

"I'm sure I wouldn't" she laughed, "but I'm serious."

"I wouldn't leave either, although I think we would need to get up sometime."

"Does it have to be now?"

"I hope not" he said, checking the chrono for himself. "I think we can afford a while longer yet. We're not due to get to Bespin for a while."

"That's what I was hoping you would say."

"Glad I can read your mind" he kidded. "Oh wait, that's Luke."

Leia laughed before resting her head once again on his chest and sighing. "I almost wish that we didn't have to go to Bespin, or back to the Alliance. I wish we could just stay on this ship forever."

"I think the ship would be a bit stuffy after a while, but some far away beautiful planet just for us sounds nice."

"Somewhere the Empire won't find us" she whispered.

"Or bounty hunters or Hutts" he added.

"Yeah. Too bad that will never happen."

Han stroked her hair, "I wish I could make it happen."

"I know, me too."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Log of the Millennium Falcon<strong>_

_**5/26/3902**_

_**Today we get to Bespin, and I completely agree with Leia. If I had been able to just lay with her in that bed for the rest of my life, I would die a very happy man. Too bad that could never become reality. In a few days I'll be leaving her, and we will go our separate ways, back to the lives we have to live.**_

_**Not that I want to live that life. Maybe that's what I used to want, but it certainly isn't now. I want to give Leia the life she deserves, and I have no idea when I started wanting that.**_

_**It's like my mission in life now is to make sure she's happy, that she's safe and that she's cared for. I will do anything…ANYTHING…to give her those things, and the worst part is that I know that the best thing for her doesn't involve me. I can't be in the picture for her to be safe. I may be able to make her happy and have her feel like someone loves her, but she'll never be safe with me. I'm too much of a danger, a risk, one that would end up killing her.**_

_**That's why I have to pay off Jabba, because if I go and do this now, and then come back, I'll be able to give her all of those things. I've already decided that if I do come back, I'll commit to the Rebellion, to make sure she knows I'm going to stay, that I won't leave her. The Rebellion is her life, and if I'm going to be a part of her life, I need to be a part of the Rebellion. I don't know what I'll do, maybe I'll just sign on as a pilot, but I will commit to her cause, because it's the only way I'll be able to assure her safety.**_

_**If I don't come back, she'll go off on dangerous missions, ones that I would normally accompany her on, and she'll end up getting killed. She'll die for her cause because I wasn't there to protect her. So it doesn't really matter. If I stay, she'll be in danger because of me. But if I leave, I'll die, I know that already, and she'll put herself in danger. There's no avoiding it. And I almost wish she had never gotten involved with me in the first place. She'd be safer.**_

_**But then again, I wouldn't trade these moments I've had with her for anything.**_

* * *

><p>Leia came out of the fresher looking exactly like the Princess who had entered the ship 40 days previous. Her hair was braided into the crown she generally had it in back on Hoth, and she had slipped back into her snowsuit, her boots laced up and her jacket zipped. It was if the last 40 days had never happened.<p>

"What do you want me to do with this?" she asked, holding out the shirt she had used to sleep in. "I know you already cleaned the rest of the clothes I used, so I just thought I'd…"

"Keep it" Han said simply.

"What?" she asked, taking a step closer to him.

"You heard me. Keep it. I know it's probably more comfortable to sleep in than anything the Alliance gives you" he laughed.

"Oh, I suppose" she responded, blushing. "Thanks."

"No problem Sweetheart" he said, closing the gap between them and leaning down for a kiss. She met him, her free hand moving up to the back of his head and his arms circled her waist, pulling her flush against him. The shirt was dropped from her hand as she moved her arm to circle around his neck.

As much as they would have liked to stay there forever, they were soon interrupted by a wookiee letting them know breakfast was ready. Leia was quick to pull away, looking up at him, their eyes meeting before they both moved towards the door, the shirt forgotten on the floor behind them.

* * *

><p>Breakfast was quiet as they each ate their ration bars along with some leftover wasaka berry pudding from the night before and the caf Chewie had set out for them. Han tried to make light conversation, but it always ended in discussion about Bespin and the end of the trip. At this point, the thought of landing on a planet owned by a man who could be, easily, called one of Han's enemies, gave everyone a bad feeling.<p>

Once they had finished, Leia quietly asked "How long until we get to Bespin?"

"A few time-parts yet, why?" Han responded, grabbing Chewie's plate from the table and carrying the dishes to the galley.

"I just wanted to see if there is anything we could get done before we get there."

"Well, these dishes need to be cleaned, and we should be in the cockpit early, just in case. Otherwise there's still one circuit board that needs to be reconnected."

**[I thought you finished that Cub]** Chewie asked, looking to his friend.

"Yeah, we got, distracted…" he responded, rubbing a hand along his neck and avoiding eye contact with the wookiee.

"He's right. 3P0 just came into the room and started blabbering. It's hard to get any work done with him around you know."

Chewie still looked skeptical of the two, but gave another woof and left the room.

"You saved me there Sweetheart" Han said after he was sure his co-pilot was out of earshot.

"I know" she laughed.

"How will I ever make it up to you?"

"I have a few ideas."

"Well, I've got one too. How about when we get to Bespin I take you out for a nice dinner?"

Leia turned to look at him, shocked. "Do you really think that's a good idea Han, I mean…"

"Listen Sweetheart, it'll be perfectly fine. No one's going to pay any attention to a couple out for dinner, especially on a planet like Bespin. It's a tourist planet after all."

"I thought they mined?"

"They do, but Cloud City is certainly pretty, and I've heard they have some of the nicest accommodations in the galaxy."

"I'm not sure Han" she responded as he grew closer, only a few feet away from her now.

"It'll be great, nice food, beautiful scenery, and you've got me, the most handsome scoundrel in the galaxy" he added, flashing a crooked grin.

Leia laughed, "Alright, I suppose, but no funny business. I want to keep a low profile. I'm still not sure about this whole…" she continued, but was cut off as he kissed her again.

Han pulled away, "You know, I think I could spend the rest of my life just kissing you."

"What a great life we'll have, laying in bed and kissing all day."

"Sounds pretty nice to me Princess" he finished, kissing her again.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_26th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_It's finally here, and I'm pretty sure I have a worse feeling about going to Bespin than I ever did before._

_Something just doesn't feel right. Those Star Destroyers couldn't have just been there, and I feel like there's still something we might be overlooking. Some little clue that could lead us to the conclusion that we're really in danger. But as I've said before, I trust Han, unfortunately with my life, which probably is a bad idea, but if he thinks that going to this Lando person is an alright idea, then I'll have to be ok with that. Still, I'm going to continue to look out for any suspicious behavior from any person._

_I think what worries me more is this dinner. What does it really mean, and could this really be considered a date? I mean, our relationship on the Falcon is one thing, but actually out in public is different. Granted, there's no one from the Alliance there to see me, only people who wouldn't know us, so what could the harm really be? I know there's this part of me that can't wait to go to dinner with him, to have some of the first actual food not made on the Falcon in such a long time._

_And then there's my continued argument with myself about giving myself to him completely. I know I'll regret it if I don't, but I'm just not sure if I'm completely ready. No, I'm ready, I'm just afraid, and Han's been right all along, it will make the parting harder, but it's already going to kill me. He's going to go off and get killed and I'll never get to experience that with him, and of all the people in the galaxy, there's no one I want to experience that with more than Han._

_So what do I do? Just walk up to him and say, "Let's do this." or something? Pretend to be drunk, or get him drunk? No, I'll never be able to get him drunk, he's too careful about that around me. I just had another thought, what will our rooming be like on Bespin? I mean, will Han just request a room for Chewie and a room for us or will he get us each a room and not use the last one? Will we even get a room, or stay on the Falcon? There's just too many questions. And I have no idea how to answer any of them, and honestly, that's really hard for me._

_I'm so used to being completely in control of my feelings and worries and nightmares and everything, and since the beginning, I've lost control of all of them. I have no idea what I'm really feeling towards Han, other than the fact that I know I love him, but I don't know how to tell him. I don't know anything other than what Han's told me about this Lando character, and I have no idea where the Alliance is at the moment or what they're doing. The war could be over, the Rebellion defeated, and I would have no idea._

_Oh Gods, what am I going to do?_

* * *

><p>"No, I don't have a landing permit! I'm trying to reach Lando Calrissian" Han said strongly into the com. They had easily approached Bespin and entered the atmosphere with no problems, but they had quickly been spotted by a few members of the security team from Cloud City, who were ready to blast the Falcon and her crew to pieces.<p>

Moments after Han gave his response, they gave warning shots to the approaching ship, causing Leia to tightly grip the back of the pilot's seat where Han was sitting. "Woah woah, wait a minute! Let me explain!" he yelled as the cockpit was lit by the blasts from the other ships.

"You will not deviate from your present course" came the electronic voice over the system.

"Rather touchy aren't they?" asked 3P0 quickly.

"I thought you knew this person?" Leia asked, annoyed by their difficulties of landing in Cloud City.

**[Cub, what if Lando is still mad about the whole Ylesia fiasco?]** Chewie asked.

Han shook his head, blowing it off, "Well that was a long time ago. I'm sure he's forgotten about that."

He flipped a few switches and the Falcon continued its course, currently being escorted by two of the security ships. Trying to distract herself from the terrible feeling she had about the entire situation, Leia admired the beautiful clouds, lit by the setting sun, as they flew around, over and through them.

The electronic voice again came over the com, "Permission granted to land on platform 327."

"Thank You" responded Han, his voice aggravated as he continued to fly through the clouds. "Nothing to worry about. We go way back, Lando and me" he continued, obviously trying to convince the young woman stationed behind him.

"Who's worried?" she asked sarcastically.

As they continued to travel through the clouds the floating city appeared in the distance, and the Falcon moved easily through the space towards it. They were still escorted, but no other warning shots were fired, and soon they were traveling over the city, covered in towers of every shape and size.

Han started the landing cycle as they approached their given platform, and the other ships left them. Soon the Falcon was safely stationed, and Leia made a sign of relief. They had made it, now to just face what was ahead.

Chewie immediately got up and hurried to shut down the rest of the system, and the droid followed. Leia stood as well, and was about to leave when Han grabbed her hand.

"Be careful, ok?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers.

"I will, but only if you promise to be careful too."

"Don't worry about me Sweetheart" he finished, pulling her into one last kiss before moving out of the cockpit.

She followed as Han met up with Chewie, who was standing next to the ramp. "I'm coming, I'm coming" Han said, holding up his hands. He moved past his co-pilot and pressed the button to lower it.

"Oh I do hope Baron Calrissian is friendly" said 3P0, who had finally joined Leia in the hall.

She ignored him and watched as Han and Chewie walked down the lowering ramp. She could feel the air, fresh, real air, as it blew in through the opening and she took a deep breath, drinking in its scent.

Han took the first step off of the ramp and looked about the empty platform. Yes, he had a bad feeling about this, and it wasn't getting any better.

"Oh, no one to meet us!" came the voice of 3P0 from the ramp behind him.

Leia's answer followed, "I don't like this." She shook her head.

"Well what would you like?" Han asked, turning to her.

"Well they did let us land" C-3P0 pointed out, still standing behind Leia on the ramp of the Falcon.

Han put a hand out towards Leia, "Look, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine." His eyes met hers, but he only found worry in them. "Trust me!"

Then a sound came from the city, the door cycling open. They both turned to look. "See" Han continued, "My friend."

Leia looked between Han and the door for a moment before he moved away, closer to Chewie, so he was in front of the entire group.

Han turned back to Chewie, "Keep your eyes open, huh?" he asked.

**[Of course Cub]** the wookiee responded simply, continuing to watch as the administrator of the city walked towards them. Han moved to meet him, leaving the rest of them standing near the ship, just in case they needed to make a quick getaway.

"Hey!" Han yelled out to the man, Lando, Leia supposed, along with the rest of the man's party.

"Why you, slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler. You've got a lot of guts coming here, after what you pulled" came the voice, and instantly Leia's already bad feeling got worse. He certainly didn't seem very friendly, and she almost wanted to return to the safety of the ship and yell at Han to leave, but she didn't. Leia stood her ground and continued to watch the interaction between Han and Lando.

Leia could see Han make a motion as if to silently say, 'me?', but Lando's face stayed straight.

**[He's right]** woofed Chewie, who was still standing only feet from the Princess.

Slowly, Lando moved closer to Han, but he still stood there, ready to strike if need be, but when Lando made a sudden move, it wasn't in anger. No, much to Leia's surprise, he hugged him. This Lando hugged Han, and started laughing as if he had been pretending the entire time.

"How you doing, you old pirate?" Lando asked, still laughing, and a smile grew across Han's face. Leia saw one of the men, the one with the headset, turn and signal the rest of the group Lando had brought to move back into the city. "It's so good to see you!" continued Lando.

**[Come on]** said Chewie, turning to the Princess and the droid before heading to his friend.

"Well, he seems very friendly" pointed out 3P0, beginning to follow the wookiee.

Leia was still scheptical, and she still had a bad feeling, but she answered none the less, "Yes, very friendly."

"What are you doing here?" asked Lando quickly, a smile still spread across his face.

"Ah, repairs, I thought you could help me out" returned Han, pointing back towards his ship on the platform, steam still rolling off from the tiring journey it had made.

"What have you done to my ship?" came the response, quicker than before, and Lando's smile dropped.

"Your ship?" Han asked, pointing toward his friend. "Hey" he continued, his voice dropping octaves, "remember, you lost her to me fair and square." Han's jaw was set as he defended his ship.

Lando avoided any further confrontation by looking over Han's shoulder to the wookiee, "And how you doing Chewbacca? Still hanging out with this loser?"

**[I do owe him a life debt]** he pointed out.

Han watched as Lando pulled out his charm, "Hello, what have we here?" he asked to Leia, who was now standing next to the wookiee. "Welcome, I'm Lando Calrissian. I'm the administrator of this facility." Han walked around carefully, putting his hand up to the back of his neck and moving closer to Leia at the same time. "And who might you be?"

"Leia" she said, forcing a fake smile on her face.

"Welcome Leia" Lando answered, pulling her gloved hand up for a kiss. Leia looked to Han, now standing next to her, and met his eyes, pleading for him to intervene.

A real smile came across her face as he interrupted, "Alright, alright. You old smoothie." Leia felt liked laughing, either because of Han's response or because she was once again able to feel safer by his side.

"Hello Sir, I am C-3P0, human-cyborg relations" 3P0 started, and Lando quickly shook his metallic hand. "My facilities are at your…" he started to continue, but was cut off as Lando smiled and followed Han and Leia toward the city. "Well really" he finished, sounding as angry as a droid could before he followed everyone else.

"What's wrong with the Falcon?" Lando asked as he caught up with Han on his way towards the door.

"Hyperdrive" he responded.

"I'll get my people to work on her" Lando promised.

"Good" Han added simply, turning back to the city in front of him.

Lando turned to Leia, "You know that ship saved my life quite a few times. She's the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy."

Leia just nodded, knowing very well how many times the Falcon had saved her own life.

The city was beautiful, as much of it as she had seen, mostly just some towers and the landing platform, but it was obvious why many people enjoyed it as a tourist location.

She followed Han and Lando inside as they made small talk. "How the gas mine? Still paying off for you?" Han asked.

"Oh, not as well as I'd like" Lando admitted as they traveled down a set of stairs. He continued going on about difficulties, and Han laughed, but Leia was distracted by the look of the building around her. It was familiar, too familiar to be safe, and while her feeling about the place had gotten better, it just went from bad to worse.

She tried to shake the feeling and listened to Han. "You, listen to you. You sound like a business man, a responsible leader. Who'd thought that, huh?"

"You know, seeing you sure brings back a few things" Lando added.

"Yeah" Han replied, nodding his head and putting a hand on the other man's shoulder. He looked back to Leia as Lando continued.

"Yeah, I'm responsible these days." Leia nodded to Han before following, their eyes meeting once again. "It's the price you pay for being successful" Lando went on as they moved through the city.

Soon they reached a room, the suite Leia figured, and Lando turned to her. "I'll have one of my staff bring you some other clothing if you like." He looked to Chewie and Han then as well, "And feel free to use whatever services you need, all on my expense. There are several locations for fine dining and shopping on the upper decks as well." He turned and pushed the button, causing the door behind him to slide open. "I wasn't sure how many rooms you'll be needing, because you never know who's on Han's ship" he pointed out, glancing at Leia. "But this is our largest suite, there's three bedrooms, each with their own refresher, and then this living area" he pointed out as they entered the room.

"Thanks Lando" Han said simply, giving him a pat on the back.

"If there is anything else I can do for you I'm just down the hall, otherwise my office is on the top floor" he continued, handing Han a card, "This will get you wherever you need to go in the city and you can charge directly on it as well."

"You don't need to…"

"It's fine. It's my city, and I'm more than happy to see you again." Lando moved to Leia, "I hope you'll enjoy your stay here, Leia." He kissed her hand again.

"Of course, thank you" she responded politely.

"I think we're going to get some rest and then maybe go grab something to eat, so if you don't mind, Lando" Han said quickly, bringing a smile from Leia once again.

"Alright, alright, I'm leaving. I'll see you all soon" he finished, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Leia turned to Han, "I still don't like this" she pointed out.

He moved and started the scanning of the room, just to be sure they weren't bugged, "Hey, it's fine, nothing's wrong. Lando's acting the same way he always has."

**[I'll stay with the ship, make sure they don't mess around too much with it]** Chewie said suddenly, heading towards the door.

"Are you sure you don't want to come to dinner with us Pal?" Han asked.

**[I'm sure, it will just look strange anyway. There's still plenty of food left on the Falcon.]**

"Alright, just check in later, alright?"

**[Will do Cub. Have a nice evening]** he finished before walking out of the room as well, leaving Han and Leia to themselves.

"Wait, where's 3P0?" Leia asked suddenly.

"Hopefully he's gone" Han said sarcastically.

"No, really Han. He was just here."

"Don't worry about it" he continued, reassuring her as he kissed her lightly. "Just focus on tonight. As soon as Lando's aid brings those new outfits I'll take you out for a real dinner, alright?"

Leia smiled lightly, "Alright. But I think you'll need to change too" she laughed.

"Don't worry about me. I can clean up pretty nice Sweetheart."

"I'll believe it when I see it" she said, turning and heading to one of the rooms.


	41. Alternate Decisions

Alternate Decisions

Leia looked at her reflection in the mirror. When she had looked in the fresher, she noticed that there was a real water bath, and went to take one immediately. As much as she loved real water showers, nothing could beat a bath.

She had soaked in the tub for a long while before washing her hair and then brushing it out. Returning to the bedroom, she found a pile of clothing laid out on the bed, in particular a blue dress. Pulling it on, she found it fit her perfectly. The midnight blue fabric covered her arms in long sleeves, and the dress went down just past her knees.

Carefully Leia pulled and twisted her hair into a different style, leaving a few strands down to frame her face. And now, looking in the mirror, she realized that she looked more like herself than ever. It wasn't a fancy dress, or a fancy hairstyle, but it wasn't professional either, nothing like the clothing she wore for the Alliance. The dress reminded her of those worn by her late mother, of her home planet, and she was more than happy to be wearing it.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Sweetheart? You almost ready?"

With one last smile in the mirror she turned to the door and pressed the button, causing it to slide open. On the other side she found Han, who was, impressively, dressed in his best clothes. And this wasn't anything like he wore to the medal ceremony, no this was an outfit that was very close to her own dress. Along with his usual Corellian bloodstripe pants, his boots were shined, and his holster was gone. Completing the outfit, he wore a midnight blue shirt and a black jacket. His hair had obviously been washed, but it didn't look much different from normal.

"Wow" he responded after looking her over, similar as she had done to him.

"Wow yourself" she responded, smiling. "I guess you're proven right. You do clean up well."

"I told you I would" he grinned. "And I see you found the dress I picked out for you."

Leia turned to look back at him, "You picked this out?"

"How else would I have matched perfectly?" he laughed. "Of course. Lando's aid brought the clothes and I saw it in there, and figured you would like it so I put it out for you. I know it's not your usual white dress, but…"

She hurried back to him and kissed him. "I love it Han. I see Lando brought you clothing as well?"

"Yeah, he did, but nothing much. But this did match yours so I figured" he shrugged. "Do you want to get going then?"

"I thought you'd never ask. Where are we going?"

"You'll see" Han answered, holding up his arm for her to accept, and once she had he led her out of the suite, the door closing behind them.

* * *

><p>Leia laughed, sitting at the table across from Han.<p>

"What is it Sweetheart?" he asked after taking a drink of the wine they had ordered.

"It's just…you. I honestly would never picture you in a place like this."

"Well, like I said, I can clean up. Plus, you know I'm really a nice man" he added, smiling again.

They were seated in one of the fancier restaurants in Cloud City, on one of the top decks. One wall, of which they were sitting against, was lined with windows overlooking the clouds surrounding the city. Since the sun had set, the clouds were now dark, but the stars brightly lined the sky.

Han had immediately ordered them wine, Alderaanian wine that was the highest priced on the listing, even though Leia had tried to stop him. After that they had ordered their meals, grilled nerf steaks along with side orders that Leia had to explain what they were.

Leia just laughed again, and looked around the restaurant again.

"Hey, will you calm down? No one here has noticed us."

"I just want to keep an eye out" she responded, looking back to him.

"Chewie's already doing that, and there's nothing that I've seen that's a cause for worry. Can't you just enjoy dinner?"

"I'm sorry" she continued, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I just, everytime we go out in public on a mission, or for no reason, someone seems to notice us and then everything goes down the tubes."

"I know Sweetheart. But I'll protect you. I always have, remember?"

She smiled and looked back up. "I suppose you're right. You have always gotten us out of sticky situations."

"That's what I thought" he finished, smiling.

Minutes later their food arrived, and Han just looked at his while Leia dug in. She laughed, "Come on, it's not that bad."

"If you say so Sweetheart. This looks pretty fancy."

"It's nothing fancier than Alderaanian Stew and Corellian Flatbread" she said, "In fact, I think your meal last night was better."

Han carefully took a bite, "You know Princess, I think you're right."

"I generally am" she continued sarcastically.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that's generally right, Your Highness."

"No, that's just your ego talking" Leia pointed out, taking another bite of her nerf steak.

"Whatever Sweetheart" he finished, turning back to his food.

* * *

><p>After finishing their main course, they decided to skip dessert and instead take a walk on the outside platforms of the city. Even though Lando had told them to charge everything to his account, Han insisted he pay for the meal, including the expensive wine.<p>

Now, Han had his arm around Leia, letting his hand rest on her hip and she leaned into his half embrace, her own arm wrapped around his waist.

They reached an observation deck, one empty other than them, and they stopped, looking over the city.

"Leia, what's going on?" Han asked suddenly, sighing.

She looked to him confused, "What do you mean?"

"Something's bothering you. I can tell. Come on, you can tell me."

Leia sighed, "I just…this city."

"What about the city?"

"It looks just like the city in my nightmares" she admitted, meeting his eyes.

"What?" he asked quickly.

"My nightmares, the ones I've been having for the past few weeks. This is the city. It's where I torture you."

"Hey" he continued, rubbing her shoulder, "You're not torturing me. Tonight was one of the best nights I've had in a long time, well, other than last night. And no one is going to hurt us. We'll finish repairing the ship and then we'll leave tomorrow, ok?"

"You promise? As soon as the hyperdrive is fixed?"

"The moment it's done" he said, wrapping his arms around her and tightening his embrace as she rested her head against his chest. "I promise."

Moments later, she pulled back and looked up at him, "Can we go back to the suite?" she asked.

"Sure, if that's what you want."

"Yeah, it's what I want" she said, giving a small smile before returning to their former embrace and walking back towards their suite.

* * *

><p><em>Journal of the Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan<em>

_27th Day, 5th Month, 3902nd Year_

_I don't like the looks of this city._

_Don't get me wrong, it's very beautiful, but it just looks too much like the place in my nightmares for me to be at ease about the whole thing. The curves of the architecture, the white walls and the clean surfaces, it's almost as if my nightmares are reality. Under normal circumstances I would probably be marveling at how much it reminds me of Alderaan, and enjoying the beautiful scenery around us, and the good food, and most of all, Han's company, but it's just strange._

_But I have to trust Han. He says that we'll leave as soon as the Falcon's hyperdrive is repaired. He just left a few minutes ago to go check with Chewie and look over the repairs so far. He suggested I just stay here, and told me he'd be back in a bit._

_So I just walked around mostly and looked through the suite, and then remembered that I had brought this data pad from the Falcon. I figured it couldn't hurt, and I'm going to put it back on tomorrow morning, just in case we have to leave in a hurry. At least this way I'll have something to do while Han's gone other than worry about being caught by the Empire._

_Since we got here I've really been debating it. Sometime in the next couple of days Han will leave forever, and I'll be left behind, and I'm really second guessing our decision about not…would you really call it "making love?" I mean, I have no idea if he loves me. All I know is that I love him, and once he leaves, I'll have missed the opportunity to find out how much he might really love me. It's strange because I still don't understand how I could want something so badly, that moment with him, even though it's something I've never experienced before._

_I suppose what I really want to do is as soon as he walks through that door, I'm going to tell him how I feel, that I want to do this with him. I want to have that experience. Yes, it will make his leaving more difficult in the end, but I think I'll regret it more if I don't do it, and I'll spend the rest of my life wondering if I messed up, wondering what it would have been like to lay in bed with Han, nothing between us. No regrets, no arguments, not even the idea of him leaving. Just the two of us and our love._

_Now if only I could get the courage to ask him._

* * *

><p>Han returned to the suite to find Leia sitting on the couch, looking out the window at the city below. "The ship's looking good. The hyperdrive should be fixed early tomorrow."<p>

"Alright" she said simply, taking a deep breath.

"What's up?" he asked. "I figured you would be in bed by the time I got back."

She turned and looked at him, not answering his question as she got up and quickly moved across the room, pulling him down into a forceful kiss as she reached him. Leia wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and held him to her. Han's arms went to her waist, his hands spanning her hips as he pulled her against his body.

Suddenly Han's thoughts caught up with him and he pulled away, "Wait. Leia, what are you doing?"

"Han…" she started, looking away. He could tell there was still something bothering her, but was surprised as she stood on her toes and whispered in his ear. "I want you."

"Leia, you know…we decided that it wasn't a good idea to…" he continued, but was cut off as she kissed him again.

This time she pulled away, "Don't Han. Just let me talk."

"Alright" he said, pulling her towards the couch nearest them and sat down a safe distance from her. He was still holding her hands as her brown eyes met his hazel.

"You told me how many days ago that I wasn't ready, and that doing this would just make it harder when you leave. But I've been thinking, and I've realized that while it will make it harder when you do take off from the Alliance, I'd regret not having that moment with you."

"Leia…" he started.

"No Han. You don't understand" she interrupted again, standing up and beginning to pace the room. "I know for a long time it was you trying to make it easier for me. There was a sense of pride, of respect, or something like that. For a long time you knew that doing something like that would just hurt me more than anything else. It would cause problems. Either of us could die at any moment, and you didn't want to hurt me if that happened. You didn't want to hurt yourself."

"Yes, but…"

"But it's different now. We're obviously together, a couple, or whatever it is you would like to call it, and there's no stopping that. Other than this blasted continuing idea of you leaving, which I know there's no stopping that. It was going to happen sooner or later, right?"

"Right, but Leia…"

"No! That's the thing Han, don't you see?" she continued, sitting down and placing a hand on his leg while looking again into his eyes. "The regret I'd feel if I don't do this would hurt me more than if we did and you had to leave. I'd rather feel that once than never have the opportunity, and I'm sure now that I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She smiled, "Yes. I know I may be afraid, and maybe I'm trembling" she added, causing Han to give a small laugh, "but I do want this."

Han took her small hand in his larger one, "I…Sweetheart…I don't think…"

She kissed him and he pulled her closer so she was across his lap. Leia quickly pushed the fabric of her dress aside and straddled him, leaning against him into the kiss. His hands moved along her sides, one lightly cupping her breast through the fabric. Leia moaned into the kiss, pushing tightly up against him, and the realization that she was really going to go through with this set it.

Leia pulled away, "Han, I've never…"

"I know Sweetheart" he reassured her before pulling her back into their kiss.

Leia ran her fingers into his hair and one of his hands slowly moved underneath the fabric of the dress and up her bare leg. He ran it back down on the inside of her thigh, bringing another moan from her as he did so.

Han helped her as she pulled off his jacket and started to undo the buttons on his shirt. He ran his lips over her jaw and down her neck to her exposed chest and he moved his own hands to the back of her dress, undoing the clasps that held it together. Moment by moment she felt him undo her dress and soon he was able to slide it off her shoulders, exposing more skin to his hungry mouth.

And then he stopped. Han pulled away and immediately helped her off his lap. She stood, her hands holding the loose fabric to her body and a look of shock was written on her face.

"Leia, I can't do this" he said angrily, pacing around the room.

"Han, but I want…"

"I know you want this, and Gods it's what I want too" he said, turning and striding back to her, taking her hands into his, "But this isn't right."

"But if it's what we both want? I'm serious Han, I'd rather have this experience with you once and never have it again than never have it at all."

"I know Leia, I feel the same way, but it's not right" he continued, turning away from her again and letting out a frustrated groan.

"How is this not right?" she asked angrily.

"Because I'm doing the same thing to you as Bria did to me. I don't want you to go through that!"

Leia's expression softened and she moved closer to him, "Han, no matter what you think, you'll never be Bria."

"Yes, this is exactly what she did! Don't you see that?" he yelled.

"No Han, I don't" she admitted softly.

He turned around to look at her, his face hard and his jaw set, but when his eyes met hers he relaxed a bit. "Leia, I'm sorry…"

"I don't understand at all" she interrupted him. "You don't even know how Bria felt about you! All you know is that you loved her and she left! Maybe she never loved you at all Han, I have no idea! But no matter what, I still don't understand how you can think you're anything like her. You're the most caring man in the entire galaxy. You take care of me, you come back for me, you bring me presents, everything. I've never had someone do that for me before."

"Leia…"

"Let me finish. This bracelet" she continued, holding her arm up to show him, "You know why I never take it off? Isn't it strange that no matter what I'm wearing, uniforms or dresses or sleepwear, I'm always wearing this bracelet?"

"Well yes, but…"

"I wear it because it's true. You are my everything Han, and at this point I know that you're going to leave either way. Nothing is going to stop that now. And no matter what, it's going to hurt, probably more than Alderaan, when I lose you, because you replaced everything I lost on that planet. You replaced my family, my life, my spirit…" she walked toward him, "You've brought back memories and feelings I was sure I'd never find again. Han, I lo…"

She was cut off by the com ringing and Han groaned, frustrated and walked towards it, picking it up. "Hello?"

"What do you mean you need me? Really? NOW?" he said into the com, and Leia could easily hear the growling of a wookiee on the other end.

"Can't it wait?" he pleaded as he looked back towards her.

"Fine, fine. I'm coming. But this had better be quick." He shut off the com and set it back on the table. "I've got to go Sweetheart. Chewie needs me for something right away."

"I see" she responded, a disappointed look on her face.

"I'll be back soon though. Why don't you get some sleep?" he told her, moving towards the door and looking back at her.

"I could come with…" she started.

"No, get some sleep" he insisted before walking out, the door closing behind him, leaving Leia once again alone in the suite.


	42. Simple Words

Simple Words

When Han returned to the suite, Leia was sound asleep, wearing one of his shirts like normal, in this case the one he had on earlier, her hair flowing loosely over the bed. He stood in the doorway, marveling in her beauty for a moment before an unsettled expression appeared on her face, and a moment later she began calling for him.

Knowing exactly what was overcoming her, a nightmare, he hurried to the bed and sat on the other side, his back up against the headboard. He carefully pulled her up and held her tightly until she woke, and he ran his hands slowly over her hair, whispering words into her ear to comfort her, and soon she was back asleep.

Sighing he rested her lightly against the bed, changed and hurried back to her, once again wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her body tightly to his own. He placed a featherlight kiss on the top of her head before falling asleep himself.

* * *

><p>Leia opened her eyes and noticed immediately that Han wasn't there. Feeling across to the other side of the bed, it was obvious that he had been there recently, as she found the slightest hint of warmth.<p>

He was probably back checking on the Falcon again, and to say the least, she was thankful for his absence. It only meant that they would be off of the planet sooner, and the sooner the better. With each passing moment, Leia grew more suspicious of everything. The suite wasn't bugged, thankfully, but there was still something very strange in the city.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she got up and looked at her appearance in the mirror. She was still wearing Han's shirt, which she had found in the other room the night before after he left, since he had still been wearing the clothes from Lando when he went to check the Falcon.

Checking the chrono and figuring that Han would be back soon, she headed into the fresher. She knew that as much as she wished she could take a real water bath, it would take much too long, and instead dressed in one of the outfits Lando had sent up the evening before.

It was a red outfit with a white shall, and it, once again, fit perfectly. Once she had it on and was slowly braiding her hair, she realized something. As a Princess, she had always worn white to represent her virginity. It was just done. Until after her wedding she would wear white, unless the occasion strictly called for another color. But now, here on Bespin, she had worn two colored outfits and didn't have a second thought about it. Granted, she easily could have done things with Han the night before that many members of the Alliance thought inappropriate, but she hadn't, and yet here she was wearing red.

But soon enough, her hair was done and she realized something else. 3P0. She hadn't seen him all morning, or the night before. While normally she would be rejoicing in the droids disappearance, this was just strange.

Slowly, Leia left the room, folding Han's shirt and setting it carefully on the bed before moving out into the main part of the suite. She looked out the window, but paced, trying to remember when she had last seen the golden droid.

Moments later the door on the other side of the room opened, revealing Han. "The ship's almost finished, two or three more things and we're in great shape."

"The sooner the better" she returned, moving quickly toward him. "Something's wrong here. No one has seen or knows anything about 3P0. He's been gone too long to have gotten lost."

Slowly Han set his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead, trying to calm her. "Relax" he responded, "I'll talk to Lando, see what I can find out."

Leia moved to sit down on the couch nearby, "I don't trust Lando."

Han pointed to himself and sat down next to her, but the opposite direction, "Well I don't trust him either, but he is my friend. Besides, we'll soon be gone."

She met his eyes, "And then you're as good as gone, aren't you?"

Han put a hand on one of hers and looked down, avoiding her gaze for a moment before meeting it again. "Leia…"

"Don't act like you're not leaving, because we both know you are" she continued, standing and moving across the room, her back to him.

Han's expression grew angry, "Well if you want me to stay that badly why don't you just ask?" he questioned.

Leia turned around quickly, "What?"

"You heard me."

"Stay" she said simply.

"Ok" he responded, looking up at her as she approached him again.

Seconds later Chewie burst through the other entrance to the suite. [I found the droid!] He was carrying a box filled with the dismantled parts of the golden body.

"What happened?" Leia asked, moving to where the wookiee had entered.

Chewie muttered something she couldn't quite understand, but Han asked, "Where?" The wookiee growled again, and although she knew enough Shyriiwook to hold conversation, he spoke another series of words she couldn't quite understand. She looked to Han, who quickly translated, "Found him in a junk pule."

"Oh, what a mess" Leia continued, turning back to look at the damage to the protocol droid. "Chewie, you think you can repair him?" she asked.

Chewie paused, but soon responded,**[I suppose.]**

"Lando's got people who could fix him" Han pointed out.

"No thanks" Leia responded, only moments before Lando appeared in the doorway.

**[Lando]** Chewie said quickly.

"Sorry, am I interrupting anything?" the man asked.

"Not really" Leia said, her hands moving to tighten the shall around her. Chewie just continued muttering under his breath about the droid.

Lando smiled, his eyes raking over Leia, "You look absolutely beautiful. You truly belong here with us among the clouds."

Han covered his face with a hand, trying to hold back the expression of jealousy that he knew would be readable.

"Thank you" she responded politely.

"Would you join me for a little refreshment?" he asked, approaching Leia and holding out a hand. "Everyone's invited of course."

Chewie stood up and headed to the door, but Lando spotted the contatiner filled with pieces of 3P0. "Having trouble with your droid?" he asked as Han came up on Leia's other side and held out an arm for her to take.

"No" Han responded to Lando's question, glancing down to the droid, "No problem, why?" And with that, Han led the way out of the suite, leaving Lando to give one last glance at the container before following.

"So you see, since we're a small operation, we don't fall into the jurisdiction of the Empire" Lando explained to the group as they walked through the halls of Cloud City.

"So you're part of the mining guild then?" Leia asked, her political background coming into play.

"No, not actually" Lando continued, "Our operation is small enough not to be noticed, which is advantageous for everybody since our customers are anxious to avoid attention to themselves."

"Aren't you afraid the Empire's gonna find out about this little operation? Shut you down?" Han pointed out.

"It's always been a danger" the other man expressed, "And it looms like a shadow over everything we've build here, but things have developed that will insure security."

**[Cub]** Chewie growled quietly, looking back behind them, paying no attention to the conversation between the humans, but his warning went unnoticed.

"I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever" Lando continued.

Han and Leia both looked as the man pressed the button to open the door, and knew that something was up. He looked back to them as it slid open, revealing the dark form of Darth Vader on the other side.

**[Vader!]** Chewie growled as Han grabbed his blaster, shooting before most people would know what was going on. Vader easily blocked the shots with his hand, nothing else. Han's hand was reached back, gripping Leia's in his own, protecting her from the form in front of them. Seconds later, Han's blaster was ripped from his hand and it flew across the room to Vader's waiting hand.

"We would be honored, if you would join us" came the deep, booming voice, the voice Leia dreaded, as Han's mortal enemy, Boba Fett, appeared from a back door.

**[Fett!]** Chewie growled again. Han turned to see stormtroopers file in behind them, and the wookiee made another comment, [Great, I knew something was up.]

Han turned to Lando. "I had no choice, they arrived right before you did" the man responded to his glare. "I'm sorry."

He looked back to Leia and took her hand once again in his own. If they were going to face these enemies, they would do so together. "Well I'm sorry too" Han finally said, and Chewie growled once more before they turned into the room, Han and Leia in the front with Lando and Chewie behind, the door sliding shut and locking them in.

"Princess, it's a pleasure to see you again" Vader's voice rasped. "I'm amazed you are still alive, as I was certain I had you tagged for death after the last time I was graced by your presence."

"Sorry I foiled your plans of murder, Vader" Leia spat, her grip on Han's hand tightening.

Slowly Vader moved around the table and towards them. "Ahh, what have we here? It seems our young Princess has a love interest? I assume you are Captain Solo. Such a shame for a member of a royal family to get involved with the likes of a smuggler."

"Shut up Vader" Han snapped at the dark lord.

"Watch your mouth Solo" responded the bounty hunter, still on the other side of the room.

"What, Fett? You involved with the likes of the Empire now?"

"This Bounty Hunter's allegiance does not concern you Captain Solo" Vader continued, now feet away from the party. He motioned to a stormtrooper who had come into the room after the doors had closer, from the same way as Fett had. The man in the white armor quickly walked towards them and reached for Leia's arm, but Han pushed in front of her. "Interesting" said Vader, "most interesting. It seems that the Princess is not only fond of the smuggler, but he is fond of her. Although, Captain Solo, I ask that you stand aside."

"No" he said strongly, his glare never leaving the dark form in front of him, his hand still clutching Leia's behind his back. "Whatever it is you were going to do to her, do it to me."

"Han, no…" came the protest from behind him.

Han quickly turned, "No, it's fine. I'll be fine Sweetheart."

"Alright" continued Vader and he motioned again to the stormtroopers, who were now fast approaching.

"No, Han…NO!" Leia continued to plead.

"It'll be fine. Just stay close to Chewie" he said, placing one last kiss on her forehead before being pulled away from her by the stormtroopers. "Everything will be ok" he promised, his eyes never leaving hers as they dragged him through the doors, leaving everyone else in the room.

Leia watched him until he disappeared before turning to Vader, "What are you going to do to him?"

"You will see yourself, your highness" he responded before motioning to another set of troopers. "Take the Princess to the viewing room and send the wookiee to the dungeon."

* * *

><p>The room Leia was brought to was empty and dark. The door closed behind her with a slam, and in front of her she could see another room, one of the dungeons she supposed, set up with the torture device she recognized as a scan grid. It was more painful than her own torture on the Death Star, as there weren't drugs to take away part of the pain.<p>

Seconds later the stormtroopers entered with Han in tow and strapped him to the board, and Vader entered soon after. The lights dimmed as they finished tightening the straps around Han's wrists. Soon Vader turned the torture device on and it lit with orange and red color, and he took his place next to Han.

Leia's mouth opened with terror as she watched a stormtrooper press a button, causing the board holding Han to lower. She could see his fists clench, his eyes filled with the expectation of pain to come.

Time seemed to move slower as he grew closer to the grid. She watched as Han closed his eyes, the heat from the grid beginning to reach him and he gasped for air as he grew only inches away. Once upon the board he clenched his mouth shut, trying to hold in the screams of pain already flooding through his body.

Bright sparks filled the board below him and he twisted his head in ways that Leia knew meant pain, his teeth clenched tightly together before he let out a bone chilling scream.

It was a scream not unknown to Leia, as she had experienced it many times over in her nightmares. Night after night she had heard those screams, and silently she wished she was in another of those nightmares. That any moment now she would wake and Han would be there, safe and sound, holding her in his arms.

But they kept coming, and without knowing what she was doing Leia yelled out too. She screamed for Han, thinking that maybe like before she would wake up and everything would be all right. But his torture continued before her very eyes, and she realized that this was the scene she had watched many times. She was torturing him. This was her fault. He had taken her place.

The screaming continued, growing louder by the minute. Each was longer, and the sound settled deep in her bones, and as much as she wished she could fall to the floor as to no longer watch his pain, she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

Leia wanted time to reverse, for her to insist on taking the torture herself. But time was unable to reverse, and she continued to watch as Han was tortured. She didn't even notice when Vader entered her room, but his mechanical breathing brought her thoughts back. "Why are you doing this?" she asked, her eyes never leaving the man in the next room.

"Princess, he volunteered. Would you rather be strapped to that machine?"

"Yes" she answered quickly. "Just, please. Stop hurting him!"

"I am sorry Your Highness, but his interrogation will continue" he finished, and moments later she felt the grasp of hands on her arms. More stormtroopers, sent to take her away.

"No!" she screamed, "Han!" But it was no used. Soon he was out of her view and tears filled her eyes. She was walking, the troopers never leaving her side, but she had no idea where. It was only when they reached the suite that they let her go.

"Change into your rebel clothing" came a voice, and she stumbled across the room, willing the tears to disappear. They couldn't see her weakness. No, she had to be strong. Han would want her to be strong.

They stood guard at the door as she went into the bedroom. Her snowsuit was sitting draped over a chair, but the shirt folded on the bed caught her eye. After making she the door to the room was closed, she pulled off the clothing provided by Lando and pulled Han's shirt on over her head, followed by the snowsuit. It covered the shirt nicely, and you couldn't tell she had it on. She was thankful for the familiar scent of Han and took one deep breath before returning to the stormtroopers outside.

They led her again, this time deeper into the city, and pushed her into a dungeon similar to the one used for Han's torture. She grasped against the wall to regain her balance, but the limp form of Han on the hard bunk caught her glance and she walked toward him.

Chewie was standing over him, and growled, but she wasn't listening. Leia kneeled down next to Han, and her hand went to slowly run through his hair. He was in pain, she could tell, as his breaths were shallow, his eyes clenched shut. The energy was drained out of him, the fight gone, one arm draped over his midsection.

"Why are they doing this?" she asked softly, looking down at him.

Han's eyes opened, staring up at the ceiling and he spoke softly, "They never even asked me any questions." His gaze never left the space above him as Leia leaned in and kissed him on the forehead. After her lips left his skin she rested her head softly against his, but all too soon the door behind her opened again.

**[Lando again]** Chewie growled quickly.

Leia looked back at Han, who's eyes met hers for just a moment, "Lando" she told him and he nodded his head slightly, before she helped him sit up, a hand resting gently on his back.

**[You good for nothing traitor!]** the wookiee growled angrily at the man.

"Get out of here Lando" Han said with all his strength, trying to appear as if he had some energy left after his torture.

"Shut up and listen" Lando interrupted. "Now Vader's agreed to turn Leia and Chewie over to me."

"Over to you?" Han asked quickly, his eyes flashing with anger.

"They'll have to stay here, but at least they'll be safe" Lando pointed out.

"What about Han?" Leia continued.

"Vader's giving him to the Bounty Hunter."

"Vader wants us all dead."

"He doesn't want you at all" Lando continued, "He's after somebody called…uh…Skywalker."

Leia watched as Han sat more straight, "Luke?" he asked.

"Lord Vader has set a trap for him."

"And we're the bait" Leia confirmed, her hands slipping from Han's shoulders as he struggled to stand.

"Yeah, well, he's on his way."

"Perfect" Han agreed angrily, getting to his feet. "You fixed this all real good, didn't you? My friend."

Then, with one last step towards him, Han used the rest of his energy to swing at Lando, punching him squarely in the jaw before losing his balance and falling to the floor. Lando's guards immediately began their job, pounding with their weapons on Han's back.

"Stop!" Lando yelled as Leia rushed to Han's side, crouching down beside him. "I've done all I can" he continued, pulling his cape back on over his shoulders. "I'm sorry I couldn't do better, but I've got my own problems."

Han balanced his upper body onto his left arm, his face showing all of the pain raking through his body, as he looked up to the other man. "Yeah, you're a real hero."

And with that Lando left, his body guards following, leaving Chewie and Leia to help Han up. Chewie grabbed his arm, hoisting him to sit against a post, but making him groan with pain in the process. His breaths were quick as he opened his eyes to look at Leia.

"You certainly have a way with people" she joked, trying to lighten his mood. She was grateful for the small smile that cross his face before the pain returned. Crossing over his legs, she grabbed his other arm and lifted as Chewie lifted his other.

**[Come on Cub]** the wookiee said, hoisting him upward as he continued to groan with the effort of even that.

They placed him once again on the flat surface of the metal bunk and Han lowered himself slowly with Leia's help. She sat down next to the bunk again and rested one arm lightly under his head. The other went lightly over his abdomen to take his right hand within her own, and she leaned her head on his shoulder, careful to not cause him any more pain.

Moments past and still terror filled Leia's mind, but she knew she couldn't let it show. This was her turn to be strong, for Han, the same way he had been strong for her every other time. This was her nightmare, and she had brought him directly into it, and now it was her turn to pay the price.

* * *

><p>It felt like forever since Lando had come in offering terrible news, and it had occurred to Leia that even though Han had agreed to stay, she was losing him. Han would be sent with the Bounty Hunter and she would never see him again. This was it.<p>

Chewie had repaired the droid to a point where he could be turned on and flail his arms about, but the wookiee had purposefully left off his legs, and instead stashed him in a net like sack which fit easily to his back.

Han had slept, and although Leia could no longer feel her arm, she kept it securely under his head. When he had awoken she quieted him back to sleep, and he continued to rest, but the second time he woke she allowed him to get up.

Some of his strength returned, and he was able to stand by himself without much help from either of them, but Leia told him to sit back down anyway. She lightly kissed his cheek and whispered, "I'm so sorry Han" before turning to look at progress on the droid.

Han's hand grabbed her own, "Why are you sorry Sweetheart?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers as she turned back around.

"Because…I…I tortured you."

"No you didn't. I took your place. That doesn't mean you tortured me."

"But…he made me watch. He told me…"

"Wait, you were watching? That whole time?" he asked quickly.

Leia did nothing but nod, and although she could feel the regret filling her, she didn't allow the tears to form in her eyes.

"That…" he started, but was cut off as stormtroopers entered the cell. They moved quickly to Han and forced him out of his jacket before binding him at the wrists.

"All of you, follow" one ordered, and Han gave one last glance to Leia before following the armored man out.

They walked through the city, now deserted. While the sky grew slowly darker outside, the city was anything but dark. The white walls brought a sense of terror, once again, to Leia. These were the walls from her nightmares, and she had ignored it. But they grew deeper into the city, and as they did so the areas grew darker, until Leia was sure they were near the bottom.

Finally, they entered one last room. It was filled with steam, and a blue glow lit the room. They walked up a ramp, the Bounty Hunter leading, then Han, Leia, and finally by Chewie, who had 3P0 strapped to his back.

Her eyes glanced around the room, and then up at Han, who did nothing but stare straight ahead and continue walking, his eyes set with determination.

"If only you'd attached my legs" pleaded 3P0, "I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position! Now remember Chewbacca, you have a responsibility for me, so don't do anything foolish!" the droid scolded.

They paused at a set of stairs, and Han glanced to Leia before letting stand by his side. Together they walked down, and continued to scan the room. She found that although the room had a blue tint, the scaffolding, stairs and ramp were lit orange, all coming together in a large circle, with one center hole.

Little men walked all around them, but Lando stood looking down only a few feet away. She heard the breathing of Vader, and looked up, Han and Lando doing the same, as he entered from a set of stairs on the other side.

Han moved forward to Lando, "What's goin' on, Buddy?" he muttered angrily.

Lando turned his head slightly and looked back towards them, "You're being put into carbon freeze" he answered.

"What if he doesn't survive?" came the voice of Boba Fett from the other side of the chamber, "He's worth a lot to me."

"The Empire will compensate you if he dies" Vader answered as Han's eyes met Leia's. He tried to give her a small smile, a reassurance that he would be ok, but she didn't accept it, and her eyes continued to search his for responses to the questions he could not answer.

"Put him in" continued Vader, motioning to the troopers to move Han to the center rigging.

**[No, we have to do something!]** growled Chewie, trying to make a last ditch effort to save his friend. He pushed back stormtroopers as they traveled towards Han, and 3P0 pleaded for the wookiee to stop.

Quickly, Han traveled towards his friend, "Stop! Stop!" he yelled. "Hey, hey, listen to me" he continued. "Chewie! Chewie! This won't help me. Hey, save your strength" he went on as Leia glanced quickly to Vader and the Bounty Hunter. "There'll be another time."

"The Princess" Han continued, and Leia backed up slowly. "You have to take care of her, you hear me? Huh?"

She grasped the wookiee's arm and looked up at him and he returned her gaze. Soon she looked to Han, and he turned his own head to look at her, the orange glow reflecting off of his eyes.

Without much hesitation he leaned down, his arms still bound and set. Leia met him in a forceful kiss. It wasn't like any other they had shared. It as if they were trying to seal all of their promises, their future, their life, the memories and moments shared, and their love for one another, in one kiss. One moment that they could lock into their memories forever.

But all too soon the troopers pulled Han away, and their eyes met quickly as he was pulled back onto the circular rigging, the steam surrounding him.

And then, Leia knew, in that moment she had to tell him. Three words that she had meant to say many times over. Words she wished she could have said many times over, but never had the courage. The simple words that she didn't want to be said, but the words she needed to be said. She had to tell him.

"I love you."

"I know."


	43. End Notes

And there is the end of "40 Days."

I really hope you have enjoyed reading this story just as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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><p>Credits go to:<p>

Chapter 5: Cor-Pop originally from "Conversations" by Green Brances

Wookiepedia: Where I learned everything I know about Han and Leia and Chewie, their pasts, their stories, the food, the holos, everything.

And finally, all of my wonderful readers! I don't know what I would have done without you! And special thanks goes out to those that send me PMs and hold conversations with me (you know who you are!).

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><p>Alright, alright, the moment you've all been waiting for.<p>

Updates on the Sequel.

Yes, I FINALLY have a name AND a release date!

The sequel to "40 Days" will be called "Promises" and the first chapter will appear on November 1st, 2012. I know it's a long time from now (two months), but I really need some time to work on it and get everything in order.

BUT DON'T FEAR! I have another short story in the works, which I hope to put up on October 1st or sooner! So there's always that to look forward to!

Anyway, "Promises" will focus around the next stage of the story, the 6 months between Empire and Jedi. Here are a few questions that will be answered!

How will they get the plan together? What's up with Lando wearing Han's clothes? How will Leia deal with the loss of Han? Will Leia admit her love for Han to those around her? Luke? Rieekan? The High Council? Does Leia ACTUALLY take a leave of absence to rescue Han? What really happens in those 6 months?

Yes, all of these questions and more will be answered! I have three pages of notes so far, and the list just keeps growing! Some other hints include things from this story that will tie over, such as the journal, the star box, LOS, and a couple special pieces of jewelry.

I hope you're as excited as I am about "Promises!"

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><p>And finally, I have some other important news! My blog will be moving! I know how many of you can't comment on the current one, so I've decided to create a different site where everyone will be able to comment easily. It's coming along slowly, but it's getting there and I hope to have it up and running around October 1st. Official announcements can be found at my current blog (web address on my profile) and on that short story I was talking about!<p>

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><p>Thank you, once again, for reading "40 Days." Especially to those that have stuck with me throughout the entire story. It means a lot that you have followed me like this, and I can't wait to continue writing!<p>

Until then, May the Force be With You. =)


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